Anti-DST revolution

Spring is coming, and this means a few things: namely, it’s going to get warmer, it’s going to rain and the bugs will be back soon.

This also means the annoying songbirds will be back to wake you up in the morning when you’re hung over. Soon, women will start shaving their legs, and men will start trimming their toenails. It will be shorts and sandals season in a month.

The worst thing that will come out of the month of March is Daylight Saving Time. It’s this BS idea made up by some dude in the 1700s. I think his name was Benjamin Frankfurt or something.

Anyway, did you know Indiana didn’t even recognize DST until 2006? Did you also know Bloomington used to be on Central Standard Time? Let me explain why this is important.

Before 2006, Indiana had only two things going for it: it didn’t observe Daylight Saving Time, and it was split between the Central and Eastern Time Zones. The logic was that half of the state did its business with Chicago and the other half of the state worked with Ohio. Driving to Indianapolis from Bloomington was like time traveling.

Without DST, you only had to set the time on a clock once. Then you never had to touch it again until it broke. Without DST, your favorite shows came on an hour earlier starting in March. Most importantly, when you woke up the sun was already out. Overall, without Daylight Savings we were much more efficient. But Mitch Daniels, secret Democrat and governor of Indiana, decided he would like to ruin your mornings.

Coincidentally, a few things happened after we made the switch to Eastern Daylight Time. First, in 2006, Baron Hill, current 9th district congressman of Indiana, won against then-Rep. Mike Sodrel, R-Ind. Then in 2008, Barack Obama, a birth-certificateless Democrat, won Indiana. This was the first time since 1964 that a Democrat won Indiana in the general election. Indiana used to be a conservative stronghold. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

Now it’s 2010, and the controversy is not over. I’ve come up with an ingenious protest. If you have an 8 a.m. class and hate getting up before the sun, join me. Show some solidarity; don’t set your clocks forward. If you have to miss your class, so be it. This isn’t just for students, this is for everyone. Just because you’re a professor doesn’t mean you like waking up in darkness either. Tell the administration you’re not observing Daylight Saving Time. We’ve been saving up time for a while now, let’s start spending it.

But will this really work? I don’t know. The odds are against us. There has never been a state that has given up on DST after adopting it.

E-mail: nicjacob@indiana.edu