Raising the bar

I understand that there's a time and place to voice the implications of gender, and to effectually present a lecture on such.\nOnly recently, however, have I been adhering to it (lecturing Grandma at her 90th birthday party, for indicating that successful wives should always prepare dinner for their husbands, was a poor choice...).\nSince I turned 21 in February, I've had the opportunity to spend many an hour at Bloomington's fine bars. It is crowded bars that, to me, provide the greatest venue for observation through a gender studies lens. The behavioral implications at such places are huge! \nStill, I've found that discussing such topics while at the bars -- with even the least-intoxicated friends -- is difficult. So I must unload here. Granted I seem to become more articulate, or at least passionate, about the topic with a shot of tequila or seven.\nTypically at bars, I see many women with (at least an attempt at) flawless looks: perfectly curled or straightened hair, fantastically-toned bodies showcased in clothes that could fit my three-year-old niece. \nThis I do not mean to criticize. I know there's a certain pleasure in "getting pretty" and going out to be looked at and sexualized by heterosexual men -- who, for the most part, are wearing the same outfits they wore to class the day before.\nWhat is unfortunate, and what I want to consider -- and, well, force other women to consider -- is that the pleasure taken in such, and the compulsion to appear attractive that many women feel, is part of a cultural conditioning fueled by consumerism and perpetuated by popular culture mediums.\nIt is as author (among other things) John Berger says: "Men act and women appear."\nAt the bars, this seems to ring especially true. Some women will prepare for hours to masquerade at these social scenes. This is not to say men never do, but it's fairly safe to say it happens less frequently.\nI've heard male peers say before that it's actually the women who are the empowered ones -- being bought drinks, and looked at and hoped for. But what is the depth and longevity of power attained from one's appearance? Surely, it must be shallow and empty.\nThe truth is, I used to feel inadequate in comparison to my female peers who consistently dressed and groomed better than myself. I'm a big T-shirt wearer and have yet to successfully use a hair straightener. \nFortunately, I've been enlightened by a couple years of cultural studies courses and have attained a certain unbreakable confidence and dignity. Rarely now do I feel compelled to compare my hair, my body, my attire to anyone else's.\nAgain, I don't criticize women (or men) who spend hours on their appearance. I just wonder what's really driving them. I wonder for whom are they really doing it. The guys? Themselves? Their female peers? Who?