Professors: a field guide
While traveling through campus, students will come across many different professors. Having been here a couple of years, I would like to inform the newer students about the various species of professors. I can hardly describe every type of professor, so I have selected the most well known of the species. This is not meant to offend anyone, so I hope readers will not read too far into my descriptions. The first type of professor I would like to describe to you is the generic, no frills, professor. Generic professors are usually unexcitable, and never discuss life outside of the classroom. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a generic professor. Aside from their sleep-inducing monotone voice, you will not have any problems from these docile creatures. The next type of professor is the absent professor. Yes, I said absent professor, not absent-minded professor. You will rarely see this type in the classroom as they have their associate instructor minions to herd their students. These professors are usually researchers so they have more important things to do like translate Beowulf or calculate pi to the billionth decimal. Absent professors are very attainable during their office hours. Make sure to take note of these hours as you will rarely see them otherwise.
