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The impending doom of my imaginary friends

By Michael Mellini and Whitney Mitchell · Thursday, April 5,2007 12 a.m.

Nearly a month ago, I realized the world was coming to an end. There I was, watching the last episode of "The OC." Julie Cooper went to college, Sandy and Kirsten gave birth to the WASPiest little girl ever, Ryan became an architect (so obvious, how did I not see that coming), and Seth and Summer eventually got married. My best friends were moving on with their lives and abandoning me. A tear rolled down my eye as I realized I would never chill at the Bait Shop, have a bagel in the Cohen kitchen or hide out in Marissa's lifeguard hut ever again. Be strong, I thought to myself, be strong. After all, this wasn't the first time I'd experienced loss. "Arrested Development" was canceled more than a year ago, and so far I've managed to survive. I assured myself I still had other TV friends to keep me company, and as I began to think of them, I realized they soon would be gone, too. I was speechless. Everything I have known and that has made up the last six or so years of my life would soon end. I would be alone in the world.

The Indiana Daily Student

Knight deserves due recognition

By Abra Oliver and Don Ueber · Thursday, April 5,2007 12 a.m.

As you might imagine, riots followed Bob Knight’s firing. Students stormed all over campus, from Assembly Hall to the president’s office to the stadium (where they tore down the goal posts). As police readied themselves to fight back with force and start making arrests, Knight requested to address the crowd. He sent the crowd home on the promise that he’d speak again later, which he did. Why? Because Robert Montgomery Knight is a class act. If you’ve ever had the misfortune of listening to Dick Vitale commentate an IU or a Texas Tech game, you’ve heard it before: Robert Montgomery Knight Assembly Hall. Perhaps the only intelligent thing to come out of Dicky V’s loud mouth, honoring Bob Knight seems only fair. After all, three of the five red banners hanging at the end of Assembly Hall belong to him. Forget about the chair throw, the Neil Reid “choking” and everything else the media shoves down your throat, and look at everything he’s accomplished. Three NCAA championships, 11 Big Ten conference championships, a four-time National Coach of the Year, 891 career wins. He took Texas Tech, a team with a losing record the prior season, to the NCAA tournament in his first year. He can coach (and his players graduate). As Indiana’s coaching dilemma has come to a close with savior Kelvin Sampson, and Knight’s career nears an end, it seems like an appropriate time to honor the legend and everything he’s done for our program. Other schools haven’t hesitated to honor their coaches. Duke’s court is named “Coach K Court” in honor of Coach Krzyzewski (who, I might add, played under Knight), and he hasn’t even retired yet. Whether you agree with Knight’s methods or not, he wins games. In fact, he’s the winningest coach in the history of men’s college basketball. It’s sad that he wasn’t able to accomplish that feat here at Indiana, where he collected 661 wins (to just 240 losses), but it’s not too late. We still have an opportunity to honor him by renaming Assembly Hall or, at the very least, the court. Don Ueber Sophomore

Anthem for Hot Topic

By Chris Green , Alexandra R. Moses and Deanna Martin · Thursday, April 5,2007 12 a.m.

Well, if anyone was wondering if Good Charlotte still sucks, take one guess. Karma's a bitch, because we're still forced to be subjected to this trash disguised as legitimate music. This is their fourth release in their 11-year existence and it seems like an eternity of headaches. From the get-go, we find the boys trading in pseudo-punk-rock guitars for dance beats that seemed to have been vomited out by a sleazy executive who works at Epic. Well, the pop-punk thing didn't work, so let's try something even worse. The new sound doesn't help their cause. It's the same old manufactured defecation.

The Indiana Daily Student

‘Lookout’ for your soul

By Abram Hess · Thursday, April 5,2007 12 a.m.

On Monday in Lookout Mountain, Ga., four activists from the militant homosexual liberties group Soulforce were arrested for trespassing on the campus of Covenant College. They had been participating in an “Equality Ride,” a seven-week tour of demonstrating and pamphleteering at Christian colleges and seminaries, with the intent of undermining those institutions’ commitment to biblical sexuality.

The Indiana Daily Student

Around the World

By Abisalom Omolo · Thursday, April 5,2007 12 a.m.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi held talks with Syria’s leader Wednesday despite White House objections.

The Indiana Daily Student

Playin’ it Shaffe with the Gotti boys

By Abra Oliver and Ben Kappes · Thursday, April 5,2007 12 a.m.

In response to “Go to hell, NASCAR (and stay there),” April 3: That’s it, Andrew Shaffer. I am putting my foot down. On a daily basis it becomes ever more excruciatingly painful to hear the opinions of a wannabe, god-awful sportswriter. Thanks for the picture in the IDS, as you appear to be wearing an MLB hat, but I have a gut feeling you never played a sport in your life. Maybe you played intramural basketball where you wore a pink polo shirt, but that doesn’t count. I bet you never ran 25 straight suicides during basketball practice, went through football two-a-days during the scorching months of an Indiana summer or dove for a fly ball. It’s sad to read the work of a sportswriter who received his limited knowledge by reading his old man’s Sports Illustrateds on the john. I sense that you and John Clayton would become fast friends. Andrew Shaffer writing about NASCAR is like Steve Irwin swimming with stingrays; they don’t mix. How the hell does someone from New Jersey even write about NASCAR? Shaffer said NASCAR should go to hell, but 75 million fans would disagree. NASCAR is the fastest growing American sport with drivers who possess the skill and coordination to handle speeds of 190 on 31 degree embankments for four hours. NASCAR is a multi-billion-dollar-a-year business, yet still embodies down-home blue-collar values. Shaffer wouldn’t understand these values, as growing up in New Jersey he probably only ate caviar and filet mignons after riding in his daddy’s Mercedes. He writes about Americans glamorizing the Jiffy Lube guy, but I would bet a good amount of cash he doesn’t talk crap about him when he is changing the oil in the Lexus his parents bought. Thank you, Andrew, for hating NASCAR, as I would never sit by someone at a race who is using hand sanitizer and drinking wine coolers while I’m pounding Budweiser cheering on the No. 8 Chevrolet of Dale Jr. with my shirt off. Andrew, maybe if I come to New Jersey, we can hang out with the Gotti boys and swap G-Unit chains and flat-billed Yankees hats. Ben Kappes Senior

Eric Gordon

Eric Gordon

By Brian Janosch · Wednesday, April 4,2007 11 a.m.

He’s a son. He’s a brother. He’s ridiculously good at basketball. More than anything, he’s proof that potential comes from somewhere.

The Indiana Daily Student

Renowned computer scientist named dean of informatics

By Ab D. Phillip · Wednesday, April 4,2007 12 a.m.

After an 11-month search, IU President Adam Herbert has named renowned computer scientist Robert Schnabel to be the new dean of the IU School of Informatics. Pending approval by the IU board of trustees, Schnabel will replace the school’s current and founding dean, Michael Dunn, who is retiring June 30.

The Indiana Daily Student

Theta Chi kitchen worker revived

By Paige Ingram · Wednesday, April 4,2007 12 a.m.

A Theta Chi fraternity cook lost consciousness Monday afternoon, requiring emergency assistance, an officer from the IU Police Department reported.

The Indiana Daily Student

'Bittersweet Symphony’

By Abra Oliver · Wednesday, April 4,2007 12 a.m.

IU’s Jacobs School of Music is no doubt a point of pride for the University. The school consistently ranks within the nation’s top programs, in the same realm as the Juilliard School, and the Eastman School of Music at the University of Rochester.

The Indiana Daily Student

Deodorant dilemma

By Julia Boriss · Wednesday, April 4,2007 12 a.m.

There are so many situations in life that make me feel defeated. When I’m ascending the steps of Ballantine Hall on my way to the third floor, I often find myself losing the will to keep going and am tempted to collapse midstep in surrender to the stampede. When I accidentally pull the cord on the bus a stop too early and everyone stares at me when nobody gets off, I want to crawl inside of myself and explode. But there is one place in life where I push aside all self-doubt and understand with complete confidence that I can truly be whoever I want to be: the deodorant aisle at Target.

The Indiana Daily Student

Around the World

By Abisalom Omolo · Wednesday, April 4,2007 12 a.m.

President Bush criticized House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s trip to Damascus, Syria on Tuesday, saying it sends mixed signals to President Bashar Assad. The trip was the highest-ranking American politician to visit Syria since relations began to deteriorate four years ago.

The Indiana Daily Student

IUPD: Man masturbated on C bus

By Paige Ingram · Wednesday, April 4,2007 12 a.m.

A woman reported to the IU Police Department on Tuesday that a man was masturbating and staring at her while the two were riding a Bloomington Transit bus.

Ashley Wilkerson

Leaky propane tank explodes

By Brian Spegele · Wednesday, April 4,2007 12 a.m.

TREVLAC, Ind. – A propane gas tank caught fire and exploded near several residences on Lake Lemon around 3 p.m. Tuesday, sending dozens of firefighters rushing to the scene.

The Indiana Daily Student

Lack of male educators spurs new IU class

By Kyle Doehla · Wednesday, April 4,2007 12 a.m.

Male teachers in the U.S. are at an all-time low, holding a meager 9 percent of elementary-school teaching positions and less than a quarter of all public-school teaching positions, according to the National Education Association. But Indiana has one of the highest percentages of male public-school teachers, at nearly 31 percent.

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