And while my roommate gently weeps ...
It's been five days since I have seen my roommate. Seriously. He was last seen Sunday at the RCA Dome. Since the Colts-Steelers game, no one in my house has seen or heard a word from him. He is either dead or waiting in some tall bushes outside Colts' kicker Mike Vanderjagt's house. If you're reading this, Andrew, I finished the entire box of Nilla Wafers in your room. I figured I was doing you a favor. I thought you would be sick and tired of seeing the color yellow. I was going to swing a small yellow towel when you came home.

