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(11/17/05 6:32pm)
Best-selling author Victor Villaseñor will speak at 7 p.m. today in the Neal-Marshall Black Cultural Center Grand Hall. Hosted by the La Casa Latino Cultural Center and the Union Board, the lecture is free and open to the public.\nAccording to a release, Villaseñor will speak on global harmony, pride in heritage, strength of family, world peace, the power of the written word and dedication to education and personal \nachievement.\nVillaseñor released his best-selling book "Burro Genius" in 2004.\nFollowing the lecture, Villaseñor will answer questions from the audience.
(05/19/05 12:21am)
A Pennsylvania religious seminary will bestow an IU biology professor with a three-year Master of Divinity degree Friday, according to a press release.\nProf. Richard Holdeman, also IU's club hockey coach, is to be honored 7:30 p.m. Friday by the Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary in Pittsburgh. \nHoldeman is an associate pastor of the Bloomington Reformed Presbyterian Church and will be chairman of the board of trustees for the RPTS beginning in July.\nPresident of the Seminary, Jerry O'Neill knew Holdeman when O'Neill was a pastor at a Columbus, Ind., church.\nHe praised Holdeman's knowledge as a pastor and a leader.\n"He is gracious and able to work with diverse kinds of people," O'Neill said. "He's very well respected on the board and will be a natural leader for the board"
(04/20/05 7:30pm)
Question:\nWhy aren't any alternative methods talked about to prevent pregnancy on your Web site or in the student newspaper? Are not Natural Family Planning (NFP) methods and the pill both 97 percent effective? Is the pill suggested more frequently because it's easy and one doesn't have to communicate about pregnancy? I am searching right now if it is good or bad to take the pill or use natural methods such as NFP. I'd appreciate your feedback. \nAnswer:\nThese are great questions -- thank you for asking them! We actually do include information about abstinence and NFP methods on the KISISS Web site (www.indiana.edu/~kisiss -- check out the topics section). Reviewing our columns and Web site, it's true that the pill is more often mentioned, but we don't "suggest" people choose any specific method of contraception -- whether it's the pill, abstinence, NFP or another method -- for two main reasons. \nFirst, KISISS is an informational service provided by The Kinsey Institute, a research-based institution, and our mission is to provide information, not medical advice. Second, we feel that choosing a contraceptive method is a complex decision that a woman should make in consultation with her healthcare provider and her partner, if she currently has one. \nIn our newspaper columns, the pill comes up far more often than abstinence, NFP methods or other methods, like the diaphragm, cervical cap, vasectomy, tubal ligation, IUD, etc. That's because students ask us tons of questions about the pill -- it's long been a common method of birth control -- and we print real questions by real students in our column. In contrast, we rarely ever receive questions from students asking about abstinence or NFP, although we certainly welcome these, and we're just as committed to providing information on these topics as others. We enjoy the opportunity to provide accurate, evidence-based information to ALL students regardless of their background, level of sexual experience or beliefs about sexuality, so thank you for adding to the diversity of these questions.\nIn terms of effectiveness, NFP methods are estimated to be about 97 percent effective with perfect use compared with the pill's estimated effectiveness of about 99.7 percent with perfect use. Both of these estimates change, however, with "typical use" -- meaning how well they're used in reality. With typical use, NFP methods' effectiveness drops down to about 80 percent and the pill's effectiveness drops to about 92-94 percent. There are several methods that fall in the NFP category, including the temperature method, cervical mucus method, calendar method and the cycle beads. \nYou're absolutely correct that NFP methods often "take more work;" they can be complex -- that's probably one reason their typical effectiveness rates are lower. If you're interested in this method, though, IU Health and Wellness offers health educators who can sit down with you and teach you how to use them correctly; call 855-7338 for an appointment. \nYou also brought up a great point about communication. Many women and their partners do not talk about sexuality, and we encourage anyone considering becoming sexually active to learn about factors that affect their sexual health, emotionally and physically, and to talk about their sexual choices with their partner and other trusted individuals -- parents, other family members, healthcare providers, professors, friends. Communication is important with all methods of contraception, including the pill, abstinence and NFP. \nIn addition to the KISISS Web site, you can find very detailed information about NFP methods and other contraceptive choices at Planned Parenthood's Web site. You might also enjoy reading "Devices and Desires: A History of Contraceptives in America" by Andrea Tone. \nKinsey Confidential is a service of The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students at IU. Visit the Web site at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss
(04/20/05 7:05pm)
Question:\nI have what sometimes is called "capnolagnia" or "smoking fetish:" viewing a young, sexy woman lighting a cigarette, taking a drag and exhaling smoke makes me feel incredibly aroused.\nI am a non-smoker, I have never smoked nor have the slightest interest in trying it, since I am well aware of the health risks involved; further, I hate the smell of tobacco smoke and because of this I've always preferred to date non-smoking girls.\nSo to my question: is there any product that can be smoked without being harmful for health and beauty, without addiction risk, and without that unpleasant smell of tobacco smoke? I know your service is not directly related to this topic, but maybe you can give me some tip as to where I can find information about this.\nAnswer:\nWhile it's unclear how common capnolagnia (sexual arousal from watching other people smoke) is, we've certainly heard from people with this interest before now. Your question, however, is the first time I've heard from someone who has this interest but is simply looking for a safer way to experience it. I think it's a great question. \nYou clearly have heard about the dangers of smoking cigarettes which is linked to a high rate of various health problems such as heart disease, the recurrence of genital warts and all kinds of cancers.\nWhat is less often talked about are the negative health effects of other kinds of smoking. For example, research has linked marijuana with respiratory problems similar to those found among cigarette smokers including shortness of breath, wheezing, coughing and phlegm. As marijuana joints contain similar carcinogens to those found in commercial cigarettes -- and often at higher levels -- researchers have found associations between smoking marijuana and cancers of the head and neck region (e.g. mouth, tongue, throat, and larynx cancers). \nIndian bindi cigarettes come in various flavors, are somewhat trendy lately and have been found in head shops and health food stores. The Centers for Disease Control has estimated about 2 to 5 percent of teenagers nationwide have tried bindis but the rates are substantially higher in some cities. And though some people think bindis are safe, researchers have found that smoking bindis is associated with higher blood levels of nicotine than smoking ordinary cigarettes.\nIn other words, there doesn't seem to be anything you can actually smoke that is safe (sorry). \nThe only option I can think of that might work for you in your sexual life would be candy cigarettes. These can be purchased online and in some candy stores. Did you ever have those as a kid? They're made of sugar or bubble gum and create a little puff of sugary "smoke." Chocolate cigarettes lack the "smoke" though they also look like cigarettes. Some lawmakers have tried to ban sales of candy cigarettes because they feel that tobacco companies (some of whom reportedly let the candy makers use a remarkably similar version of their logos on the candy packs) support sales of candy cigarettes in order to create an interest in cigarettes among young children. But if you and your partner know that -- no matter what -- you're not interested in smoking actual, risky cigarettes, then candy cigarettes might work for you sexually.\nThat said, some couples avoid actual smoke (even candy cigarette sugar "smoke") and instead integrate their smoking interest safely by telling each other stories that involve smoking, closing their eyes and fantasizing, looking at photos or watching DVDs/videos that involve someone smoking. \nIn some situations, an interest in smoking related to sexuality can be problematic -- for example, if you find that you absolutely cannot enjoy sexuality without including some element of smoking or if your partner simply has no interest (or even a disregard) for your interest. Should it ever become problematic for you, a sex therapist can be helpful in helping you (and your partner) figure out a means of sexual expression that works for you, and you can locate one at www.aasect.org, the Web site of the American Association for Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists.\nKinsey Confidential is a service of The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students at IU. Visit the Web site at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss
(04/07/05 3:04pm)
Question:\nMy boyfriend has been bugging me about going down on me. I feel uncomfortable about this because when I shaved my pubic hairs, my skin looked dry and was peeling. What could be the reason for this? There was no discharge. I just don't want him to think I have a disease.\nAnswer:\nThere are several possible reasons for your dry, peeling skin including irritation (from soap, shower gel, shaving cream or laundry detergent), razor burn (reduce this risk by shaving in the same direction as hair growth) or simple dryness. These might be exacerbated now that you have less pubic hair and your genital skin is more vulnerable and exposed. Checking in with your healthcare provider or a dermatologist might help you understand more about your specific situation. \nIt sounds like you also have some more general concerns that relate to your comfort and interest in oral sex and your communication with your boyfriend.\nWhile many people enjoy receiving oral sex, not everybody does. Some don't feel ready for it, or else they feel awkward, self-conscious, pressured to have an orgasm or simply don't think it feels good (physically or emotionally). If you don't want to have oral sex (either giving or receiving), then don't have it. Many college students (and older adults) decide it's not for them, and there's nothing wrong with that decision. Part of developing a healthy sexuality is discovering what does -- and doesn't -- feel right to you and making choices based on that.\nThat said, some women and men want to overcome their negative feelings about oral sex, even if they're not interested in trying it for a long time (or ever). If that's true for you, ask yourself what you're feeling uncomfortable about and deal with those concerns.\nMany women have been subjected to terrible messages about female genitals -- for example, that they smell, taste or look bad. Consequently, they might feel pressured to have a certain vaginal smell or style of pubic hair to feel attractive. \nOthers become comfortable with their genitals as a result of learning more about bodies and sexuality. This education might come from a human sexuality class, book (such as "Femalia," "The Vagina Monologues" or "The V Book: A Doctor's Guide to Complete Vulvovaginal Health"), Web site (such as the genital art gallery at www.bettydodson.com), healthcare provider, partner or friends.\nRegarding communication skills, why do you think your boyfriend is "bugging you" about oral sex? Have you asked him (nicely) to stop? You might let him know that while you appreciate his interest in pleasing you, you would prefer to find another means of pleasure and that, should your feelings change, you'll let him know (he doesn't need to keep asking).\nCommunication might also play a role in your concern about your boyfriend seeing your skin. People frequently experience skin reactions to shaving, waxing or bathing. However, because rates of sexually transmitted infections are particularly high among college students, it's understandable that you're concerned about his misinterpreting your skin irritation as an STI.\nTry being perfectly honest with him -- perhaps, "I know you've been wanting to perform oral sex on me, so I shaved. Unfortunately, I had a skin reaction." If you get checked out by a healthcare provider (which we recommend), you can let him know what you learned about the likely cause of your skin reaction.\nIt's a good opportunity, too, to discuss your comfort with oral sex. This might mean saying, "I'm not ready," "I'm not into that," "I'm excited to do that, but right now my skin is irritated -- let's wait", or "How do you feel about the natural look, or trimming rather than shaving?" (not shaving might be more comfortable for you, anyway). These are examples; you need to consider your own feelings and decide what's true for you. Talking about sex can feel awkward at first, but it gets easier with practice -- and it can greatly enhance your sexual experience. Good luck!\nKinsey Confidential is a service of The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students at IU. Visit the Web site at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss
(04/07/05 2:57pm)
Question:\nI am trying to prove to a friend that her opinion is wrong -- she says that no other animals in the world have same-sex relationships -- and I'm having a difficult time coming up with study materials that would prove it. Can you help?\nAnswer:\nSome animals form long-term "relationships" with other animals of the same sex, though researchers typically reserve the word "relationships" for humans. More common are occasional same-sex pairings and sexual contacts (which is also true of many animals' opposite-sex pairings, too). One example regularly cited is the bonobo chimpanzee, as both males and females engage in same-sex activity.\nAlthough you didn't say why you and your friend are interested in knowing this information, some people are curious about this topic because they think that studying animals might aid in our understanding of human sexual orientation. It's been suggested, for example, that if other animals have same-sex relationships too, then human same-sex relationships (and homosexuality itself) might therefore be "natural."\nStudying animals' sexual behaviors is complicated enough; generalizing this information to humans (which many are tempted to do) is usually problematic and of limited value. How do these behaviors fit in to the overall social and ecological structure of the species and how do these animals communicate? \nThose of us who study human sexuality can ask people questions about the kinds of sexual behaviors they engage in as well as the meanings that those behaviors hold for them (e.g. "How satisfied are you in this relationship?", "Are you in love with your partner?", "How often do you have fantasies about other people?" or "How attracted are you to your partner?"). Researchers can't ask these questions of other animals, which obviously limits our understanding of their relationships.\nIn studying human sexual orientation, researchers recognize that there are a variety of relationships that men and women have -- whether it's with a same or opposite sex partner. For example, we understand that meaningful, lasting romantic relationships can exist whether two partners have sex frequently, sometimes, rarely or never at all. We also understand that sex is only one aspect of relationships and what keeps people together or breaks them apart.\nSome feel that certain behaviors (like vaginal intercourse or oral sex) are a very important part of their sexual expression with a partner, whereas others are less focused on genital contact with a partner; they might be quite satisfied within a relationship where sexual behavior focuses around self-masturbation, kissing, hugging or no sexual contact at all.\nIn studying animals, researchers often rely on certain obviously sexual behaviors (such as genital contact and mounting) to define a same-sex pair bond since they can't ask animals who they love, feel excited by or prefer to be around. Penguins have made news headlines several times in recent years as various zoos have found that they have male penguin couples who have spent years together -- and prompting some media to dub them "gay penguins." In some cases, the zookeepers tried to take these penguin partners and mate them with female penguins, but without success. While these anecdotal stories are interesting, and scientific research related to penguins, flamingos and other animals suggest that same-sex pairings sometimes occur in both captive and natural environments, our understanding of their meaning remains limited. \nWhile direct parallels between human and other animals' sexuality are limited, it can still be useful to consider some similarities and differences. Research and friendly conversations like your own might help expand our understanding of sexuality and the ways it matters in our lives. \nMany kinds of animal behavior are interesting to humans and certainly some people hope that animal behavior may shed light on sexual and relationship issues we sometimes struggle with such as choosing a partner, whether or not to mate for life, monogamy, gender roles, flirtation and childrearing. If you're interested in learning more, consider reading "Sexual Selections: What We Can and Can't Learn About Sex From Animals" by Dr. Marlene Zuk. \nKinsey Confidential is a service of The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students at IU. Visit the Web site at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss
(03/09/05 10:26pm)
Question:\nI have a problem. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months. I've never felt so in love in my life. This translates into amazing sex. However, this past weekend, I didn't get off once the whole weekend. I couldn't figure out why and he's upset because he thinks he can't do a good job of pleasing me. Is this just a fluke or is something wrong?\nAnswer:\nIt was probably just a fluke, and there is likely nothing wrong with your body or your ability to have an orgasm. All kinds of things can affect a person's orgasmic response -- including stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, fatigue, feeling sick, prescription or over-the-counter medications, changes in hormones, being afraid a roommate will walk in, or having sex in a room that's too hot or too cold.\nIf you're used to having orgasms pretty regularly, it's possible that when you didn't have that first orgasm that you expected, you then got concerned about having another one or wondered why it didn't happen the first time. That worry or anxiety might have made it harder for you to have orgasms the rest of the weekend. It's also possible that, as loving as your boyfriend might be, his concern about your lack of orgasm might have felt like pressure for you to perform. Often when someone's partner has certain expectations, they can translate into stress or anxiety and again make orgasm more difficult. \nI'm sure most of us can relate to that -- whether it's the pressure to have an orgasm, to enjoy something your partner's doing to you, or to do something sexual when you're not ready for it, pressure can put a damper on things emotionally as well as physically. Try to relax and relieve yourself of any pressure to have an orgasm. Talk with your partner about this too. It's great that he wants you to find sex pleasurable, but it seems like you already do. After all, even without an orgasm you found sex with him to be "amazing", which is a very healthy attitude to take. \nOur culture can be pretty focused on sex and orgasms but in reality, many women and men enjoy relating to their partner in a myriad of ways -- and not all of them are sexual. The journey of becoming more intimate with your partner is full of opportunities to experience far more than several seconds of orgasmic muscular contractions; there are opportunities to experience feelings of elation, love, care, attraction, excitement, pleasure and understanding. If you can remove the pressure to behave a certain way (e.g. to have an orgasm, to like a certain kind of touching, for him to last a certain length of time, even to have sex at all), you might find that your relationship -- and sex, if you choose to go that route -- are better than you ever imagined.\nYou might consider exploring sexual activities that purposely will not result in orgasm -- such as erotic touching, massages, breast touching or just slight genital touching. It might be a fun and exciting way to take your relationship to a new level of sexual exploration, and without any expectations that either of you will have to perform or respond in a particular way. \nThat said, if you continue to feel bothered by issues in your sexual life, consider making an appointment to talk with your healthcare provider or a counselor. Our bodies can be affected by a variety of factors (medical, psychological, lifestyle) and just as it's important to be able to communicate about sexuality with your partner, it's also important to feel comfortable talking to your healthcare provider about your concerns. Check out the KISISS Web site to learn more about relationship communication and negotiation skills, as well as get some tips for Spring Break. Good luck.\nKinsey Confidential is a service of The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students at IU. Visit the Web site at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss
(03/09/05 10:23pm)
Question:\nI'd like to get on the pill but I've heard mixed things about it. Is it true that it causes cancer?\nAnswer:\nThere has been a great deal of research on various types of oral contraception (OC; also called the birth control pill or "the pill") since it first became available in the U.S. in the 1960s. First, we should say that early versions of OCs contained much higher doses of estrogen and progestin than the pills currently on the market. In addition, keep in mind as you read this that most research involves women taking combination (estrogen/progestin) pills, which are more popular than the progestin-only pills. That means that we have more information about combination pills and women's health than we do about other methods.\nResearch shows that women who have used OCs have a lower risk of ovarian cancer than women who have never taken OCs. However, it's less clear to what extent the pill reduces risk for women with a strong family history of ovarian cancer. \nOC use also reduces the risk of endometrial cancer by about 50 percent. Endometrial cancer is the most common cancer of women's reproductive organs (the endometrium is the lining of a woman's uterus). As with ovarian cancer, this benefit may last for years after stopping OC use. \nThe risk of colorectal cancer appears to be lower among women pill-users, but more research is needed to understand this relationship, the degree of protection and how long it lasts.\nThe relationship between OC use and breast cancer is unclear. Early research suggested pill use increased women's chances of getting breast cancer, but the women in those studies also had taken the earlier versions of OCs, which were higher in hormones. More recent research has not found a material increase in breast cancer risk; however, it may pose an increased risk for women with other high-risk factors (like having a family history of breast cancer). If you have concerns about your own risk for breast cancer (or you family's health history), you should discuss them with your health care provider.\nResearch findings are also unclear when it comes to cervical cancer. Some research has found an association between OC use (particularly long-term use) and certain kinds of cervical cancer, but other research has not. If you're concerned about your risk for cervical cancer, let your health care provider know. He or she can counsel you about other ways to reduce your risk, like limiting your number of sexual partners (reduces risk of HPV, which is related to cervical problems and cancer), not smoking and getting regular Pap tests. Thanks to Pap tests (which screen for cervical changes), cervical cancer rates have declined in the United States.\nThe decision to start a birth control method is a very important one, and talking with your health care provider is a great way to get accurate information that's relevant to you. It's also a good opportunity to learn about other ways you can enhance your health related to your diet, exercise, annual gynecological exams, breast and vulvar self-examinations, smoking/drinking habits and more. \nSome things -- like your age, weight, smoking history, sexual practices, family history of heart or cancer problems -- may influence which birth control method your health care provider recommends. Hormonal methods (like the pill, patch, shot and vaginal ring) are highly effective at preventing pregnancy, but they don't offer any protection against sexually transmitted infections. Condoms (when used correctly and consistently) and abstaining from genital contact with a partner offer far better protection against STIs. Finally, a good method of birth control will be one that you use correctly and consistently. The pill is a great choice, but not if you think you might forget to take it on time. You can learn more about contraceptive choices on the KISISS web site www.indiana.edu/~kisiss
(02/25/05 7:32pm)
Question:\n My boyfriend and I have been together for seven months. I'm on the pill, and we're wondering at what point it's okay to stop using condoms. We've both been tested and are totally clean. Thanks.\nAnswer:\nThe decision to stop using condoms is a huge one, and it's important to consider the effects on your relationship as well as your health and also to talk openly about these concerns with your partner. Here are some things you might consider: risk of unintended pregnancy, risk of sexually transmitted infections, the status of your relationship and your comfort level.\nBecause you're taking the birth control pill, I'm assuming that you two have decided that you don't want a pregnancy at this time in your life. While no method (aside from complete abstinence) is 100 percent effective at preventing pregnancy, the pill comes awfully close (more than 99 percent effective) when used correctly, though in typical use (e.g., taking a pill later than usual, etc.) it's only about 92-94 percent effective. By using a condom during sex, you're taking extra precautions to prevent pregnancy. By stopping condom use, your risk of pregnancy might increase slightly. \nThen there are STIs, which the pill does not protect against. While it's fantastic that you've both been tested for infections, what happens if one of you has sexual encounters with someone else? College students (like older adults) sometimes have sex with other people and feel too embarrassed or ashamed to tell their partner (or they're downright dishonest). You might feel like that would never happen in your relationship, but what if it does? Condoms -- when used correctly and consistently -- reduce the risk of transmitting infections like HIV, chlamydia and gonorrhea, though they don't offer similar protection from skin-to-skin transmitted infections such as the human papillomavirus (HPV, for which there is currently no test available for men) or herpes.\nConsider asking your healthcare provider how often you should get tested for STIs. Most people are aware of the devastating effects of HIV and syphilis, but infections like chlamydia and gonorrhea can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease and infertility if left untreated. Because they don't always show symptoms, particularly among women, it's important to get tested if there's any possibility that you're at risk.\nWhile many couples agree to a monogamous relationship (sexual contact only with each other), it's good to have this conversation rather than make assumptions about each other's behavior. Things you might discuss: What kinds of sexual behaviors with others are "off-limits"? What happens if one of you strays? How often will you get tested for infections? To what extent do you trust each other to stick to your agreements?\nTrust has a large influence on your comfort with having sex without a condom, though there are other factors, too. Some women simply don't like the feel of a man ejaculating inside of them. Others are more comfortable forgoing condoms after they've been in a committed relationship for a certain amount of time, are "in love" or have reached a desired level in their relationship (e.g., are monogamous, prepared to have children, have moved in together, become engaged or married). None of these reasons, however, guarantees protection against pregnancy or infection, though (if only being in love was protective ... but unfortunately it's not that easy).\nMen often really like the peace of mind of using condoms, particularly because it's a method of birth control that they can mostly control (unlike the pill, for example, which they trust their partner to take). Only you two can decide what will help you feel comfortable enough to make yourselves emotionally and physically vulnerable to each other by beginning to have sexual intercourse without a condom. If you stop using condoms, know that you can always return to condoms if you change your mind. If you stick with condoms, rest assured that it doesn't mean anything bad about your relationship -- it might mean something very good (that you want to be comfortable and careful with each other's health). Checking in with each other along the way is a great way to practice your communication skills with each other -- and enhance your safety as much as is possible. www.indiana.edu/~kisiss
(02/18/05 9:27pm)
Question:\nWhat constitutes a virgin? And what are your views on pre-marital sex?\nAnswer:\nThere are many different definitions of what it means to be a "virgin." Some people say that a virgin is someone who hasn't had penile-vaginal intercourse. If that's true, then are you still a virgin if you're having oral or anal sex but not vaginal sex? What about same-sex couples (for example, two vulvas but no penis)? Oral sex might not always count as sex; In an early 1990s study conducted at The Kinsey Institute about 60 percent of college students reported that they wouldn't say they "had sex" with someone if they had engaged in oral sex but not in intercourse. Older generations, however, viewed oral sex as even more intimate than intercourse, and many were surprised by these findings.\nIt used to be that people would examine a woman to see if she was "still a virgin" -- specifically checking to see if her hymen (a thin layer of tissue covering part of her vaginal entrance) was still intact. If it was, they'd consider her a virgin. If the hymen was "broken," they'd say she was not a virgin. Some cultures still perform these "virginity tests" even today. I'm not aware of any widespread "virginity tests" for men, however, which begs the question: Why is it so important to monitor women's sexuality? \nAs it turns out, checking a woman's hymen as an indication of virginity isn't a reliable tool. Hymens vary, and some girls are born with a very small or thin one. Others tear their hymen during childhood or adolescence, probably through physical exercise, masturbation or tampon use. In addition, in some cultures, where being a virgin can be a matter of life or death, some women have reconstructive surgery to make their genital area appear "virginal."\nSo in essence, virginity is defined in different ways. The question, perhaps, is why is it so important to consider people (usually women) to be "virgins"? What does that really mean? \nRegarding premarital sex, people's views about it vary greatly depending on their age, gender, religion, cultural background, the town they grew up in and their personal values and feelings. However, many women and men engage in sexual activity of various sorts, and at various times in their lives -- kissing, hand-holding, sensual touching, oral sex, anal sex, sharing erotic stories, vaginal sex, mutual or self masturbation, the use of sex toys, and these are just the tip of the iceberg.\nOne issue with the term "premarital sex" is that it assumes that there will be a marriage -- e.g. "pre"marital. But not everyone chooses to get married! And not everyone (such as same-sex couples) can legally marry throughout the United States. The term "non-marital sex" is perhaps more inclusive. \nThe average age for first intercourse in the United States tends to be about age 17, and about 50-75 percent of older high school students (e.g. juniors or seniors) have had intercourse, though these numbers vary by community. There are many issues involved with deciding when to be sexual with another person including: your emotional readiness; risk for unintended pregnancy or infections (notoriously high among college students and teenagers); the commitment level of your relationship; comfort with your partner; communication skills; values, personal beliefs and goals. One of the most important issues is going as slowly as you want to about making a decision to be sexual -- particularly because this decision can affect so much in your life. If in doubt, don't do it -- there is always time to make a decision. There's no need for "emergency" sex. And if not being sexual seems the best, then it is.\nSome people choose to wait until they marry to have sex; others choose to wait until they are in love, in a committed relationship or simply feel physically or emotionally "ready," whatever that means to them. Abstinence is also a good and important choice for many people. As researchers, we don't advance a specific viewpoint on whether teenagers or young adults "should or shouldn't" engage in specific behaviors. However, we do study factors that shape decision-making about sexuality because, like your parents, friends, healthcare providers (and believe it or not, even your professors), we want to help you figure out what will contribute to your happiness and your health. \nIf you're trying to figure out more about where you stand on your feelings about love, sexuality and relationships, you might find the following talk interesting: Author and educator Sol Gordon will speak on "How do we know if we're really in love?" at noon Thursday in the Dogwood Room of the Indiana Memorial Union. Refreshments will be provided. Free food and insight into your love life -- what more could you ask for?\nKinsey Confidential is a service of The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students at IU. Visit the Web site at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss.
(02/18/05 9:25pm)
Question:\nMy girlfriend just informed me that she had HPV but was treated. She said she got it from a previous boyfriend and it was diagnosed through abnormal cell growth on her cervix. She had surgery to have the cells removed which were not cancerous. She says that she no longer has HPV and it is not something she will carry forever like herpes. I assume this is info she received from her doctor, however I'm a bit concerned for myself. We've engaged in vaginal intercourse but I've worn a condom every time. However, I've performed oral sex on her several times over the last three months as well. I'm just curious about HPV and my risk for it and wondering if she is right about it. Thank you for your help.\nAnswer:\nThanks for your question. First, I'm sorry to hear that you're having to deal with sexually transmitted infection (STI) related problems; that can certainly be tough on individuals and on their relationship. But I also want to commend you for being responsible enough to seek out information about your sexual health -- the more informed you and your girlfriend become, the better your ability to make choices about your sexual relationship.\nThere are more than 100 strains of the human papillomavirus, also known as HPV, about 30 of which are sexually transmitted and might cause problems such as genital warts or cervical changes. In addition, while HPV is linked to reproductive and genitals cancers (e.g. cervical cancer, penile cancer, vulvar cancer), most people who have HPV do not go on to develop cancer.\nAt this point, we cannot say for sure if people ever really get rid of HPV or to what extent people remain at risk for transmitting it to others. They might carry HPV forever, or the virus might go away. However, it doesn't seem to affect most people after a year or two and most people's bodies seem to be largely unharmed by it.\nThe tricky thing about HPV is that most sexually active adults (some estimate as high as 60-80 percent) have or have had HPV at some point; it's an incredibly common STI. \nAnother difficult aspect of HPV is that we don't have reliable testing available for guys right now. So for all you know, you might have HPV yourself but we just can't test you for it (this might change in the next few years; research studies are underway to identify reliable tests for men). \nIn women, Pap tests can reveal cervical changes that are usually caused by HPV. While most women's Pap test results return to normal within the year, there are treatments available for those women who aren't as lucky.\nIn terms of your risk for acquiring HPV, it's important to know that neither male nor female condoms can fully protect against HPV since it is transmitted from skin to skin and condoms clearly cannot cover all of one's skin (for example, male condoms do not cover the base of the penis or any of the scrotum); in addition, HPV infection can even occur in areas covered by a condom). \nIn regard to oral sex, it is possible but uncommon to transmit HPV from a partner's genitals to your mouth (it seems to "prefer" genital and anal skin, or so I hear from the Centers for Disease Control). You can learn more about HPV, other STIs and ways to reduce your risk on the KISISS Web site.\nKinsey Confidential is a service of The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students (KISISS) at Indiana University. Visit the Web site at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss.
(02/18/05 9:24pm)
Question:\nDoes frequent male masturbation lead to premature ejaculation during sex?\nAnswer:\nWhile I don't know how often you're masturbating, regular masturbation doesn't necessarily increase the chance of coming more quickly than you'd like ("premature" or "rapid" ejaculation). In fact, two popular methods for men who want to learn to delay ejaculation involve masturbation - the "stop-start" and "squeeze" techniques.\nAlthough we still have much to learn about ejaculation and its timing, it appears that premature ejaculation is sometimes related to things like anxiety and "dry spells" (e.g. having gone a long time without ejaculating, or without certain kinds of stimulation like intercourse). \nThat said, some sex researchers, educators and therapists wonder if our societal taboo around masturbation is related to premature ejaculation in the sense that some guys, while growing up or even in college, get in the habit of speeding up their masturbation and coming quickly so that family members, friends or roommates don't "catch them" masturbating. \nMen can still masturbate frequently (monthly, weekly, daily, twice daily, etc), if they want to, but perhaps the goal shouldn't be to come as fast as is humanly possible. The stop-start and squeeze techniques help guys to "re-train" their masturbation and learn to control their ejaculation such that they can come quickly if they want to or need to (like if your roommate's about to return from class), but they can also develop the skills to delay ejaculation and last longer when they prefer. \nQuestion:\nCan condoms be used for sex in the water (pools, showers, hot tubs)?\nAnswer:\nMost condoms are made of latex and, while latex is quite stretchy and relatively strong (it rarely breaks during vaginal or anal intercourse), some things weaken latex. \nFor example, you shouldn't use petroleum (think Vaseline) or oil-based products (e.g. oil-based lubes, vaginal moisturizers that contain oils, etc) with latex condoms because these substances can weaken latex condoms and make them more likely to break.\nExtreme temperatures can also weaken latex, which is why you'll sometimes hear that you should store condoms at room temperature rather than places like your glove compartment.\nNow that you've had Latex Condoms 101, let's apply this to shower/pool/hot tub sex. Water that's too hot may weaken the latex, or even dry out a woman's vagina (making intercourse somewhat uncomfortable). Beware, too, of oil-based products (like some shower cleansers, conditioners or sun tan oils) making contact with latex condoms.\nOne of the difficulties with condoms and water-sex is that there are so many unpredictable variables. While all FDA-approved condoms meet certain safety criteria, they are intended for sex on the land, not in the sea. In other words, they're tested for their ability to stay intact during typical kinds of circumstances involving ejaculation and penetration -- not their ability to withstand pool chemicals (like chlorine, which may also damage condoms) or tanning products.\nWhile using polyurethane condoms may get you around some barriers (they don't appear to be weakened by oil-based products, for example), you still need to be aware of unpredictable factors that may affect condom safety such as the possibility that if water gets between your penis and the condom, it may cause the condom to slip off.\nIf shower/pool/hot tub sex is ultimately something you want to explore, perhaps you could indulge in water-based foreplay before drying off and having sex (more safely) on land. \nKinsey Confidential is a service of The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students (KISISS) at Indiana University. Visit the Web site at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss.
(01/27/05 3:10pm)
Question: \nI've been aware since my pre-teen years that I have rather large labia minora and have often felt very self-conscious to the point that I'd want to cut the "excess" off when I was young. Hearing from health care providers that this is normal has not helped me to feel more secure. Even with my legs together they protrude out. They get in the way of intercourse and while sitting or moving in certain ways while wearing jeans, they may be pinched. I feel labiaplasty could help me. I'd like to speak with someone about this issue and find a doctor who can perform this procedure. Do you have any information for me? \n \nAnswer: \nWhile it's absolutely the case that women's vulvas vary in skin color as well as the shape and size of the labia minora (inner vaginal "lips") and clitoris, most women do not regularly experience vulvar pain or labia pinching from daily activities like walking, sitting or wearing certain kinds of clothing. \nMany artists, including Judy Chicago and Betty Dodson (see bettydodson.com), have glorified the vulva as a graceful, flower-like, and awe-inspiring part of the body. This positive view of the vulva has been important to many women's appreciation of a body part that, at least in the United States, is often otherwise portrayed as dirty, smelly or ugly -- which is why some health care providers try so hard to help women accept their genitals in their natural state. \nAnd yet women's relationship with their genitals is enormously complex, as Eve Ensler showed in her play and book "The Vagina Monologues." Like you, some women feel physically uncomfortable due to the length of their labia. Their labia may get pinched when they wear certain kinds of clothing, engage in various forms of exercise or try different sexual acts. Labiaplasty (surgical cutting and reshaping of the labia) is sometimes used to help women in these situations. \nA difficulty with labiaplasty is that while some popular magazines and Web sites write about (or even promote) what's been dubbed a "designer vagina" type of surgery, the scientific literature tells a story of ever-evolving surgical techniques -- but only a little research about the ways in which surgery might affect women's experiences, sexual or otherwise. \nThe vulva is rich with nerve endings and (as with other body parts) any time cutting occurs, there is the risk of damage to the ways in which you experience sensation, making the surgical choice an important one. If you are interested in consulting with a health care provider with expertise in vulvovaginal health (who could either perform the surgery themselves or perhaps refer you to someone), you might ask for suggestions from the National Vulvodynia Association (www.nva.org) or the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (www.plasticsurgeon.com). \nFurther, you may find that reading "The V Book: A Doctor's Guide to Complete Vulvovaginal Health" by Dr. Elizabeth Stewart (a leading expert on vulvovaginal health) will provide you with a fair amount of information about vulvar health and anatomy. Then, should you consult with a health care provider about labiaplasty, you'll be well-informed and able to ask useful questions about how the surgery might change not only your vulva's appearance (or sensation). \nIf you would like the support of a counselor as you consider these issues about your body, consider making an appointment with a counselor at the IU Health Center's Counseling and Psychological Services atwww.indiana.edu/~caps, or in the community. This can be helpful regardless of whether or not you choose surgery. Good luck! \n \nKinsey Confidential is a service of The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students (KISISS) at Indiana University. Visit the Web site at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss or write to us at kisiss@indiana.edu.
(01/20/05 6:39pm)
Question:\nIs it weird that I'm horny pretty much all the time? And does anything happen to my vagina when I get horny -- like, does it grow? I'm 18 if that matters.\nAnswer:\nWomen and men have a wide range of experiences when it comes to sexual arousal (feeling horny). Some feel like they are constantly aroused, especially when they're pretty young (teens, twenties or thirties) or during some times of hormonal change. \nOthers feel like they're almost never aroused, but most people fall somewhere in between these two extremes. So no, it's not weird that you feel aroused so often -- in fact, what you describe is one of several "normal" possibilities for 18-year-olds (or even 30-, 50- or 80-year-olds!).\nAs for the vagina, you're absolutely right that it can grow during arousal (pretty amazing, eh?). In its unaroused state, the vagina is only about three or four inches long. But when a woman feels sexually aroused, her vagina goes through a natural process called "tenting" that makes it grow both longer and wider. \nSo where does this space come from, anyway? After all, it's not like the vagina expands outward away from a woman's body. Instead, the vagina expands inward. The uterus tips upward, giving the vagina room to expand further into the body. This increase in size can make sexual penetration (including vaginal intercourse) more comfortable for women. \nBut comfortable sex isn't the only fabulous by-product of vaginal tenting. Some women simply enjoy the sensation. While not everyone actually feels the process occur, some women feel like "something's going on" down there and they enjoy how it feels. Genital sensations might even be an indicator to some women that they're sexually aroused -- and that realization can be a major turn-on.\nAnother sign of sexual excitation that women may notice is vaginal lubrication. It's healthy and normal for the vagina to be somewhat moist all of the time, as that maintains the skin and tissue well, and at times there is also a noticeable discharge (again, totally normal) during the monthly cycle. But during sexual arousal, additional clear fluid or moisture (usually called lubrication) is produced. \nLike the sensation of tenting, "feeling wet" is enjoyable for some women. Plus, vaginal lubrication can help make sexual penetration more comfortable for women by decreasing friction, and it can help clean the vaginal tissue.\nAnd it doesn't stop there! Sexual arousal is quite an involved process with changes also occurring to your heart rate, breathing, clitoris, labia minora (inner lips of the vulva) and breasts. You can learn more about women's genitals and sexuality in "The V Book: A Doctor's Guide to Complete Vulvovaginal Health" by Dr. Elizabeth Stewart and Paula Spencer. \nWhile the vagina goes through quite a few incredible changes during the process of sexual arousal, the vagina does indeed return to "normal" when arousal decreases. Your vagina will return to its normal size, lubrication returns to its typical production rate, your heart rate decreases, your thoughts might return to school/family/friends, and life resumes as usual. Until, of course, the magic begins again.\nKinsey Confidential is a service of The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students (KISISS) at Indiana University. For information about sexuality topics, past Q&A or dorm sex ed programs, visit www.indiana.edu/~kisiss.
(01/20/05 6:37pm)
Question:\nMy girlfriend told me that she had HPV but was treated. She said she got it from a previous boyfriend, and it was diagnosed through abnormal cell growth on her cervix and treated through surgery to remove these abnormal cells. She says that she no longer has HPV and that it's not something she will carry forever like herpes. I assume this is info she received from her doctor. I'm a bit concerned for myself. We've engaged in sexual intercourse, but I've worn a condom every time. However, I've performed oral sex on her several times over the last three months as well. I'm just curious about HPV and my risk for it and wondering if she is right about it. Thank you for your help\nAnswer:\nGood for you for taking your sexual health seriously and finding out more information. There are more than 100 strains of the human papilloma virus (HPV), and only a few of these cause problems such as genital warts or abnormal cervical changes (including cervical cancer). \nEven though there's a ton of scientific research being done about HPV, at this point we just don't know to what extent HPV remains in someone's body and to what extent the person is at risk for transmitting the virus to sex partners over time. People may have it forever, or the virus may go away on its own -- we just don't know for sure. However, HPV doesn't seem to affect most people after a year or two, and most people's bodies seem to be largely unaffected by it. The tricky thing about HPV is that most sexually active adults (some estimate as high as 60-80 percent of sexually active adults) have or have had HPV at some point. It's the most common sexually transmitted infection (STI). Unfortunately, we don't have reliable testing for guysright now. So for all you know, you may have HPV yourself, but we just can't test you for it (this may change in the next few years -- research studies are underway to identify better testing for men). \nFor women, Pap tests can reveal cervical changes that are usually due to HPV. Usually these abnormalities go away on their own within a few months or a year, and most women soon return to having normal Pap test results. When they don't, there are procedures that can be done to help women (like what happened with your girlfriend). Condoms cannot fully protect against HPV because it is transmitted from skin to skin, and condoms clearly cannot cover all of the genital skin (they don't cover the very bottom of your penis or any of your scrotum). In that sense, anyone who engages in vaginal or anal intercourse is at risk for HPV, even if they do use a male or female condom. That doesn't mean that condoms are useless, though. Condoms -- when used consistently and correctly -- greatly reduce the risk of transmission of chlamydia, gonorrhea and HIV. \nAs for oral sex, it appears to be unlikely that one would get HPV warts on their mouth, for example, so performing oral sex on your girlfriend is not considered a high-risk situation for HPV (in that way, it is different from herpes). You can learn more about HPV on the KISISS Web site.\nVisit The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students (KISISS) online at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss, where you can ask questions, learn about our dorm sex ed programs or browse the Q&A archive.
(01/20/05 6:34pm)
Question:\nMy girlfriend and I have been together for two years. During the first year, she regularly had orgasms during intercourse but hasn't since then. She orgasms with oral sex very easily, but never during intercourse. We're happy and in love, so I can't understand why she'd suddenly be unable to climax that way. I figured that she'd eventually be able to again, but it's been so long.\nShe says she doesn't care and that she likes our sex life. I can't understand that, and have tried to talk about it to figure out what I can do. But she's told me each time that it isn't a problem and she doesn't like to talk about it. I've tried lots of different things but so far nothing has worked. Is this common? Any suggestions? What can I/we do so that we can both climax during sex?\nAnswer:\nI can't even begin to tell you how many men we hear from who have similar questions, and who see it as a problem that their girlfriends aren't having orgasms during intercourse. We also receive tons of questions from women who wish their boyfriends would stop focusing on an intercourse-based orgasm and appreciate the fact that they love them, enjoy having sex with them and that they have orgasms some other way (if and when they want to orgasm).\nThe fact is that most women do not have regular orgasms during intercourse. Most women have orgasms from oral sex, self-masturbation, mutual masturbation or the use of vibrators. When it does happen during intercourse, it's usually as a result of clitoral stimulation. \nI'm not sure why your girlfriend stopped having orgasms during intercourse after a year. Maybe she just became more responsive in other ways (like oral sex). There's even an outside chance that she was faking during the first year (unfortunately, MANY women fake for a long time, even if they never admit it). I'm not saying that she faked orgasms during intercourse, I'm just saying it's one of many possible explanations.\nThat's all in the past anyway. If you focus on the present, what you have in front of you is a girlfriend who has been committed to you for two years, and you to her. You're happy with each other and you love each other. You both have orgasms and you are each satisfied with your own orgasms. Can you find a way to not only be satisfied with her oral sex-based orgasms, but to appreciate them? To find her and her sexual response to be something fantastic? \nShe doesn't see this as a problem, so why do you? What would be different, in your opinion, if she could suddenly orgasm from intercourse? Would that make you feel like a better lover, or a more skilled man? If so, are there other ways you can feel good about yourself that don't involve changing her orgasms?\nThat said, I absolutely understand and empathize with your concerns; Our culture places a lot of pressure on guys to be the best lovers on earth, to "give" women orgasms and to know everything about sex. Given all that crazy pressure on guys, it's no wonder we hear from so many men who want to "fix" their girlfriends. They (and you) are doing exactly what our culture tells men they "should" be doing. But that doesn't necessarily make for a good relationship when it comes down to reality. At the end of the day, what you have is an incredible romantic and sexual partner who's asking you to accept her and her sexual response in all their wonder ... and that's a pretty good deal.\nVisit the Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students online at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss, where you can ask questions, learn about our dorm sex ed programs or browse the Q&A archive.
(01/20/05 6:31pm)
Question:\nI've been dating a man for several years, and I love him. We are sexually active, and we are both relatively satisfied. Along the way I have been interested in other guys from time to time, and many times very physically. Recently however, I've developed feelings it seems for a female friend of mine. I don't know what's going on ... I've always identified as straight, but now I'm not so sure. I really am not sure who I can talk to in order to sort all of this out. Any suggestions?\nAnswer:\nSexual attraction is a curious thing. Nowadays we tend to use a lot of labels -- someone is either homosexual/gay/lesbian or heterosexual/straight. Some use "bisexual" to indicate someone who has romantic or sexual attraction to both sexes, though there are others who believe that bisexual people are "truly" just gay (suggesting some "real" sexual orientation waiting to be discovered or acknowledged).\nBased on the thousands of interviews that he and his colleagues conducted in the early to mid 1900s, Alfred Kinsey saw romantic and sexual attraction as lying more on a continuum. He believed that individuals could locate their attractions or sexual behaviors on a scale from zero to six such that zero indicated exclusively heterosexual or opposite-sex interests or behaviors and six indicated exclusively homosexual or same-sex interests or behaviors. \nNot only that, but people could change over their lifetime. In other words, he would see it as relatively common that someone like yourself could be predominantly or entirely attracted to men for years on end and then suddenly find yourself having feelings for a woman. To use his scale, one might say that you started out as a zero but moved to a one or two, for example. That doesn't mean that you keep moving further along the scale to a three or a six (though certainly that's possible too. According to these ideas, you could find yourself at a zero again ... it's just impossible to predict.\nWhether or not this zero to six scale seems sensible to you, there are definitely people you can talk with to sort this out. Free counseling is offered through the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Student Support Services (855-4252 or www.iub.edu/~glbt for more info) here on campus -- and don't worry, you don't have to define your sexual orientation as anything in particular in order to receive these services ... it's okay to make an appointment and still be questioning what's going on with your attractions. The IU Health Center's counseling and psychological services (www.indiana.edu/~caps) is another fantastic campus service to check out.\nYou also might consider how your reactions to your recent same-sex attraction compare to your past other-sex attractions. Did those concern you in the same way? If not, why not? What is it that's different about this attraction (other than her biological sex)? Sometimes, in spite of all the cultural scripts that suggest we'll only fall for a person who is of a certain ____ (fill in the blank: gender, race, age, nationality, height, weight, attractiveness), we feel attraction or love or interest for someone simply because of their humanity, and it surprises us in some way. And that's not necessarily a bad thing ... I think it's great that you're taking the time to learn more about your personal sexuality and I'm sure you'll soon make some sense of it. Best of luck.\nVisit The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students online at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss, where you can ask questions, learn about our dorm sex ed programs or browse the Q&A archive.
(11/18/04 5:20pm)
Question: \n I had bad sexual experiences with an ex-boyfriend. He would force me into things I didn't want to do so I was never there physically or mentally. Now, I have a new boyfriend who I have had meaningful and consensual sex with a few times, but he recently has brought to my attention that he feels that I'm not "into it" when we have sex. That I just sort of lay there and let him do all the work. I disagree with this because it's not all the time, but I know I do it occasionally. I think it's partly because of my past experiences. Is there any way I can get past that and move on and "spice things up" for my boyfriend so he doesn't get bored with me? \nAnswer: \n First, I'm sorry to hear about your past eperiences with nonconsensual sex. Far too many women and men have had similar experiences and they can be tough to move past, particularly when they happened over a long period or when they occurred at the hands of someone you trusted or who you thought cared for you (like your boyfriend at the time). \n Second, good for you for a) finding someone who treats you with more respect and b) for working so hard to communicate with him about your sexual relationship. If you feel comfortable, you might consider sharing information with your current partner about your past experiences as a way of helping him to understand why you may not always seem "into it." This is certainly not something you have to do, and not everyone would choose to. \n I wonder if you've had a chance to work through your feelings about your former relationship in a way that's brought you not only closure, but perhaps some insight and personal understanding about how to navigate healthier relationships. Many women and men who have been forced into sex find that counseling can be helpful. At the IU Health Center, Counseling and Psychological Services (www.indiana.edu/~caps) is a great service, and there are individual and group sexual assault-specific support services, too.\n The book "The Courage to Heal" is frequently used either on its own or in conjunction with counseling and has helped many individuals deal with the effects of nonconsensual sex. Often when people are forced to do something with their bodies that doesn't feel good or right to them emotionally, they "tune out" as a way of adapting to the situation and that makes total sense in the moment; it serves as a means of protection and is a very natural and normal response to a terrible situation. \n The difficulty is when this becomes kind of an automatic response such that now, even when you're having sex with someone who you actually want to have sex with, it can be easy to slip into that same pattern. However, many people learn to break through this pattern and establish new ones and you can too whether that's through reading the book, doing counseling, journaling or paying closer attention to clearly identifying what kinds of sexual expression you do or do not want and acting on your choices. \n Finally, given how negative our culture can be about sexuality, there are an awful lot of people who tune out during sex because they wonder if what they're doing is right, what their parents or friends would think if they found out, if they'll be punished or if they are now somehow "dirty" for having or acting on sexual thoughts and fantasies. So getting over negative associations with sexual expression and accepting the sexual sides of ourselves is -- to some extent -- work that many of us have to do. The fact that you're aware of this and you're ready to do the work puts you way ahead of the game. Good luck. \nVisit The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students (KISISS) online at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss, where you can ask questions, learn about our dorm sex ed programs or browse the Q&A archive.
(11/18/04 5:17pm)
Question:\nAre ribbed or other "extra feature" condoms more likely to break than basic lubricated ones?\nAnswer:\nFortunately, those fun "extra features" do not translate into greater risk. The most important factors involved in protecting you and your partner from sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy are that condoms are used consistently (read: every single time) and correctly. Aside from that, feel free to use condoms that are flavored, scented, colored, textured or even condoms that glow in the dark. FDA approved condoms come in packaging that carries statements about their ability to protect against sexually transmitted diseases. Beware of "novelty" condoms that are not equipped to protect you. It definitely pays to read the fine print.\nThe business of safer sex through condom use is an interesting one in that the best means of protecting a man and his partner from infection, aside from abstaining from sex, would be to use a thicker condom. But then guys, and potentially their partners too, would lose sensation (and guys might subsequently lose their erections). Such outcomes are simply not compatible with pleasurable sex.\nEnter the clever folks in the adult retail industry who have manufactured a wide variety of condoms designed to protect you while maintaining, even sometimes increasing, sexual pleasure. These condoms go through the same rigorous testing as regular lubricated or non-lubricated condoms. Condoms get tested for holes and other defects, as well as for their ability to stretch and to withstand air pressure during an "air burst" test. Only batches of condoms that meet these criteria are allowed to be sold in the US.\nBut all the great condom brands in the world are only as good as their users allow them to be. In other words, given all the time that you may be spending in trying to find a sex partner, you should at least take the time to learn how to correctly use a condom. Even if you think you're the best condom user that IU has ever seen, you might be surprised at some common mistakes people make.\nFirst, condoms (especially latex condoms) should be stored in a cool, dry place (latex condoms are extremely sensitive to temperature changes). Wallets and glove compartments are bad storage spots. Check the expiration date of the condom (particularly if you got it from a friend or you're not sure how long it's been in your nightstand) and open the package carefully with your fingers.\nMake sure to put a condom on before penetration begins, pinch the tip, and unroll the condom correctly. If you realize you're unrolling it inside out, take it off, throw it away and try again with a new one. Since penises can emit pre-ejaculate (that may contain sperm and infection), if you just flip it over once it's been on incorrectly, you may be exposing your partner to the very thing you're trying to prevent! \nOnce it's on, make sure there are no air bubbles that could pop/break during sex, and water and silicone based lubes are both safe bets to use with latex condoms. Keep the condom on for the entire act of sex and, if a guy ejaculates inside his partner, he should hold the condom on to the base of his penis as he withdraws so that it doesn't slip off, get left behind and potentially expose his partner to sperm and/or infection. \nPolyurethane condoms are a great choice for those who are sensitive or allergic to latex, or who prefer oil-based lubricants (oil-based lube should never be used with latex condoms, but can be used safely with polyurethane). These condoms are thin and conduct heat, so they're a pleasurable sensation for many users. Animal skin condoms (think lambskin) offer good protection against pregnancy, but they are not effective in preventing STIs. \nThere are an enormous variety of condoms available on the market, and a seemingly endless array of "extras", as you noted. Check out the KISISS Web site or www.plannedparenthood.org for more information about condom use and www.condomania.com for a glimpse at the wide range of condoms.\nVisit The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students (KISISS) online at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss, where you can ask questions, learn about our dorm sex ed programs or browse the Q&A archive.
(11/18/04 5:09pm)
Question:\nI have small red bumps on my penis. They do not itch or burn, and I have not noticed any pain when urinating. I am sexually active but in a relationship. The only other person that I have had intercourse with was almost a year ago. I have had only very minimal symptoms (three or four bumps) since that time. However, over the past two months or so, the number has increased. I have done some research and my symptoms seem congruent with HPV. I was wondering if it is common for the effects of the virus to occur so long after possible infection.\nAnswer:\nThere are more than 100 strains of the human papilloma virus, some of which can cause genital warts. HPV is a very common sexually transmitted infection, and most sexually active adults seem to acquire it at some point or another. Because it often doesn't show any symptoms at all, it's very easy to pass on to your sexual partners without knowing it. \nIf your former partner did transmit HPV to you, it may be that he or she didn't even know that they were infected, and didn't have any visible symptoms on their own body. Neither male nor female condoms can fully protect against HPV since it's transmitted through skin-to-skin contact (and condoms simply don't cover all of our genital skin), so even if you did use condoms when you were together, they wouldn't have prevented its transmission.\nSome people get a strain of HPV that causes warts, and they develop warts within weeks. Other times, warts don't show up for quite a few months, if they ever show up at all. This "lag time" often makes it difficult, if not impossible, for people with multiple partners to know for certain where they got HPV.\nWomen can get tested for HPV when they get a Pap test done, but as of right now we do not have HPV testing available for men. However, many healthcare providers (particularly dermatologists, who specialize in skin problems) can take a look at your red bumps and let you know if it appears to look like HPV or not. If they begin to bother you (either because you don't like how they look or if some point they get in the way of urination or sexual expression), they can often treat them (though they may come back). It also make turn out to be that the red bumps are something else entirely such as a rash or other kind of skin disorder. The only way to know if to check in with a healthcare provider and ask them to take a look. They regularly examine both men's and women's genitals for various health reasons, so it's all in a day's work as far as they're concerned. Good luck! \nVisit The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students (KISISS) online at www.indiana.edu/~kisissss, where you can ask questions, learn about our dorm sex ed programs or browse the Q&A archive.