Cripes -- textbooks are getting expensive! Why, in an informal poll among us here at the editorial board HQ and former Texas book depository (not the one Kennedy was shot from -- the other one), we found that in our college careers we had spent the following on textbooks: $240,568.06, three diamond tiaras, a 1968 Dodge Charger, the Maltese Falcon, six livers (four were our own), three pints of sperm, a labridoodle named "Peaches," a flock of pygmy goats and a fully furnished lean-to, the starting lineup of the 1976 Cincinnati Reds, a glass eyeball taped to a stick (for looking around corners), five sensual foot massages, Picasso's Les Demoiselles d'Avignon, one and 3/4 immortal souls, the greater part of the Lesser Antilles and a signed picture of IDS editor in chief Rick Newkirk himself -- you know, that one where he's bronco-busting with his shirt off.