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My wife is not a bike rider, gymnast or very physically active. But she did not bleed or have pain at first penetration. It makes me question whether she is really a virgin.
Not all women bleed the first time they have intercourse, and that has nothing to do with their virginity! There are many myths about female sexuality and virginity, and it’s too bad because it makes many men suspicious of women, and that suspicion can cause problems in ?relationships.
Even gynecologists — who are very familiar with thousands of women’s vaginas — cannot always tell if a woman is a virgin or not, and by that I mean whether or not a woman has had vaginal intercourse before. Not all girls are born with a hymen, the tissue that partially covers a girl’s vaginal entrance. And girls who are born with a hymen may be born with a very thin or small one that wears away during childhood, maybe just as a natural occurrence or through masturbation or tampon use. And some girls are born with a bigger or thicker hymen that, when they first have intercourse, bleeds more than other girls.
Marriage is difficult enough without blame or suspicion, particularly when one can never really “prove” their virginity. I would suggest looking at the positive side and noticing what you love and appreciate about your wife. That is more of a recipe for happiness in marriage, and if you love and appreciate her, she will be more likely to return these positive feelings toward you in the future.
I am 19 years old. I masturbate five to six times a week. Will that have any negative impact on my future fertility or sexual health?
Many young men and women masturbate fairly often, though the frequency tends to decrease with age.
Also, while many people still masturbate after they are in relationships, sometimes people masturbate less often when they are in relationships or having a lot of sex with a partner. There is nothing unusual about masturbating five to six times per week at your age. Some people even masturbate a few times a day.
There is also nothing unhealthy about it, and masturbation will not hurt your fertility for later on. I hope that you enjoy learning more about your body and sexual response. People masturbate for many reasons, including to help themselves fall asleep, to relieve sexual tension and just because it’s fun. For more information, you might enjoy reading “The Big Book of Masturbation” or “The New Male ?Sexuality.”
Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., is a research fellow and sexual health educator at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction. She is the author of five books about sex, including “Sex Made Easy: Your Awkward Questions Answered for Better, Smarter, Amazing Sex.” Check us out online at ? KinseyConfidential.org.
