Reality not what it used to be

As I slowly approach adulthood, I'm trying to get a handle on what this so-called "real world" is actually like. I'm trying to ascertain what it will be like to live in this new and foreign world.\nIn an attempt to learn about this realm of the real, one would think a show called "Real World" would be a great source. It could teach me the lessons I was searching for and instruct me in the ways of reality.\nAs a middle-schooler, I had turned to "Real World" as a slice of life, as a sort of how-to manual for adulthood. Oh how I longed for the days ahead when I could live like these people. I related to them; I was in awe of them; I wanted to be them.\nSo I turned on MTV the other day to watch the show I had neglected for so long and once again gain a glimpse into the "Real World."\nMan was that a raging disappointment.\nThe show I had idolized in high school is an absolute sham -- it's nothing more than a collection of the biggest neurotics MTV can find living in a ridiculously posh mansion. If this is reality, I'm not sure I want to sign up. \nThe kid from "Ghostwriter" is on there. What's real about that? And as big of a crush as I had on him when I was a freckly 10-year-old, I find his involvement in anything labeled "real" a giant farce.\nAs a freckly 21-year-old, I now realize that the reason I loved the people -- and they are people, not characters -- on "Real World" when I was 12 was because we were on the exact same maturity level.\nI mean, who other than immature children act like these people: throwing temper tantrums, arguing over who has to the clean the bathroom, calling people names behind their backs and pretending to love them to their faces.\nOK, maybe some people act like that, but not to the extent these drama-queens do. They'll get into a half-hour argument about how by eating someone else's eggs, you disrespected them and how if you disrespect them again there's going to be a price to pay.\nNewsflash: They're eggs!\nAnd what's with these people's complete inability to be faithful in their relationships? If I hear one more of them complain about how hard it is to stay faithful for so long while they're so far away . . .\nTip: Just keep your tongue out of other people's mouths! It's that simple.\nBasically, MTV's version of the real world is one in which all grasp of reality has lapsed. It's one in which a lot of beautiful, naked people have an endless supply of alcohol to drink when they're not at the great job dropped in their laps, to which they never go but from which they never get fired. It's one in which someone sends them on the vacation of a lifetime that they waste arguing over who used who's toothpaste.\nAnd the worst part is that some of the people who were on early episodes of "Real World" were actually trying to make a difference. Remember Pedro? I wonder what he'd think of CT.\nIn the end, I've realized that MTV's reality isn't anything like what I want in my real world, and it doesn't have to be. I'll make my own reality.