QUESTION: Hi! I enjoy sex and for the most part I'm OK with giving oral sex to my male partners, but I'm currently dating a guy exclusively and his cum tastes awful. I can't say I've had much experience with this, but his is especially terrible. Is there anything he or I can do to change the taste? Second, every time I go down on him, I feel like throwing up for at least an hour or so after. This has even caused me to gag or stop eating from nausea. Is there anything I can do to keep from feeling this way? I could just spit rather than swallow, but I would want to discuss that with my boyfriend instead of just doing it. We're very open but I feel like this might hurt his feelings.
ANSWER: We commonly hear from men and women who are interested in improving the taste of their own or their partner's ejaculate or vaginal fluids. Unfortunately, researchers have yet to uncover the mysteries of how to improve taste. Plus, the way a person's body tastes to their partner is a matter of individual preference. Though you may dislike the taste of his ejaculate, another person might actually like it. In this way, it is similar to how people prefer different flavors of ice cream, scents of perfume or types of beer. \nRegardless, what you have is a man who you like but a taste that you dislike. How can you reconcile this situation? \nIt might be worth considering whether you actually want to perform oral sex on your partner. You said that you are "OK" with it, but taste issues aside -- do you actually like or enjoy this behavior? If not, then consider other ways of pleasuring your partner. You do not have to give or receive oral sex if you don't want to; it is also not your responsibility to bring him to orgasm if you don't want to or don't feel like it. \nIf you feel good about performing oral sex on him but simply want to improve the taste, some people believe that eating fruits like kiwi, watermelon and pineapple may improve the taste of ejaculate. Though these foods are widely touted as "taste enhancers," researchers have not studied these in any systematic fashion and so we cannot say whether they help or not. If you want to try out these foods as a "can't hurt -- might help" strategy, then you might float the idea by saying something like "I heard that eating certain fruits can make people 'taste' better. If you want to try it, I will too, and we can tell each other if it works". This might frame it as a fun means of exploration that you can do together rather than making it seem like he tastes bad (which can feel hurtful). \nBecause smell can influence a person's taste perception, it might be better to try performing oral sex on him after he has showered. Also, there is some suggestion that cigarette smoke might be associated with poorer taste but the research to back this up does not -- to our knowledge -- exist, and again it is a matter of personal taste. \nAnother option is to use a condom when performing oral sex (a smart idea anyway, since sexually transmitted infections can be passed through oral sex). If you feel awkward suggesting condom use during oral sex after all this time without one, then perhaps frame it as about play rather than taste avoidance. There are many brands of flavored condoms available at local adult bookstores and Web sites like www.condomania.com. You might also consider using an unflavored, unlubricated condom and adding your own flavored lubricant such as Climax Fruit Bomb or other brands (www.babeland.com and www.goodvibes.com are two woman-oriented Web sites that carry a wide range of flavored lubricants). \nFinally, you mentioned that you sometimes feel sick after performing oral sex. Some women actually have allergic or hypersensitive reactions to ejaculate. Occasionally this is specific to one man either because of certain components of his ejaculate or because he has ingested something (like a medication or a food) that his partner is allergic to. If you have concerns about this, check in with your healthcare provider. I hope this is helpful and good luck.
