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I find my penis quite bigger than I want it to be. The girls I have sex with complain that it hurts and ask me to stop inserting my penis further during sex. How can I reduce the size of my penis?
Very often, we get questions from men who wish they had a bigger penis. They think that, if their penis were bigger, their sex problems would be solved. People would be clamoring to have sex with them!
You know it’s not that simple, however. Every now and then I hear from men like you whose penis is larger than average and who find it difficult to find a partner with whom they can have comfortable, pleasurable sex.
Unfortunately, there is no safe and effective way to reduce your penis size, as you’ve asked to do. Your penis is the size that it is, and you and future partners will need to find a way to create pleasurable sex in spite of your larger than ?average size.
I don’t know how large your penis is, but you might find a partner who doesn’t have any difficulties whatsoever accommodating your larger than average size and who finds intercourse very pleasurable with you. So don’t give up hope.
That said, if you’ve encountered this challenge with several women so far, chances are it will continue to come up from time to time. There are a few things that can help.
First, you need to make good friends with lubricant. Learn to keep lubricant on hand and to use lots of it. Slather your penis with lubricant before trying to insert your penis into your partner’s vagina or anus. And when I say slather, I do mean slather.
Err on the side of using too much lubricant — start with the equivalent of a half dollar sized dollop of lubricant and use more if you need it. If it’s water-based lubricant, it will absorb quickly into the skin anyway and you may need to re-apply.
Second, try to use sex positions that give your partner more control. Woman on top may be a more comfortable sex position for future partners because your partner will be able to choose how much of your penis she can comfortably accept. When you’re more comfortable with a partner, you might even find that using a sex toy such as a masturbation sleeve helps. Some sleeves have two holes in them. You can slide it on top of your penis so that it sits toward the base. Then have your partner sit on top of you. This will make it so that your entire penis shaft gets stimulation, but it leaves only the first 4-6 inches of your penis to go into her body.
As for oral sex, you might not get to experience the sensation of your penis being fully accepted into a partner’s mouth and throat, but that’s OK. Enjoy and appreciate whatever you receive, including licks and touches. Every single couple on the planet has to be creative in some way to make sex work for them, and you’re no different. For additional tips, check out the Large Penis Support Group website, which is lpsg.org.
Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., MPH is an associate professor at IU and a Research Fellow and sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute. She’s the author of six books about sex; her newest is “The Coregasm Workout.”
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