Spring break screw up

I’m really good at airport security.

My uncle, who practically travels for a living, took me under his wing once. His lessons have become a Ten Commandments of sorts, Travel Edition.

Thou shalt use the Expert Traveler lane at the Indianapolis airport and smile deviously as you cut in front of all the casual travelers.

Thou shalt have thy boarding pass and ID in hand.

Thou shalt wear slip-on shoes and a light jacket — no belt or watch.

Thou shalt not put anything in thy pants pockets, but shall place all items in those of thy jacket, which thou shalt remove and place in a bin.

Thou shalt skip that quart-size baggy, 3.5-ounce liquid toiletry balderdash and pack only the Big Four — toothbrush, razor, deodorant and contact case. Everything else thou shalt beg from the front desk of thy hotel or thy gracious host.

Thou shalt remove thy laptop for screening, but thy iPad may remain in thy bag.

It’s that last one that got me over spring break.

As good as I am at airport security, I’m bound to make a mistake once in a while.

But this one was a big, gargantuan, gut-drops-through-the-floor-when-you-realize-it mistake.

Six hours and 350 miles after I went through the North Terminal security checkpoint at Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport I realized something was missing from my carry-on backpack.

I had left my laptop computer, my lovely MacBook Pro, sitting in a security bin at the busiest airport in the world.

Few things make you feel quite so powerless as being 350 miles and multiple levels of security clearance away from solving a major problem.

Immediately, I filed a lost and found claim with the terminal corporation, changed every password I could think of and convinced a family member to head back to the airport — a trip we both assumed would be entirely fruitless.

My laptop was gone — sucked into the void of air travel bureaucracy, doomed to decompose on a dusty lost-and-found shelf for eternity.

I was going to have to send one of those pathetic OnCourse messages begging my classmates for their notes. Except my excuse was actually going to be true.

And then, suddenly, I wasn’t.

Someone, some amazingly honest, awesome person, turned my laptop in. Two hours after I realized it was missing, it was safe and sound at home.

Yes, I’ll probably have to spend the rest of the semester awkwardly computer-less, but the alternative was much worse.

Cynic that I am, I have a hard time believing there are still people out there who will go out of their way to look out for others, especially in the notoriously self-centered and harried world of airport security.

Clearly, I’m wrong.

Clearly, I need to add one more Travelling Commandment: Thou shalt return thy laptop to thy bag after it has been screened.

And clearly I owe one upstanding Atlanta airport patron a drink or 200.

­— drlreed@indiana.edu