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(04/23/09 11:29pm)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>With President Michael McRobbie effectively eliminating official pathways for student input in selecting the commencement speaker, it’s time to take matters into our own hands.We still have a few outlets: the IDS Opinion page, the Jordan River Forum and the bathroom stall walls in Ballantine (which, rumor has it, is where the IUSA tickets found all of their campaigning ideas and some contact info for supporters).I will not sit this fight out – and you shouldn’t either.Taking a proactive role in restoring student voice to this important decision, we must each offer our own opinions about the qualifications we expect from a commencement speaker and specific recommendations as to whom we believe could meet the challenge.A commencement speaker must be, above all, a good speaker. The truth is, society’s greatest achievers are not always its best orators. An engaging personality makes one compelling to watch. And a commencement speaker must be charming and captivating – someone who can put people in seats and keep them awake. My top choice, of course, would be Stephen Colbert. You could say I adore him. A brilliant orator, celebrated for his wit and humor, Colbert could inspire the graduating class to great achievements with gusto and phenomenal comedic delivery. Who knows, he might even offer words of humorous wisdom that would be remembered beyond the post-graduation celebrations at Kilroy’s.I’d also recommend Apple’s Steve Jobs, who proved to be a highly qualified speaker in 2005 when he offered personal stories of inspiration to the graduating class at Stanford University. Speaking honestly of his personal achievements and failures, Jobs delivered a speech that surpassed the general graduation addresses, saying nothing of the need to take that first step on the journey of a thousand miles, leaving footprints on the sands of time that won’t be washed away by our fast-paced, global society, because we’re all in this together.This type of authenticity would surely be refreshing after four years of stale academia. And it might be nice to get some practical advice at graduation.Dick Clark could describe how to defy aging. Britney Spears could teach us how to keep a hectic personal life from affecting our personal career (though she may lip-sync her commentary). And Rod Blagojevich could deliver a speech titled “What Not to Do.”However, Dateline’s Chris Hansen (of “To Catch a Predator” fame) might have the best advice for the graduating class: Don’t show up to a 14-year-old girl’s house with alcohol and claim you’re trying to teach her Internet responsibility. Others making my hotlist: Oprah Winfrey, Barbara Walters and modern minister Rob Bell.These are just some suggestions, but my voice is not the only to be heard.A student committee with the power to recommend speakers must be created. While the administration could retain the final say, student voice is not irrelevant – because as we begin that proverbial next chapter in our lives, remembering our best days, BFFs and all the ways we’ve grown, we at least deserve to be entertained.
(04/21/09 10:42pm)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Oh no! Mind racing, you rewind through your day. It has to be here! Frantic, you retrace your steps. This can’t be happening to me! By now, your classrooms are locked. The search will have to be delayed. You haven’t felt truly stressed until you arrive at the door of your residence center to discover you’ve lost your key. And if a spare key becomes your only option, good luck.At my residence hall, borrowed keys are to be returned by midnight the day they are checked out. So, if you happen to lose your key, make it home at 10 p.m. and check out a spare key, you can only keep it for the two remaining hours in the day.Assuming you won’t find your key at that time of night, you’ll have to check out a key again the following morning.But there’s a problem.This second checkout counts against your allowance of three spare keys a semester. After three keys, you’ll be fined $25 – a charge that can only be explained as a retributive punishment, because up to this point, what has RPS done that merits money?The regularly scheduled resident assistant, on duty at the center desk(note: “on duty” is defined as listening to Pandora while doing homework and playing solitaire), got up to find your key in the key cabinet.A simple accident has turned into a finable offense. But why?In Section F, Line 4 of the Indiana University Residence Hall Rules and Regulations, it is stated that “residents who abuse this service are in violation of residence hall rules.” I assume this clause is where the fee finds its footing. But “abuse this service”?In a building where every door is locked, from exterior entrances to an individual’s room, three strikes should not put you out on 10th Street.Fears over individuals “abusing” this privilege are absurd. Abuse suggests intentionality – a desire to subvert and exploit existing rules. And while individuals might exploit the lax enforcement of the campus smoking ban or push the limits of quiet hours when they’re passionately engaged in a round of Rock Band, no one wants the hassle of acquiring a new key. No one plans to be locked out. Such a service is not abused; it’s needed. Students, on top of $7,000 in room and board, shouldn’t have to buy the limited privilege to a spare key. While charges should be leveled for the replacement of locks, seeing as such action requires new hardware and the cost of maintenance personnel, allowing an individual to enter his or her own room should be free. A spare key fine does nothing to discourage reckless behavior. Any time one loses a key – fine or no fine – he or she resolves to be more proactive in the future. The student buys a flashy lanyard or tries to form new habits to keep it from happening again. But then, reality happens. In these instances, one should not have to worry about unnecessary fines. The sole priority should be quick access to the stained, smelly, messy dorms we call home – to reduce stress and not to create it.
(04/17/09 12:15am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>We’ve got trouble, mateys.Near the Horn of Africa, Somali pirates are hijacking ships, plundering them for goods and hostages. And while most Americans were alerted to this situation last week as the first U.S. ship was targeted by these pirates, this is by no means a new problem. Capturing more than 40 ships last year, Somali pirates are growing increasingly sophisticated, having used their immense earnings from high-priced ransoms (some reaching as much as $2 million) to buy speed boats and automatic weapons. They aren’t your typical parrot-toting buccaneers. Gun-wielding and mask-wearing, these pirates can shiver any unsuspecting captain’s timbers.Finding safety on the Somali coast, they have exploited that country’s weak – and by weak, I mean practically non-existent – government, which has been riddled with internal violence and unrest. These pirates have turned to the seas to find wealth under the guise of defending their nation’s waters from capitalizing companies, who would use the country’s otherwise unguarded seas as dump sites for dangerous waste.Clearly, the situation is complex.While the waters off Somalia have been over-fished and abused, the pirates are not simply functioning as protectors. They’ve ransacked innocent maritime vessels. And with their violence persisting, something must be done.But how can we best address this threat?Ancient legend narrates the kidnapping of Julius Caesar by Cilician pirates. The Chuck Norris of his day, Caesar is said to have remained confident throughout his imprisonment, even encouraging his captors to raise his ransom. He’s worth it, right? Once the money was paid, Caesar raised a fleet and pursued his kidnappers, capturing and crucifying them all. I can hear it now: “Walk the plank? How about I nail you to it.”Caesar responded with force, and now, so must we.Piracy is entirely about the money. It’s a lifestyle of profiteering that offers incentives to those who engage in its practice. The threat to human life through kidnapping and imprisonment is simply a means to an end. Pirates are not suicide bombers; they don’t inflict terror for terror’s stake. Their evil is one with a clear motive: the loot.Last October, the BBC published a report about the lavish lifestyle of the Somali pirates who “wed the most beautiful girls (and) are building big houses.” In a country where half the population receives food aid, the pirates are estimated to have stolen and extorted $30 million last year. With that kind of income, these guys should be some real Jolly Rogers.But the raiding persists.While the social and political situation in Somalia is devastating and regrettable, piracy is not the answer. It is illegal, harmful and wrong. Meaningful change will be accomplished after international fishing laws are enforced and internal governmental stability is accomplished. And these swashbucklers play no part in that solution.Until that dialogue and intervention can take place, we must stand firm against the pirates. It’s time to look these attackers straight in the eyes and say, “Hands off my booty.”
(04/03/09 12:44am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>I understand and support the intent of the second amendment, but something about a pistol strapped to a classmate’s thigh just doesn’t seem right.In Texas, legislation has been introduced that would permit the concealed carrying of weapons at university campuses. While many remain skeptical, supporters insist the bill would protect the constitutional rights of those licensed to carry guns, possibly preventing campus massacres.With responsible students, armed, reckless, wanton killers could be stopped.I’ll admit this logic is sound. Seemingly, the only way to stop a crazy person with a gun is with another gun. But I’m still wondering why this bill – which so powerfully affects students who live in a communal society characterized by close proximity and necessary limitation for the common good – was even introduced.In my dorm room, I don’t even have the right to a candle, waterbed or certain kitchen appliances. Concealed firearms seem much more dangerous than a toaster.Indeed, they are. About 100,000 people are injured by accidental gunshots each year. The close quarters in the residence halls are not a place to bring an object that could accidentally shoot a high-speed projectile. Accidents happen (the guys across the hall left shrimp in their unplugged refrigerator over spring break). But a gun mishap doesn’t just lead to an overwhelming, vomit-inducing stench. People die.The only weaponry I’m comfortable with on campus is that made by the fine people at Nerf.Don’t get me wrong, the right to keep and bear arms is important. It implies the freedom of self-defense and guarantees the fullest degree of independence. Private gun ownership has become an institution in American society. And with all the guns that are out there, comprehensive, all-encompassing firearm disarmament might prove impossible.It would be wrong not to acknowledge that guns are used for self-defense on a regular basis, protecting individuals from violent attackers.Rapes have been stopped and armed robbers deterred by gun-wielding citizens. Guns are simply tools – granted, they’re killing tools – used at the discretion of the one behind the trigger, accomplishing good or bad results.Gun ownership rights must be protected, but they most certainly need not be expanded to college campuses. There are just certain places where concealed carry doesn’t make sense, schools ranking high among them. Safety is a fundamental assumption of the educational process. Academic exchange occurs best in a trusting, secure environment, where fear of physical harm can be forgotten – so that fear of flunking can take hold.In a university setting, where roommates and friends are in and out of bedrooms, where personal property is difficult to secure (people have even asked to share my toothbrush) and where lines in the food court can make you go crazy, firearms should not be added to the mix.The only people that should pack heat on this campus are the silent guardians and watchful protectors of the IU Police Department.
(03/27/09 3:51am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>My name is Tyler, and I have a problem.It strikes when I least expect it – sitting in class, at my desk or on the bus. I might be drifting off to a glorious daydream about life without Wright Place Food Court or trying to comprehend a particular piece of Elizabethan poetry in class.All of the sudden, I’ll feel that familiar pulsing in my upper thigh. Assured it’s my cell phone, I dig in my pocket. But when I look at the screen, there’s nothing there. No number. No text.I’m a tad embarrassed to admit this in such a public forum, but it’s true: I have Phantom Vibration Syndrome.I know I shouldn’t be ashamed. It can happen to anyone. But I just feel like it’s my fault. I should have protected myself.Now there’s no hope. Years of rapid, slave-like response to a small, vibrating electronic device has made my brain hyper-sensitive to vibratory stimuli. Eager for the psychological reward that accompanies receiving a text from a friend, the connections in my brain that interpret cell phone vibration have been enhanced to the point that they misinterpret and even generate their own signals.I’ve been habituated. And the process was so gradual, so natural, that I didn’t even notice.Psychologists say it takes just three weeks to form habits. And once they’re formed, they’re tough to break. In all honesty, we can get into some pretty bad stuff when we think of decisions as isolated instances and not habit-forming choices.Or we can just end up with some really annoying physical side-effects.Part of me wants to sue the cell phone manufacturers. Didn’t they know? They’ve made me this way, got me all paranoid and delusional. Who knows? In our litigation-ridden society, I might even win.Another part feels like I’m in a bad, one-sided relationship. I’m just so dependent. I think about the vibrations all the time. I just can’t get them off my mind. I’d be crushed if I missed one – if I made the precious phone angry, causing it to blink and beep about a missed call.And God forbid I ever turn it to silent. It’d be over. It would mean no communication at all. No vibrations. No notifications. I’d be all alone.If you don’t have phantom vibrations yet, you’re lucky. It’s simply a matter of time. We are the cell phone generation, you know. There’s no escaping it.If you are a present sufferer, know that you are not alone. You don’t have to be ashamed when you reach to your side to find nothing there. It happens to the best of us.And if you are an enterprising Kelley student looking to add club-founder to a comprehensive resume, perhaps you could start a support group for those of us with “ringxiety” and “fauxcellarm.”Because the first step is admitting you have a problem.
(03/24/09 1:17am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Announcing their intentions on Feb. 2, the Red-Hot ticket has since campaigned for connecting, developing and sustaining IU. And with a platform of attainable goals, it seems as though they could do it.To connect students, Red-Hot has proposed a “virtual” student union, where students and student groups could interact on an integrated web platform. On this “student-oriented Web site,” individuals could also choose to receive emails from a particular category of student groups and organizations. In general, it sounds a lot like an IU-only Facebook.The ticket also wants to focus on better connecting students to the campus and community. Pledging to gain an additional $1 million to $2 million for the campus bus system, Red-Hot has plans to lead the process of applying for support from state transportation funds – though it’s unclear whether this money could get the buses to actually show up on time.To develop the campus, the ticket promises to help maximize space, particularly in the School of Health, Physical Education, and Recreation building and Student Recreation Sports Center. It also has proposed the use of student meal points at the Indiana Memorial Union and has insisted that it would work to add a fall break to our calendar. All of these measures could bring increasing quality to student life, though the last two could be particularly difficult. The ticket promises a more sustainable IU by creating a unified campus-wide recycling system. Working toward greater energy efficiency by caulking windows and installing water-saving shower heads in the dorms, the ticket has concrete plans to improve IU’s disappointing record of energy use and conservation.But more than the platform, this ticket is built on experience. Presidential candidate Andrew Hahn is the current IUSA vice president for Congress. And it’s comforting to know that Hahn is majoring in ethics. Hopefully his knowledge of right and wrong can bring increased trust and respect to IUSA, which is still trying to earn a good reputation after its election scandal last year. With concrete, achievable objectives and proven executive experience, the Red-Hot ticket has much to offer to students come election time.
(03/12/09 11:59pm)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Outer space seems horrible: weightlessness, vacuum-sealed food and diapers. I mean, I can’t even stomach a roller coaster. Escaping Earth’s gravity might be a bit too much.But if I ever happen to make it beyond the atmosphere, I’d like a nice place to stay.It’d have to have big windows and some sort of heater. And I’d feel like a genuine astronaut if I had the chance to use a machine that could turn my urine into drinkable water.Though I’d find it hard to leave my friends, family and laptop, one important constant in my life could be there waiting when I arrived.Stephen Colbert.Or at least his name.In February, NASA announced that it would enlist the help of the American public in naming the newest addition to the International Space Station. Currently called Node 3, the new module will be added to the station later this year. But before it’s shuttled off to space, its name will be chosen in an online election.Following this announcement, Colbert sprung into action. Encouraging his audience members to write in his name on NASA’s voting Web site, the funniest broadcaster on television asserted that the space agency’s proposed names (Serenity, Venture, Earthrise and Legacy) sounded more like “organic teas” than space modules. And he’s right.This newest addition to the space station needs a name that mirrors its technological advancement and reflects its importance to the global scientific community. And what name better encapsulates ambition, confidence, gusto and character than Colbert?Colbert’s campaign has some asking whether or not NASA will name the module after the comic if he wins. While some claim it would damage the space station’s legitimacy and international objectivity, the fact is that NASA opened the naming to public opinion. And his name is winning. Apparently, NASA’s as desperate for attention as a certain RHA ticket (the one named for the man who can slam a revolving door). And this naming campaign is doing exactly what it was designed to do. It’s drawn greater public attention to NASA operations and projects.If you subject something to popular approval in our American Idol culture, a) don’t be surprised when it generates buzz, b) be aware of the risk you assume and c) don’t allow a write-in option if you’re concerned with decorum.Addressing Colbert’s meteoric rise in the polls, NASA official William Gerstenmaier encouraged people to “be creative” and “think about what they’re doing” before casting their votes.Seems like he should take his own advice.Maybe our national space administration shouldn’t have allowed important naming decisions to be decided by an easily-influenced and highly cynical public. Maybe Idol-style voting should not be a model for government agencies.Organizations should be prepared to accept the consequences for their decisions.Stephen Colbert has certainly brought joy and truth to Earth. I say give him a chance in space.
(03/05/09 7:48pm)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Four streams of traffic crowd the 3-foot door, but I’m too hungry to care. With my head down, I pushed through. But before I can say “roast beef panini,” I’m sideswiped by a backpack. Recoiling, I bump a hungry girl in Uggs, which is never a good thing. I grab the usual: two bagels, a bag of pretzels, chips and a Coke. Can I just pay and leave already?Curse you, Ballantine Cafe! There must be a better way to get food on campus.Meal point-dependent and car-less, I rely on RPS for food. I don’t have much choice. My access to cookware is limited to the fridge in my dorm room and the toaster in my neighbor’s. And I’m not alone. Each first-year student – about one-fifth of the student body – is required to live on campus. With our inadequate resources, storing, packing and bringing food along to class isn’t easy.While our addictive need for Charley Biggs’ and Taco Johns’ can be readily met in the food courts, we can’t find such offerings elsewhere.What we can find are food “kiosks” – like the one at Ballantine – that offer bags of chips, pastries and sandwiches. Intended to serve as quick refueling stations, these kiosks are not designed to offer substantial nutrition to students. And this would be fine if students were not reliant upon these locations for full meals.But the long lines suggest otherwise, as do the armfuls of food. Students with busy schedules turn to these kiosks for lunch, creating an overwhelming mealtime rush and the occasional food shortage.We need something different. Perhaps we should expand these locations. The demand is there, but not the space. A larger-scale, better-equipped food vendor close to classrooms in the southwest corner of campus would surely be welcomed by the time-strapped student with a full appetite.I’d personally volunteer to bring a sledge hammer to that ridiculous wall that makes the Ballantine Cafe 20 times too small. And I wouldn’t mind taking out that pair that daily rekindles their friendship in front of the fruit stand as an added bonus.But maybe we need greater change: a full-scale food court close to the classrooms. At the Union, perhaps?Once upon a time, meal points were accepted at the Indiana Memorial Union, but those days have passed. Of course, the restaurants will still take my cash, campus access or credit card – but I’d much rather they take my meal points. I sure don’t want them, unless they start having worth beyond Indiana Avenue.This past year, the IU Student Association focused on 100 percent rollover for student meal points. Now that I keep them, I want to be able to use them on a daily basis in a meaningful way – not just in a raid of the Little Debbie rack at the C-store.We need increased food offerings close to the classrooms, for man cannot live by bagel alone. And he surely won’t survive if the Uggs girl wipes out the case before he arrives.
(02/27/09 2:19am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>I have a confession. If you sit nearby me in class and check your Facebook, I’m glancing at your screen.I know it might make me seem like a creeper, but honestly, if you think others aren’t doing it from the privacy of their own homes, you’re sorely mistaken.And hey, I’m just as unfocused as you are.I feel like I’m always working, never playing. And that’s a bad thing – because all work and no play makes me a slow learner.New research supports the importance of play in one’s education. Noting the links between recess and classroom behavior among about 11,000 children, a study published this month in “Pediatrics” asserted that those who had more than 15 minutes of recess a day showed better behavior in class than those who had little or none.And though these findings were obtained through a study of 8- and 9-year-olds, I’d like to think that the implications are the same for college students. Honestly, is there that big of a difference between a third grader and a 13th grader? I mean, we both like PB&Js and can be easily satisfied with video games.I know that mandatory P.E. is dreaded in many high schools, and quite frankly, if it weren’t for “participation points” I probably wouldn’t have done so well. I also understand that organized, team sports aren’t for everyone. But I must admit that gym served a purpose.A Harvard study released last month concluded that physical fitness leads to stronger academic performance. And when it comes to finding ways to improve grades, I tend to trust those Harvard researchers.And so, in this season of new possibilities, with IU Student Association tickets promising to change my life in B-town, I’m proposing it: mandatory college P.E.It wouldn’t be your high school class – no ropes to climb or laps to run, and no awkward moments spent in group stretching. It would be something you like – perhaps ballroom dance or karate, if the traditional sports aren’t for you. And, most importantly, it would get you moving.I know that HPER classes already exist and that many students take advantage of their diverse offerings. I also understand that the SRSC is regularly used by self-motivated students. But there are many who shun HPER classes because of full course loads or as a result of conditioned resentment to school-sponsored sport. And there are also those who would never enter the gym without some sort of coercive requirement (myself included).Physical education, as I propose, would encompass a mandatory HPER class at the freshman level – a class that would not be counted against one’s 17 credit hour limit and be designed to introduce students to a movement-based, activity-oriented class.The results would be astounding. Such massive endorphin release would unleash positive energy throughout this campus. Business students would froth at the networking opportunities present in these courses. And we’d all develop a taste for the extra clarity and focus that comes with regular physical activity.
(02/20/09 1:50am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>I’m not a fan of touch screens. It might just be me, but something about them doesn’t seem real.It’s a screen. There are no physical buttons – nothing concrete and unchanging that I can press and expect a result.While I understand how they work, and that the overwhelming majority of the time they do work, they still seem so fragile and unreliable.It’s probably because I’m suspicious of technology.Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ready to abandon my Facebook, cell phone, TV and e-mail account. But at the same time, I hate feeling that I’m always plugged in – that I’m tethered to devices that could so easily malfunction, leaving me stuck.Because technology does backfire.Earlier this month, a British nuclear submarine collided with a French sub in the middle of the Atlantic. Returning to port, the British submarine was said to have “very visible dents and scrapes.” Really? Dents and scrapes? Princess didn’t wreck her daddy’s car a week after getting her license. Two nuclear subs hit each other underwater.Apparently, the collision occurred because both submarines’ anti-sonar devices were “too effective.” I’ll say.It’s nice to know that the highest, most advanced form of military technology, the nuclear sub – which is meant to protect our country from foreign missile attacks – has trouble sensing something just feet from it.Feel safe?Our society is so dependent upon technology. Credit card statements are online. So are job applications. I receive assignments by e-mail and submit them via Oncourse. There’s a Facebook group for my ballroom dance class.My grades, and thus my eligibility for grad school, earning potential and desirability as a mate – basically, my entire future – is dependent upon technology.And in technology, nothing’s certain. What you want isn’t always available, and what you’d love to delete is still floating out there, somewhere.If they can shut down Juicy Campus, nothing’s sacred. What’s holding it all together?I mean, most of the time it works. I click send and have faith it will arrive. I see the gold padlock in the corner of the screen and feel secure. But when it doesn’t, my world is shattered.Technology fails.For some, faith in technology is great. It sustains us, makes our lives easier and allows us to do more, faster. But if I wanted to undermine society, I’d go for the fragile framework. I’d target technology.And in some ways, technology’s already doing that work.On April 14, 2006, the decomposing body of 40-year-old Joyce Vincent was discovered in her London apartment, where it had been rotting for two years. Upon entering her home, policemen found her decaying corpse sitting in a chair in her living room. Thanks to automatic bill paying enabled by computer technology, her heater was still running. The TV was still on. For two years, her death had gone unobserved, unreported. No family member called. No friend had stopped by. Clearly, her soul had died long before her body.It’s only a click away.
(02/13/09 2:43am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Speaking this past Sunday at the Grammy Awards ceremony, Neil Portnow, President of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences, proclaimed the cultural and economic value of the arts, insisting “it’s time that we acknowledge that fact with the creation of a cabinet position of Secretary of the Arts to promote and develop this vital contribution to society everywhere.” And he’s absolutely right – sort of.The arts are vital to American society, reflecting and commenting on our culture. They make us laugh, cry and dance. We treasure them from our seats, on our walls and in our iPods.With this zeal for art, more than a quarter of a million people have signed the online petition insisting that President Barack Obama create a cabinet-level position to promote and represent our national art community, but I just don’t get it. Why federalize such an institution? Bureaucracy and art are utterly opposite.Art is human expression. Bureaucracy is individual repression. Art is creative energy, dynamic and unique. Bureaucracy is efficient achievement, calculated and controlled. Art breaks rules. Bureaucracy enforces regulation. Art is forward-thinking and rapidly evolving. Bureaucracy sticks with what works.Both are individually necessary. Art inspires us to action, leads us to understanding and captivates us with beauty. Bureaucratic federal agencies distribute government aid, ensure public safety and bring us our mail-order Snuggies.The two cannot be combined.It must be noted that the federal government already maintains a precarious relationship with the artistic community. The National Endowment for the Arts provides money in the form of grants to artistic endeavors across the nation and is our country’s largest funder of the arts. Slated to receive $144 million in 2009, the National Endowment for the Arts does significant work to promote and provide for America’s artists. There is reason for this funding.The Arts provide more than 5 million jobs annually and generate over $166 billion in economic activity. And in these tough economic times, art stimulus makes sense. A provision in the federal stimulus package would provide 50 million additional dollars to the National Endowment for the Arts. This is the type of substantive aid and assistance we need from the federal government in the artistic community.But this funding has not come without criticism. Some Congressional representatives have cited past National Endowment for the Arts projects, including a $300,000 sculpture garden administered last year, as evidence that the organization supports frivolous, avant-garde projects. And in the past, critics have attacked the organization for supporting “explicit” and “inappropriate” projects.This is exactly why increasing government intervention is unnecessary and potentially harmful.Though the National Endowment for the Arts has been consistently criticized by government officials, it has not yet gone totally unfunded – even under Republican administrations. But a larger government bureaucracy would surely draw more fire, and with more fire could come more restrictions and red tape in the artistic community.Art is individual. We all have our own tastes. You love Metallica. I love Kelly Clarkson. Increased standardization and bureaucracy are not necessary. The National Endowment for the Arts can stay, but the art czar cannot be throned.
(02/06/09 2:36am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>“You can do anything if you put your mind to it.”I’d always harbored mixed emotions toward those words.The English major in me desperately wished to believe in them – to proudly proclaim that anyone with a cause and a heart could change the world.But another, gloomier side of me (my inner Eeyore) resented the phrase as naively ideal, feeling as though it ignored the chance and circumstance that unavoidably alters life. The phrase seemed so foolish, so patronizing.Then, a bold new creation gave me reason to believe: the Snuggie.Have you seen these? Marketed as blankets with sleeves, Snuggies are the newest winter weather accessories for easily chilled mothers and fashion-conscious Jedis.In just three months, 4 million of these fleece wonders have been sold, at a pace that tops the meteoric takeoff of the iPhone after its initial release in 2007. An instant success, the Snuggie seems too good to be true. So functional. So attractive. Something with sleeves that could wrap around me? The idea seemed so nice, but so familiar – like something I’d seen before.Oh yeah, we called them robes.But even then, this cover with arm holes, with its luring offers of plush warmth and promises to save the planet by allowing me to turn down my heat, was just so recognizable. I’d seen it before; I just couldn’t place it. Frustrated, I turned to the Internet. And there it was.The Slanket.Launched in 1998, the Slanket was developed by Gary Clegg, a University of Maine student, who was struck with the brilliant epiphany to tear arm holes in his sleeping bag while watching Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Though identical in design and absurdity, the Slanket (the true innovator in the sleeved-blanket revolution) has been eclipsed by its more aggressively advertised copycat, the Snuggie.My heart sank.Here’s a somewhat bold and not really new idea that some college student dreams up in the early hours of the morning. And then, the credit, profit and fleece-covered glory goes not to the gutsy creator who had the audacity to sell people a backwards robe, but to the advertiser who found a better way to do it. In this instance, originality of idea came in second to marketability.And as long as someone will keep buying Snuggies, someone will keep selling them – even though blankets, robes and sweatshirts are time-tested, readily available and culturally acceptable.Fiscally speaking, the booming sales of Snuggies in this down economy is encouraging news, suggesting the era of reckless, ridiculous American consumerism has not yet drawn to a close. Though our society becomes increasingly cynical and skeptical, we can still be won over by simple products with clever marketing.But I’m left jaded.It seems you can do anything you want – if you dedicate your mind to finding the best way to market your idea before being beat out by a competitor offering your creation in flashier packaging.Blobes, anyone?
(01/28/09 4:25am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Last Sunday, disgraced Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich compared himself to Nelson Mandela, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi on NBC’s “Today Show,” suggesting that his public scrutiny is akin to the hate-driven persecution of these human rights heroes.How ridiculous!Just two days before, the governor had likened himself to the gallant cowboy hero of the old western films, under fire from the evil “tax-raising” townies.Such absurd statements have led some to question the governor’s sanity, others to criticize his integrity and many to call for a new hairstyle. But the true cause of Blagojevich’s actions is not some latent psychiatric disorder, internal desire to do wrong or the result of his dreadful comb-over.It’s pride.Blagojevich’s downfall is a function of too much power placed in all too eager hands. Enabled by the privileges of his position, the governor engaged in wide-scale corruption with seemingly little fear of getting caught. Attempting to broker deals for all kinds of state jobs and contracts, he was the absolute opportunist whose thirst for power and blind belief that his position placed him above the law led to 76 pages of federal charges.Blagojevich is the supreme example of unhealthy self-importance. And though his case is extreme, such thoughts are not foreign to most Americans.Fostered in community soccer leagues where everyone gets a trophy and encouraged in schools where everyone’s a winner, a healthy sense of self-esteem has grown within our national culture. But this positive, self-affirming perspective, when coupled with American materialism and careerism, can quickly turn to self-worshiping pride.And it’s not a good thing.It’s pride that leads to war and pride that so often impedes peace. It’s pride that brings the politician to blindly believe the affair can stay hidden and pride that prompts the star athlete to seek forbidden pills to secure fleeting fame. It’s pride that wrecks marriages, families, friendships and careers.And it was pride that led a state governor to attempt to sell a high-profile senate seat; to lie about it; to fill the vacant seat regardless of public opposition; to be investigated, arrested and impeached; to pathetically assert that he’s a victim of the law, and to tactlessly compare himself to admirable, persecuted activists.Abraham Lincoln once wisely stated, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”We’re all naturally prone to placing our own needs above the needs of others. Economists even have a word for it. They call it “self-interest.” But when this natural impulse is matched with great authority, we must be careful. We can’t let our own feelings of significance grow to the point where we forget reality. We need honest advisors who’ll question our actions and intentions.If there’s anything to learn from Gov. Blagojevich, it’s this:1– The comb-over is dead.2– Never compare yourself to Ghandi.3– Pride always starts with self-importance and always leads to self-destruction.
(01/21/09 2:30am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>As man’s best friend and woman’s trendiest purse accessory, dogs hold a sacred communion with the humans who feed, walk and love them. Lassie, Snoopy and Marley are beloved national treasures. But more than being objects of affection, dogs are telling reflections. Tall and gallant or small and yappy, a dog’s size, breed and personality reveals much about its owner. So as the new first family takes up residence in the White House, the family member I’m most interested in is the First Dog. The Obamas’ dog search has been highly publicized – as it should be. While some critics (presumably dog-haters), claim that this story is non-news, that this line of reporting is just one more example of the news media disseminating worthless information with the same fervor and feeling as truly significant stories, they’re wrong. For news isn’t what we need to know. It’s what we want to know. In fact, this might be one of the most “newsworthy” stories out there – after any factoid about Britney, that is. And unlike the accounts of Princess Spears, the selection of Obama’s pooch seems almost responsible, as its implications could reveal much about the future of this nation.We are still expectantly waiting for the big announcement. But we do know it’s down to two. The next dog to roam the presidential house and pee on the presidential grass and chew on the presidential furniture and shed on the presidential everything will be either a Portuguese water dog or a Labradoodle (a cross between a Labrador retriever and a poodle). And while I remain uncertain as to how Obama will lead this nation, I can confidently say he must, if he is to be a truly great American president, purchase a Labradoodle. We cannot allow a breed with foreign roots, raised to aid Portuguese fishermen in the 14th century, into the White House – unless it has documentation to prove it’s a citizen. Though the subversive (and probably anarchist) American Kennel Club advocates the Portuguese water dog, claiming that purebreds are time-tested and reliable, it is clear that this is a thinly veiled attempt to undermine the strength of our country. We don’t want fancy dogs that have been bred, trained and groomed to do useful work for humans. We want a dog like us. A fighter. A mutt. The all-American choice is the Labradoodle. A mix of two beloved breeds, the Labradoodle got its start when a blind woman from Hawaii wanted a guide dog that would not agitate her husband’s allergies. Hypoallergenic and smart, this breed embodies the great American value: using knowledge to artificially control and conquer our environment. And its unique balance of temperament – the raw, rambunctious energy of the Labrador and the refined, elegant style of the poodle – is entirely reflective of our new, nuanced president. Likewise, the breed’s mixed origins echo Obama’s complicated past. There is no better choice. Don’t let us down, Mr. President.
(01/12/09 3:33am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Already? That went by fast. I guess between the dollops of cheeseball, the gifts and returns, the coffeehouse reunions and the joyous ringing in of ’09, my winter break ticked away. Classes start today. And though the wait for spring break will be long and cold, I can’t help but think: What a great time to be a college student.Sure, tuition will most certainly increase in light of the state government’s spending freeze. And yes, those summer jobs and internships that we depend upon could be harder to come by in the ever-tightening economy. And you’d be exactly right to suppose that it will become increasingly difficult for young people without lengthy credit histories to get real, substantial loans. But at least we’re not IU administrators. Facing fewer dollars from the state budget office, the IU Board of Trustees is considering a plan submitted by President Michael McRobbie to freeze the salaries of the University’s senior administrators – a bold and admirable initiative that could save the university $2 million this coming year. It’s always nice to get a raise, and though most are willing to make sacrifices for the common good, it’s much harder to say yes when that sacrifice affects the wallet. But the administrators’ lighter pockets intend to help keep college costs down, and that’s something I’ll always support. Thanks, President McRobbie. I appreciate it. And University officials are not the only ones confronting slimmer earnings. Companies across the country, witnessing plummeting sales, have been forced into layoffs and downsizing. Borders stores across the country are closing. (If only this could affect the cost of textbooks!) And the Church of England recently published two new prayers to provide comfort to distressed parishioners: the “prayer on being made redundant” and the “prayer for those remaining in the workplace.” How about a “prayer for the eternal hell-bound souls of greedy executives?” No. You’re right, they’ve already been bailed out enough.In these troubling times, no one seems immune. Not even The New York Times.This standard in American journalism, heralded for its in-depth reporting and analysis, is struggling too. In need of cash, the Times is now selling advertising on its front page. I can see it now: the Geico cavemen opposite the Israel-Palestinian conflict. For a prominent, trailblazing and supremely pretentious paper, this must be quite painful. This financial crisis has hit everyone hard. Autoworkers and bankers. Young and old. Poor and rich (well, at least the rich who invested with Bernard Madoff). So why not be on a campus where there’s plenty to do? Where the flurry of classes, clubs and parties can drown out the noise of worldwide economic despair?As this semester begins, I’m dreading getting back to the daily grind of reading, writing and reading some more. But looking at the wider world, I guess I don’t have it that bad. It’s a great time to be a college student. But a college grad? That’s another matter.
(12/15/08 1:49am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>We all know what this season is about: presents. And this year, I think I’m going to cash in.With the economy in a slump, stores have been forced to slash prices, and consumer costs have plummeted. My friends and family better have taken notice.Although, as often happens when one is repeatedly blessed, I find I’m not spending my time thinking about how lucky I’ll be. No. That’d be too grateful and appreciative. Instead, I’m preoccupied with the one thing I’ll never get, the one thing that could drastically improve my way of life at the cost of my personal dignity.Rain boots.A week ago, the skies opened above our fair campus, and water poured down in waves. I shuffled to class, my humble umbrella serving as a meager shield against the deluge. And as the rain came down, the puddles popped up. Everywhere, unassuming pools became an undergrad’s worst nightmare. And though I tried to be alert and extra attentive, I hit one. Splash. In one moment, I’d gone from being miserable to really miserable.When I got to class, I realized I’d have to endure the next 50 minutes in this wretched state. Attempting to find solace, I looked around the room for pity. And while many guys looked just as uncomfortable as I did, I realized the women were dry. As my gaze turned to the floor, I saw their brightly colored boots, adorned with rainbows, ducks and bright stripes. I became bitter.I like being dry, too. If I’d been wearing those rain boots, which seem to be an obligatory part of every college girl’s wardrobe, my jeans would’ve been protected. I wouldn’t have had to endure class while wallowing in my wet anger. It just seemed so absurd.Why don’t they make some of those rubber wonders for men? They wouldn’t have to be as flashy or as variegated as those made for women. In fact, it’d be fine if they only came in three colors: black, brown, and camo (if you’re really hard-core). I’d pay any cost to stay dry and know many who would do the same.There are other things I might like to have, but doubt I’ll ever unwrap. A fanny pack could be nice. I know they’re fashion suicide, but it’d be cool to carry more things with me, like a camera, scissors, a stapler and duct tape. I’d probably wear mine to the side, just to mix things up a bit.But the one thing I’d really enjoy this Christmas is relaxed time with my family. I’ll see them, sure, but we always get preoccupied. We’re worried about burning the ham or making sure the right packages go to the right people. And by the time we think we’ve got it all figured out, it’s time to go home. I’m not sure if it’ll happen. It means we’d all have to slow down, be patient and let little things go, but it’s nice to think about.
(12/01/08 5:06am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>This weekend, I realized my grandpa and I have a lot in common. We’ve both aged since we’ve seen each other last. We were both living in my parents’ house – me for the holiday, and him for health reasons. And we both like to sleep. A lot. Sleep’s not something I get a lot of. In the mix of college life, it gets sacrificed. There’s so much else to do.So often I sit, facing the bright computer screen at 11 o’clock at night, its piercing glow glaring in my eyes. My head hurts. My concentration lags. Typing each letter on the keyboard becomes an extreme mental labor. Minutes pass as little gets done. And then, the blessed burst of energy comes. I just get it done and click “Submit.”It’s the struggle we all face.Nationwide surveys indicate that American college students on average get 6 to 6.9 hours of sleep a night. And I might even venture to say that the average might be a little lower at an academically competitive, extracurricular-laced, party-hard college like IU. Yet, scientists assert that teens need about eight hours of sleep each night, which seemed to me to be not only a physical impossibility, but also impractical. I had always thought that, while losing sleep was not helpful to my body, it was ultimately productive. Yes, I’d wake up grumpy and groggy; but, my work would be done. It is worth it. Right?Wrong. I was dreaming. Sometimes, when tasks are piling up around you and the pressure to get everything done seems unbearable, the best thing you can do is sleep. We have to relax our minds, rest our bodies, allow ourselves time to heal. But more important than our physical condition is our individual well-being. When we don’t sleep, it becomes harder and harder to love. Our patience thins. Our ability to empathize diminishes. Our concentration is consumed entirely with thoughts of our own exhaustion. We’re bad friends. A lack of sleep causes us to be short in our interaction, bitter in our thoughts and generally downcast. But with sleep, we don’t even look the same. We’re more considerate, more relaxed, more focused and more optimistic. We’d be better learners. If we all got a few extra hours, there’d be more smiles – and less hoodies, sweatpants and messy buns – on campus. I must clarify, I’m not advocating laziness or procrastination. That’s not the point. The point is prioritizing.We need to consider what really needs to be done. And scheduling our waking hours more effectively could allow us more time to recharge. We need to choose sleep. It’s not easy. I’ll be the first to admit it. But if you need help finding a good place to start, I have just the idea for you. Close the blinds, log off of Facebook, put down the IDS and see if the extra hour can’t make a difference. Sweet dreams.
(11/17/08 1:22am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>A week ago, we observed Veterans Day. Keyword: observed. We recognized it was upon us, paid a brief tribute to those who have served and then promptly moved on. But perhaps we missed something.While patriotic parades meandered down city streets across this country, we found it easy to forget the thousands of veterans who call those same streets home.200,000 Veterans find themselves without a place to sleep each night. Men and women who’ve worn the proud uniform of the United States military and marched under our flag now dress in donated clothes and sleep beneath newspapers. In fact, more than a quarter of our nation’s homeless population once served in the military. Bob Rogers, president of the Indiana Society for Social Work Leadership in Health Care, said about 90 percent of the homeless veterans in our region also struggle with mental health issues and substance abuse.Lacking stability and a strong network of support, people become homeless all-too easily after a family breakdown or the loss of employment. And in this struggling economy, where affordable housing and good jobs have become harder and harder to find, their plight is magnified.Men are especially affected. Comprising 96 percent of the homeless veteran population, men are eligible for little government aid, as most housing money is reserved for homeless families or single mothers. But while many Americans find homelessness heartbreaking, few act. The circumstance, like Veterans Day, is simply observed. We see it and sigh, but that’s all. This is not what our veterans deserve. Regardless of our feelings toward this war, or that war, or war in general, we cannot be ungrateful to those who stood on a line, held a gun and fought in our place. And we cannot honor their past valor – their deeds on a field or on a beach or in a desert or in the sky – without recognizing their present circumstance. Homelessness among veterans is a reality. But it doesn’t need to continue.We can donate our time or our clothing to homeless shelters. We can give our money to post funds established for homeless veterans. We can join local coalitions to combat homelessness and provide for the basic needs of those who fought for our basic right. And, we could take the simple yet profound step of changing our own perception of homelessness.The homeless don’t need our judgment. They’re not there by choice. Nor is their situation a reflection upon their character or intelligence – in fact, 85 percent of homeless veterans completed high school or received a GED, and 89 percent were honorably discharged from the armed services. Their condition is a result of circumstance. And we must always be forgiving. The arms that hold the cardboard sign could once have cradled a close comrade. And those same sad eyes might have seen that best friend slip away. They did their duty. Let’s do ours. To find out how you can help homeless veterans in Indiana, visit www.hvaf.org.
(11/03/08 2:22am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Tuesday, it’s over. The votes will be counted. A new president will be elected. And while half the country rejoices, the other will pout. But have faith. Regardless of who wins, everything will be all right. There’s so much that’s put into a presidential race. Donors give their money. Volunteers give their time. And the candidates give all of themselves – their ideas, their personalities, their families, their pasts – to be praised by their parties, mocked by their opponents and scrutinized by the media.With all the criticism and investigation that modern presidential candidates undergo, it’s a marvel that any smart people still want to run for the office. But miraculously, some do.And this year, we have the choice between two capable individuals. Both possess the credentials to lead this nation. Both want the best for this country, though they might have different visions as to what that means and different ways to get there. And though our choice might seem monumental, though the candidates might seem to be polar opposites, the truth is, at the end of the day, we’re simply electing another human to office. Another fallible human, like us, who’s just as scared of a crashing economy, just as concerned about America’s safety and only slightly more certain as to what to do about it.Throughout this protracted process, it’s been suggested that one candidate might be physically unfit for the job, or that another might not be smart enough for the task. These questions are absurd.Who is smart enough to be president? Is there any individual that possesses all the skills required to lead a country as large and diverse as the United States in this rapidly changing global climate, where nothing’s predictable and all’s uncertain? Is there anyone who is nuanced enough to represent a nation of people proud of their differences yet desirous of unity? Is there one person who’s strong but diplomatic, intelligent and empathetic, decisive yet cautious, steadfast when provoked and patient when pressured?No.Throughout history, there have been some who have been abler than others who’ve made fewer mistakes and implemented more good policies than bad. But none has been perfect. Regardless of who’s been elected, the president has failed.The same will be true for the next administration.Promises will be broken. Programs will falter. Weaknesses will be exposed. Standards will be compromised. Things will get worse for some and better for others. That’s just the way it is.So in this time, when we’re either filled with hope in or overwhelmed with the uncertainty of the future, may we all take on a large measure of understanding and humbleness. May we realize the great weight that comes with the office of president and understand the impossibility of meeting all its challenges. May we treat whomever wins with forgiveness and whomever loses with respect. And may we move on.
(10/20/08 2:23am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>In 1992, a Saturday Night Live sketch changed the world with two lines:“Hey, are you done yet? I’m getting tired of holding it.”“Yeah, that’s what she said.”And so it began.Now, I hear it everywhere.In class, on the way to class, on the bus and at the dinner table.Some revel in the joy of inserting it at that perfect point in conversation, while others actually maneuver dialogue to set up the phrase.It’s a part of our culture. It’s part of my life. But, even though we talk about her so much, do we ever really think about “She”?I mean, did “She” really say that? To whom? Why? Does “She” have a job, or a family? Or is “She” just always having sex? And if that’s the case, why? Is “She” looking for something? Contentment? Fulfillment? Because it seems to me that if “She” is always spending her time doing strange things with strange people, then “She” must be quite lonely.And why doesn’t “She” ever say anything good, positive or uplifting? Does “She” have friends? Someone to talk to when “She” needs answers? I’m afraid not.But enough about “She.”What about us? What does this phrase say about our culture? Why is “She” always an object of our ridicule? Why do we treat “She” as though “She” doesn’t have feelings?This phrase could be dismissed as just another example of crude humor, one of a long line of gross, objectifying jokes shared between friends when they think no one’s listening.It isn’t. It’s not just testosterone-filled college guys or trying-to-be-tough teenage boys that say it. Girls say it, too. It’s become part of our language, and language reflects culture.So when phrases like “That’s what she said” become so ingrained and prevalent, there’s always a deeper reason. And in this case, it would seem that our one-line jest indicates a societal assumption that women exist to please men. To be treated as foolish, submissive mistresses instead of intelligent, valuable equals.Now, of course no one would ever admit to feeling that way. And in all honesty, I don’t think many people do. They just join in the joke, wanting nothing more than to be part of the latest fad.But, we must remember that our words are the most powerful things we have. And we should never waste our breath.When we say things, even in jest, that don’t reflect respect for others, that treat others as less than humans, we hurt ourselves. In the same way that language reflects culture, our speech reflects us. Our words show others what we think and what we believe.When we make promises, we give our word. Last words are recorded in epitaphs. Famous words are printed, preserved on paper for the ages.Let’s quit wasting our words on meaningless, degrading jokes. There’s so much else to say.