The Clover Curse

Certain things just aren’t supposed to happen. Ari Gold should never be fired by Vincent Chase on “Entourage,” Ja Rule should never rap and players from the ’82-’83 Boston Celtics teams should never be put in charge of NBA basketball teams.\nBut, unfortunately, things like that do happen.\nAri was fired, Ja Rule is “livin’ it up” and Danny Ainge, Kevin McHale and Larry Bird are running three different teams … into the ground.\nI used to think that all former NBA players should not be put in charge of teams, but Joe Dumars proved me wrong. So now I have realized that Ainge, McHale and Bird are just part of the “Clover Curse.”\nThe “Clover Curse” consists of players from the glory years in Boston. The teams were amazing, the players were amazing and even the always-entertaining Boston fans were amazing. \nBut that was then, and this is now.\nThe players from those teams are spread around the country, but three have been causing problems lately, and one of those three is greatly affecting my life. Let me break it down for you:\nAinge is currently running the Celtics, a position in which he has made multiple eyebrow-rasing moves. He has traded away players fans have liked, he is keeping a questionable coach for another year and he has brought in a trigger-happy point guard to save the team for a season, an attempt that failed miserably.\nAll of this has led to a lovely season record of 24-58, the second-worst in the NBA this season.\nMcHale is currently an executive in charge of the Timberwolves, although he has not been able to keep team superstar Kevin Garnett happy in this capacity. Why is KG unhappy? It’s because he has had a bad mix of different supporting players who have all failed to get him to the 2nd round of the playoffs during his career. save one trip to the Western Conference Finals in 2004.\nAll of this has led to a great season record of 32-50.\nAs for Bird, he is single-handedly dismantling the Pacers as we speak. He believed in Ron Artest, brought Stephen Jackson in to be the answer to fix his team’s problems, traded up to draft James White only to cut him before the season started, traded for Al Harrington during the last off-season just to re-trade him mid-season and is likely to have no draft picks during what is being called the deepest draft in years.\nAll of this led to the Pacers missing the playoffs for the first time in ten years with a stupendous record of 35-47.\nSo why haven’t any of these guys been fired?\nBeats me.\nMaybe there’s a rule that you can’t fire a Hall-of-Famer. Maybe the teams actually think these guys are doing a good job. Maybe the world just wants to see me suffer through Bird’s tenure a little longer before a higher being swoops in and saves me from my agony. I honestly \ndon’t know.\nBut what I do know is that, next season, when I see the Celtics, T-Wolves or Pacers lose, I will be thinking of the “Clover Curse.”