Online Only: All the rage

There are a number of things that can set people's tempers blaring here at IU.\nSome people get behind the wheel of car and begin displaying obscene cases of road rage. Perfectly understandable at times, especially here in Bloomington -- like when certain people can't get their Ugg(ly)-boot-encased lead feet to function properly while simultaneously driving, attempting to see over their sunglasses and talking to their best friends on their cell phones about how they hope that frat boy they slept with last week didn't give them herpes. It's quite normal to experience some road rage in such conditions, as long as you don't go around shooting people in Bryan Park over it or something. \nOr sometimes the geeky quiet kid in the corner of your classroom gets on his bike and develops a serious case of bike rage. That's just too bad; maybe bikers shouldn't be biking directly in front of cars, backing up traffic on Third Street from Indiana to Jordan when I'm -- er, people -- are trying to get to class. They really should knock it off. Sometimes "accidents" can happen. (Insert maniacal laughter here.) \nJoking, joking, I'm not that pissed off at campus bikers. \nHowever, I am a unique breed. I suffer from computer-lab rage. Yes, indeedy. \nI'm sitting in my room typing this right now when I could be in the computer lab at the Indiana Memorial Union. But I'm not at the computer lab at the IMU. Want to know why?\nBecause the computer lab is full of those very same girls who can't drive, in their pretty pastel North Face fleeces discussing their latest jungle-juice chugging and table-dancing exploits. And want to know what they're doing? \nThey're on Facebook. Constantly. One time, I finished a five-page paper in approximately an hour and a half while sitting next to some idiot who thought the lights in the IMU posed enough of a glare threat for her to wear her bug-eye sunglasses inside while on her cell phone and browsing through her friend's skankylicious Facebook albums. \nEither these people can't read the signs that say "Academic Work Only" or they think they and their friends' latest party pictures are more important than the 27 people waiting outside in line to do legitimate schoolwork. I really don't see how the pictures are that important anyway. Oh look, here's your fake-baked orange friend holding a can of beer. Oh look, here's your fake-baked orange friend taking a shot. Oh look, here's your fake-baked orange friend drinking something pink with an umbrella in it. Like, OMG, OMG, it's like, so cute. So hot. Yeah, baby. \nDo they not realize how incredibly pathetic they look sitting in the middle of a room where people are sitting quietly doing things that require brain power instead of applying lip gloss? \nI guess they truly don't. \nI'm not saying that the worst thing in the world you could do is take up other people's time and resources in an IU computer lab looking at people's Facebook pictures. \nAt least it's not MySpace.