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(02/09/06 5:00am)
Finally, a film that tackles the harsh realities of inter-racial love, without all of that pesky insightful social commentary and well written dialogue that really muddied the waters in films like Spike Lee's "Jungle Fever." By forgoing things like social satire and focusing more on things like close-ups of sexy man arms, the makers of "Something New" were able to teach as well as entertain. What is the lesson you ask? Never ask a woman about her weave.\n"Something New" is the story of a black woman, Kenya (Sanaa Lathan), whose uptight demeanor and generally cold disposition towards anything that may upset her carefully constructed life has led to her failure in the dating world. She decides to follow the advice of her girlfriends and "let go and let flow," meaning she will be more open to different kinds of men. Eventually this leads to a blind date with a white guy named Brian (Simon Baker) who she initially rejects because of his race. \nBut when she ends up hiring him as her landscape architect their love blossoms, similarly to the flowers which he plants for her in the garden. This leads to a predictable crescendo as the garden is finally revealed and the two lovers fully accept each other for who they are. The rest of the movie is the part where racial barriers try to destroy the love that the two of them share, but in the end, love conquers all and we are left with the sugary aftertaste of another romantic comedy.\nUndoubtedly, whoever gave this film its moniker was not without a sense of irony, because "Something New" is more or less an hour and a half of poorly executed film clichés. I don't know which were more irksome, the romantic clichés like the wild untamed spirit of one lover bringing out the wild side of the over the top conservative lover, or the racial clichés like the racially biased family who finally comes around in the face of true love. \nNo, actually, I do know which was more irksome, it was the romantic clichés. This movie is labeled a romantic comedy, maybe that is because all of the romantic scenes in this movie are laughable. My personal favorite was when the two flirty, but still unconfirmed lovers, get caught out in the rain which leads to a sexy moist first kiss. Why do couples in romantic movies consistently have to get caught out in the rain in order to realize their love? Apparently something about getting really wet melts even the coldest of hearts. Perhaps the next time a girl isn't interested in me I should spray her with a hose and then kiss her. If Hollywood has taught me anything it is that wet chicks put out. \nAll in all, "Something New" is about par for the course, the predictable romantic comedy course that is. It is completely unoriginal, but it does live up to what it promises.
(02/08/06 5:16pm)
Finally, a film that tackles the harsh realities of inter-racial love, without all of that pesky insightful social commentary and well written dialogue that really muddied the waters in films like Spike Lee's "Jungle Fever." By forgoing things like social satire and focusing more on things like close-ups of sexy man arms, the makers of "Something New" were able to teach as well as entertain. What is the lesson you ask? Never ask a woman about her weave.\n"Something New" is the story of a black woman, Kenya (Sanaa Lathan), whose uptight demeanor and generally cold disposition towards anything that may upset her carefully constructed life has led to her failure in the dating world. She decides to follow the advice of her girlfriends and "let go and let flow," meaning she will be more open to different kinds of men. Eventually this leads to a blind date with a white guy named Brian (Simon Baker) who she initially rejects because of his race. \nBut when she ends up hiring him as her landscape architect their love blossoms, similarly to the flowers which he plants for her in the garden. This leads to a predictable crescendo as the garden is finally revealed and the two lovers fully accept each other for who they are. The rest of the movie is the part where racial barriers try to destroy the love that the two of them share, but in the end, love conquers all and we are left with the sugary aftertaste of another romantic comedy.\nUndoubtedly, whoever gave this film its moniker was not without a sense of irony, because "Something New" is more or less an hour and a half of poorly executed film clichés. I don't know which were more irksome, the romantic clichés like the wild untamed spirit of one lover bringing out the wild side of the over the top conservative lover, or the racial clichés like the racially biased family who finally comes around in the face of true love. \nNo, actually, I do know which was more irksome, it was the romantic clichés. This movie is labeled a romantic comedy, maybe that is because all of the romantic scenes in this movie are laughable. My personal favorite was when the two flirty, but still unconfirmed lovers, get caught out in the rain which leads to a sexy moist first kiss. Why do couples in romantic movies consistently have to get caught out in the rain in order to realize their love? Apparently something about getting really wet melts even the coldest of hearts. Perhaps the next time a girl isn't interested in me I should spray her with a hose and then kiss her. If Hollywood has taught me anything it is that wet chicks put out. \nAll in all, "Something New" is about par for the course, the predictable romantic comedy course that is. It is completely unoriginal, but it does live up to what it promises.
(01/19/06 5:00am)
"Last Holiday" might not seem so bad on the surface, but after closer examination it becomes clear that it is an entity of pure evil. That is the only possible explanation for why a poignant dark comedy staring Alec Guinness ("Bridge over the River Kwai," "Star Wars") would be remade into a honey-dripping, predictable mess staring Queen Latifah ("Chicago," "Barbershop 2"). Who on earth watches Guinness movie and says, "Well this guy is OK, but you know who would be better is a big, fat lady rapper." Clearly, the devil is somehow involved. Then again, I didn't stay through the end credits, so I can't be entirely sure.\n"Last Holiday" is the story of Georgia Byrd (Queen Latifah) who is diagnosed with a terminal illness. She decides she will get together as much money as she can and go on a lavish European vacation, instead of brooding around her home in her dying days. After that, ironically, everything starts to go right. \nShe wins money, makes friends and gets to meet a personal hero of hers, Chef Didier (Gérard Depardieu). And then she learns some life lessons about living life to the fullest and the audience vomits from a cliché overload. I swear they don't even use writers in Hollywood anymore. I think they just have a big script writing machine, powered by the blazing fires of Hades, into which they enter some marginally talented actor's name and then out pops a variation on the same movie we have been presented for the last 10 years. This one even comes complete with an overly enthusiastic love interest (LL Cool J) and a cartoonishly villainous boss (Timothy Hutton).\nUnfortunately, predictable dreck like this is all we can expect for the next couple of months. Most of the good movies were released in December for Oscar consideration and the Summer blockbusters don't start coming until May. Welcome to the cavernous void of entertainment that is January, and what better movie to kick things off than "Last Holiday"
(01/19/06 1:49am)
"Last Holiday" might not seem so bad on the surface, but after closer examination it becomes clear that it is an entity of pure evil. That is the only possible explanation for why a poignant dark comedy staring Alec Guinness ("Bridge over the River Kwai," "Star Wars") would be remade into a honey-dripping, predictable mess staring Queen Latifah ("Chicago," "Barbershop 2"). Who on earth watches Guinness movie and says, "Well this guy is OK, but you know who would be better is a big, fat lady rapper." Clearly, the devil is somehow involved. Then again, I didn't stay through the end credits, so I can't be entirely sure.\n"Last Holiday" is the story of Georgia Byrd (Queen Latifah) who is diagnosed with a terminal illness. She decides she will get together as much money as she can and go on a lavish European vacation, instead of brooding around her home in her dying days. After that, ironically, everything starts to go right. \nShe wins money, makes friends and gets to meet a personal hero of hers, Chef Didier (Gérard Depardieu). And then she learns some life lessons about living life to the fullest and the audience vomits from a cliché overload. I swear they don't even use writers in Hollywood anymore. I think they just have a big script writing machine, powered by the blazing fires of Hades, into which they enter some marginally talented actor's name and then out pops a variation on the same movie we have been presented for the last 10 years. This one even comes complete with an overly enthusiastic love interest (LL Cool J) and a cartoonishly villainous boss (Timothy Hutton).\nUnfortunately, predictable dreck like this is all we can expect for the next couple of months. Most of the good movies were released in December for Oscar consideration and the Summer blockbusters don't start coming until May. Welcome to the cavernous void of entertainment that is January, and what better movie to kick things off than "Last Holiday"
(11/03/05 5:00am)
I believe I might be one of 12 people in the state who have actually read Steve Martin's little-book-that-could, "Shopgirl." It was great, it was funny, it was touching, it was basically impossible to visualize as a film. Still, when I heard Martin was going to write the screenplay himself, I was hopeful. Then when I heard Jimmy Fallon was going to play one of the main characters, things looked dim. Thank goodness he left the project to go make that self-indulgent tripe about how great his favorite baseball team is, "Fever Pitch." Otherwise, Martin may not have been able to turn his little-book-that-could into his little-movie-that-could.\n"Shopgirl" is the story of Mirabelle (Claire Danes), a native of Vermont who moves to L.A. to become an artist. She gets a job selling gloves at a posh Beverly Hills store. In her loneliness, she begins a relationship with an immature graphic designer named Jeremy (Jason Schwartzman). Then she meets Ray Porter (Steve Martin). He is much older, rich, divorced and openly using Mirabelle for sex. The rest of the film focuses on the slightly twisted relationship between Ray and Mirabelle, as Mirabelle must find out for herself whether or not Ray actually loves her.\nMartin's screenplay is good. He had a tough job in adapting his novella, which is mostly narrative text (and vague narrative text at that). However, what really pushes this movie is the acting. Claire Danes is wonderful in the lead role. Look for her to get nominated for at least a Golden Globe. In fact, if this movie sneaks into the comedy section, I wouldn't be surprised if she takes one home. Schwartzman, too, is great. More than once he completely steals the scene away from the two lead actors, sometimes with nothing more than a gesture. If there were any justice in the world, he would get an Oscar nod for Supporting Actor. Unfortunately, there is no justice in the world, and for some reason the MPAA doesn't think being funny counts as acting.\nUnfortunately, right now "Shopgirl" has a limited release, which basically means it's not playing anywhere near Bloomington. But look for a wider release in the coming weeks. When "Shopgirl" does finally reach Bloomington, it's well worth seeing. You'll laugh. You'll cry.You'll utter old tired clichés about movies.
(11/03/05 1:30am)
I believe I might be one of 12 people in the state who have actually read Steve Martin's little-book-that-could, "Shopgirl." It was great, it was funny, it was touching, it was basically impossible to visualize as a film. Still, when I heard Martin was going to write the screenplay himself, I was hopeful. Then when I heard Jimmy Fallon was going to play one of the main characters, things looked dim. Thank goodness he left the project to go make that self-indulgent tripe about how great his favorite baseball team is, "Fever Pitch." Otherwise, Martin may not have been able to turn his little-book-that-could into his little-movie-that-could.\n"Shopgirl" is the story of Mirabelle (Claire Danes), a native of Vermont who moves to L.A. to become an artist. She gets a job selling gloves at a posh Beverly Hills store. In her loneliness, she begins a relationship with an immature graphic designer named Jeremy (Jason Schwartzman). Then she meets Ray Porter (Steve Martin). He is much older, rich, divorced and openly using Mirabelle for sex. The rest of the film focuses on the slightly twisted relationship between Ray and Mirabelle, as Mirabelle must find out for herself whether or not Ray actually loves her.\nMartin's screenplay is good. He had a tough job in adapting his novella, which is mostly narrative text (and vague narrative text at that). However, what really pushes this movie is the acting. Claire Danes is wonderful in the lead role. Look for her to get nominated for at least a Golden Globe. In fact, if this movie sneaks into the comedy section, I wouldn't be surprised if she takes one home. Schwartzman, too, is great. More than once he completely steals the scene away from the two lead actors, sometimes with nothing more than a gesture. If there were any justice in the world, he would get an Oscar nod for Supporting Actor. Unfortunately, there is no justice in the world, and for some reason the MPAA doesn't think being funny counts as acting.\nUnfortunately, right now "Shopgirl" has a limited release, which basically means it's not playing anywhere near Bloomington. But look for a wider release in the coming weeks. When "Shopgirl" does finally reach Bloomington, it's well worth seeing. You'll laugh. You'll cry.You'll utter old tired clichés about movies.
(10/27/05 4:00am)
"Stay" is a perfect example of a movie that values style over storyline. The dialogue is stilted, the ending is a cop out and the story has plot holes big enough to drive a fleet of Mack trucks through. And yet, this movie still holds your attention with bizarre imagery, wonderful editing and strangely blended shots that create the perfect dreamlike feel director Marc Forster ("Monster's Ball," "Finding Neverland") was going for.\n"Stay" is the story of Henry Letham (Ryan Gosling), an NYU student with some strange supernatural powers. Most of the movie revolves around Henry's psychiatrist, Sam Foster (Ewan McGregor), trying to stop Henry from committing suicide. Sam runs into Henry's dead parents (and dog), not to mention extreme bouts with déjà vu, along the way. Eventually it becomes clear Henry is somehow exerting control over the world. And then this surreal and imaginative movie culminates in the biggest wet fart of an ending that has ever been committed to film. \nI will refrain from revealing the pointless twist, which really only serves as a half-assed explanation for the remarkable style of the film, but I will say you'll be disappointed and possibly angry. The ending makes no sense on any level other than the completely superficial and, once you start examining it, it falls apart very quickly. And yet the movie still maintains its brilliance. It's remarkable how a great director like Marc Forster can take a shitty script from a hackneyed writer like David Benioff ("Troy," "25th Hour"), and turn it into something entirely enjoyable and worthy of multiple viewings. I implore you, if you go see this movie, when the big reveal comes at the end and you feel like throwing rotten tomatoes at the screen, keep in mind how great the previous 90 minutes of the film had been, and you'll leave the theater satisfied.
(10/27/05 1:40am)
"Stay" is a perfect example of a movie that values style over storyline. The dialogue is stilted, the ending is a cop out and the story has plot holes big enough to drive a fleet of Mack trucks through. And yet, this movie still holds your attention with bizarre imagery, wonderful editing and strangely blended shots that create the perfect dreamlike feel director Marc Forster ("Monster's Ball," "Finding Neverland") was going for.\n"Stay" is the story of Henry Letham (Ryan Gosling), an NYU student with some strange supernatural powers. Most of the movie revolves around Henry's psychiatrist, Sam Foster (Ewan McGregor), trying to stop Henry from committing suicide. Sam runs into Henry's dead parents (and dog), not to mention extreme bouts with déjà vu, along the way. Eventually it becomes clear Henry is somehow exerting control over the world. And then this surreal and imaginative movie culminates in the biggest wet fart of an ending that has ever been committed to film. \nI will refrain from revealing the pointless twist, which really only serves as a half-assed explanation for the remarkable style of the film, but I will say you'll be disappointed and possibly angry. The ending makes no sense on any level other than the completely superficial and, once you start examining it, it falls apart very quickly. And yet the movie still maintains its brilliance. It's remarkable how a great director like Marc Forster can take a shitty script from a hackneyed writer like David Benioff ("Troy," "25th Hour"), and turn it into something entirely enjoyable and worthy of multiple viewings. I implore you, if you go see this movie, when the big reveal comes at the end and you feel like throwing rotten tomatoes at the screen, keep in mind how great the previous 90 minutes of the film had been, and you'll leave the theater satisfied.
(10/20/05 4:00am)
Man, do I hate Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst. And not just in a cute, pouting kind of way. Whenever I see either one of them I have the overwhelming desire to throw my shoe at the T.V./movie screen/billboard. If ever you read the headline "Bloom attacked with loafer," chances are it was me. That is why it is so amazing that Cameron Crowe ("Almost Famous," "Vanilla Sky") was able to make an enjoyable movie starring both of them. Yet that is what "Elizabethtown" is, maybe not as great as his past efforts, but still worth a trip to the theater.\n"Elizabethtown" is the story of young corporate ladder climber, Drew Baylor (Bloom), who gets fired from a large Oregon shoe company named after the Greek god Mercury (hmm, what subtle satire) when his newest creation loses the company close to a billion dollars. Then, just as he hits his lowest, he finds out his father has died, and he must go to his father's hometown in Kentucky to deal with the aftermath. On the flight he meets a precariously friendly flight attendant named Claire Colburn (Dunst) who, despite Drew's best efforts, is determined to have a conversation. After meeting his eccentric southern relatives, Drew is desperate for a conversation and he finds Claire's number on the back of a set of directions that she gave him. As the two confide in each other over the course of the film, a love affair develops, which gives Drew new hope for his life.\nLike many of Crowe's films, "Elizabethtown" is emotional without collapsing into a sappy saccharine mess. By including his own wry sense of humor in the dialogue, he is able to write a cute love story without making the audience want to vomit honey. Although I would like to say that I find the idea of a kind attractive flight attendant laughable. The most meaningful conversation I've ever had with a stewardess was over whether or not she had given me any silverware with my meal (as if I'm secretly hoarding plastic forks and little packets of salt). \nAlso, if you have ever seen a Cameron Crowe film before, then you are no doubt familiar with his prolific use of music almost to the point of giving it a co-starring role in his films. Some of the most memorable moments in his films are centered around music, for example I still can't hear Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" without imagining John Cusack holding a stereo over his head. "Elizabethtown" is no exception. Without giving too much away I will just say that I will no longer be able to listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Freebird" with a straight face.\nHowever, there is one major problem with this film, and that is the abundance of abandoned and underdeveloped story points. For instance -- we never quite know what went wrong with Drew's infamous shoe design. Also, what takes place toward the end of the film, while interesting and poignant, seems to be superfluous to the actual story, and provides a somewhat weak ending to an otherwise strong film.
(10/20/05 2:33am)
Man, do I hate Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst. And not just in a cute, pouting kind of way. Whenever I see either one of them I have the overwhelming desire to throw my shoe at the T.V./movie screen/billboard. If ever you read the headline "Bloom attacked with loafer," chances are it was me. That is why it is so amazing that Cameron Crowe ("Almost Famous," "Vanilla Sky") was able to make an enjoyable movie starring both of them. Yet that is what "Elizabethtown" is, maybe not as great as his past efforts, but still worth a trip to the theater.\n"Elizabethtown" is the story of young corporate ladder climber, Drew Baylor (Bloom), who gets fired from a large Oregon shoe company named after the Greek god Mercury (hmm, what subtle satire) when his newest creation loses the company close to a billion dollars. Then, just as he hits his lowest, he finds out his father has died, and he must go to his father's hometown in Kentucky to deal with the aftermath. On the flight he meets a precariously friendly flight attendant named Claire Colburn (Dunst) who, despite Drew's best efforts, is determined to have a conversation. After meeting his eccentric southern relatives, Drew is desperate for a conversation and he finds Claire's number on the back of a set of directions that she gave him. As the two confide in each other over the course of the film, a love affair develops, which gives Drew new hope for his life.\nLike many of Crowe's films, "Elizabethtown" is emotional without collapsing into a sappy saccharine mess. By including his own wry sense of humor in the dialogue, he is able to write a cute love story without making the audience want to vomit honey. Although I would like to say that I find the idea of a kind attractive flight attendant laughable. The most meaningful conversation I've ever had with a stewardess was over whether or not she had given me any silverware with my meal (as if I'm secretly hoarding plastic forks and little packets of salt). \nAlso, if you have ever seen a Cameron Crowe film before, then you are no doubt familiar with his prolific use of music almost to the point of giving it a co-starring role in his films. Some of the most memorable moments in his films are centered around music, for example I still can't hear Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" without imagining John Cusack holding a stereo over his head. "Elizabethtown" is no exception. Without giving too much away I will just say that I will no longer be able to listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Freebird" with a straight face.\nHowever, there is one major problem with this film, and that is the abundance of abandoned and underdeveloped story points. For instance -- we never quite know what went wrong with Drew's infamous shoe design. Also, what takes place toward the end of the film, while interesting and poignant, seems to be superfluous to the actual story, and provides a somewhat weak ending to an otherwise strong film.
(10/13/05 4:00am)
As you may have guessed from the title, "The Gospel" is a movie about church. But not the stuffy old church you went to as a kid, this is a rockin' happenin' church where they dance and play the electric guitar. Finally, a movie about how cool it is to go to church... Wait, I mean, who was the idiot that thought it would be a good idea to make a movie about how cool it is to go to church? Now maybe it's just me, but no matter how many flag girls with sequin jumpsuits you put on stage, I would still rather spend my Sundays sleeping in and watching football (or in the off-season just sleeping in some more).\n"The Gospel" is an allegorical retelling of the parable of the prodigal son. Here the prodigal son is a wildly successful R & B singer named David Taylor (Boris Kodjoe). David forsakes the church just before he becomes a minister, and falls into the moral void that is popular music. David eventually returns when his estranged father, the bishop Fred Taylor (Clifton Powell), grows ill. While home, David must confront his past while trying to help save his father's church. All the while, he is falling in love with a member of the choir, Rain (Tamyra Gray of American Idol fame).\nThe story is pretty weak, and it's made weaker by the fact that it's constantly interrupted by long montages set to Gospel music. Besides, the church is in economic trouble and someone steps in and saves the day with music, but that plot was already used by Bing Crosby's "Going My Way." That movie amounted to more than a 90-minute gospel music video, which is honestly all this movie amounts to.\nThe acting is actually quite good. Everyone in the cast plays their parts well, particularly Omar Gooding who plays David's manager. However, I will have to say that the entire time he was on screen I was trying to remember where he was from, then about half way through I remembered and got some dirty looks as I yelled out "Wild and Crazy Kids" during a funeral scene. Even Tamyra Gray is pretty good as Rain. She is easily the best actor to come out of "American Idol" (although I hear Ruben Studdard makes a great Othello). \nOverall, this movie is about as exciting as sitting through church. So if that sounds like a great time to you, then by all means rush to the theaters to see this one. However, to all the other godless heathens out there like me, this is probably not the best choice on a Saturday night.
(10/13/05 2:16am)
As you may have guessed from the title, "The Gospel" is a movie about church. But not the stuffy old church you went to as a kid, this is a rockin' happenin' church where they dance and play the electric guitar. Finally, a movie about how cool it is to go to church... Wait, I mean, who was the idiot that thought it would be a good idea to make a movie about how cool it is to go to church? Now maybe it's just me, but no matter how many flag girls with sequin jumpsuits you put on stage, I would still rather spend my Sundays sleeping in and watching football (or in the off-season just sleeping in some more).\n"The Gospel" is an allegorical retelling of the parable of the prodigal son. Here the prodigal son is a wildly successful R & B singer named David Taylor (Boris Kodjoe). David forsakes the church just before he becomes a minister, and falls into the moral void that is popular music. David eventually returns when his estranged father, the bishop Fred Taylor (Clifton Powell), grows ill. While home, David must confront his past while trying to help save his father's church. All the while, he is falling in love with a member of the choir, Rain (Tamyra Gray of American Idol fame).\nThe story is pretty weak, and it's made weaker by the fact that it's constantly interrupted by long montages set to Gospel music. Besides, the church is in economic trouble and someone steps in and saves the day with music, but that plot was already used by Bing Crosby's "Going My Way." That movie amounted to more than a 90-minute gospel music video, which is honestly all this movie amounts to.\nThe acting is actually quite good. Everyone in the cast plays their parts well, particularly Omar Gooding who plays David's manager. However, I will have to say that the entire time he was on screen I was trying to remember where he was from, then about half way through I remembered and got some dirty looks as I yelled out "Wild and Crazy Kids" during a funeral scene. Even Tamyra Gray is pretty good as Rain. She is easily the best actor to come out of "American Idol" (although I hear Ruben Studdard makes a great Othello). \nOverall, this movie is about as exciting as sitting through church. So if that sounds like a great time to you, then by all means rush to the theaters to see this one. However, to all the other godless heathens out there like me, this is probably not the best choice on a Saturday night.
(09/15/05 9:28pm)
An Unfinished Life" is the newest emotionally charged (perhaps overcharged) drama from Lasse Hallström ("The Cider House Rules," "Chocolat"). It is the story of Jean Gilkyson (Jennifer Lopez) who, in an attempt to escape an abusive relationship, flees to Montana with her daughter Griff (Becca Gardener). Once there they stay with her estranged father-in-law Einar Gilkyson (Robert Redford), who blames Jean for the death of his son. Also appearing is Morgan Freeman in his usual role as the sage-like best friend who has lived through some sort of tragedy (in this case being mauled by a bear). Ultimately, it is a story of dealing with loss and forgiving others as well as yourself (or at least that's what it says on the movie poster). \nThe story is pretty good although a bit heavy-handed at times. It is a bit much that every single minor character has some sort of tragic tale of loss that deals directly with the main plotline. Camryn Manheim's monologue about the death of her own child was a bit much, and it came out of nowhere. Also, Freeman's obsession with helping the bear that mauled him was, to say the least, silly. The symbolism of the bear was a bit ostentatious, and some times it seemed like the appearance of the bear should have been accompanied by the word "Metaphor" flashing across the screen with big red letters. But the only thing that truly got to be a bit much was the film score, which made use of the dramatic violin sting the way that sitcoms make use of the laugh track. Luckily the acting saved this movie. Redford was great in the lead and his chemistry with both Freeman and Gardener was great. In fact, the most memorable scenes in the movie are between the three of them. Even JLo put in a good performance, although she admittedly has a smaller part than one would expect since she's the biggest name in the cast. \nSadly, this movie is being touted as this year's big Oscar push by Miramax, and while the acting is good, it is definitely not that good. Unless Hollywood takes a three-month vacation, there is no chance of this film seeing even a nomination unless they add the category "Best Use of Large Woodland Creatures in an Allegory about Redemption"
(09/15/05 4:00am)
An Unfinished Life" is the newest emotionally charged (perhaps overcharged) drama from Lasse Hallström ("The Cider House Rules," "Chocolat"). It is the story of Jean Gilkyson (Jennifer Lopez) who, in an attempt to escape an abusive relationship, flees to Montana with her daughter Griff (Becca Gardener). Once there they stay with her estranged father-in-law Einar Gilkyson (Robert Redford), who blames Jean for the death of his son. Also appearing is Morgan Freeman in his usual role as the sage-like best friend who has lived through some sort of tragedy (in this case being mauled by a bear). Ultimately, it is a story of dealing with loss and forgiving others as well as yourself (or at least that's what it says on the movie poster). \nThe story is pretty good although a bit heavy-handed at times. It is a bit much that every single minor character has some sort of tragic tale of loss that deals directly with the main plotline. Camryn Manheim's monologue about the death of her own child was a bit much, and it came out of nowhere. Also, Freeman's obsession with helping the bear that mauled him was, to say the least, silly. The symbolism of the bear was a bit ostentatious, and some times it seemed like the appearance of the bear should have been accompanied by the word "Metaphor" flashing across the screen with big red letters. But the only thing that truly got to be a bit much was the film score, which made use of the dramatic violin sting the way that sitcoms make use of the laugh track. Luckily the acting saved this movie. Redford was great in the lead and his chemistry with both Freeman and Gardener was great. In fact, the most memorable scenes in the movie are between the three of them. Even JLo put in a good performance, although she admittedly has a smaller part than one would expect since she's the biggest name in the cast. \nSadly, this movie is being touted as this year's big Oscar push by Miramax, and while the acting is good, it is definitely not that good. Unless Hollywood takes a three-month vacation, there is no chance of this film seeing even a nomination unless they add the category "Best Use of Large Woodland Creatures in an Allegory about Redemption"
(08/04/05 4:00am)
What do you get if you take HAL 9000, put him in a really fast plane, and blow a bunch of crap up in lieu of a plot? You get "Stealth," the newest, brainless action flick by Rob Cohen ("xXx," "The Fast and the Furious"). The bottom line is if you are prepared to abandon all logic, intelligence and good taste, then this movie truly begins to flourish in its resplendent idiocy. And in a weird "Huh huh, they blowed it up real good" kind of way almost becomes enjoyable. On the other hand, if you are unable to get past gaping plot holes and stilted dialogue then maybe this isn't the movie for you.\n"Stealth" is the story of an elite team of pilots played by Jamie Foxx ("Ray"), Jessica Biel ("Blade: Trinity") and Josh Lucas ("Sweet Home Alabama"). These pilots make up some sort of anti-terrorist squad, but of course it is never quite explained how three jets going Mach 2 are going to be an effective tool against a terrorist riding a pack mule. But then again the movie also features a satellite that can analyze fingerprints from orbit, so it is best not to think while watching this movie. The three pilots are joined by a jet piloted by a computer named EDI whose creators outfitted it with hyper-intelligence but not a surge protector. EDI goes haywire after being hit by a bolt of lightning. The computer then goes on a renegade mission to destroy something in Russia -- that is never quite explained -- and the pilots have to bring it down before it starts World War III.\nAt this point logic takes a vacation. In the second half of this movie one of the pilots makes friends with the computer as they team up to take down an evil Naval officer who teaches an even more evil politician what it is to be a soldier by killing himself. All the while, Jessica Biel is trying to escape from an evil North Korean death squad that has no desire to capture the American soldier, only shoot her or blow her up for what reason I can't quite gather. Throw in copious amounts of explosions and a love story that is about as useful to the plot as running shoes are to a fish, and you have that little slice of heaven that I call "Stealth."\nPossibly the greatest thing about this movie is the abundance of unresolved story points. For example, they destroy Russian airplanes, blow up a large section of the North Korean demilitarized zone and detonate a nuclear weapon in a populated section of Tajikistan, and yet none of these politically catastrophic events are even alluded to after they occur.\nThis movie has the weakest plot imaginable and very little going for it aside from a bunch of pointless special effects and stuff gettin' blown up. On the other hand, if that is what you are in the mood for, then you could do a lot worse than "Stealth." Well, not a lot worse.
(08/04/05 1:43am)
What do you get if you take HAL 9000, put him in a really fast plane, and blow a bunch of crap up in lieu of a plot? You get "Stealth," the newest, brainless action flick by Rob Cohen ("xXx," "The Fast and the Furious"). The bottom line is if you are prepared to abandon all logic, intelligence and good taste, then this movie truly begins to flourish in its resplendent idiocy. And in a weird "Huh huh, they blowed it up real good" kind of way almost becomes enjoyable. On the other hand, if you are unable to get past gaping plot holes and stilted dialogue then maybe this isn't the movie for you.\n"Stealth" is the story of an elite team of pilots played by Jamie Foxx ("Ray"), Jessica Biel ("Blade: Trinity") and Josh Lucas ("Sweet Home Alabama"). These pilots make up some sort of anti-terrorist squad, but of course it is never quite explained how three jets going Mach 2 are going to be an effective tool against a terrorist riding a pack mule. But then again the movie also features a satellite that can analyze fingerprints from orbit, so it is best not to think while watching this movie. The three pilots are joined by a jet piloted by a computer named EDI whose creators outfitted it with hyper-intelligence but not a surge protector. EDI goes haywire after being hit by a bolt of lightning. The computer then goes on a renegade mission to destroy something in Russia -- that is never quite explained -- and the pilots have to bring it down before it starts World War III.\nAt this point logic takes a vacation. In the second half of this movie one of the pilots makes friends with the computer as they team up to take down an evil Naval officer who teaches an even more evil politician what it is to be a soldier by killing himself. All the while, Jessica Biel is trying to escape from an evil North Korean death squad that has no desire to capture the American soldier, only shoot her or blow her up for what reason I can't quite gather. Throw in copious amounts of explosions and a love story that is about as useful to the plot as running shoes are to a fish, and you have that little slice of heaven that I call "Stealth."\nPossibly the greatest thing about this movie is the abundance of unresolved story points. For example, they destroy Russian airplanes, blow up a large section of the North Korean demilitarized zone and detonate a nuclear weapon in a populated section of Tajikistan, and yet none of these politically catastrophic events are even alluded to after they occur.\nThis movie has the weakest plot imaginable and very little going for it aside from a bunch of pointless special effects and stuff gettin' blown up. On the other hand, if that is what you are in the mood for, then you could do a lot worse than "Stealth." Well, not a lot worse.
(07/28/05 4:00am)
"Constantine" is the story of supernatural detective John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) who serves as the ballast in a war between heaven and hell. Angels and demons are fighting for the souls of every human on Earth with one major rule: no direct contact, only influence. If they break this rule, Constantine destroys them with his arsenal of holy water, scarabs and golden bullets. Eventually, he lends his services to a police officer Angela Dodsen (Rachel Weisz) who is trying to solve the mysterious suicide of her twin sister. Together they uncover a conspiracy of biblical proportions (sorry, I couldn't resist). \n"Constantine" delivers everything that you would expect out of it: a dark storyline, lots of CG and some bad acting from Keanu Reeves. Of course you can't rate Keanu Reeves like you rate other actors, you have to put him on his own scale. I call this scale the Keanu Crapometer. The scale goes from one to ten, ten being "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" and one being "Johnny Mnemonic." And on the Keanu Crapometer his performance in this film rates about a five (let's call that "Speed" territory). He was bad, but not gut-wrenchingly so, which is an accomplishment for him. But you still have to wonder why people are still putting him in movies.\nThe writing is so-so, it has its share of crappy one liners ("This is Constantine. John Constantine. Asshole."), but it also has a couple good ones as well ("Who's the rabbit in the dress now, bitch?"). Actually, one of the biggest problems with this movie, aside from casting Keanu Reeves in the title role, was that they underused Constantine's sidekick Chas (played surprisingly well by Shia LaBeouf of 'Even Stevens'). LaBeouf was by far the best thing in this movie, and I am surprised they didn't put him in more scenes.\nHowever, like the movie or not, they certainly knew what they were doing with this DVD. It has tons of special features, and unlike most DVDs, it has tons of special features that are worth watching. It has director commentary, it has several featurettes on the making of the movie, and it even comes with a copy of the comic book on which the movie is based. If you liked this movie then there is absolutely no reason not to buy this DVD, if you didn't like the movie, convince one of you're more gullible friends to buy it so that you can at least read the comic book.
(07/27/05 10:09pm)
"Constantine" is the story of supernatural detective John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) who serves as the ballast in a war between heaven and hell. Angels and demons are fighting for the souls of every human on Earth with one major rule: no direct contact, only influence. If they break this rule, Constantine destroys them with his arsenal of holy water, scarabs and golden bullets. Eventually, he lends his services to a police officer Angela Dodsen (Rachel Weisz) who is trying to solve the mysterious suicide of her twin sister. Together they uncover a conspiracy of biblical proportions (sorry, I couldn't resist). \n"Constantine" delivers everything that you would expect out of it: a dark storyline, lots of CG and some bad acting from Keanu Reeves. Of course you can't rate Keanu Reeves like you rate other actors, you have to put him on his own scale. I call this scale the Keanu Crapometer. The scale goes from one to ten, ten being "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" and one being "Johnny Mnemonic." And on the Keanu Crapometer his performance in this film rates about a five (let's call that "Speed" territory). He was bad, but not gut-wrenchingly so, which is an accomplishment for him. But you still have to wonder why people are still putting him in movies.\nThe writing is so-so, it has its share of crappy one liners ("This is Constantine. John Constantine. Asshole."), but it also has a couple good ones as well ("Who's the rabbit in the dress now, bitch?"). Actually, one of the biggest problems with this movie, aside from casting Keanu Reeves in the title role, was that they underused Constantine's sidekick Chas (played surprisingly well by Shia LaBeouf of 'Even Stevens'). LaBeouf was by far the best thing in this movie, and I am surprised they didn't put him in more scenes.\nHowever, like the movie or not, they certainly knew what they were doing with this DVD. It has tons of special features, and unlike most DVDs, it has tons of special features that are worth watching. It has director commentary, it has several featurettes on the making of the movie, and it even comes with a copy of the comic book on which the movie is based. If you liked this movie then there is absolutely no reason not to buy this DVD, if you didn't like the movie, convince one of you're more gullible friends to buy it so that you can at least read the comic book.
(07/21/05 4:00am)
"Million Dollar Baby" won the 2005 Oscar for Best Picture and it won the old fashion way: by actually being the best picture the year that it was released. Wow, how refreshing. \n"Million Dollar Baby" is the story of boxing trainer Frankie Dunn (Clint Eastwood), who, after a good deal of coercion, takes on a 31-year-old female boxer, Maggie Fitzgerald (Hilary Swank). The movie pulls in wonderful performances from both Swank and Eastwood, as well as from Morgan Freeman for his role as boxer-turned-janitor Eddie "Scrap-Iron" Dupris who narrates the film. Freeman and Swank both won Oscars for their performances (Swank's second), and Eastwood won the Oscar for Best Director (his second as well).\nThis raises an interesting question. When did Clint Eastwood go from being a niche actor to being one of the most important filmmakers in Hollywood? If somebody back in the 70's would have said Dirty Harry would win two Oscars for his directing prowess, the response would have been, "Yeah right and I suppose the red-head kid from 'Happy Days' will win one too?"\nThe DVD comes with two discs, one for the movie and one for the special features. I am not really sure why they needed two discs though, since all that is on the special features disc is two 15-minute featurettes and an episode of "Inside the Actor's Studio" featuring Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman and Hilary Swank (which incidentally is worth watching for the James Lipton ass-kissing if for no other reason). The first disc doesn't have any special features, not even a commentary track. There really doesn't seem to be any reason whatsoever that they couldn't fit the special features onto the first disc.\nThen again, this movie is so great that it doesn't even need special features to justify buying the DVD. Every aspect of this film from the script to the acting is almost perfect. And with this film, Clint Eastwood firmly establishes himself as one of the most important directors in Hollywood.
(07/20/05 9:04pm)
"Million Dollar Baby" won the 2005 Oscar for Best Picture and it won the old fashion way: by actually being the best picture the year that it was released. Wow, how refreshing. \n"Million Dollar Baby" is the story of boxing trainer Frankie Dunn (Clint Eastwood), who, after a good deal of coercion, takes on a 31-year-old female boxer, Maggie Fitzgerald (Hilary Swank). The movie pulls in wonderful performances from both Swank and Eastwood, as well as from Morgan Freeman for his role as boxer-turned-janitor Eddie "Scrap-Iron" Dupris who narrates the film. Freeman and Swank both won Oscars for their performances (Swank's second), and Eastwood won the Oscar for Best Director (his second as well).\nThis raises an interesting question. When did Clint Eastwood go from being a niche actor to being one of the most important filmmakers in Hollywood? If somebody back in the 70's would have said Dirty Harry would win two Oscars for his directing prowess, the response would have been, "Yeah right and I suppose the red-head kid from 'Happy Days' will win one too?"\nThe DVD comes with two discs, one for the movie and one for the special features. I am not really sure why they needed two discs though, since all that is on the special features disc is two 15-minute featurettes and an episode of "Inside the Actor's Studio" featuring Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman and Hilary Swank (which incidentally is worth watching for the James Lipton ass-kissing if for no other reason). The first disc doesn't have any special features, not even a commentary track. There really doesn't seem to be any reason whatsoever that they couldn't fit the special features onto the first disc.\nThen again, this movie is so great that it doesn't even need special features to justify buying the DVD. Every aspect of this film from the script to the acting is almost perfect. And with this film, Clint Eastwood firmly establishes himself as one of the most important directors in Hollywood.