"The Sopranos"
(06/14/07 4:00am)
Season 1:
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The OC: Season 4: Oh see ya later
(06/07/07 4:00am)
If after the first episode of season 4 I had been told "The OC" would be cancelled within a few months, I wouldn't have cared at all. OK, that's a lie. I still would've been devastated, but with the direction the show was going, it would've been for the best. After all, Josh Schwartz and company had the stupid idea of not sending anyone to college (except Summer, who was quickly expelled) and killing off Marissa Cooper. Besides, the season's set-up leaves something to be desired. It is just so convenient that the first episode begins five months after Coop's death so the writers don't have to actually deal with the devastation the death of a girlfriend/best friend/daughter/social chair would cause. Instead, we see Ryan taking off to fight in cage matches, while Seth sits at home and Summer is transformed into an overzealous, earth-loving activist. Eww.\nBut then something incredible happens: the show starts getting good again, although it could never achieve the sheer brilliance of the first season. Julie Cooper and Ryan team up to hunt down Volchock, but resident morality god Sandy Cohen steps in to prevent their revenge-driven murder spree. Taylor Townsend isn't the best Coop replacement, and her relationship with Ryan is always awkward, but she shines in the episodes when her French husband comes seeking his "Peaches." Summer has an amusing pregnancy scare, causing her to tone down her hippie lifestyle, and Kirsten's pregnancy scare turns out to be real (a storyline that started way too late. Oh, what I would've done to witness more of pregnant Kiki and Sandy spewing his wondrous fatherly morals to baby Sophie!).\nThe last episode has the difficult task of wrapping up the series' loose ends. Although the writers never reveal if Ryan really was Theresa's baby's daddy, everything else is immaculate. Julie Cooper goes to college (thank God someone did), Seth and Summer tie the knot (wisely, only a glimpse of the wedding is shown, rather than devoting the entire episode to it) and Ryan becomes an architect (It was so perfectly obvious ... How did I not see it coming?). Everything comes full circle near the end, when Ryan approaches a troubled looking youth to ask "Hey kid, you all right?" It is absolutely perfect.\nI miss my friends already
So Long Sopranos
(06/07/07 4:00am)
Rarely are any departing characters on "The Sopranos" afforded the luxury of a funeral. Instead it's the bottom of the ocean, the middle of the woods or some other remote location that awaits them for their last earthly hurrah. \nBack in January of 1999, when the show premiered, HBO was still a luxury most households didn't have. While "The Sopranos" was hardly the network's first series, it wasn't until Tony and crew came along that HBO's original content gained such huge attention and eventually established its Sunday night reign, launching other favorites like "Six Feet Under" and "Entourage." The show's obvious attraction was its subject matter, which was rarely ever seen on network shows. Violence! Nudity! Swearing! More violence! The show more than earned its TV-MA rating, and it was for these reasons that as a sixth grader I was so initially drawn to the show (plus it was so much cooler than the other mobster-in-therapy offering, 1999's "Analyze This."). \nIt also was one of the first shows to really cash in on making its whole season available on DVD. My mom was horrified to walk down to our basement to find my group of 11-year-old friends enthralled by the show -- which just happened to be in the middle of a Bada Bing! scene. She snatched up the discs immediately, nervous about the hollering she'd most likely receive from the neighborhood parents if they found out she was letting us watch "The Sopranos" (we eventually went on a successful undercover mission to sneak into my parents' room and steal the box set back.). Soon, my parents gave up on the whole censorship thing, and we joined the many other American families who gathered to watch the show together. After all, it is essentially a family show, and we are Italian.\nIt didn't take long for me to look past the violence content and see how great the show's storylines and complex characters were. In movies, it is common for viewers to end up sympathizing with the villain after they learn about a traumatic childhood event or something, but never have audiences gotten so close to such a monster. The show has also always had great comedic wit sprinkled throughout its seriousness -- sometimes appropriate (Anthony Jr.'s spout of "what, no fuckin' ziti?"), and sometimes inappropriate (the hilarious spectacle that was Christopher's intervention). But anyone who's ever seen the show knows all this, so instead of rambling about its greatness, let's conclude with our favorite episodes and hope that someday Meadow will come to her senses and marry a good Italian boy (me), that somehow Adriana will be resurrected so we can hear her shouts of "CHRISTOFUH" and that Paulie will calm that temper. \nPrediction by Reviews Editor and wannabe gangster Brian Hettmansperger:\nIn a show where there is more whacking than a junior high student with an afternoon to himself (91 murders thus far), it seems the title character, Tony Soprano himself, is next. We here at WEEKEND say the only way for the show to go out is with Tony getting rubbed out. Here are the four best possibilities:\n• Phil Leotardo and Tony have a sit-down. Phil excuses himself to the bathroom, where a gun has been planted behind the toilet. Phil puts two in Tony's head.\n• Et tu Paulie? Paulie's loyalty has been questioned before, and I wouldn't put it past him to shoot Tony in the back and then join Phil's crew in New York.\n• Tony goes back to Dr. Melfi in need of more therapy. She refuses and kills Tony in self-defense with a pistol she's been carrying ever since she cut her services off with the depressed mob boss.\n• Tony's wife Carmela, fearing for her and her family's lives, offs Tony by running him down in her car.\nOut of the four hypotheses put forth, I like the Dr. Melfi one the best. She wasted some eight years trying to help a murderous sociopath, only to become a murderer herself. Tony Soprano has a way of turning those around him into criminals.\nHow do I think Tony will really die? Nothing as theatrical as the scenarios put forth here. \nPREDICTION: Tony will be gunned down by some of Phil's nameless goons. \nIn true "Sopranos" form, Tony's death will not be as "gangster" as those in the movies, but gangster enough to get the job done.
Third time: not so charming
(05/24/07 4:00am)
Opening with a sweeping, tracking shot of a knight riding through a lush, green forest with calming music in the background, "Shrek the Third" enters fairy tale land peacefully. Seconds later, however, the shot reveals that this quintessentially wholesome scene takes place at a crappy dinner theater. It's this zing that reminds us that this is a "Shrek" movie, not a conventional fairy tale. \nLike "Spider-man 3," "Shrek" has a little too much going on, and it strains to organize all its plot points cohesively. When the king of Far Far Away dies, he appoints Shrek (Mike Myers) to take over. Having no interest in being king, Shrek sets out with Donkey and Puss in Boots to find the only other heir to the throne, Fiona's teenage cousin Artie (Justin Timberlake.) While Shrek is away, Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) plots to regain power by becoming allies with several familiar fairy tale villains, and Fiona and her princess friends (Cinderella, Snow White, etc.) must try to fight him off until Shrek gets back. Such a complicated story line prevents the film from reaching its comedic potential. It starts and ends with very funny scenes (The ending also revolves around musical theater. Who knows? Maybe the upcoming Broadway "Shrek" musical might be pretty good), but much of the rest is just filler.\nAfter he hears Fiona is pregnant, Shrek spends much of the film worrying about becoming a father. The ogre baby scenes, as well as those featuring the weird dragon/donkey babies, are the film's highlights, but unfortunately they only appear as scattered dream sequences until the end. It would have been more fun to watch Shrek as a dad, rather than watching him fret about it. Stick around for the end credits − that's where the ogre babies shine. \nThe film is also guilty of recycling old jokes from the previous two films, but with amiable supporting characters like Pinocchio, the three little pigs and the Gingerbread man, this vice is easily forgiven. While I hate to put all the emphasis on voicework for a film that is so technically exceptional and wonderfully animated, the A-list cast all fit their roles perfectly, especially as new additions Merlin (Eric Idle) and Snow White (Amy Poehler).
"Lucky You": B-
(05/10/07 4:00am)
When a movie's release gets delayed for eight months, it's guaranteed to suck. With "Lucky You," I thought, because Curtis Hanson ("L.A. Confidential") directs from a screenplay he wrote with Eric Roth ("Munich"), perhaps it'd actually be a great movie Warner Brothers feared audiences wouldn't enjoy. Well, it's neither the expected disaster nor an unexpected surprise, but it doesn't deserve the bad reputation it's received.\nSet during the World Series of Poker, "Lucky You" follows rebel gambler Huck Cheever (Eric Bana) as he competes in the tournament against his father (Robert Duvall), who bailed on him and his mother. He's been mad at the world ever since and is so emotionally numb, he only thinks of poker and beating his old man. When aspiring lounge singer Billie (Drew Barrymore) shows up to woo him (no surprise here), he's too cold to connect.\nThere are reasons for the beating the film's taking. Bana's usually great acting is stale. He sounds like a pitiful aspiring actor blatantly reading a script (and why were three inches not cut off his mullet-ed hair?) Barrymore's Moral Molly character exists solely as a plot device meant to soften Bana. There's nothing realistic about her. She eats fortune cookies before her meal so she can think about the message as she eats and spews artificial insights like "I think everybody's just trying not to be lonely." \nDespite these drawbacks, "Lucky You" has a calming, pleasantness quality. It doesn't film Vegas as the 24/7-classy party-Playboy bunny place as "Entourage," "Ocean's Eleven" and so many others do. \nI like watching gambling in movies, but I hate watching real poker games on TV. The difference? In film, the game is filmed so you know when something good or bad has happened. On TV, you're supposed to understand how the game works, and no fancy camera work aids viewing. I'm card game illiterate, but the point is, the poker scenes are entertaining (even if there are about 3,000 of them).\nThis one's probably better for an afternoon rental, but when "Shrek" and "Pirates" are sold out in a few weeks, it's a decent alternative.
"Dreamgirls": Film: A | Extras: A
(05/10/07 4:00am)
Five months after its theatrical release, what's there left to say about "Dreamgirls" that hasn't already been said? By now we all know Jennifer Hudson is awesome, Eddie Murphy was robbed of his Oscar, and everyone was shocked when the movie was snubbed from the big category. Back in February, I agreed it didn't deserve to be a contender for the top race. With a second viewing, I have to ask myself, what the hell was I thinking?\nBased on the hit Broadway musical, "Dreamgirls" is a "Behind the Music"-style telling of the rise of a '60s girl group. Starting out as back-up singers, the women eventually get their own group due to their manager's desire to cross-over into the world of white pop music (this should all be review for anyone who took History of Rock 'n' Roll). When the group makes it big, it faces a Supremes-like situation as the lead singer Deena (Beyoncé) rises to the front, pushing back attitude-heavy diva Effie (Hudson).\nThere are two main problems with the film. It packs so much story line (spreading more than 13 years into two hours) that each plot point can't really be examined before it's time for the next problem. And, because the majority of the musical numbers take place during concerts, those that are spontaneous outburst of song feel a bit awkward at first. On second viewing, when you know these are to be expected, they're no longer an issue. \nDespite all the talent on screen, the real attraction is the music (forgive me J Hud). It's perfectly structured showstopper belter after showstopper belter (the transition from "It's All Over" to "And I am Telling You I'm Not Going" is 10 minutes of pure cinematic bliss). Oh, and there's the insanely detailed costumes (sequins, sequins everywhere), hair and makeup design (sequins, sequins everywhere), lighting and set design (seq … you get the point). It's hard to appreciate the meticulous design just from a regular viewing. That's why you need to get the two-disc "Showstopper" addition and watch the two-hour "Building the Dream" making-of feature that faithfully pays tribute to all the behind-the-scenes aspects. \nThere are scenes showing the sound recording process (although it's depressing to know that Jennifer wasn't actually belting out each time a scene is filmed), the choreography by Fatima Johnson (although no tutorial, aww shucks), set design and more. Plus, there's extended versions of many of the musical numbers (viewer fatigue my ass, these should've been included), actor's screen tests, storyboards, music videos and still more.\nIt's OK, nobody's looking, you can go grab that hairbrush and tear into "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" now.
Scrubbing in with Judy Reyes
(05/10/07 4:00am)
One-on-one with Carla from NBC's 'Scrubs.'
Summer sizzlers
(04/26/07 4:00am)
Next week might be the end of school -- meaning months of working and boredom for everyone heading home -- but it also marks the start of the summer movie season. Forget sitting poolside and soaking up some rays, go hide in the air-conditioned theaters. Here's a look at what's coming out in the next few months.
'Aqua Teen' too filling as a movie
(04/19/07 4:00am)
When it comes to "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," the bizarre cult hit from Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, you either love it or hate. At first I fell into the latter camp. I just didn't get it. Talking foods that live on the Jersey shore … huh? But after spending freshman year in the dorms where the show was on someone's TV at any and every moment of the day, I grew to love it (mainly due to the "Frat Aliens" episode). Now with "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters," the show is the latest of many TV comedies like "Reno 911" and "Borat" to hit the big screen. Unfortunately, it doesn't work as well as the others did.\nLike many TV shows transferred to the big screen, the film spoofs action movies by having the plot revolve around some doomsday/big adventure/save-the-day kind of thing. In this case, the show's main characters Frylock (Carey Means), Master Shake (Dana Snyder) and Meatwad (Dave Willis) stumble upon a Bowflex-like workout machine that, if assembled, will enslave mankind, forcing humans to work out 24/7. The machine eventually lays eggs and the crew tries to stop it with the help of series regulars The Mooninites and Plutonians. The movie makes the mistake of having the machine abduct the show's best character Carl, the middle-aged balding overweight neighbor, cutting his screen time drastically (thus only allowing for a few of his usually hilarious perverted comments).\nAnd just like any TV-to-screen transfer, there's the difficulty of turning a 30-minute show into a 90-minute one. That task is even harder for "Aqua Teen," considering the episodes usually last about eight minutes. This is what ultimately brings the movie down. A show like "Aqua Teen" isn't meant to revolve around a plot, rather it's better suited for a series of random events (which technically the film is, just in a different way). Ninety minutes is just too much for this. That being said, the movie does have its high points. The opening sequence is a vulgar throwback to those old "let's go to the concession stand" commercials that aired before movies, only this one has the soda telling you to suck on its straw and to beat the meat of the hotdog. Willis' vocal work as the young, naïve Meatwad (who usually just comes off as mentally challenged) is always good for a laugh, even when the dialogue isn't the best. \nBuying the DVDs might cost a few more dollars, but it's worth it. You'll have the choice to watch the show whenever and stop it as you like before it overstays its welcome. I left the theater as the end credits started, which I was later told was unwise. Apparently there are some funny scenes after the credits, so you might want to stick around for that. At the end, all I felt was a strong desire for another "South Park" movie and hope that "The Simpsons Movie" doesn't befall the same fate.
Vinnie Chase is back, baby
(04/12/07 4:00am)
Season 3 was the year that launched "Entourage" from a popular cable show to full-out pop culture phenomenon. By the time you read this, the second part of Season 3 will have already started (still not sure why HBO decided to split the season), but just in case you're still not caught up, go and rent these 12 episodes.\nThis set picks up as movie star Vincent Chase's first big blockbuster, "Aquaman," is released. The film is a huge hit and breaks "Spider-Man's" opening weekend record (which itself was, in real life, broken by the second "Pirates of the Caribean" a month after this episode originally aired) and Vince and company deal with the film's crazy success while trying to find a new project.\nMany of the episodes can be very frustrating as Vince struggles with the studios while trying to get out of filming "Aquaman 2" to act in his dream-project, "Medellin." With all the arguing back and forth between studios, Vince doesn't really work at all during the season. Another childhood friend/former criminal Dom shows up and shakes up the gang's established flow, and he's pretty annoying. But despite these few irritations, the show's dialogue is sharp as always, entertainment topics are relevant as hell, and all the lovable characters are back.\nAri (Jeremy Piven) is usually everyone's favorite character, but this year was hands-down all about Drama (Kevin Dillon). Even though I'd seen the episode where the boys head down to an air conditioner-less theater in the Valley to catch an "Aquaman" screen multiple times, I still nearly shit myself when Drama, towel draped over head, so calmly tells an audience member "sit down" right as they're about to exit for a bathroom break. The "Almost Famous" reference as they head to a high school party afterward to celebrate is great. \nThe show has always known exactly how to use guest stars, and this season is no different. James Cameron returns as the director of "Aquaman," while a pompous James Woods plays the film's villain. Penny Marshall, Ed Burns and many others stop by, and I don't really think I need to even come up with a way to describe Martin Landau as Bob "is that something you might be interested in" Ryan.\nAs the season goes on, "Queens Boulevard" gets a wide release (God, how I wish this movie was real) and Ari and Barbara Miller (Beverly D'Angelo) form their own agency, Miller-Gold ("Christ, we sound like a beer," Ari quips about the company's name), only to lose Vince as a client at the end of the season.\nSpecial features are as thin as the model extras sitting poolside. There's a few commentaries from series-creator Doug Elin and a "Vegas Baby Vegas" featurette following the boys' antics in Sin City, which was decent. I've always thought the show is better focusing on work than play.
Slumber party with Lindsay Lohan and Fergie
(04/12/07 4:00am)
Being the great son that I am, I headed back home last weekend to spend Easter with the fam, only to find out I'd be spending the weekend alone. Of all my friends from home, only one opted to make the trip back. And when I called her to see what she was doing, I was notified that she'd be spending her whole Friday night watching her recently purchased "The Complete First Season of Beverly Hills 90210." Sounded good enough to me, I had nothing else to do, but halfway through the night hanging out at the Peach Pit just wasn't cutting it for me. Maybe I couldn't handle that not one seemingly hot rich person didn't have some sort of hidden demons or those disgusting insanely patterned sweaters they loved so much or how awkward Tori Spelling looked back in her teens or how frustrated I got when Brenda couldn't locate Dylan at a hotel (come on, even Zack Morris had a cell phone). I took off early, but wasn't ready to call it a night. I knew there was no chance of any human contact, and suddenly it hit me -- a way to contact my celebrity friends I'd never even thought of before: MySpace. Everyone's on MySpace these days, surely my favorite celebrity friends would be, too. I put my pajamas on, pulled out my laptop and got in bed to have a slumber party with my friends.\nOne problem: I don't have a MySpace account. I'm a devout Facebook follower and have always viewed MySpace as the trashier version. But if I wanted to conduct my experiment, I'd have to cross over to the dark side and make an account. After going through the initial setup, I took out my camera, parted my hair slightly to the left over my eye, held my camera out in front of me, turned my head to the right and titled my chin slightly up to take the obligatory emo profile picture. \nWho would I friend first?! Since I'd been waiting in agony for the last week for the new "Entourage" episodes to start, I figured I'd start with Vinny, Drama, Turtle, E and Ari. Upon locating the "Entourage" page, my brilliant plan suddenly didn't seem so smart. The guys already had 67,586 friends. Clearly I wasn't the first person to have this idea. After adding the group as a friend, I was told I'd have to wait for their confirmation. What the hell? I felt so rejected. At least with Facebook an actual person has to check you out to see if they want to confirm the friendship; here I was trying to look good for a computer. So I moved on to Turtle's profile to find under his dislikes "I hate 'Viking Quest.'" I laughed about this for about five minutes and then noticed my friend request had been confirmed. Sweet.\nNext I decided to hit up Lindsay Lohan. Now Linds and I have hit a rough patch in the last few years, what with all her coke-whore partying, but back in her "Mean Girls" prime, I had quite the crush on La Lohan. No luck, all I could find was a bunch of fan Web sites. I settled for a made-up profile of Cady Heron, but clearly the 12 year-old girl who made this had no idea what she was doing.\nZach Braff's profile was exactly what I was looking for. Not only did he confirm he'd be back for a seventh season of "Scrubs" (YES!!!!!), but his blog was actually pretty funny and made me feel like I was having a conversation with the guy. Plus, he's friends with a bunch of super cool trendy indie musicians, most of whom were on the "Garden State" soundtrack, so I put on my square-rimmed glasses and clicked on one of their profiles. Being a huge Ben Folds fan, I opted for him.\nUnfortunately Ben's profile taught me what I would be learning for the next several hours from other people's profiles. Most celebs only use MySpace for PR purposes. They put up music clips, announce tour dates, offer merchandise, etc. My favorite comedian Sarah Silverman is still plugging her 2-year-old (but still amazing) movie, "Jesus is Magic," Kelly Clarkson offered no news of when we'll all be able to rock out to her new CD, and Britney Spears' profile is as blank as her scalp.\nMy MySpace adventure had clearly peaked. Most of the biggest celebrities (Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Aniston, Will Ferrell) don't even have profiles, and only a few seem to actually have any involvement with their own site. But then I realized maybe I was shooting too high. For the ultimate MySpace experience, I should be stalking, er, checking up on celebs who scream the epitome of MySpace. I found all the hoochiness I'd been seeking on Fergie's profile. Paris Hilton would surely be dishing dirt on her site, although surprisingly she fell into the album promotion category, which upset me, a.) because it was a wasted opportunity for celeb trash talking and, b.) I completely forgot she released an album, which sucks, because, um, well, I kind of thought "Stars are Blind" was awesome. Teeny Boppers/"High School Musical" stars Vanessa Hudgens and Corbin Bleu were all about letting fans know how "deep," "grown-up," and "mature" they are. Fall Out Boy's site felt more like Postsecret.com than a band's Web site. Even K-Fed's still pushing for a career on his Web site. (But where's the look at me now, I'm better than Britney banner across the page?.\nAfter hours of scrolling and clicking, I decided to call it a night. I learned that MySpace is more of an outlet for celebs' publicists, and if I wanted to actually pretend to be their friends and learn things about them, I should stick to their appearances on Letterman and Conan and stay updated through Us Weekly.
Cute animated penguin movie
(04/05/07 4:00am)
"Happy Feet" is one hell of a visually stunning movie. As a film snob, I occasionally like to complain about every animated movie now being CGI, but when films look this spectacular, there's no complaining necessary. The penguins look great; the arctic scenery is stunning and the fast-paced, soaring cinematography and editing help even more.\nAnd those penguins -- they're just too damn adorable. The first 20 minutes focusing on the main penguin, Mumble, as a baby are the most enjoyable because, well, who doesn't love cute baby penguins (although I got a little creeped out when I realized young Mumble is voiced by 45-year-old E.G. Dailey, who is also the voice of "Rugrats'" Tommy Pickles)?\nMumble (later voiced by Dailey and Elijah Wood) is shunned by the penguin community for not being able to sing, and thus will never find a soul mate. Mumble instead takes up tap dancing much to the dismay of his father (an Elvis-impersonating Hugh Jackman, who comes off more like "Full House's" Uncle Jesse than the King). When the penguins' food supply begins dwindling, Mumble sets out to find out why.\nHere's where I should complain about Robin Williams ruining yet another kids' movie with his over-the-top rambling voice-work, but this time it's actually entertaining. The movie also takes cues from "Moulin Rouge" by using contemporary pop songs from artists like Queen and Stevie Wonder for its musical scenes.\nEventually "Happy Feet" lets the viewer know that humans are horrible creatures. We're screwing up the world and killing everything in our path. A good, eco-friendly message, but the movie pushes it a little too hard. At the end I wanted to kill myself just for existing as a human; how is an 8-year-old watching this supposed to react? \nSpecial features include an unnecessarily deleted scene that pays tribute to Steve Irwin (who has a brief role), music videos from Prince and Gia Farrell, a segment focusing on the tap dancing choreograph, and the theatrical trailer (plus there's one for the new "Harry Potter" flick). But on a film so technically fascinating, where are the features documenting the animation and sound process?
The impending doom of my imaginary friends
(04/05/07 4:00am)
Nearly a month ago, I realized the world was coming to an end. There I was, watching the last episode of "The OC." Julie Cooper went to college, Sandy and Kirsten gave birth to the WASPiest little girl ever, Ryan became an architect (so obvious, how did I not see that coming), and Seth and Summer eventually got married. My best friends were moving on with their lives and abandoning me. A tear rolled down my eye as I realized I would never chill at the Bait Shop, have a bagel in the Cohen kitchen or hide out in Marissa's lifeguard hut ever again. Be strong, I thought to myself, be strong. After all, this wasn't the first time I'd experienced loss. "Arrested Development" was canceled more than a year ago, and so far I've managed to survive. I assured myself I still had other TV friends to keep me company, and as I began to think of them, I realized they soon would be gone, too. I was speechless. Everything I have known and that has made up the last six or so years of my life would soon end. I would be alone in the world.\nNegotiations still have not been finalized for new seasons of "Scrubs" or "Gilmore Girls." If J.D. and crew don't return, who's going to teach me life-lessons about growing up, working a full-time job and how to deal with relationships? (Come on, Zach Braff, you're one of the highest paid TV actors for a show that doesn't even have a huge audience. Put your film career on hold for one more year.) Rory Gilmer, Alexis Bledel (while I dislike acknowledging these are real people, for financial purposes it is necessary) isn't too keen on coming back for another season, which would mean I'll no longer have anyone who fully understands my love of pop culture, someone who understands my obscure references or someone to speak ridiculously fast-paced with. \nFortunately there's still hope for those two shows, but after June "The Sopranos" gets whacked (leaving no reason for my family to socialize -- notice that syllable at the end of my last name). This will be the last season of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and without that, I'll have trouble validating my socially unacceptable and awkward behavior by saying "If Larry would do it, it's OK." (So what if I've lied to a priest? Is it really that weird that I will never set foot in a Ballantine Hall bathroom?) \nIt's not that there won't be any good TV left, rather the contrary. "Lost" is still awesome, but my life is stressful enough without being cut off from civilization and having to hide from a group of sadist "others." It's always fun to gossip with the "Desperate Housewives" on Wysteria Lane, but because I'm not a middle-aged woman, I don't want my closest social circle to depend on baked goods and poker games. Pam and Jim may have fun tormenting Dwight and their "Office" co-workers, but I'd probably last about two weeks before I murdered everyone there out of frustration and awkward silence. Sure, the "Grey's Anatomy" doctors always have some huge drama going on, but Meredith and I are sworn enemies and the other characters kind of suck now, too. Izzie's been unforgivingly bitchy (and what kind of idiot gives away $8 million!?!), George got married (and what kind of idiot gets pissed at his wife for having $8 million!?!), and Dr. Bailey just doesn't use the word "va-jay-jay" enough lately. And even after I stuck with the show once it failed to kill off Meredith (so close! so close!), it gets rid of my favorite character, Addison Montgomery, by giving her own spin-off.
6 "Rocky's?" Hang it up
(03/29/07 4:00am)
When "Rocky Balboa" first hit theaters, everyone expected disaster and couldn't believe when the film earned positive response both critically and publicly. So I have to ask … am I watching the same movie? "Rocky Balboa" is no where near as terrible as it should've been, but … meh.\nNow in his 60s, Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) is washed up, running a small restaurant in Philly and mourning the death of Adrian. (Come on Sly, why kill her off? Talia Shire could use a career boost too being stuck in those Geico cavemen commercials.) When ESPN does a feature on a simulated fight between Rocky in his prime and current champion Mason Dixon (actual boxer Antonia Tarver,) the event is turned into a Vegas pay-per-view event. In the meantime Rocky struggles to patch up his relationship with his son (Milo Ventimiglia) while forming a new bond with a younger woman (Geraldine Huges) and her son (James Francis Kelly III).\nThe film is a good examination of growing old, never giving up and morality in general, but everything is extremely melodramatic. Every shot is doused in heavy, dark blue lighting. Rocky doesn't just miss his wife, he constantly relives every moment they shared together (no wonder the guy's so depressed). All this weepiness drains the energy the film needs upon entering the final fight scene. However, the power of "Gonna Fly Now" should never be underestimated. That song can work wonders on any scene.\nOn the director's commentary, Sly sounds a little too much like his alter-ego, boring and talking slowly. However, unlike most DVDs, the deleted and alternate scenes are actually worth watching. Certain scenes would have better explained the relationship between Rocky and his brother-in-law Pauli, and made that of Rocky's new friends less awkward. A making-of feature may be for film buffs only, but it's cool to see how the various sound effects are created and how camera angles are determined. Another making-of details the process of creating the video game fight sequence. It's creepy how real the segment looks. The special features made me like the film a little more than I initially did. Here's hoping the next Indiana Jones has a bit more success … or falls apart yet again before it even starts shooting.
If it's yellow, let it mellow
(03/01/07 5:00am)
Pixar and Disney dominate the animated movie scene, but the collaboration of DreamWorks and Aardman (responsible for the excellent "Wallace and Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit" and the unappreciated "Chicken Run") comes a close second. Unfortunately the studios split in October, making "Flushed Away" only their third, but final, film together (sigh).\nIn "Flushed Away" England's acting elite, and, er, Australia's and Scotland's and any other country we assume is English, come together to voice the rodents of Ratropolis. Hero Roddy (Hugh Jackman) is a pampered pet rat in London until he is accidentally flushed down the toilet, ending up in London's mini-city of a sewer system. Desperate to get back home, Roddy seeks the help of Rita (Kate Winslet), a tough boat captain. Rita is also being chased by villain The Toad (Ian McKellen), who has plans to destroy Ratropolis and let amphibians take over the rodent world.\nWhat makes "Flushed Away" fun should really drag it down, pardon the pun, the toilet. It's extremely chaotic, overly fast-paced without ever taking a breath and probably has a character too many. However, the script keeps everything controlled and the quirky characters are actually enjoyable rather than annoying like those of most kid movies. The singing slugs even give the tiny sea turtles from "Finding Nemo" a run for their money as cutest cartoons.\nAnd like most children's films, there are dozens of pop culture references to other films, but the spoofing is funny because it actually puts good use to parody rather than just recognizing it as a necessity for adult audiences (I'm looking at you "Shark Tale").\n The city of Ratropolis, based on London, is meticulously detailed and the clay animated characters (although CGI was used as well) all look great, taking on the Aardman signature style (round eyes, square-ish jaws, etc.). Too bad there's no special feature following the making of the city and the animation. Instead there's an enjoyable look at the making of the film's music (not a typical feature for your kid flick) that includes both the score and actual songs (which focus on Hugh Jackman's vocal talent -- something film audiences rarely get to see in his action films --the guy does have a Tony!). Those adorable slugs are back in two unused songs, but this barely lasts a minute and only includes the songs' choruses. And just in case kids haven't begged their parents into buying every DreamWorks animation title, there's a DreamWorks's jukebox that features musical moments from films like "Shrek" and "Madagascar"
Let them eat DVD
(02/22/07 5:00am)
Ladies and gentlemen, I present the most underappreciated film of 2006: "Marie Antoinette." Those supposed people who booed the film during its Cannes premiere are idiots.\n"Marie Antoinette" (played by Kirsten Dunst) is a great relief from the overdramatic crop of biopics that come along these days. It's even hard to call it a biopic. "Antoinette" doesn't focus on the political ups and downs of France's most notorious queen, rather it uses the character as a device to tell the story of an imprisoned young girl struggling to live in her trapped world (cough, a young Sofia Coppola in Hollywood after being slammed for "The Godfather: Part III," cough). This technique does something most biopics fail to achieve. Because there aren't constant meltdowns, it feels as if we're actually peering into a day in the life of Antoinette. And what an interesting life it is. At age 14, young Marie is married off to Louis XVI (a perfectly awkward Jason Schwartzman) and expected to immediately produce an heir. When she constantly feels out of place and is ignored by her husband, Marie does the smart thing by going numb and becoming France's biggest socialite. This is the best issue of US Weekly you'll ever read.\nWhich brings us to the eye candy. I can't think of any film that's more visually appealing than "Marie Antoinette." Milena Canonero better take home the Oscar for costume design this Sunday and it's amazing that Laurence Azouvy and the rest of the makeup department wasn't even nominated. While the film was shot on location in Versailles, the crew was forced to supply its own furniture (the set is fantastic thanks to decorator Véronique Melery). Viewing all the intricate details will leave you in a wonderful state of tranquility.\nCoppola uses an eclectic supporting cast rather than having everyone speak in French accents. Many performances such as those from Rip Torn (as Louis XV), Marianne Faithfull (as Marie's mother) and Judy Davis (as Comtesse de Noailles) deserved Oscar attention but weren't substantial enough.\nThe film is scored with a mixture of the obligatory classical music and more contemporary indie rock such as The Strokes, Bow Wow Wow and Adam and the Ants. This adds even more to the sensual experience.\nBecause politics are hardly ever mentioned, it is a bit awkward when villagers finally storm the castle, demanding Antoinette's head. This is easily fixed with the film's final image. Rather than showing Antoinette sent to the guillotine, Coppola uses a simple shot of a broken door, table turned over and slightly destroyed room to represent the end of an era.\nSpecial features include a making-of feature following Coppola (who really has no personality, but dad/executive producer Frances Ford Coppola shows up), a hilarious "MTV Cribz" spoof touring Versailles, two deleted scenes and two trailers (which were the best of the year.)\nRent the movie, take a bath, put on some pajamas, wrap yourself in a blanket, pour a glass of wine and lounge in luxury just like Antoinette.
Funny Capote flick flops
(02/22/07 5:00am)
I didn't want to make the "Infamous" vs. "Capote" decision until the end of this review, but since "Capote" was far superior in its style and execution, I can't help but make the comparison up front.\n"Infamous" is more concerned with author Truman Capote's (Toby Jones) life as part of the New York social scene than his deep psychological relationship and struggle to write his nonfiction novel-style book, "In Cold Blood." Capote's flamboyance is played up so much that he seems like an even more cartoonish version of Beverly Leslie from "Will and Grace." However, this helps emphasize just how out of place Capote was in the small Kansas town where the murders his book investigates took place (there's an amusing scene where Capote discovers the only cheese available in a supermarket is Velveeta).\nThroughout the film, annoying documentary-style interviews from Capote's supposedly famous friends (played by a bevy of celebrities, such as Sigourney Weaver and Isabella Rosellini) are used to tell the audience about Capote. Unfortunately, these interviews give no real insight into the character, rather they just inform us that Capote knew a lot of movie stars and had a large interest in fashion.\nThe film never really seems to address the seriousness of Capote's situation and uses a plucky, uplifting score rather than something with a darker, more somber tone. Even when Capote connects with the killer, Perry Smith (Daniel Craig), he never seems too torn up inside.\nJones does a fine job with the role, even when it is camped up, but yet again it pales in comparison to Phillip Seymour Hoffman's Oscar-winning version. As Capote's best friend and novelist Harper Lee, Sandra Bullock exaggerates the Southern accent slightly too much. However, "Infamous" lets Lee be more vocal than Catherine Keener was in "Capote," allowing the character to have more of a purpose than travel partner.\n"Infamous" is slim in the special features department, offering only a director's commentary from Douglas McGrath and the theatrical trailer. Couldn't they find an A&E special on Capote or something similar to include?
R.I.P. OC
(02/22/07 5:00am)
Tonight I will be doing something I didn't expect would happen for several years to come. It will be the last time I get to sit down with Seth, Ryan, Summer, Marissa, Taylor and the rest of the Newport residents of "The OC."\nDo you have your Death Cab For Cutie playing in the background? OK, we can begin the farewell. Let's think back 3 1/2 short years ago to the summer of 2003. Nick and Jessica were still together, Ashton Kutcher was still cool, and in the far off magical land of Chino, (cue gritty cinematography) 16-year-old Ryan Atwood was stealing his first car. Yes, it was this illegal act that brought our mute rebel to the home of his affluent defense attorney Sandy Cohen. And it was this crime that started one of the best series of the past few years (hey, don't laugh). The show was an instant success thanks to its appeal as both a fun, trashy soap opera but one that was smart enough to make you feel guilty for watching it. Ahh, the irony of Seth, the sarcasm of Sandy, the many husbands of Julie Cooper.\nBack during the first season, punches were thrown every 10 seconds, Ryan apparently didn't know how to look straight ahead, Seth was still a nerd, Holly still existed. Things were great. So what happened? Easy answer, the show was a hit from the start. Fox assumed it would remain one, thus sent executive producer Josh Schwartz to work on similar rip-offs like "North Shore." Taking away its post-"American Idol" Wednesday slots didn't help either, and matching it up against "Grey's Anatomy" this season was the final nail in the coffin. Oh yeah, and season three totally sucked creatively. Killing Marissa Cooper?! Who the hell's idea was that (they didn't even write social chair on her grave!)? And then the show skipped ahead five months after her death so it wouldn't have to deal with the devastating effect killing a main character would have on the rest of the group. How is it that not one of the four main characters made it to a full year of college?\nThis is what disappointed me the most. You see, I've always had a deep connection with these characters. The show started their junior year of high school, the same time I was a junior in high school (although they did have a random third year at Harbor, placing me a year ahead). I come from a from a fairly affluent town similar to Newport (only it's freezing in the Midwest). I, too, had a period where I wore nothing but wifebeaters (that's a lie, I'd be more likely to have my own talking toy horse like Captain Oats), and I often imagined myself as the fifth friend. (No, I have not sought psychological help yet.) So when they failed to go to college and move on with their lives, I, too, felt as if I failed (after all, here I was staying in on Thursday nights to watch their lives instead of barhopping with my real friends). Then I realized maybe I was jealous that they were still living in Newport together. Sure, they're "working," but really they just get to live off their rich parents and go to the beach a lot. Bastards. But rather than end the relationship with anger, let's look back at the 10 best episodes of "The OC." Play the song.\n10. "The Nana" (Season 1): Why Linda Lavlin as Nana Cohen wasn't a series regular is a mystery to me. Marissa finds out her mom and ex-boyfriend Luke (who moved to Oregon and never came back) did the dirty.\n9. "The Debut" (Season 1): Newport is known for its lucrative fundraisers that only help the rich. This cotillion brought Seth closer to Summer but also introduced him to the oh-look-at-me-with-my-short-hair-and-wool-sweater-I'm-so-trendy-and-cool-gross-gross Anna.\n8. "The French Connection" (Season 4): I was never a huge fan of Taylor replacing Marissa, but it's hard to deny the comedy of her French ex-husband's tell-all sex novel.\n7. "The Safe Harbor" (Season 3): Not all of season three sucked, like this episode where Marissa gets kicked out of Harbor and drags Ryan down with her.\n6. "The O.Sea"/"The Dearly Beloved" (Season 2): The one where Caleb dies, which was depressing, but seeing Julie jump into the pool of that insane orange mansion moments after she tried poisoning him was great (especially with Coldplay's then-new song "Fix You" playing in the background.) And if that wasn't enough, Marissa shot Ryan's creepy brother Trey after a rape attempt (yet another perfect use of music, this time Imogen Heap).\n5. "The Ties That Bind" (Season 1): The first-season finale saw Julie and Caleb get hitched, Seth leave Newport on his sailboat (hey, whatever happened to the Summer Breeze?) and Ryan head back to Chino to take care of Theresa's baby (poor Theresa, I always liked you).\n4. "The Chrismukkah That Almost Wasn't" (Season 2): The best of all the Cohens' made-up holidays. Summer saves the day, the group discovers Ryan's new girlfriend is Kirsten's long lost sister (bleech) and yarmulkes a plenty.\n3. "The Third Wheel" (Season 1): Oh, the Oliver fiasco? What a psycho. Rooney performs (pre-Bait Shop), setting a standard for the rest of the many musical guests.\n2. "The Escape" (Season 1): After a vacation to Tijuana, Ryan discovers Marissa OD'ing in a dark alley. Who knew she'd actually die two years later?\n1. "The Rainy Day Women" (Season 2): After almost running off to Italy with new boyfriend Zach, Summer flees the airport to find Seth hanging upside down after slipping off the roof, and they re-enact the upside-down "Spiderman" kiss.
Oscar Season: Little Miss Overrated!
(02/01/07 5:00am)
For a movie-goer, Oscar season is like bulimia: There's so much great cinema, glamorous movie stars and Billy Crystal to gorge on, but when your favorites are overlooked and the ceremony is overexposed, Oscar, too, can leave you drained, feeling empty and crying in a bathroom stall. \nAnd the nominees are...\n"Little Miss Sunshine?" Little Miss #$@%&*$ Sunshine? I can't believe it has been nominated for Best Picture. I still don't. Upon reading the nominees, I let out a yell of rage to the surprise of many extremely frightened students sitting in a Ballantine computer lab. Why? Why did this happen? The ruthless for-your-consideration marketing campaign obviously helped. If only the film was as good as its bright yellow poster. No film this year received more undeserved audience and critic adoration. Oh, what a quirky little original indie comedy, people raved. No! The film was anything but that, what with its intentionally contrived characters. A father who divides people into winners or losers, a silent Nietzsche-worshiping teenager, a horny grandpa, among others -- all designed to be so artificially over the top that they become real. Only I didn't fall for the trick. \nTruthfully the movie wasn't terrible. I understand why people find it funny and little Abigail Breslin was fantastic, but is this really one of the top five movies of the year? There were much better films that could have taken up that fifth slot. \nYet, as undeserved as the nomination is, some good does come from it. The Academy is finally recognizing old-fashioned comedy. It's no secret that the Academy isn't the biggest fan of humor. Of the past 50 Best Picture nominees, only nine can be considered comedies and these include movies such as "Life is Beautiful" and "Shakespeare in Love" (which don't necessarily scream happiness). It's great the Academy is learning to smile, but why couldn't the nod have been given to "Borat," hands-down the funniest, smartest movie of the year? And no acting nod for Sacha Baron Cohen? Yes, the foreigner impression is funny, but also consider the danger Cohen put himself in and his insane improv skills. \nThe other four top contenders include "Babel," "The Departed," "The Queen" and another unworthy film, "Letters from Iwo Jima." Now don't get me wrong, "Letters" was an excellent film, but we shouldn't be talking about it until next year. The second part of Clint Eastwood's Iwo Jima epic wasn't supposed to come out until mid-February. But when "Flags of Our Fathers" tanked at the box office (and it just plain sucked), all its Oscar chances were shot down. Warner Bros. then moved the "Letters" release date up to make it eligible for contention, a sneaky albeit very wise move. The Academy loves Clint and he is a great filmmaker. But there's a good chance they'll give him yet another Oscar and well, to be cliché, it's about time Martin Scorsese gets his. Alejandro González Iñárritu deserves the win for "Babel," but if the Academy plans on giving Scorsese an actual Oscar instead of a lifetime achievement award, "The Departed" is the film to do it for. It's a flashback to his older great gangster films and far surpasses his other recent efforts. \n"Little Miss Sunshine's" inclusion meant "Dreamgirls" got kicked out of the top race, but this isn't as big a surprise as people are making it up to be. The film didn't live up to the high prestige its Cannes preview suggested. So much drama was packed into two short hours that the storyline was extremely rushed. The movie was still great though, mainly because of Eddie Murphy and Jennifer Hudson. It's no secret Murphy can sing, he's been doing it since his "Saturday Night Live" days, but he finally put his voice to good use (although "Party All the Time" still rocks). And Miss Hudson, well, her voice is … hard to describe. At the end of "And I am Telling You I'm Not Going," I went to turn to my friend to say "Wow." Only instead of forming words, a giant wad of spit shot out of my mouth. The film still earned the most nominations, mainly because of three Best Song nominees. Beyonce's "Listen" was a no-brainer, but the addition of the wonderful "Love You I Do" means Hudson will be performing as well (insert 867 exclamation points here). \nNo big upsets came in the lead acting categories, although Ryan Gosling was included for "Half Nelson." Initially it was feared that not enough voters had seen the film. Same thing happened last year for "Junebug's" Amy Adams. Here's a new campaign technique: Don't try to get nominated; complain that while you deserve a nomination, it's doubtful it will happen. Voters might throw in a sympathy vote or not want to be the one's who overlooked something great. Helen Mirren and Forest Whitaker still appear to be virtual locks, although (and here's where I go to hell) Whitaker's performance as dictator Idi Amin wouldn't have been half as terrifying if it weren't for his lazy eye.\nDirk Diggler himself, Mark Wahlberg, might be able to accept a different kind of golden statue than he did in "Boogie Nights" for his supporting actor nomination for "The Departed." I was hoping co-star Martin Sheen's much more calm and subtle work would've gotten the nod, but since Warner was pushing for either Wahlberg or Jack Nicholson, Sheen didn't have much of a chance. Other overlooked performances include Emily Blunt and Stanley Tucci in "The Devil Wears Prada" (it's no easy feat to give Meryl a run for her money), Michael Sheen for "The Queen" (creepy how much he resembled Tony Blair), Aaron Eckhart's suave skills in "Thank You For Smoking" and the lack of recognition in general for "Volver." Although Penelope Cruz is nominated, the film deserved much more, including a supporting nod for Lola Dueñas and screenplay and direction for Pedro Almodóvar's insanely original story. Somehow it is inexplicably excluded from the foreign language film race. Constant omission of some favorites always leaves me wishing there could be more than five nominee slots. Also when calling the Academy dumb, I always have to remind myself that this is the combined opinion of thousands of voters, not one single person. At the same time, that means more than one person thought in such idiotic ways. \nFor the most part, the nominees are predictable, but predictability comes for a reason: Those nominated really do deserve it. "The Departed" was such a great mindfuck of a movie I felt like my own parents might murder me. "The Queen" is a fascinating examination of old-time morals and how easily public opinion can be swayed by the media. The scene in "Babel" demonstrating the world of a deaf girl on ecstasy is astonishing. I'm off to inject myself with whatever it is that keeps Joan Rivers going this time of the year.
P.S. I love Playstation
(02/01/07 5:00am)
I'm not a very experimental person. I enjoy predictability and while Sony has made vast improvements in its different video game systems, the model remains relatively similar: disc games and the same incarnation of controllers. Playstations are my comfort food. It's hard to believe that two letters and a number (PS3) could bring so much happiness into one's life. The graphics are creepily realistic, game controls aren't overly impossible and the controllers are now wireless and extremely light. On the downside, the system itself is a beast. The size isn't a huge deal, as the system just sits on a shelf, although someday soon that shelf may break. To go along with its HD-capable clarity is the ability to play new BluRay DVDs, although with movies costing about $35, this feature will go unused until prices drop.\nUpon encountering the Nintendo Wii, I was expecting to be amazed by its motion-censor capabilities, but to be overly tired by the end of gameplay. To ask someone who's spent 19 years of video-gaming on a couch to get up and move around is asking a lot. But after playing "Wii Sports," I felt that perhaps I had purchased the wrong gaming system. The PS3 offers some motion-censored activity but not much (free throws in "NBA2K7" require the player to shoot in a throwing motion). It is so much fun to bowl realistically, plus I kicked ass at it. "Mario Tennis" is one of the greatest games ever, but Wii allows players to actually practice their backhand and have a Richie Tenenbaum-style meltdown if their game goes downhill. It doesn't take that much effort to move your arm back and forth. I didn't like playing baseball -- and here's why some younger kids might not enjoy Wii -- because it actually required some athletic skill, and well, I suck at baseball. All those unathletic 10-year-olds who escape sports through video games may soon be experiencing some temporary embarrassment when they strike out constantly.\nUnfortunately, the fun of Wii sports didn't transfer as much for regular games. In "Call of Duty 3" for Playstation 3, the battles are so frighteningly real I often have to pause to go shudder in a fetal position in the corner. On Wii, it was impossible to figure out how to actually play. I died as quickly as I would have if I were actually in a war. The graphics for Wii's "Duty" were nowhere near as impressive as those of the PS3. The cartoonish look might work for "Wii Sports" and any of the creepily super-happy fun type of games Nintendo releases, but not for action-packed titles.\nI've never been a huge X-Box fan for the sole reason that I've only played a few times. I'm extremely jealous of the large variety of games 360 offers, but PS3 is still brand new, so give it a few months and more titles will be available. Hopefully these new releases will include "Gears of War" and "Lost Planet." Both imagine a world that's been inhabited by giant bugs and are extremely entertaining.
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