Take a moment to reflect on life

He stood in the woods on a lonely Sunday night. Only 15 feet from the home where he grew into a man, he stood still, alone, for the last time. \nMoments later, he loaded the handgun bought for his family's protection from all of the harm that this crazy world can bring. He gripped a cordless phone in the other hand, although he never made a final call. As the trees quivered and the wind blew, his single shot to the head shattered the serenity around him and his body went cold.\nHe would be found hours later by his brother, coming to see how he was doing as he retreated into the woods at his parents' house -- hiding from a shaky relationship with a wife he adored and a son who was his best friend.\nLeaving only a note proclaiming love for the whole family, he left this earth Sunday, Nov. 11, never saying a final goodbye or leaving an explanation for why there seemed to be no other way.\n"But there is always another way," his distraught son and a best friend of mine told me a day later. \nThrough tears of sadness and anger he explained to me that it didn't have to be like this, that his dad should have known there could have been another way.\nI don't know what made me pick up the phone and call him Monday, the day after.\nIt's crazy how 659.25 miles away from each other people can have this connection, to know when to call if not what to say when comfort is impossible. \nHe didn't answer the phone when I called so I left a message about boy problems, my hatred for cold weather and my dreams of going somewhere warmer for New Year's. \nAll of these problems seem so petty and ridiculous now in the light of the bigger issues, the true sadness, that breaks hearts and injures families permanently. \nHe called me back and told me the terrible news and with tears shared on both sides of the phone, we talked about life and love and why there is always a way out. In the conversation I tried to think of what to say to lend support, to reassure him that indeed as faith promises, everything will get better.\nUnable to find the right words, I started to apologize for whining about my petty problems in the message I left.\nHe explained that since this happened he has gone to class and he feels like he is in a different realm of reality from his classmates. He sees them on their cell phones griping about girls who did them wrong or zits or traffic in downtown Richmond.\nIt's sad that it often takes one massive, destructive event to put life into perspective. When tragedy strikes, all of the daily mini disasters turn into blessings. So goes this crazy, ever-changing game of life. Potholes, loopholes, disasters and daily traumas that really aren't traumatic at all. \nI would think that everything with Sept. 11 would have put more of the trivial things into perspective. But here I am, two months later, worried about when my new cell phone will arrive and why this guy keeps dogging me. It is sad how easily the focus of life can get shifted and what is really important is lost in the mess of gadgets and who is seen where at what party with which people.\nI challenge you (and myself) to take time to continue to put our trivial problems into perspective. There is a bigger picture, it is time we all step back and take a look at it.