Stealth: 'A bunch of crap'

What do you get if you take HAL 9000, put him in a really fast plane, and blow a bunch of crap up in lieu of a plot? You get "Stealth," the newest, brainless action flick by Rob Cohen ("xXx," "The Fast and the Furious"). The bottom line is if you are prepared to abandon all logic, intelligence and good taste, then this movie truly begins to flourish in its resplendent idiocy. And in a weird "Huh huh, they blowed it up real good" kind of way almost becomes enjoyable. On the other hand, if you are unable to get past gaping plot holes and stilted dialogue then maybe this isn't the movie for you.\n"Stealth" is the story of an elite team of pilots played by Jamie Foxx ("Ray"), Jessica Biel ("Blade: Trinity") and Josh Lucas ("Sweet Home Alabama"). These pilots make up some sort of anti-terrorist squad, but of course it is never quite explained how three jets going Mach 2 are going to be an effective tool against a terrorist riding a pack mule. But then again the movie also features a satellite that can analyze fingerprints from orbit, so it is best not to think while watching this movie. The three pilots are joined by a jet piloted by a computer named EDI whose creators outfitted it with hyper-intelligence but not a surge protector. EDI goes haywire after being hit by a bolt of lightning. The computer then goes on a renegade mission to destroy something in Russia -- that is never quite explained -- and the pilots have to bring it down before it starts World War III.\nAt this point logic takes a vacation. In the second half of this movie one of the pilots makes friends with the computer as they team up to take down an evil Naval officer who teaches an even more evil politician what it is to be a soldier by killing himself. All the while, Jessica Biel is trying to escape from an evil North Korean death squad that has no desire to capture the American soldier, only shoot her or blow her up for what reason I can't quite gather. Throw in copious amounts of explosions and a love story that is about as useful to the plot as running shoes are to a fish, and you have that little slice of heaven that I call "Stealth."\nPossibly the greatest thing about this movie is the abundance of unresolved story points. For example, they destroy Russian airplanes, blow up a large section of the North Korean demilitarized zone and detonate a nuclear weapon in a populated section of Tajikistan, and yet none of these politically catastrophic events are even alluded to after they occur.\nThis movie has the weakest plot imaginable and very little going for it aside from a bunch of pointless special effects and stuff gettin' blown up. On the other hand, if that is what you are in the mood for, then you could do a lot worse than "Stealth." Well, not a lot worse.