The Declaration of War

Although he did give his 48-hour ultimatum speech before we bombed Iraq, George W. Bush never really drafted a formal declaration of war. I think this is a practice long forgotten in the history of the United States. I see no reason why something as civilized as war should be degraded by receiving just a simple warning. Sun Tzu's "Art of War" is a testament to the idea that there is a certain style, a certain panache, required to initiate war. I think we should continue the tradition of war declarations, so I've taken it upon myself to draft such a document for Mr. Bush for purposes of posterity. Hopefully it will suffice, for I know that my foreign policy skills are nowhere near the caliber of our nation's president.\nThe War Resolution:\nDeclaring that a state of war exists between the Government of Iraq and the Government of the United States and making provisions to prosecute the same.\nWhereas the President of the United States is giving Saddam Hussein 48 hours to vacate Iraq.\nWhereas the President of the United States knows full well that Saddam Hussein is not going to vacate Iraq within the 48 hours.\nWhereas the governing body of Iraq has proven itself to be a corrupt and unjust force. Saddam Hussein, his contemporaries and his military are likely harboring weapons of mass death and destruction. Coalition forces will find these weapons by bombing anything and everything to a state of smoldering rubble. This attack can and will likely result in civilian casualties. Iraqi civilians should be well advised to stay away from any structure resembling a government facility, school, marketplace or anything resembling a building for that matter.\nWhereas the Government of the United States is asking the Iraqi military for a fair and balanced war free from the use of chemical weapons and false surrenders.\nWhereas the Government of the United States will make sure all non-threatening civilians of Iraq are given life-sustaining provisions upon the arrival of coalition forces. Providing food and water will be top priority as troops roll through and greet the welcoming civilians. Again, due to possible casualties, civilians should be advised not to come running toward coalition forces demanding such necessities in their native tongue as it will result in their deaths.\nWhereas the coalition forces, not the United Nations, will establish a central government after Hussein and his regime are overthrown. This government will be modeled after the immense success of the post-war government imposed in Afghanistan after Operation Enduring Freedom.\n Whereas the Government of the United States wishes that this be known to the Iraqi people: They will soon reap the benefits of democracy. Soon they will be able to enjoy life free from oppression until a new leader, brash and unfaithful, takes control sometime after coalition forces depart from Iraq. Upon this leader's arrival, the U.S. government will reward him with all of the money and artillery needed in order to maintain a stable central Government.\nTherefore, let it be resolved by the President of the United States of America that a state of war between the Government of the United States and the Government of Iraq which has thus been wrought upon the United States is hereby formally declared. The President is hereby authorized and directed to make use of all necessary military forces to carry on war against the Government of Iraq and to bring a successful end to this conflict.