Gulf Wars: The Preview

In the wake of the Oscars, which we all know is the most important event in the history of mankind, I've created a movie pitch for the consideration of the Academy.\nThe following preview has been rated 'W' (pronounced "dubya") by the Motion Picture Association of America and U.S. Government. Mental discretion is advised.\nIn a world ruled by chaos, destruction and greed, a government is forced to go against the wishes of thousands and thousands of people from all walks of life.\nGeorge W. Bush -- He's a cutthroat vigilante hell-bent on finishing off what his father started: "After all, this is the guy who tried to kill my dad!"\nSaddam Hussein -- He's back and willing to do whatever it takes to defend his country: "Today you are standing in a position that would please the friend and would anger the enemy and all the infidels."\nFrom the son of the U.S. President who brought you "Gulf Wars: Episode I -- Operation Desert Storm" comes a motion picture unprecedented in the history of television news coverage. The United States Department of Defense proudly brings you "Gulf Wars: Episode II -- Operation Iraqi Freedom."\nSee massive amounts of war coverage whether you like it or not! There's more video commentary than the Warren Commission! Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the NCAA basketball tournament, you thought wrong! Dan Rather broke in when news broke out about shifting weather patterns and five-degree climate drop in a location he can't disclose!\nFeel the heartache of NBC's decision to show photos of slain U.S. soldiers! If it bleeds it leads! It's all about the ratings folks, and the news networks are trying to make an honest buck by glorifying the deaths of U.S. soldiers. You may think you're bearing witness to excellence in broadcast journalism, but it's all about the greenbacks, my friend!\nHear the screams of Iraqi women and children fleeing Baghdad as misguided missiles and bombs rain upon their homes, businesses and schools!\nShock and Awe at the billions and billions of taxpayer dollars spent by the U.S. government to fund the war General Tommy Franks calls "unlike any other in history!"\nTaste the patriotic goodness of freedom fries and freedom toast available at your local government cafeteria! Who needs the French? Donald Rumsfeld says bringing the Frenchies along is "like going deer hunting without your accordion."\nTouch the lives of innocent Iraqi civilians by donating to groups like the American Friends Service Committee, UNICEF, Doctors without Borders and the Red Cross. You can also visit www.usocares.org to show your support for the U.S. soldiers!\nGeorge W. Bush is U.S. President George W. Bush. Colin Powell is Secretary of State Colin Powell. Donald Rumsfeld is Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. Tommy Franks is U.S. Army General Tommy Franks. Saddam Hussein, Muhammad Akin, Sa'ood Al-Ala, Is'haaq Inaam, Rishak Ferrad and Tawseef Amjad are all playing the role of the ruthless tyrant Saddam Hussein.\n"Gulf Wars: Episode II -- Operation Iraqi Freedom" has an all-star soundtrack featuring country music giants like Charlie Daniels, Tobey Keith and Darryl Worley! Due to a breach in their contract agreement, the Dixie Chicks will not be included in this release.\nComing Soon! A special limited collector's edition DVD featuring hours of unused B-roll footage and a special commentary track from Oscar-winning filmmaker Michael Moore: "Shame on you Mr. Bush, shame on you"