Exploring sex for bigger penis sizes
Kinsey Confidential is a service of the Kinsey Institute. For more good sex information, podcasts or to submit a question, visit us online at ?kinseyconfidential.org.
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Kinsey Confidential is a service of the Kinsey Institute. For more good sex information, podcasts or to submit a question, visit us online at ?kinseyconfidential.org.
I’m a straight guy that has been curious. I’ve been fantasizing about being with another man. I want to do this, but I don’t know who to talk to or where to go. At first I want to keep it on the down low. I really want to see if I’m gay. ?Help me.
Kinsey Confidential is a service of the Kinsey Institute. For more good sex information, podcasts or to submit a question, visit us online at?kinseyconfidential.org.
I’ve never had sex with a man who wasn’t circumcised. I’ve had great sexual experiences, especially with my husband over the last 22 years, but now I am hearing people say that it’s common for sex with circumcised men to require extra lubrication. That has never been true in my experience ... or anything I’ve ever heard to be true. They are saying the corona “scrapes” out the lube from the vagina. Is this true and how common is it?
Kinsey Confidential is a service of the Kinsey Institute. For more good sex information, podcasts or to submit a question, visit us online at kinseyconfidential.org.
Kinsey Confidential is a service of the Kinsey Institute. For more good sex information, podcasts or to submit a question, visit us online at kinseyconfidential.org.
Kinsey Confidential is a service of the Kinsey Institute. For more good sex information, podcasts or to submit a question, visit us online at ?kinseyconfidential.org.
Ever since my wife had our son she doesn’t stay wet. She will be wet for a while then in the midst of things she dries up. We have tried lubes, but after a bit it’s dry again. This is really putting a strain on our relationship because she thinks I’m cheating. We don’t do it that often because we never get any pleasure from it. Can someone please help?
Kinsey Confidential is a service of the Kinsey Institute. For more good sex information, podcasts or to submit a question, visit us online at ?kinseyconfidential.org.
I am a 22-year-old woman. I am in a very happy relationship with a man. When I was younger, I experimented with a couple girls, but I never found it to be as satisfying as being with a man. That was years ago, and I haven’t even thought about it until now. Last night, I had a very, very naughty dream about a girl I am close to. I work with her. In the dream, she asked me if I wanted to have sex with her, and I said yes, but only as long as my boyfriend could watch. We got down to business. I reached orgasm with her, and she did as well, and then my boyfriend stepped in and took over with me; I don’t remember what happened to her. It was really hot with him as well. What weirds me out is that it was super hot with the woman, and I woke up still fantasizing about it. I am happily heterosexual, and I love my boyfriend very much. I am not questioning my sexuality, I know where I am there. I am just wondering why in the world I would be dreaming such steamy dreams about a girl I work with. I dream about my man a lot, but there has never been a girl involved before. What are your thoughts?
Sometimes after sex I feel very sore and I feel pain. During intercourse I did not feel pain. It was only after I noticed the soreness. Sometimes I also have cramps the next day. Why is this and can I do something to avoid this? Is it possible his penis is too big for me?
It’s normal for my boyfriend to watch porn a few times a week, right? I feel like I am overreacting to it. I feel more insecure about my body, but sometimes I think maybe it’s more of a trust thing ... like I am worried he is cheating because he is watching this when I am not around. But I know he is home every night with me, he always tells me he loves me and he enjoys spending time with me. I worry that it’s going to interfere in our personal life. Should I be worried?
Kinsey Confidential is a service of the Kinsey Institute. For more good sex information, podcasts or to submit a question, visit us online at www.kinseyconfidential.org.
Question: If I initiate fondling of my girlfriend and my girlfriend just lays there doing nothing but sleeping or resting then gets mad because I fall asleep, who is at fault? I’m the one who initiates sex. I do all of the touching in the relationship.
I am 20 years old but my penis is small, what shall I do?
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>How unsafe is anal sex without a condom? Are there any ways to do this without a condom to make it safe? Does doing it once or twice put you in serious danger?It’s not that anal sex is a dangerous activity per se. Rather, it’s that unprotected anal sex — meaning anal sex without a condom — with a partner who has an infection makes anal sex risky. Because the anus doesn’t lubricate on its own and is more prone to tearing than the vagina, anal sex carries greater risk for passing sexually transmitted infections, or STIs, such as chlamydia, gonorrhea and HIV.If you want to have anal sex without a condom, the most important thing is for you and your partner to get tested for STIs. You might want to go together to get tested and also go together when you have your results read. Then you will have more information with which to make your choices. Keep in mind, though, that your STI tests are only true as of the day you have the tests done. If one or both of you goes out and has sex with other people, thereby putting oneself at risk of STIs again, then you may want to continue using condoms until you know that you two are being sexually exclusive.Some people choose not to ejaculate in the anus or rectum as a means of reducing the risk of STI transmission. Pulling the penis out of the anus and then ejaculating elsewhere — such as in one’s own hand, in a towel or on a partner’s back — does not remove the risk of STI transmission, but it is one strategy that some people use to minimize risk of exposure to sexual fluids.You might also consider ways to use a condom that are more pleasurable. Adding lubricant to the outside of the condom, and sometimes a small bit of lubricant in the inside tip of the condom, can increase pleasure. You might also look for a looser fitting condom that some men in independent testing have found to help sex feel more natural and pleasurable, and less constricting.You can learn more about STIs and condom use on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website, cdc.gov, and more about safer sex and pleasure on our Kinsey Confidential website.Does it hurt when you tear your hymen?No, it doesn’t necessarily hurt when a woman’s hymen tears. Some women experience the gradual tearing and wearing away of their hymen as they engage in vaginal penetration as part of masturbation or vaginal fingering with a partner. Other women tear their hymen for the first time when they experience penile-vaginal intercourse or use a sex toy such as a dildo or vibrator that’s inserted in the vagina.Some women find this initial penetration to be just somewhat uncomfortable and others find it painful. In part this is probably because there’s considerable variation from woman to woman in regard to the size and thickness of the hymen, which is the blood vessel-filled tissue that covers part of the vaginal opening. The level of discomfort or pain also probably varies a bit because women vary in how they perceive pain. Just as some women and men find dental procedures to be very painful or scary and others don’t, the same is true for sex. Thanks to different pain thresholds and different ways our bodies are built, people will always experience discomfort and pain a little differently, even from the same experiences.To learn more about readiness for sex and what to expect early on from sex, check out “S.E.X.” by Heather Corinna. You might also find it helpful to check out the Scarleteen website aimed at younger women and men and features a number of discussions related to virginity, first-time sex and tearing of the hymen.Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, a research scientist at IU and the author of five books about sex including “Great in Bed” and “Sex Made Easy.” Find our blog, sex information and archived Q&A at KinseyConfidential.org.
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>"I don’t know whether to classify myself as bisexual, because, although I find myself attracted to both men and women, I can’t imagine myself having sex with them and the only thing I find pleasurable is masturbation."Sexual orientation is complex and some people have different ideas about how they come to label their own sexual orientation. Not even all scientists who study sex agree on how to best describe or measure a person’s sexual orientation.You might ask yourself why it matters to you to have a label for your sexual orientation. Can you just be a person who finds yourself attracted to both men and women, without having sex with anyone? Are you feeling pressured to have sex with people you don’t want to have sex with? Or are you feeling like you want to be romantically connected to another person, but avoid sex?These kinds of questions might help you explore more about your feelings and attractions. Some people find others romantically attractive, but don’t want to have sex with anyone, either because they simply lack sexual interest in other people or because they experience shame, guilt or disgust about the idea of having sex with other people.Other times, sexual desire just takes time to develop. You didn’t mention how old you are, but rest assured that sometimes sexual interest comes later for people. It’s not unusual for me to hear from some of my college students that while they find people attractive, they’re not interested in having sex with other people at this time in their lives. I like to remind people that they can take romantic and sexual relationships slowly if they want to. It’s OK to just spend time with someone before ever becoming sexually involved with them. It’s also OK to start out kissing and making out, without touching each other’s breasts or genitals. When you’re both ready to move on and try other sexual behaviors, that’s something you can do. And if you never become interested in that, that’s all right too.For more information about sexual orientation, you might find it helpful to connect with Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays through their website at pflag.org. You might also like looking at some of the videos on the It Gets Better Project’s website at itgetsbetter.org, as the videos feature women and men talking about their development and in some cases how they came to terms with identifying as bisexual, gay or lesbian. I hope you find these resources to be helpful.Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, a research scientist at IU and author of five books about sex including “Great in Bed” and “Sex Made Easy.” Find our blog, sex information and archived Q&A at KinseyConfidential.org. Follow Dr. Herbenick on Twitter @DebbyHerbenick and Kinsey Confidential at @KinseyCon.
Q: My partner and I recently started having sexual intercourse, and neither one of us are virgins. We are having problems though, as he has a lot of "girth" or circumference to his penis, and I have only been with one other person and so I am not the right size for him. Another problem with this is that I am on a low-estrogen birth control and so I have difficulties with vaginal lubrication, but he doesn't like to use lube. Is there anything I can do to make it easier for us, and easier for me to get lubricated vaginally?\nA: Love, attraction and sexuality are complex. It can be challenging enough to find a partner who is attractive, smart, interesting, exciting, and compatible in ways that are important to you. To find someone who has all of these qualities, and whose body fits with one's own, can be an even bigger challenge. Fortunately, human beings are adaptive. We look for ways to make our lives (and sometimes our bodies) fit comfortably with that of our partner.\nBecause estrogen is associated with vaginal lubrication, some women do notice a change in their vaginal lubrication when they choose a low-dose estrogen birth control pill. Then again, many women notice differences in their vaginal lubrication throughout their menstrual cycle and regardless of whether or not they are using a hormonal method of birth control (like the pill) or using any form of birth control or not. If you would like to try another type of pill, or another form of birth \ncontrol, to see if it makes a difference to your vaginal lubrication, please ask your healthcare provider about your options.\nMany women find that they can enhance their ability to become "wet" through vaginal lubrication by spending more time doing the kinds of things that they find sexually arousing prior to attempting vaginal penetration (whether that means sexual intercourse, fingers, or a toy). For many couples, this means spending more time in foreplay -- more time spent kissing, touching over and/or under the clothes, breast touching, back massages, or time spent doing things to your partner's body that you find exciting or arousing. It may also be worth exploring your feelings about this partner, as you didn't mention how you feel about him (do you like him? Love him? Are you romantically or sexually attracted to him?).\nIt may be worth sitting down and talking with your partner -- during a time when you are not about to have sex -- and sharing with each other what you each find exciting, arousing and most pleasurable as part of your sexual play. When a woman becomes sexually aroused, vaginal lubrication tends to increase and a process called vaginal tenting occurs (whereby the uterus tips upward, making the vagina grow in length and width -- allowing more room for your partner's larger size).\nIt is worth noting that although there is some amount of vaginal expansion that occurs with sexual intercourse experience, the fact that you have limited sexual intercourse experience is not to "blame" in terms of sex being uncomfortable for you two, and your vagina is unlikely to enlarge permanently as a result of having sex with your new partner. The vagina is muscular and tends to return to its typical size internally, even though the vaginal entrance itself may enlarge with sexual experience or other types of experience (such as vaginal birth). \nAlso, as wondrous a process as vaginal tenting may be, there is a limit to the amount of tenting that occurs. A vagina can only grow so much. If your partner's size is considerable in relation to your body, then a personal lubricant may be necessary in terms of enhancing your pleasure, minimizing discomfort or pain, or simply making intercourse possible at all. That said, lubricants vary considerably in terms of their consistency and it may be that you two might want to try different types of lubricants so that you can find one that feels good for both of you. Some stores and web sites (such as Good Vibrations -- see www.goodvibes.com) sell lube sampler packs for just this \npurpose.