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(06/25/07 12:15am)
Last Wednesday, former Indiana Pacer and current Golden State Warrior Stephen Jackson pleaded guilty to a felony count of criminal recklessness and was assigned to 100 hours of community service. Jackson will fulfill his community service hours at a local community center called the Christamore House just west of downtown Indianapolis. Christamore’s director, Olgen Williams, “will ensure that Mr. Jackson performs his community hours doing work of cleaning, of painting, whatever it is he has to do as opposed to helping youths play basketball, something he enjoys doing.”
(06/21/07 4:00am)
Nicolas Cage sold his soul all right. But it wasn't in exchange for a good movie.\n"Ghost Rider" is based on the story of Marvel comic character Johnny Blaze (Cage), who strikes a deal with the devil in order to save his dying father. But when the the devil doublecrosses Johnny, and his father dies in a motorcycle exhibition accident, Johnny devotes his efforts to young sweetheart Roxanne Simpson (Eva Mendes). With the help of the Caretaker (Sam Elliott), Blaze tries to win his soul back so he can spend he rest of his life with Roxanne.\nIt's a shame that such an undeniably interesting story was turned into a butchered movie. "Ghost Rider" was too long (about 2 hours) and the plot didn't unfold fast enough. It took over an hour for Cage to realize he was the ghost rider, and Mendes didn't have nearly a big enough role. She appeared in scattered scenes throughout the movie, which is not enough for someone of her caliber. The movie also lacked enough good action sequences.\nWhat saved "Ghost Rider" from being a complete waste were the Caretaker and the overall message of the story. Sam Elliott gave a beautiful performance, playing the insightful cowboy who occasionally throws in a good joke or two. And you can't knock Blaze for trying to save his dad. Selling a soul for love instead of greed is different from the norm, and and the ending put the story together beautifully. But it was way too dragged out, and keeping the movie playing until the end is a challenge.\nAlso, you would think that a DVD with a second disc devoted entirely to extras would be worth checking out -- but don't waste your time. There are three "making of the movie" segments, but one of them is just the animation with music and no insight from the director or producer. The director's commentary was fairly insightful, but watching the movie once was painful enough, let alone watching it again with a discussion of how the ideas came about.\nDon't waste your time on this Marvel mistake.
(06/20/07 11:59pm)
Not many people can say they’ve won four NBA Championships. It’s a pretty short list, but it includes some the NBA’s greatest contributors. The list includes names such as Michael Jordan, Shaquille O’Neal, Robert Horry, Tim Duncan and Will Sevening.\nWait. Will Sevening? Who?\nSevening is the San Antonio Spurs’ head athletic trainer, a position he has held for nine seasons, four of which culminated in NBA Championships – the latest being last week.\nBut unless you are a diehard Spurs fan or a family friend of the Sevenings, you wouldn’t know that. You wouldn’t know who he is, what he does or how healthy he’s kept his teams for the past nine years.\nHis isn’t the name being thrown around on SportsCenter or being discussed on message boards across the globe regarding the Spurs last NBA Championship either. \nBut maybe it should be. That’s because without Sevening’s work, the Spurs would go nowhere. Literally.\nOne of Wisconsin-LaCrosse grad Sevening’s many jobs is coordinating the team’s travel plans. Once he gets the schedule, he sits down and plans the details of every trip, from plane and bus schedules to hotel rooms.\nAnd during the games, he keeps track of fouls and timeouts. \nOh yeah. He does all the medical stuff, too. \nBut he doesn’t get the media hype and attention he deserves, and he doesn’t seem to care. He feels fortunate to have such a sought-after job.\n“There are only 30 of these jobs,” Sevening said. “And I have one of them.”\nAnd he deserves the position. He is one of the best in the business. But his skill didn’t just come from the Alamo. He learned from one of the best.\nBefore Sevening landed the Spurs job, he was the assistant athletic trainer for the Indiana Pacers under former head athletic trainer David Craig. Craig acted as a mentor to Sevening and helped him become the trainer he is today.\n“David is one of the best around,” Sevening said. “I came to my own philosophy (that) I use with the Spurs from what I learned from David.”\nAnd the philosophy works. Four NBA championships can’t be won without a healthy team and that has been Sevening’s contribution.\n“Each one of our runs we have been very healthy,” he said. “If you aren’t healthy, you don’t go anywhere in the playoffs.”\nSevening added that part of his team’s good health can be attributed to luck. I’m here to tell you that you don’t get lucky four times in nine years without doing something right to help that luck.\nSportsCenter will show you Tim Duncan winning those four titles, but I’m here to tell you it goes beyond that. A team goes beyond what the media displays. A team even goes beyond the 15 players on the roster. The team is the whole organization.\nAs the saying goes, the whole is only as great as the sum of its parts.\nAnd Sevening is a major part, whether you know it or not.
(06/17/07 8:58pm)
It was a real life Monopoly game. Paris Hilton was put in jail for violating probation on drunk driving the car playing-piece. Then she landed on Daddy’s community chest and got a “Get Out of Jail Free” card – at least for a day.\nThen she rolled double fives twice and landed herself right back in jail. And rightfully so.\nSince the publicity spectacle ended on her trip back to jail, what does the ever-popular media diva do to stay popular on the outside while locked up in the inside? \nShe does an interview with Barbara Walters.\nSo here I am, ready to interpret from an intellectual standpoint the insightful quotes from the Walters-Paris interview.\nThe interview started with the basic “how are you” question, which Paris answered simply by saying, “I feel as if I’m a different person. I’ve dropped my appeal. I don’t want to cause any more problems.”\nNo more problems from Paris? What is E! going to cover? What am I going to write about? Don’t do this to us, Paris!\nNext she talked about why she was medically released. She said, “I was not eating or sleeping. I was severely depressed and felt as if I was in a cage.”\nUm ... duh, stupid. Prison is supposed to feel like a cage. That’s the point of being locked up. But more importantly, when did Paris start eating?\nHowever, Paris has changed. Prison is making her a new woman.\n“I’m not the same person I was,” she said. “I used to act dumb. It was an act. I am 26 years old, and that act is no longer cute. It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me.”\nI remember that when I was an easily influenced young kid, I always strived for my role models to possess that intangible quality of having the privilege of serving time.\nBut Paris continued by saying, “I know now that I can make a difference, that I have the power to do that. I have been thinking that I want to do different things when I am out of here. I have become much more spiritual. God has given me this new chance.”\nAnd I agree. A higher being has given her a new chance. Burger King was never a good fit for her. She’s more of a Taco Bell spokesperson. I mean, she already owns the dog. It’s a fresh start for Paris, and I say forget BK and what we crave. I’m ready for Fourthmeal at the Bell.\nParis then talked about whom she wanted to help and such. But what followed was shocking: Paris got biblical on us. She said, “My spirit or soul did not like the way I was being seen, and that is why I was sent to jail.”\nNo, Paris. You were sent to jail because you violated probation. If life were based on karma, prison wouldn’t be enough punishment for all the stunts you’ve pulled. \nOf course, no Paris interview can be complete unless her physical appearance is discussed at least once. But remember, Paris has changed. She said she hasn’t looked in the mirror since she got to prison.\nThat’s good, Paris. I’m proud you are trying to learn from this experience. But I have to make one small request: Don’t quit your crazy antics. That’s what got you your popularity, and if you lose them then you have nothing but millions of billions of dollars to console the pain.\nThey say money can’t buy friendship. But it sure as hell can buy you a real-life game of Monopoly, and she’s well on her way to winning the game.\nShe already owns the hotels
(06/14/07 4:00am)
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.\n"Norbit" was the second time I've been fooled by Eddie Murphy's ability to play multiple characters -- the first time being when I watched "The Nutty Professor." "Norbit" fooled me because, like "The Nutty Professor," it was downright hilarious, despite how horrendous the previews made it look.\nThe story is about Norbit (Murphy), an orphan left at Mr. Wong's (also played by Murphy) orphanage, who is bullied into marriage by an extremely large woman named Rasputia (Murphy again). After years of marriage, Kate Thomas (Thandie Newton), Norbit's childhood sweetheart, returns to their hometown with her fiancé Deion (Cuba Gooding Jr.) to buy the orphanage. But Deion's marriage to Thomas is only a scam to make money.\nFrom this point on, the plot is fairly straightforward. In fact, it is so predictable, even Helen Keller could have seen what was coming next.\nIf you can get past the shoddy script, the acting and humor are phenomenal, and the make-up is so good you cannot even tell that Mr. Wong and Rasputia are being played by Murphy. "Norbit" is also helped greatly by the lead charcter's pimp friends Pope Sweet Jesus (Eddie Griffin) and Lord Have Mercy (Katt Williams), who are equally humorous in their scenes.\nIf Murphy put half the effort he put into his acting into the script, "Norbit" could have easily been one of Murphy's better movies. However, this was not the case, and we are only left with a few good laughs as we are babied through a basic script.\nSadly, the extras are terrible. A comedy with Murphy needs a gag reel, but there was no such thing on this DVD (although I found one on the "Norbit" Web site). The only reason the extras are even worth taking a glance at is for a few extra jokes from the pimps in the deleted scenes. Besides that, the extras are disappointing.\nAll in all, if you don't want to think and just want a few quick laughs, then make some popcorn, get comfy and enjoy "Norbit" ... as a rental.
(06/14/07 12:21am)
Dear Mr. Phillip \nMickelson,
(06/11/07 12:19am)
On June 26, 2003, the stage was set for brilliance.\nAll year, people (myself included) wondered if it would actually happen. Would the better-than-most become the best? \nThe answer was yes, and on May 31, 2007, all the doubters were silenced as the unbelievable was performed.\nIt was the evolution of the LeBron James, King James, Video Game James, the Raging Inferno or whatever nickname you want to give the 22-year-old phenom who just four years ago was finishing up his senior year at St. Vincent-St. Mary’s High School in Akron, Ohio. Picking his nickname might seem hard, but picking the adjective to describe his performance is even harder. \nUnbelievable? Nasty? Filthy? Stupendous? Astonishing? Straight Bidness? I would go on, but my vocabulary isn’t extensive enough.\nLeBron scored 29 of the last 30 points for the Cleveland Cavaliers in Game 5 against the Detroit Pistons – in Detroit nonetheless – and is the single reason the Cavs are in the NBA finals for the first time in franchise history.\nHe showed the performance that is making the other 14 Eastern Conference franchises shiver as they come to terms with the fact that the King James’ Dynasty has begun and the drought of finals appearances for those respective teams is imminent.\nTo put it bluntly, LeBron became what he was supposed to become: the best of this generation.\nBut is he the best enough to win this title? Can the Cavs really beat the Spurs in this NBA Championship series? \nIf the history of these playoffs is any indication, the answer is no. We learned from Don Nelson and Avery Johnson that the protege does not beat the mentor, which means that Cav’s coach Mike Brown (protege) should not beat Spurs coach Gregg Popovich (his mentor). \nBut Brown has something Johnson didn’t have: LeBron.\nIf the Cavs want to have a prayer of winning this series and the title, LeBron must continue doing what he has been doing. He must be the best player on the floor – and then some.\nThe nation seems to be behind the Cavs and their unlikely run to the finals, and NBA Commissioner David Stern couldn’t have dreamed of a better situation. He suspended players and did everything he could to get the Spurs into the finals and now he lands the face of the NBA in there by chance. Whether it’s luck or conspiracy, his job security and that $10 million salary just skyrocketed.\nTonight we all can watch Game 1 of this best-of-seven series. It will be a defensive struggle between two purely defensive teams, but now that LeBron is playing, there is always that slight chance that you will witness something to tell your kids about.\nTo me, who wins the title is irrelevant. I will be happy either way.\nI’m just glad the Pistons lost.
(06/04/07 12:58am)
Flopping used to be an art form, performed by only the best of the best in the NBA. It took a true champion to make a light tap look like a foul at the most opportune time.\nBut that was back when the NBA was actually a decent league filled with players who cared about the game and the overall perception of the league. \nNow we’re in the Conference Finals, wondering what happened. What has the league turned into? And why right now? I’m asking these questions because three of the game’s biggest floppers are ruining these two series, and one is killing the game on the whole.\nOne of these guys is Manu Ginobili, and he has got to stop. He is an incredibly talented player with an unbelievable ability to get to the basket and finish better than many in the league. But he flops more than a fish on land. Every game, he has at least one flop that makes Vanilla Ice’s career downfall look miniscule.\nHe’s not alone, though. Cleveland’s Anderson Varejao flopped well enough to cause Rasheed Wallace to run his mouth in a post-game interview, although that doesn’t take much. There’s also Andrei Kirilenko , who flops the least of the three, but still had one huge flop at the final game against the Warriors that ended up sealing the game and the series.\nMore and more flopping is happening each game, and it is getting difficult to watch.\nThe problem has arisen in the NBA at an inopportune time, when NBA Commissioner David Stern is under fire for other problems he has faced with the league. But it is still unclear why the flopping is just picking up now.\nI believe it is because of the increasing number of European players entering the league each year who grew up watching soccer players prance around flopping left and right. OK, that may be an unfair shot at soccer, which is truly a difficult sport. I’m just scared that soccer is going to beat out the NHL for a real TV contract, and that can’t happen.\nBut whatever the reason, it needs to stop. I’m sick of watching Ginobili run into a player as he runs down the court and then seeing him fly backwards, pretending that he’s been sacked by Ray Lewis. It is getting old.\nCommissioner Stern needs to add flopping to his “list of things I need to try not to screw up this summer” along with ludicrously leaving the bench during an altercation rule and Joey Crawford.\nSoccer and hockey both assess penalties for intentional flopping, and basketball needs to follow suit. \nBecause if I really wanted to watch a true flop, I’ll go to my memory bank and relive Reggie Miller’s brilliance.
(05/24/07 12:11am)
Some people just make you wonder. Soccer star Romario de Souza Faria is a perfect example of one of those people.\nRomario, a former striker for the Brazil national soccer team, scored his self-proclaimed “1,000th goal” this past Sunday on a penalty. The reason this tally is self-proclaimed is because the total includes goals scored in all his youth, friendly and testimonial games, as well as those netted in competition.\nThe reaching of this milestone caused a delay in the game as friends and family stormed the pitch to celebrate.\nRomario got me thinking. Is he a truly unnatural physical specimen? Is he a mentally distraught human being from all the headers? Or is he just completely full of himself? I think it’s all of the above.\nBut if Romario can proclaim this milestone, then I think it’s time I proclaim some of the achievements I’ve reached this week.\nThis column includes my 3 quintillionth typed word. This of course includes high school research papers, past sports columns and AIM/text messages.\nLast Monday was my 15,000th time brushing my teeth. Unfortunately, I was here in Bloomington and was unable to celebrate with my family.\nMoreover, last Saturday, I saw my 100th movie in the theater. Kerasotes was kind enough to acknowledge this milestone before the movie started (not really) ... which the crowd enjoyed more than those stupid commercials.\nThe theater movie achievement led to my DVD-watching milestone. I watched “South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut” for the 99th time along with Stomp the Yard (which came out last week) for the 5th time.\nMonday I reached 666 Facebook friends. Coincidence? Maybe. Self-proclaimed? You bet.\nSunday, I ate my 2,000th cheeseburger. This feat, however, was topped on Tuesday when I ate my millionth fry.\nThis upcoming joke will be my 50th joke printed by the IDS: What does a Tickle Me Elmo get right before he leaves the factory?\nTwo test tickles (hint: read it out loud if you don’t get it). That joke gets me every time.\nLast week, I played my 1,500th hole of golf ... which I parred.\nWednesday I watched my 5,000th episode of “Yes, Dear.” This achievement includes the episodes I watched when the show was on prime time and the reruns I watch daily on TBS.\nTuesday I used David Stern’s name in vain for the 10th time this week. This of course didn’t touch the 100 times I used Larry Bird’s name in vain during the NBA draft lottery this past Tuesday night. \nThis column is my 20th printed by the IDS. Hopefully, after a few more columns this summer, the IDS will give me a Mike Abrams’ page for one Thursday.\nAlso, yesterday, I made my 500,000th basket which includes baskets made from youth, recreational play, “NBA 2K7” and beer pong games.\nBut like Romario, I also scored my 1,000th goal on Sunday ... on Xbox’s FIFA 2007.\nFinally, Monday was the first time I’d ever heard of Romario, a milestone I probably didn’t need to reach. However, his self-proclamation made me laugh for the 100 billionth time, a milestone that can’t be left uncelebrated.
(05/17/07 12:09am)
Believe it or not, I’m not omniscient. \nCaptain Planet is the only omniscient being of whom I’m aware and, despite my strong attempt to encompass all of his traits, I am just not quite there. I’m close though, and hopefully “Mike’s Mic” can take me the rest of the way.\nSo, “Mike’s Mic” is taking a turn today, a hard right turn to new places. Hell, maybe even to new villains.\nToday, I ask you, my few readers, to help me answer the fundamental questions of life that have been bothering me recently. \nHere are the questions that I just don’t have a good answer for:\n-Why does every race on a circular track (Little 500, NASCAR, IndyCar) involve only left turns? Why not right turns?\n-Why is the NBA shot clock 24 seconds? Why not a round 25 seconds?\n-Why does the American League use designated hitters, while the National League doesn’t?\n-Why did hockey have a TV contract last year with the “Outdoor Life Network” when the sport is completely indoors?\n-Why isn’t there a 4-point line? Or a 5-point line?\n-Why does my friend’s mom have a mirror in her bathroom placed right above the toilet?\n-Is there an unwritten rule that requires retired players to coach, manage or commentate on their respective sports?\n-Why did the NBA switch the homecourt advantages to 2-3-2 in the finals series instead of the usual 2-2-1-1-1 that is used during the rest of the playoffs and in most other sports?\n-Why does the home team wear light colors in some sports and dark colors in others? Why don’t we have a universal rule, like the golden rule, for this?\n-Why is the basket 10 feet tall? Why don’t we increase the height to 12 feet and see what players really have some hops?\n-Where is Waldo?\n-How did someone come up with the entire concept of golf?\n-Why should I (and do I) pay $90 to watch an uninspired Pacers team play a depleted Celtics team?\n-Why won’t Barry Bonds just admit it?\n-Why aren’t the various charity works done by athletes ever really shown by the media?\n-Why don’t I have enough natural talent to play a professional sport?\nMaybe these questions don’t have answers, but if you can think of a really good answer for one of these questions, excluding the last one, let me know. I’d love to be enlightened by my highly knowledgeable readers.\nUntil then ...\nLet our powers combine. Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart! Captain Planet!
(05/10/07 4:00am)
Even in Dinosaur Jr.'s late-'80s heyday, the band had one of underground rock's most dysfunctional internal relationships. Thus, the fact that all three founders -- J. Mascis, Lou Barlow and Murph -- managed to set aside their differences and reunite for a 2006 tour was extraordinary. And that they've followed this by producing a new album is truly remarkable. But what's downright miraculous is that this album, Beyond, is very good indeed.\nAs a young indie rock fan in the dawn of the 21st century, you might be wondering why you should care. So what if Beyond stands alongside Dinosaur Jr.'s best? Their masterpiece, You're Living All Over Me, is older than many folks reading this paper! But here's the thing: while Beyond is a bit of a throwback to 1989 or so, it's also a perfectly timed throwback. It lands squarely in the midst of a trend I've noted in past reviews: the "Guitar Hero" phenomenon -- the return of hard rock to the indie scene. And if you've liked the mock-Zeppelin of Wolfmother, the bar-epics of The Hold Steady, Queens of the Stone Age's discography or that last Kings of Leon album -- dear God, wait'll you hear this.\nTake, for example, Beyond's third song, "Pick Me Up." A bass guitar/lead guitar chug and Mascis' drawl give way to a repeated plea to "Hold On!" as the lead howls like a coyote -- then things downshift into a smoldering slow march (think Sonic Youth) before exploding into a towering three-minute guitar solo. If it doesn't make you want to engage in a bit of air guitar, then you have no soul.\n"Pick Me Up" is Beyond's most ambitious moment, but the album's first seven tracks feature one distortion-fueled, fist-pumping melody after another, tempered by Mascis' plaintive, age-worn, surprisingly romantic vocals. This is followed by "We're Not Alone" and "I Got Lost," for which the band dials things down, delivering a catchy bit of jangle-pop and a mournful acoustic sing-along, respectively. Next track, "Lightning Bulb," spits venom but drags a bit. However, things conclude on one final blast: "What If I Knew."\nIt's hardly a departure from their past albums -- but with no one else trying to cop Dinosaur Jr.'s sound, Beyond feels like a revelation (not to mention a terrific introduction to a classic band). Who'd have guessed that a dinosaur would adapt so well to the present?
(05/10/07 12:02am)
You know the times. It’s fourth-meal at Taco Bell and you just don’t know what to order. There is too much on the menu and indecision strikes even the greatest minds. Do you order the three taco meal, a quesadilla, a chalupa or the therapeutic cheesy gordita crunch?\nIt is decisions like these that haunt you for eternity.\nThat is what I feel like right now. Way too much is going on right now in the sports world. I could write about the NHL Conference Finals, round two of the NBA playoffs, the big boxing match, Tiger winning again, Roger Clemens going to the Yankees or if I really, really wanted to bore you, the WNBA preseason.\nWhat should I do?\nI’m going to do the same thing I do at Taco Bell: order the whole shebang. \nSo let’s get to fourth-meal.\nAt the beginning of the NHL playoffs, I never thought these words would leave my mouth: I am more excited to watch the Eastern Conference Finals than the Western Conference Finals. \nWhy?\nThe bloodshed between Ottawa and Buffalo during the midseason brawl was enough to spark a rivalry between even the best of friends. Add a little animosity before the brawl and at least four (hopefully seven) more playoff games and you get a series for the history books. I’m excited. Now if I can only find a TV with Versus.\nThe NBA is heating up too. With Dallas now gone, the winner of the Spurs/Suns matchup is expected to win the title, but, as much as it pains me to say it, I can’t count out the Pistons yet. Chris Webber added an element to that team that may be tough to stop.\nBut my biggest concern is for the fans and two potentially terrible conference finals. \nIn the East, there is no good combination of teams to make a truly exciting matchup. As for the West, if Utah and the Spurs both emerge victorious, the matchup will bore average fans to death. \nHowever, a Suns/Warriors matchup could be the most exciting series of the playoffs. Both teams play a “run-and-gun” style of offense (although ever since the Warriors acquired Stephen Jackson, they play more of a “run-and-pistol”), which will be highly entertaining to watch.\nBut if you’re not a basketball or hockey fan, there was that fight last weekend that wasn’t too shabby ... except that it cost more than $50 to see just 45 minutes of fighting. At least Floyd Mayweather Jr. won, because his interview afterward was great. Boastful people are funny.\nSwitching gears, a very gracious Tiger Woods won again. This was his 57th PGA tour victory, which puts him 57 victories ahead of me. I guess a corpulent kid just can’t catch a tiger. Well, maybe John Daly, but I still doubt it.\nAs for the nation’s pastime, Clemens went to the nationally-hated Yankees. Everyone had doubts about the Yankees making the playoffs this season and Clemens could be the final piece to the puzzle. \nAs for the WNBA season kicking off … actually, ever since I got Taco Bell on my mind, I’m starving.\nI’m going to go get fourth-meal.
(05/04/07 4:00am)
Certain things just aren’t supposed to happen. Ari Gold should never be fired by Vincent Chase on “Entourage,” Ja Rule should never rap and players from the ’82-’83 Boston Celtics teams should never be put in charge of NBA basketball teams.\nBut, unfortunately, things like that do happen.\nAri was fired, Ja Rule is “livin’ it up” and Danny Ainge, Kevin McHale and Larry Bird are running three different teams … into the ground.\nI used to think that all former NBA players should not be put in charge of teams, but Joe Dumars proved me wrong. So now I have realized that Ainge, McHale and Bird are just part of the “Clover Curse.”\nThe “Clover Curse” consists of players from the glory years in Boston. The teams were amazing, the players were amazing and even the always-entertaining Boston fans were amazing. \nBut that was then, and this is now.\nThe players from those teams are spread around the country, but three have been causing problems lately, and one of those three is greatly affecting my life. Let me break it down for you:\nAinge is currently running the Celtics, a position in which he has made multiple eyebrow-rasing moves. He has traded away players fans have liked, he is keeping a questionable coach for another year and he has brought in a trigger-happy point guard to save the team for a season, an attempt that failed miserably.\nAll of this has led to a lovely season record of 24-58, the second-worst in the NBA this season.\nMcHale is currently an executive in charge of the Timberwolves, although he has not been able to keep team superstar Kevin Garnett happy in this capacity. Why is KG unhappy? It’s because he has had a bad mix of different supporting players who have all failed to get him to the 2nd round of the playoffs during his career. save one trip to the Western Conference Finals in 2004.\nAll of this has led to a great season record of 32-50.\nAs for Bird, he is single-handedly dismantling the Pacers as we speak. He believed in Ron Artest, brought Stephen Jackson in to be the answer to fix his team’s problems, traded up to draft James White only to cut him before the season started, traded for Al Harrington during the last off-season just to re-trade him mid-season and is likely to have no draft picks during what is being called the deepest draft in years.\nAll of this led to the Pacers missing the playoffs for the first time in ten years with a stupendous record of 35-47.\nSo why haven’t any of these guys been fired?\nBeats me.\nMaybe there’s a rule that you can’t fire a Hall-of-Famer. Maybe the teams actually think these guys are doing a good job. Maybe the world just wants to see me suffer through Bird’s tenure a little longer before a higher being swoops in and saves me from my agony. I honestly \ndon’t know.\nBut what I do know is that, next season, when I see the Celtics, T-Wolves or Pacers lose, I will be thinking of the “Clover Curse.”
(04/26/07 4:00am)
Here’s the mail. It never fails. It makes me want to wag my tail. When it comes I want to wail. Mail. \nMail. I get a lot of it and some of it pertains to Mike’s Mic. I get hate mail, fan mail and occasionally death threats. But all three of those mail means one thing: people actually read my ramblings. Since I now have a few (8 that I know of) long-time readers, I’ve offered them the opportunity of a lifetime. I am allowing them the chance to ask me a question that I will answer. \nWithout further ado, here is my first mailbag:\nQ: How far up the Pacers organization are heads going to roll after two terrible seasons? – sophomore Zach Kleiman\nA: Interesting question, Zach, but it will be difficult to tell. Rick Carlisle is a goner, but you can’t fire Larry Legend despite the dire need to do so. Donnie Walsh and Larry may be the reason that the team has gone south, but Walsh has done a lot of good in his time to outweigh his bad and it’s difficult to fire the boy from French Lick. I think Carlisle is the only one gone by the season opener.\nQ: Now that criminal charges have been dropped against the Duke lacrosse players, what’s your take on the university’s treatment of former coach Mike Pressler? – Journalism professor Curt Wellman\nA: Intriguing question. It is evident that his firing was solely based on accusations, however, now that those accusations have been deemed false by the court system, he was fired for nothing. The firing ruined his career and no good way really exists to pay him back. It was an all-around sad story that has bad repercussions.\nQ: Where do babies come from? – sophomore Craig Taylor\nA: You see Craig, when a man and a woman are in love … Actually Craig, we will talk later.\nQ: What do you think of Title IX? Do you think it’s serving its original purpose? – sophomore Madison Spruell.\nA: No, and I don’t like it because I want IU to have a D1 men’s ice hockey team.\nQ: What do you think the NHL should do about these illegal slashings? – sophomore Stephen Lederman\nA: What slashings? I wouldn’t know since the NHL doesn’t have a real TV contract.\nQ: The Nets/Raptors series. Honestly, who gives a F***? – sophomore Joey Shikany\nA: I’m surprised by your question because this series has a lot of underrated stories. Vince Carter is public enemy No. 1 in Toronto against a team no one believes in. The series should be better than the average fan expects.\nQ: Do you think A-Rod will beat Bonds’ 73? – sophomore Jason Fried.\nA: He’s on pace to hit more than 100, but let’s remember that Albert Pujols had a similar hot start but struggled because of injuries. If A-Rod stays healthy, I wouldn’t count him out, but 73 is a big number.\nI hope that answers everyone’s questions. I’m surprised no one asked me about curling.
(04/17/07 4:00am)
What a disgrace. It makes me sick. Better yet, he makes me sick. His name is Joey Crawford, an NBA official, and he epitomizes everything wrong with the NBA. As you may or may not have realized by my infatuation with the Indiana Pacers, I’ve been to thousands of NBA games in my life thus far. I usually go to a game and look at the officiating crew and figure out who will blow the game, who will call the quick technical foul and who will make the right calls. Let me tell you, the latter of the three is rarely the case.\nCrawford called a technical foul on San Antonio Spurs center Tim Duncan when Duncan laughed at a call Crawford made during the Spurs 91-86 loss to the Dallas Mavericks on Sunday. The foul, Duncan’s second technical of the game, forced officials to eject Duncan from the game.\nThe NBA has so many conspiracy theories revolving around its officials. Being from Indianapolis, I have come to realize that we have many about our teams and our city. Commissioner David Stern does decent work, but his biggest flaw is his officiating crews.\nBeing an official is no easy task. I’ve tried to do it myself, and I struggled. I can understand a missed call or two because of the speed of the game. I can even handle a little unbalanced foul calling. \nBut where I lose it is when the refs show their egos. And trust me, they definitely have them. Crawford has one enormous ego, and it’s disgusting. I don’t pay $90 to see Crawford call a game. I come to watch the athletes play the game, not the officials play the athletes.\nCrawford has a quick whistle that stems from his ego, and I disagree with much of what he does. If a player complains to him, fine; maybe he should give him a tech, but it better be either for a lot of complaining or a lot of profanity. But a player on the bench laughing? That isn’t worthy of a technical, and it is definitely not ejection-worthy. That is simply his ego not wanting to be shown up on national TV.\nAnd what about asking a classy professional player with a great reputation to fight midgame? That is downright unbelievable. \nCrawford’s list of players he doesn’t like is extensive and you can see it in every game he refs. He hated Reggie Miller, and he clearly has some animosity toward Duncan. These players shouldn’t have to adjust their game to how well an official likes them.\nThe question now: Where does Stern go from here?\nDoes he fire a veteran official? I think he should. I think he should have fired Crawford years ago.\nDoes he just punish Crawford? Maybe it works, but come playoff time when he’s in the heat of the moment in a game, who is to say that his ego doesn’t jump out and ruin a series, taking away a team’s championship hopes?\nStern needs to make a statement, and it needs to be loud. He must publicly acknowledge the situation and publicly punish Crawford so people know things are being handled. Because if Stern doesn’t, the conspiracy theories will continue, the players will feel cheated and fan attendance will drop.\nAnd next time he screws up, we will all be thinking of the day that Tim Duncan was innocent.
(04/12/07 4:00am)
Ever notice how sports stars always thank their moms during any and every thank-you speech they make? \nI’ve taken notice and I think it’s time for me to thank my mom. No, I haven’t achieved anything yet. I want to thank my mom for knowing more about sports than you do.\nHere are 10 reasons why my mom knows more about sports than you do:\n10. She cheers for the best NFL team – the Indianapolis Colts. She suffered through the bad seasons and she currently goes to most games. She has even caught a pass thrown by former Colt Aaron Moorehead. \n9. Not only can she pronounce Sarunas Jasikevicius, Dirk Nowitzki and Zydrunas Ilgauskas but she knows what countries they are from and who they play for.\n8. When she hears the word “icing,” she doesn’t think of a cake. Thanks to my many years of playing hockey, she not only knows the rules, but she knows many common injuries that result from playing hockey.\n7. Last year she bought the NBA package from DirecTV and spent many nights watching random games. She has also been to more Indiana Pacers games in her lifetime than any student on campus. Hands down. No contest. Don’t even try.\n6. She is loosely following the Cincinnati Reds this season and she’s afraid that Ken Griffey Jr. is going to get hurt soon. This is impressive because not only does she care about baseball more than I do, but she has a very probable prediction. \n5. She was just as angry at Phil Mickleson at the last U.S. Open as the rest of the golfing world was. \n4. For the past 10 years, she didn’t watch the “Today Show.” Instead she watched “SportsCenter” every morning and sometimes watched it twice in a row. \n3. She’s given up most hope on the Pacers. She thinks coach Rick Carlisle and Larry Bird, president of basketball operations, are part of the problem, along with Jamal Tinsley’s attitude. Even though I’m a big fan of J.T. and the way he plays, I can’t disagree with her at all.\n2. She’s not a Kobe fan. This is one area we disagree upon in sports. Even though I’m a big Kobe fan, as all my long-time readers (or anyone who read last week) know, she was able to give me statistical reasons why she doesn’t like him. And she almost sold me on hating him until I remembered that I get paid to write about sports and I have every reason to like him. Of course I then remembered that my parents still pay my credit-card bill, so I don’t like Kobe.\n1. She weekly makes a very smart decision by religiously reading my column.\nWith that said: Dear Mom, The Indiana Daily Student doesn’t pay me enough. I need money. Send Dad and Rocky my best. Thanks. Love, Mike
(04/05/07 4:00am)
When Kathie Lee Gifford and Regis Philbin split, there was one underlying question. It was a given that Regis would move on and continue his undoubtedly infamous career, but everyone wanted to know how Kathie Lee would do without Regis. \nThis has an uncanny resemblance to the Shaq and Kobe split in 2004. \nWe all knew Shaq would continue and dominate a clearly smaller Eastern conference, but how would Kobe do without his sidekick?\nLuckily for the basketball community, Kobe took a different route than Kathie Lee. Excluding the fact that both Kobe and Kathie Lee have been referred to as “dirty,” Kobe has been less like Kathie Lee and more like Will Farrell in “Elf” – still great, but with much less talent to work with than he had in “Old School.” \nSince, for Lent, I gave up cheering for the Pacers, I recently became Kobe’s therapist, molding one and only one thought into his mind: Shoot. OK, I don’t celebrate Lent. I just can’t watch the Pacers anymore, but that’s why I’ve turned my attention to my Kobe, and my therapy is the reason for his success.\nHe’s amazing. He’s arguably the best player in the game right now, despite some unintelligent people wrongly comparing him to MJ. But does Kobe ever get the credit he deserves? \nLet’s explore.\nLast year the MVP race was between the same three (maybe four) players that it is between this year: Kobe, Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki and maybe LeBron James.\nLast year, my MVP was Kobe, hands down. He scored 82 points in a game and out-scored Dallas (the NBA Finals runner-up) through three quarters one game by himself before he sat out the fourth quarter, showing his unselfish, team-player side. He was the leading scorer in the league, he brought an undeserving team to the playoffs that was a few good plays away from taking out Phoenix in the first round, and he should have been holding that trophy at the end of the season. But was he? No.\nThis year is the same thing. He’s scored more than 50 points eight times this season, four of which were in a row – he’s the only player to do that besides this guy named Wilt who was an OK scorer. He averaged over 40 points in March. He’s still the leading scorer of the league, his team’s currently in the playoffs and he should be holding that trophy at the end of the year. But will he?\nProbably not.\nWhy? \nBecause he’s Kobe. \nDespite everything he tries to do, his reputation is poor at best, he has some skeletons in his Eagle, Colo., closet, and he just doesn’t look quite the same in that No. 24 jersey.\nThe NBA and the media won’t allow Kobe the trophy, and there’s nothing Kobe can do about it except keep shooting, scoring and winning.\nWell, I take that back. He could try buying the voters $4 million, purple diamond rings.
(03/29/07 4:00am)
Here’s my great idea, so listen up good. I’m going to rhyme this column together like you never believed I could.\nIt should give today’s paper a little style and flavor. It’s something new and different and something to savor. \nSo bring on the challenge and prepare for something great. I’m going at this full force, for I think this is fate.\nYou can call me Young Jeezy, Eminem or Jam Master Jay. For I’m bringing the rhymes and lyrics you’re reading today.\nCollege basketball is still rollin’, and we’re now down to four. Three more games and college basketball will be no more.\nIt’s UCLA, G-Town, Florida and Ohio State. I had none of these in my bracket, which I now really hate. \nNo Cinderella this year since all are a one or two seed. This may be off topic but have you heard about Rasheed?\nHe’s getting suspended for all the technicals he’s getting left and right. As a Pacers fan, seeing a Piston fail is such a great sight.\nBut how about the NHL East playoff race? Six teams fighting for one spot. Frankly it’s amazing but do you care? I think not.\nThe NBA playoff race isn’t bad, too. I hope my Pacers can make it. The Knicks, the Nets and the Magic all also want to take it.\nAnd more NBA news, Artest is telling his team he’s going to retire. I can only smile as I watch this transpire. \nHe’s got many good years left, as you can see by the way he plays. But something’s missing upstairs. No one understands his ways.\nFirst he had the brawl, then he asked mid-season for time away. The trade to the Kings was such a glorious day.\nBut I said from day one, and it was really no surprise: Given a little time, he would bring down that franchise. \nIt’s really too bad, and I wish he got a grip. Next year would have been great watching him play on the Vegas strip.\nBut enough about Ron-Ron, let’s go on with this story. It’s time to get pumped up for “Blades of Glory.”\nI can’t tell if it’s going to suck or if it’s going to actually be funny. I’m not sure I’m ready to dish out the money.\nOK, I must end but it’s really been a blast. As for rhyming columns, this is my first and my last.\nSo I hope you all enjoyed my rhymes even if they actually did suck. Frankly I really don’t give a ... darn.
(03/22/07 4:00am)
Spring break is that time of year where when college students stop focusing on academics and start dabbling in debauchery. \nIt’s that week of the year when students party for an entire week like they usually do on the regular weekends. \nIt’s all fun in the sun, but most students forget one major thing: the rest of the world keeps churning while we have fun.\nWith that in mind, I bring you to my dilemma. So much has happened since I last graced you with my thoughts that I couldn’t decide on just one topic to write about. Instead of picking one, a potpourri of my ramblings is due. So stop taking notes, take a deep breath and try to follow my sporadic thoughts.\nAfter watching hours upon hours of college basketball this weekend, I now despise John Mellencamp’s “This is Our Country” song and the entire General Motors Company. Chevy decided to buy space on every commercial break making it impossible to get that song out of your head.\nCongratulations to the Indiana Pacers. I haven’t had the luxury of talking about their legal troubles for weeks, but Boomer, the feline mascot, is being sued for tackling a promotional contestant with a bad back. I’m proud the Pacers can get the whole organization involved in community disservice.\nWatch out Harlan, Dime magazine allowed Ron Artest to have his own advice column. It is quite possibly the greatest thing I’ve read in years. It also couldn’t come at a more appropriate time as he was just arrested for spousal abuse making him the ideal candidate to give advice.\nQuick poll: Who would you take advice from? Ron Artest, Paris Hilton, Ken Lay or Hillary Clinton? My vote goes to … thiiiiis is ooooour country.\nThe Colts have lost three starters to free agency. OK Bear’s fans, you can smile about our off-season struggles as I snuggle comfortably in my Colt’s Super Bowl XLI Champion afghan.\nThe NHL playoff race is really heating up and no one in ooooour country cares.\nRoger Federer lost.\nEvander Holyfield is making a comeback in an attempt to become the first five-time heavyweight champion. Win or lose, he will always be the first four-time heavyweight champion with part of his ear missing.\nMike Modano became the all-time leading American-born goal scorer in the NHL with 503 goals, and the Dallas Stars organization is mad at Nashville for not recognizing the milestone over the speaker system. Clearly Nashville doesn’t care that he is the best goal scorer in ooooour country.\nKobe Bryant got tagged with another bad flagrant foul by throwing an elbow at Kyle Korver. I can’t blame him though. Ever since Punk’d started I’ve wanted to throw an elbow at Ashton Kutcher, too.\nOK, I can’t take it anymore. I’ve now made it my goal to find and destroy every Mellencamp CD. Thiiiiis is ooooour country!
(03/21/07 4:00am)
The IU men's club volleyball team placed second Saturday in the Big Ten tournament in Minneapolis, Minn.\nThe team earned the seed with its play in the regular season and was able to defeat two ranked teams on the way to the championship match. But the team’s goal of the day was to win its opening pool, said sophomore defensive specialist John McSorley. \nThe Hoosiers came into the tournament with a 9-8 record and had pool play matches against Minnesota and No. 16 Michigan State. IU was unable to overcome the tournament host Golden Gophers in a tight three-game match, but knocked off the Spartans in two games.\n“That first loss was really devastating at the time,” McSorley said. “But we really got our act together against Michigan State to beat them in two games which gave us a lot of momentum for the day. Confidence-wise, it was a really helpful game for us.”\nIU won its pool in a tiebreaker giving the team a bye in the first round of single-elimination. IU faced in-state rival Purdue in the quarterfinals and the win against the Boilermakers pinned the Hoosiers against No. 14 Ohio State in the semis.\nThe Hoosiers conquered their second-ranked team of the day with a three-match win against the Buckeyes. \n“That was a really exciting match with a lot of players really stepping up,” McSorley said. “One of our seniors, David Reid, gave us a lot of momentum with his serves and our entire defense really stepped it up.”\nThe win created a No. 3 Illinois-versus-IU championship matchup.\nIU was unable to knock off its third-ranked team opponent of the day as it lost in two games to the Illini, giving the Hoosiers second place in the tournament.\nThe Hoosiers didn’t leave empty handed, though.\nReid was named to the First Team All Big Ten while senior outside hitter Alex Lepp and senior setter Bryan Hara received Big Ten Honorable Mentions. Reid, Lepp and Hara were also all named to the All Big Ten Tournament Team.\nThe Hoosiers leave today to travel to the Las Vegas Open this weekend.\n“We are really excited to go to Vegas to play some West Coast teams,” McSorley said. “We don’t get to play them much and we get to play a good (No. 2) Arizona team. Plus it’s in Las Vegas.”