Running from the fight

Oh, George. He really screwed up this time.\n I mean, every other thing he's done to make himself look like an idiot was foul smelling and ludicrous, but still managed somehow to rest cozily on the boarder of endearing.\nWhen he couldn't name the leaders of four geo-political hot spots, it was stupid but cute.\nWhen he told a bunch of school kids to preserve instead of persevere, it was foolish but lovable.\nWhen he made fun of a woman Texas put to death in the electric chair, it was vicious, disgusting and amoral … well, I can't think of a redeeming quality for that one.\n Details aside, Bush has managed to scrape through this campaign season by playing off his weaknesses as the byproduct of good ol' American grit and straightforwardness. Karen Hughes, his press secretary, even had the gall to say that when he used vulgarity to describe a New York Times reporter, it was a prime example of the kind of straight talk he would give the electorate. \nClever, George. Very Clever.\nBut now I find myself in a quandary. Now that Bush has done something thoroughly and inexcusably embarrassing, should I shrug my shoulders and think to myself, "It had to happen sooner or later"? Or, should it shock me that the master tightrope walker has finally fallen to his chagrin, pushed off balance by the issue of presidential debates?\nHonestly, I am shocked. It's a lot like when the Republicans forgot to fund the 2000 census. Now, it's in the Constitution that we have to have a census every 10 years; and yet, come 1999, the Republican House leadership could be found running around like lemmings, screaming at each other about there not being enough money to do the count. They knew it was coming!\nSimilarly, Bush, and more importantly his campaign staff, knew the debates were on their way. And they also knew for a long time they didn't want to deal with them. Not only is Bush light on the substance that debates demand, but Al Gore's middle name is, "When I'm at a Podium, I Will Eat You for Breakfast." \nBut you know, it's not like you can be the leader of the Free World without some kind of test ' some event by which you prove you've got the stuff to go one on one with people such as Russia's Vladimir Putin, China's Jiang Zemin and TV's Oprah. At this point, Bush is acting as though he couldn't even handle the heat with David Letterman's sidekick, Paul Shaffer. \nBush's idea of a debate was some kind of prime time forum moderated by none other than Larry King. No, not Larry King the distinguished journalist. Yes, Larry King the CNN talk show host who made a fine art out of asking people, "What's it gotta\' be like to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and see somebody famous looking back?"\nYes, the Larry King whose guests have included Sally Jessy Raphael, Jerry Lewis and Tom Selleck. Oh, nothing is wrong with the old Lare-meister. It's just, when you pick your president, it should happen along with the distinguished trappings inspired by people who work for PBS. \nWhat Bush didn't want you to know is this: In the late 1980s, a bipartisan commission was established to insure the fairness of presidential debates. This organization has, in the past, arranged for each race to have three prime time debates, each shown simultaneously on all major networks (Hey, sometimes you have to play dirty so people won't sneak and watch "Friends" instead.) and hosted by a distinguished moderator. Each was exemplary in its respect to the candidates and the American people. \nBut the thought of a real intellectual confrontation was no daydream for Bush. He complained the format should be more relaxed and the location of one of the planned debates was too close to the Kennedy Presidential Library. Apparently, he was afraid the Democratic boogie man lived there … you know, the one who likes to eat Republican presidential candidates for dinner. \nCome on, Gov. If the thought of debating Al Gore gave you the willies, then why do you think you're ready for the toughest job in the world? Many people in this country want a strong leader. You want to pal around with Larry King and get all teary eyed when he asks you what it's like to pick up your father's old fight.\nThank goodness Dubya was finally shamed into some real debates. It would be a pity if he were able to get away with making a sham out of democracy and deliberation. More importantly, imagine the message he would have sent if he hadn't debated.\n"Excuse me, Professor. I really think the format of this test should be easier. Instead of asking me to defend my position, can't I just tell you how great it is to be an American? Oh, and I'd also like to move to another classroom. This one is too intimidating"