Back to reality

Spring break is that time of year where when college students stop focusing on academics and start dabbling in debauchery. \nIt’s that week of the year when students party for an entire week like they usually do on the regular weekends. \nIt’s all fun in the sun, but most students forget one major thing: the rest of the world keeps churning while we have fun.\nWith that in mind, I bring you to my dilemma. So much has happened since I last graced you with my thoughts that I couldn’t decide on just one topic to write about. Instead of picking one, a potpourri of my ramblings is due. So stop taking notes, take a deep breath and try to follow my sporadic thoughts.\nAfter watching hours upon hours of college basketball this weekend, I now despise John Mellencamp’s “This is Our Country” song and the entire General Motors Company. Chevy decided to buy space on every commercial break making it impossible to get that song out of your head.\nCongratulations to the Indiana Pacers. I haven’t had the luxury of talking about their legal troubles for weeks, but Boomer, the feline mascot, is being sued for tackling a promotional contestant with a bad back. I’m proud the Pacers can get the whole organization involved in community disservice.\nWatch out Harlan, Dime magazine allowed Ron Artest to have his own advice column. It is quite possibly the greatest thing I’ve read in years. It also couldn’t come at a more appropriate time as he was just arrested for spousal abuse making him the ideal candidate to give advice.\nQuick poll: Who would you take advice from? Ron Artest, Paris Hilton, Ken Lay or Hillary Clinton? My vote goes to … thiiiiis is ooooour country.\nThe Colts have lost three starters to free agency. OK Bear’s fans, you can smile about our off-season struggles as I snuggle comfortably in my Colt’s Super Bowl XLI Champion afghan.\nThe NHL playoff race is really heating up and no one in ooooour country cares.\nRoger Federer lost.\nEvander Holyfield is making a comeback in an attempt to become the first five-time heavyweight champion. Win or lose, he will always be the first four-time heavyweight champion with part of his ear missing.\nMike Modano became the all-time leading American-born goal scorer in the NHL with 503 goals, and the Dallas Stars organization is mad at Nashville for not recognizing the milestone over the speaker system. Clearly Nashville doesn’t care that he is the best goal scorer in ooooour country.\nKobe Bryant got tagged with another bad flagrant foul by throwing an elbow at Kyle Korver. I can’t blame him though. Ever since Punk’d started I’ve wanted to throw an elbow at Ashton Kutcher, too.\nOK, I can’t take it anymore. I’ve now made it my goal to find and destroy every Mellencamp CD. Thiiiiis is ooooour country!