IUSA

Bisexual burritos

By Alyson Brodsy and Colin Dugdale · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 10:34 p.m.

Sex and meat metaphors. For whatever reason, all of my columns seem to involve these two subjects. They are the essential elements of my writing: the sandwich and juice box of each journalistic sack lunch. Looking back, it's astounding how many times I've referred to male phalluses as "hickory-smoked bacon," women's hindquarters as "yum-yum tenderloins" and the act of sexual intercourse itself as "crunching the dirty tacos of desire." Some say I'm sexually frustrated. However, considering my recent sexual proclivity, I sincerely doubt it. A recent study conducted by The New York Times, in fact, concluded that there's a 68.7 percent chance that I'm a dirty whore. And if you round up, the number speaks for itself. (WARNING -- Grandma, the aforementioned joke might have caused irregular heart murmurs. Take your blood pressure medication, and call that number I wrote on the fridge.) Actually, the truth is: I'm all talk. The last person to enter my bed, in fact, was a man by the name of "stats homework" and trust me ... he wasn't very good.

Breaking tradition

By Alyson Brodsy and Megan Robb · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 10:33 p.m.

OXFORD, England -- Tradition is an intrinsic good at Oxford University. The reverence for tradition includes not only scholars wearing black gowns to and from exams and lectures, but also the tendency to demean women's role in academia. The notorious Old Boys network, the successful English men who strengthen their upper-class ties in secondary school and university, is still present on this campus. Many Oxford networks and traditions center around the male student population, leaving some women struggling to assert themselves in academic relationships and leadership positions.

The 'R' word

By Alyson Brodsy and Jonathan P. Rossing · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 10:32 p.m.

What do you call a comedian who tells a couple of black men in an audience, "Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a ... fork up your ass!"? Apparently not a racist, at least if we are to believe Michael Richards (a.k.a. Kramer from "Seinfeld"). In a comedy routine at the Laugh Factory in West Hollywood, Richards verbally attacked a group of men with racist statements and repeatedly called them racist names. The two men appeared on "The Today Show" Nov. 22 and reported that he continued with even more attacks that weren't caught on film. For example: "When I wake up in the morning, I'll still be rich. When you wake up, you'll still be a nigger." Since his on-stage meltdown and tirade, Richards has blitzed the media with apologies. He appeared on David Letterman a few days later to say he was "deeply sorry" for the hurt he caused. He spoke to Rev. Al Sharpton and offered yet another apology on Rev. Jesse Jackson's radio show last Sunday. He has called his outburst crap, horrible and disgusting. He described the rage that lives within him and claimed he's going to see a psychiatrist to work on it.

Detention debacle

By Alyson Brodsy · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 10:32 p.m.

At about 11:30 p.m. Nov. 14, campus police officers at the University of California, Los Angeles brutally attacked an Iranian-American student studying in the library. An internal police review and an independent investigation are simultaneously underway. These are the details compiled from eyewitness testimony, the police report, various news outlets and a cell phone video available on YouTube: 23-year-old Mostafa Tabatabainejad, a senior, was asked to produce his student ID card as per UCLA policy. It's not clear whether Tabatabainejad failed or refused to do so, but he was accosted by UCPD either as he was leaving or refusing to leave the library. The victim demanded the police remove their hands, at which point Officer Terrence Duren proceeded to taser Tabatabainejad.

Man jumps from 2nd floor in fire ruled arson

By Alyson Brodsy and Associated Press · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 10:04 p.m.

A fire that forced a man to jump from a second-story window while carrying his 10-month-old daughter was arson, authorities said. Investigators found an irregular burn pattern on the kitchen floor, indicating arson, said Andy Zirkle, spokesman for the Indiana Department of Homeland Security's Division of Fire and Building Safety.

Panel grants 5 state election recount requests

By Alyson Brodsy and Mike Smith · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 10:04 p.m.

A state panel agreed Wednesday to recount votes in four Indiana House races, with the ultimate outcomes having the potential to threaten Democratic control of the chamber or widen the party's majority. The Indiana Recount Commission also granted Libertarian Steve Osborn's request to re-tally ballots in 10 precincts in his race for the U.S. Senate against Dick Lugar, even though Osborn lost Nov. 7 by more than 1 million votes, and he acknowledged the recount gave him no chance of winning. Democrats gained a 51-49 majority in the Indiana House, according to totals cited by the Secretary of State's office. Recount requests were made by three candidates who each lost by fewer than 30 votes and by former Republican incumbent Billy Bright of North Vernon, Ind., who challenged results that show he lost by about 1,600 votes.

Police arrest dog-napper

By Audrie Garrison · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 10:03 p.m.

A 100-pound American bulldog is safely back in the hands of its owner after police cracked a case of dog-napping Wednesday. The dog's owner, Brady Gillihan, 31, called police Wednesday morning and said he was inside the Pizza Hut at 110 E. Winslow Rd. on Tuesday night picking up a carry-out order. When he returned to his car, Gillihan found that his dog, which he had left in the car for a few minutes, was missing, said Bloomington Police Department Detective Sgt. David Drake, reading from a police report.

Records: Behrman jury drank while off-duty

By Sarah Core · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 10:03 p.m.

Wednesday the Morgan Superior Court released transcripts from the final day of the John R. Myers II trial. The transcripts outlined a detailed question and answer session with jurors and security officers about their after-hours activities. The records showed that defense attorney Patrick Baker called for a mistrial after hearing the jurors' answers, but Judge Christopher Burnham denied the request. Myers, 31, of Ellettsville, was found guilty for the 2000 murder of IU student Jill Behrman later that day, Oct. 30. His sentencing hearing, during which he could receive 45 to 65 years in prison, is Friday.

Al-Sadr loyalists protest leader's meeting with Bush in Jordan

By Alyson Brodsy and Hamza Hendawi · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 10 p.m.

Lawmakers and Cabinet ministers loyal to anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr suspended participation in parliament and the government Wednesday to protest Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki's planned meeting with President George W. Bush. The leaders had been scheduled to hold talks in Amman, Jordan, on Wednesday, but the session was abruptly postponed a day shortly after Bush arrived. A statement from the 30 lawmakers and six Cabinet ministers said the meeting constituted a "provocation to the feelings of the Iraqi people and a violation of their constitutional rights." The statement did not explain that claim.

Authorities find traces of radiation on 2 British Airways jets in London

By Alyson Brodsy and Tariq Panja · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 9:59 p.m.

Authorities found traces of radiation on two British Airways jets, and the airline appealed Wednesday to tens of thousands of passengers who flew the aircraft to or from Moscow to come forward as investigators widened the search for clues into the poisoning death of a former Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko. The airline said the "risk to public health is low," adding that it was in the process of contacting tens of thousands of passengers who flew on the jets. Two planes at London's Heathrow Airport tested positive for traces of radiation, and a third plane has been taken out of service in Moscow awaiting examination, British Airways said in a statement.

Rock Showdown

By C. Warner Sills and Amanda Lowry · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 6:09 p.m.

A few years ago, publicizing a concert meant posting a million fliers to telephone poles, getting ads in local newspapers and telling your friends to come via word of mouth. Today, it also means posting MySpace with messages, getting videos on YouTube and spreading the word via E-mail mailing lists. Telecommunications professor Mark Deuze is thrilled about this shift in advertising, and he wants his students to see its potential for innovative marketing strategies.

Kramer v. Kramer:

By C. Warner Sills and Associated Press · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 6:07 p.m.

Comedian Michael Richards said Sunday he did not consider himself a racist, and that he was "shattered" by the comments he made to two young black men during a tirade at a Los Angeles comedy club. Richards appeared on the Rev. Jesse Jackson's nationally syndicated radio program, "Keep Hope Alive," as part of a series of apologies for the incident. He said he knew his comments hurt the black community, and hoped to meet with the two men. He told Jackson that he had not used the language before.

No observatory? No problem!

By C. Warner Sills and Michael Reschke · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 6:04 p.m.

The streets were quiet, the parking lots were empty and there was hardly a soul in sight at Kirkwood and Indiana avenues. It was early evening the day before Thanksgiving. Inside the Kirkwood Observatory, IU Astronomy department chairperson Catherine Pilachowski and graduate student Christian Johnson adjusted the 12-inch telescope. Twelve inches refers to the diameter of the telescope that won't be available to the eyes of the public again until spring break 2007. The Kirkwood Observatory will be closed for the winter, but that does not necessarily mean you are cut off from the heavens for the rest of the season. The skies are always open, and if you know what tools to use and where to go, you can enjoy the universe all winter long.

Love 'Love?' Can you match it?

By C. Warner Sills and Zack Teibloom · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 6:01 p.m.

I've always found "Octopus' Garden" to be a pretty average song. I mean, as far as Abbey Road goes. Then I heard the version on Love. Slowed down and mashed up with "Good Night," all of a sudden, Ringo sounds majestic. And perfect. It's moments like this and the seamless transition from Rubber Soul classics "Drive My Car" to "What You're Doing" to "The Word," all in one track that make this the most important Beatles release in over 30 years. Love is the perfect word for this compilation album. George Martin -- "the fifth Beatle" -- has done it again. It's not a best-of Beatles love songs collection or a re-hash of old songs like the Beatles 1 album. It's a mash-up, similar to what Danger Mouse tried to do when he created the Gray Album, which combined Jay-Z's Black Album with the Beatles' White Album, only ... this one is good. Really good. And who better to take on the imposing task of messing with the master tapes of all-time classic Beatles songs than Martin, with help from his son Giles?

The truth hurts but the film doesn't

By C. Warner Sills and Stuart McWhirter · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 5:59 p.m.

"An Inconvenient Truth" is one of the scariest films ever made. That said, it's not a slasher movie... it's a documentary. The film takes the viewer through former Vice President Al Gore's slide show on the effects of global warming on Earth. The slide show is inter-spliced with different montages of events in Gore's life that led him to become so adamant about this issue. He also provides examples of his time at college, and a certain professor that introduced the concept of global warming to him, which led to his lifetime commitment to it. He says in the film that he's probably shown slide shows regarding global warming "at least a thousand times."

Popcorn and JC

By Chris Wisner and compiled by Chris Wisner · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 5:58 p.m.

Perhaps the best thing about going into the theater to see "The Da Vinci Code" this past May was the fact that I had never read the novel. I simply couldn't buy into the hype; a book that was seemingly being read by one out of every five people, and an even scarier ratio, that one of out of every 50 probably thought the damn thing was real, despite its place on fiction shelves in bookstores worldwide. I also knew walking into the film that I just wanted to be entertained and have some fun, the likes of which can be provided by the "Indiana Jones" series.

So...pretty good

By C. Warner Sills and Brian J. McFillen · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 5:56 p.m.

Perhaps it's due to the extensive marketing for their (supposedly disappointing) compilation, Stop The Clocks, but with every listen to ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead's So Divided, I can't help but think of Oasis. It's not that the two sound similar per se. Rather, with So Divided, Trail Of Dead seem to have taken Oasis' road to success (for better or worse): forget originality, artistic merit or profound lyrics; just crank out visceral, well-crafted, satisfying rock that the listeners will like. Thus, before purchasing So Divided, you should consider where you fall in this dichotomy (don't worry -- there's no right answer).

Rice delivers masterpiece in sophomore album

By C. Warner Sills and Patrick Hurley · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 5:54 p.m.

Like many music fans, I was curious to check out Damien Rice's debut, O, back in 2003, having heard some good things about it. After giving Rice a chance and understanding what type of music he is attempting to create, I liked what I was hearing.

The 'Doctor' is in

By Eamonn Brennan · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 5:52 p.m.

On 2005's The Documentary, The Game became known for a few simple things: (1), a fantastic understanding of what made a rap song viscerally enjoyable; (2), the backing of OG Dr. Dre and New G 50 Cent, and (3), a tireless desire to name-drop anybody and everybody related to the rap game. Those combinations made The Documentary listenable, but not legendary; The Game, even in his first album, seemed far too comfortable in the clutches of Dre and 50 to produce anything serious or exciting. It was an entire album of by-the-numbers gangsta rap in desperate need of rebellion.

A king's reign ends with a whimper

By C. Warner Sills and Josh Millrod · Wednesday, Nov. 29,2006 5:50 p.m.

Jay-Z is the Michael Jordan of rap. After a long reign on top, Michael Jordan retired, tried his hand at playing baseball and being an executive and returned, slightly shamed and not quite as skilled to the game. After Def-Jam's crushing failure with Rick Ross' ill-conceived "Port of Miami," Jay-Z, the self-proclaimed MJ of rap, was forced out of retirement and Kingdom Come is his slightly shamed, not-quite-cutting-it attempt to breathe life into his talent-starved record label.