What about ‘She’?

In 1992, a Saturday Night Live sketch changed the world with two lines:
“Hey, are you done yet? I’m getting tired of holding it.”

“Yeah, that’s what she said.”

And so it began.

Now, I hear it everywhere.

In class, on the way to class, on the bus and at the dinner table.

Some revel in the joy of inserting it at that perfect point in conversation, while others actually maneuver dialogue to set up the phrase.

It’s a part of our culture. It’s part of my life. But, even though we talk about her so much, do we ever really think about “She”?

I mean, did “She” really say that? To whom? Why? Does “She” have a job, or a family? Or is “She” just always having sex? And if that’s the case, why? Is “She” looking for something? Contentment? Fulfillment? Because it seems to me that if “She” is always spending her time doing strange things with strange people, then “She” must be quite lonely.

And why doesn’t “She” ever say anything good, positive or uplifting? Does “She” have friends? Someone to talk to when “She” needs answers? I’m afraid not.
But enough about “She.”

What about us? What does this phrase say about our culture? Why is “She” always an object of our ridicule? Why do we treat “She” as though “She” doesn’t have feelings?

This phrase could be dismissed as just another example of crude humor, one of a long line of gross, objectifying jokes shared between friends when they think no one’s listening.

It isn’t. It’s not just testosterone-filled college guys or trying-to-be-tough teenage boys that say it. Girls say it, too. It’s become part of our language, and language reflects culture.

So when phrases like “That’s what she said” become so ingrained and prevalent, there’s always a deeper reason. And in this case, it would seem that our one-line jest indicates a societal assumption that women exist to please men. To be treated as foolish, submissive mistresses instead of intelligent, valuable equals.
Now, of course no one would ever admit to feeling that way. And in all honesty, I don’t think many people do. They just join in the joke, wanting nothing more than to be part of the latest fad.

But, we must remember that our words are the most powerful things we have. And we should never waste our breath.

When we say things, even in jest, that don’t reflect respect for others, that treat others as less than humans, we hurt ourselves. In the same way that language reflects culture, our speech reflects us. Our words show others what we think and what we believe.

When we make promises, we give our word. Last words are recorded in epitaphs. Famous words are printed, preserved on paper for the ages.

Let’s quit wasting our words on meaningless, degrading jokes. There’s so much else to say.