Fourth of July First Aid

As a former lifeguard at Indianapolis’ largest and rowdiest public pool, I think I can safely say I’ve seen (and treated) it all.

The week of Fourth of July is always one of the craziest of the summer, the insanity culminating in the holiday itself.

If you want to avoid any emergency room trips on our national holiday, follow this list of frequently asked questions. It will help you pull off your shenanigans (relatively) safely and legally.

1) What do I do if a firework burns/mangles/attacks me in some way?

First of all, if you’re going to play with fire, make sure you’re allowed to do so.

Google it. Getting ticketed, fined or arrested for illegal firework use is probably the lamest thing I’ve ever heard.

After you’ve determined you can endanger your life and all your limbs without getting in trouble with the law, make sure you read the directions on your fireworks.
A lot of people get burned because they think the firework isn’t working. They duck in to try and relight it when suddenly, it explodes.

Give it at least 30 seconds before you go back in.

If all else fails, be ready to stop, drop and roll, like a kindergartner on a field trip to the
fire station.

If you’re dumb enough to get hit by a firework, the most important thing to do is identify how bad your burn is.

If it’s red and stinging and looks like you got hit by a whip, run it under some cold water, cover it with gauze and stop crying. It will be fine.

If it’s blistering, splotchy and full of pus, or if it’s any kind of burn on your face or groin/butt (oh god), it’s a second-degree burn.

As long as your second-degree burn is smaller than 3 inches, you can treat it the same way as a first-degree burn. If it’s any larger — what were you setting off, anyway? — seek medical attention.

Third-degree burns often look charred and darkened or have a chalky white appearance. Sometimes these burns go through to the bone or muscle tissue.

Don’t ever try to take clothing off third-degree burns, and don’t put water on them. Get to a doctor immediately.

Burn treatment, like much of first aid, is common sense.

Don’t pop your blisters, don’t put ice directly on your burns, and don’t put creams or ointments on them — even the medicated ones can cause infections.

Most importantly, make sure you’re sober enough to be using fireworks.

2) “So, I accidentally blew my finger off with a firework/cut it off with the watermelon knife/my arm is missing and I don’t know why.”

You’re probably bleeding a lot. Stopping your blood from happily escaping the confines of your body is goal number one.

Don’t try to make a tourniquet. You likely don’t know how and you may accidentally kill whatever body part it’s on in the process.

Find gauze or the closest thing to it — cloth will work if you’re in a pinch — and use it to staunch your bleeding. Just layer more cloth on; don’t take any you’ve already applied off the wound.

Next, search around a little bit and see if you can find your missing digit. Wrap it up, then put it on ice.

This principal also applies if you’ve gotten into a patriotic brawl with the people in the next trailer over and you find yourself missing a tooth.

Don’t ever put a severed body part directly on ice; you might give it frostbite or kill it.

If you get this part right, there’s still a chance you could have ten fingers again by the end of the day.

Obviously, you should have called 911 by this point.

3) “I sat out in the sun and I’m too drunk and my skin is red and I feel funny. What do I do?”

You’re likely sunburned and dehydrated. Go inside and drink some water, or more ideally, a sports drink of some sort. Apply Aloe gel to all your sunburned parts — you can get it at most drugstores.

If you’re pretty sure what you’re feeling is more than inebriation and too much tanning, you might be on your way to sun poisoning or heat stroke.

If it’s a red rash that’s blistered, swollen or peeling, or if you are having chills and nausea, it’s sun poisoning. Get inside and take your clothes off. Exposing hurting areas to air is good.

You can use some sort of bandage (gauze) to cover it up. If there aren’t open wounds, cool, wet towels on the skin will help.

Your problem could also be heat exhaustion. Treat it almost the same way as sun poisoning — it’s all about going inside, drinking non-alcoholic and non-caffeinated fluids — I’m looking at you, Four Loko — and  cooling off.

Heat Stroke is another matter.

Its symptoms are severe enough to mimic a heart attack and the skin will feel hot and dry, like the body is burning from the inside (which it is).

Get help as fast as you can, and apply ice packs to the groin, neck and armpits in the meantime.

4) There’s a huge, weird ship firing torpedoes into my swimming pool. What is happening, and should I kiss my ass goodbye?

It’s Independence Day, and you better hope Will Smith is around to save you. In the meantime, have a cold one, do one last cannonball and celebrate not being human slaves to an alien overlord. Because in the end, that’s what the day’s all about!

by Kelly Fritz
kelfritz@indiana.edu