21st-century dance moves

It's fun. It burns carbs. And whether you're alone in your room with that special someone or some random dude at a party, you love it. Yes, dancing (get your head out of the gutter!) is one of the greatest social and cultural customs of any generation.\nBut what dance defines our postmodern society?\nDuring an episode of "Veronica Mars," the TV series that focuses on a teen detective, the protagonist was on a mission to find the rapist of her roommate. During a sorority party she faked being drunk and grinded on some females. While keeping her cover, she told the viewers that "the '70s had the hustle; the '80s, the moonwalk. We have the faux lesbian dance."\nI giggled but then quickly thought to myself, surely our generation won't be remembered for such a tacky thing.\nIn addition to the faux lesbian dance, there are a handful of other shameful steps I hope my grandchildren will not ask me about.\nI would like the awful concoction that is "Dance Dance Revolution" to be wiped out. For those of you who are not familiar with "DDR," it is an interactive video game in which one mechanically taps his or her feet to given arrows to some of the most disgraceful music of all time. It's pretty much a meager attempt to dance for those that lack rhythm. And it's coming to a mall near you. Be afraid. Be very afraid.\nMaybe we'll be remembered for the much cooler hip-hop-inspired dancing that influenced films such as "Save the Last Dance" and "You Got Served." During my junior-high years, anyone who was anyone held a "booty-dancing" birthday party. Sadly, real hip-hop dancing is too complex for the masses to grasp. Just look at that little girl in the Missy Elliot videos, or anyone who can do the Harlem Shake.\nIn its amateur form, booty dancing is shameless dry humping.\nFaux lesbian dances aren't looking so bad after all.\nBut more recently, several song titles have coincided with more easily duplicated hip-hop moves. Dem Franchize Boyz' "Lean Wit It Rock Wit It" and UNK's "Walk It Out" have even allowed those lacking rhythm to appear cool. \nPerhaps cheesy line dances will define our generation. The chicken dance, electric slide, Macarena and cha-cha slide will forever haunt high-school dances, skate centers and bar mitzvahs. What will hopefully make up for them is Da Entourage's 2002 hit "Bunny Hop." \nWhile there are a handful of excellent current dances, the amount of embarrassing moves is still astonishing. Modern dances don't even require that much depth or complexity -- just something fun, simple and aesthetically appealing. \nWith that in mind, I am urging everyone, wallflowers and dancing queens alike, to get on the dance floor and shake your tail feather, drop it like it's hot, ride the train -- whatever. Just get your backs of the wall, 'cause Stefania said so.