Requiem for lost passion

It's pretty sad when you start using work (i.e., writing a newspaper column) as an excuse to procrastinate when you've got more pressing work (i.e., writing a paper). But after having cleaned my room, gone out to eat, watched a movie, conversed with my neighbors, gone shopping and made a list of potential future non-paper-writing activities, I have found no further recourse and so have started writing. I have come to the conclusion that, contrary to the popular opinion of those outside of the university system, college destroys an individual's ability to think originally.\nThere once was a time when I had an enthusiasm for learning -- when I had yet to be grizzled by the cold realities of my surroundings -- war, strife, tyrannical teachers, Bill O'Reilly. I call the time third grade. When I was in elementary school I was one of those kids who would do extra credit book reports the teacher never assigned, just because a subject struck my fancy. This fact meant you could look me up in the school directory under the heading "nerd" (I was cross-listed under "teacher's pet"), but it did not mean I was alone in my now-dwindled energy and enthusiasm. Some kids had book reports, others had science projects, many had sports, some had something different every week. We all had a passion, even though we were all too young to realize what it was.\nThey say you should always follow your passion -- find something that is the last thing you think about before going to sleep and find a way to do it for your whole life. I agree with that ambiguous "they," but their advice needs a bit of qualification. Follow your passion, but be prepared to defend it at every turn against disillusionment and your own laziness.\nDisillusionment comes from the sheer quantity of "must"s imposed by academic institutions and society at large during early adulthood. You must get good grades, must do extracurricular activities, must get a master's degree, must get a good job. \nWhen my parents were in school, the average college class was graded by a midterm, final and one paper. Thanks to the speed and ease of research in the internet age, my average class has three or four papers and the exams haven't gone anywhere. Passion gets lost in the constant, unending work required to check an item off of that laundry list of "must"s. \nI can't remember the last paper I wrote that I didn't know I could have written better, had I had the time. And I'm one of the good ones. According to the Center for Academic Integrity, almost 80 percent of college students admit to cheating at least once. I'd bet many of those felt they just didn't have the time to do the work themselves.\n This semester I had resolved to break free of the barrage of unending work, this competitive mentality sacrificing quality in favor of a race to complete the list of "must"s. I was going to do real learning, rather than get stuck in an approach to academics that only fosters shoddy work and academic dishonesty. I was going to have an easy semester -- write fewer papers, but make each one really good. It would be like third grade all over again.\nUnfortunately, I've become so used to constantly plugging away on autopilot and churning out mindless drivel rather than original thoughts that I've found myself unable to so much as think about this paper any time before the 11th hour. Which, by the looks of my clock, is right about now. \nIf you'll excuse me, I've got writing to do. If I have time left over, maybe I'll look for that passion stuff.