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(10/08/07 3:59am)
When a college student wagers on a sporting event, it’s usually not a bet of substantial value. But two Bloomington bars made a bigger wager on the Cleveland Indians-New York Yankees American League Division Series playoff series Thursday night.\nIf the Yankees win, Yogi’s Grill and Bar will host a party for 20 Nick’s English Hut employees. If the Indians win, Nick’s will host the party for 20 Yogi’s employees and foot the bill. \nThe Yankees and Indians are competing to move on to the American League Championship Series.\nThe reason for the rivalry is history. \nMike “Mugs” Hall began watching and following the Yankees in the glory days of Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris of the late 1950s. Yogi’s owner and manager Chris Karl grew up watching Indians games via satellite in his Northern Ohio hometown. He saw 155 of 162 Indians games this year. \n“Only missed seven games,” Karl said. “Four games because they weren’t televised, two because I was out of town and the last game of the season that didn’t matter.”\nStuck in the middle of the wager is Yogi’s bartender and WGCL AM 1370 sports talk radio show host Mike Glasscott. A bartender who regularly engages his patrons with in-depth sports analysis, Glasscott is one of the few Yankees fans in Yogi’s Indians’ country. \n“I feel like I’m in that Tom Hanks’ movie ‘Castaway,’” Glasscott said. \nThe wager began tipping in Yogi’s favor after Friday’s game, when the Indians took a 2-0 lead in the best of five series. But with a Yankees win Sunday night they only need two more wins to advance, and the next game will be played in New York.\nGlasscott said he is glad the Yankees made the series competitive and avoided the sweep. As a Yankees fan and a Yogi’s employee, he doesn’t care who hosts the party.\n“Both bars are great,” Glasscott said. “It’s great to see the staffs interested in baseball games that aren’t the Cubs.”
(10/02/07 3:00pm)
Maybe you’ve always thought you could have it both ways, but do your workouts at the SRSC three days a week really make up for those alcohol-soaked weekends of excess? While this health tug-of-war might be working in the interim, IU Health Center nutritionist Bobbie Saccone revealed to INside that the largest contributor to unwanted weight gain among college students is excessive drinking. INside decided to take a closer look.
(09/27/07 4:00am)
et's be real: Everybody has those guilty-pleasure, secret movie indulgences. These films usually involve a combination of Chad Michael Murray and any one of a variety of teen flops (Hilary, Lindsay, etc.). These movies are a unique concoction of bad acting, bad writing and bad plots with really cute clothes and boys. "Sydney White" is one of those bad movies. It's so bad that it's actually enjoyable. Of course, the part I found most enjoyable was the remarkable number of snide comments I found myself uttering throughout the 90-minute cringe-fest. \nAmanda Bynes plays Sydney White, a doe-eyed, unnaturally orange tomboy raised by her plumber father and his construction worker buddies. Obviously her mother died early on in her daughter's life, leaving Sydney clueless about the hierarchy and regulations of girl world, which she is abruptly thrown into as she begins her freshman year at her mother's alma mater. Nostalgic for her mother's spirit, Sydney rushes the same sorority (Kappa Phi Nu) in hopes of following in her footsteps. \nThe Kappa president and queen of campus Rachel Witchburn (Sara Paxton) immediately marks Sydney as her enemy when she spots her flirting with her ex-boyfriend Eric Prince (Matt Long). Sydney gets dismissed from her entirely blonde pledge class and moves in with the seven male outcasts living at the end of Greek row in a dilapidated shack. The seven dorks, ranging from grumpy to creepy, are mesmerized by the female specimen living in their attic.\nSydney leads a campus-wide, anti-greek revolution, but only after facing many instances of social suicide and the inevitable identity crisis. As if the original title ("Sydney White and the Seven Dorks") doesn't make the movie predictable enough, I found myself able to complete the lines every few minutes.\nBynes' voice is more annoying than I recall from her years on Nickelodeon's "All That," which is hard to believe. And I found it odd that her character prided herself on her tomboyish-ness while sparkly blue eye shadow seemed permanently stuck to her eyelids and her lips were perpetually glossed. \n"Sydney White" is that terrible yet perfect fluff movie, sugary-sweet to the point of cavities, and, in general, something to laugh at, not with. If you cannot brave the embarrassment of actually purchasing a ticket to see it, I would recommend waiting until it comes out on video (and even then you might consider Netflixing it).
(09/13/07 4:00am)
Listening to the new Kanye record is like cruising around shotgun with Yeezy in Doc's time-traveling DeLorean. Just sit back and let Ye' play the dual role of driver and tour guide as you journey through his reality: Past, present and future.\n"Good Morning" kicks off the 13-track album with some of Graduation's most simplistic production and lyrically sets the tone for the rest of the album with Kanye's assertion: "I'm like the fly Malcom X/ Buy any jeans necessary."\nThe first single "Stronger" cleverly samples Daft Punk to make the track feel like it was produced in 2001 and 2051 simultaneously. Kanye's lyrics are admittedly empty ("You know how long I've been on ya?/ Since Prince was on Apollonia"), but who cares? It's infectious, fun, something new and is the highlight of the album. \nThe second single, "Can't Tell me Nothing," is only slightly less ambitious, but is West's best vocal performance on the album. The lyrics "I feel the pressure/ Under more scrutiny/ And what do I do?/ Act more stupidly" are delivered genuinely by West and is a break in the album's self-indulgent lyrics and braggadocio.\nWest uses his DeLorean to go back in time with "Everything I Am" and "Champion" (the songs sounds similar to previous Kanye hits "Family Business" and "Touch the Sky," respectively). Kanye pioneered the sped up sample formula of "Touch the Sky," and it still sounds better than any rap/R&B on the radio. \nGraduation is not without its flaws, though. "Drunk and Hot Girls" is easily the worst song in the Kanye West catalogue and squanders a great Mos Def appearance. With lyrics like "Stop running up my tab because these drinks is not free/ You drunk and hot girl," the usually socially conscious West takes a stab at misogyny and, thankfully, misses. It's not a complete tragedy, though. Just make good use of your iPod's skip button.\nStill, West's third album has everything a mainstream rap record should have: Great and inspired production, engaging lyrics and worthwhile guest appearances (see the genre-bending Chris Martin collaboration "Homecoming"). Some say Kanye's braggadocio is too over the top here, but honestly, is that not why we love Kanye? Would these same people tell MC Lyte to be more "ladylike" or tell LL Cool J to put his shirt on? Egocentricity is a hip-hop staple, and Kanye West is working hard to keep it that way.\nGrade: B+
(09/13/07 4:00am)
"When I picked that date, I was like, 'Yo, people are going to talk about this so much.' People are going to remember this date.'" So spake Kanye West, remarking on his new album, Graduation, released head to head against 50 Cent's Curtis, in a rap scrum to the top of the charts, accompanied by the normal bellicose chest-thumping one expects from rap feuds. Indicative of the exaggerated importance of this event, the release date that Kanye said people will remember fell on Sept. 11. Hate to break it to you, Kanye, but I'm fairly certain people will remember 9/11 for other reasons. \nAt the same time, Kanye's prophecy came true. I am, after all, writing about the potential crowning of a new king of hip-hop. But one wonders: what's so great about being king?\nThough 50 and Kanye may both claim a desire to hoist the crown, I think both are wary of the title. Like Elvis bloated in Vegas, musical kings don't age well. Observe Diddy peddling Burger King and Jay-Z running his empire ("I'm a business, man"), leaving the real rapping to those schmucks still making music instead of selling product. King of rapping is only a stepping stone to leaving legitimate rapping altogether. There's a reason 50 said he would quit solo work altogether if Kanye won the week's record sales. All the kings of hip-hop either end up in an office (the Dr. Dre model) or in an early grave (the 2Pac model).\nAs more pundits decry the death of hip-hop, it's hard not to feel the genre has run out of thematic fuel. Gangsta rap has reached its logical extreme, with the Clipse documenting the meticulous details of a criminal empire, while "conscious" hip-hop has been blinded by dreams of fame ("First nigga with a Benz and a backpack"). Honestly, the most exciting hip-hop is the self-proclaimed stupidity of hyphy and YouTube videos of dances like walkin' it out and crankin' dat. These songs continue to capture hip-hop's energetic bounce, but where is hip-hop's soul?\nThe problem is not unique to rap. Rock and roll was running out of steam in 1975, but then came Born To Run, exploding across the stereo to revitalize the art. When Paula Abdul and Michael Bolton ruled the charts in 1991, Nevermind brought about the grunge revival to save rock and roll one more time. Where is rap's savior? Is a sole superstar possible in the newly decentralized hip-hop environment, where any kid with a video camera can become a rap phenomenon? In the further diversified scene of contemporary music, it hardly seems to matter who rules an increasingly tiny kingdom. It could very well be Kenny Chesney who outsells both blustering rappers this week.\nStill, for all the funerals for hip-hop, it's easy to forget how fertile the genre remains. The upcoming months promise new albums by Chamillionaire, Big Boi of Outkast, Lupe Fiasco and Lil' Wayne, along with commercial stalwarts like Nelly, all circling the Nov. 13 release of 8 Diagrams, by the re-unified, ODB-less Wu-Tang Clan. Thematically bankrupt or not, the massive, heaving contraption of hip-hop continues to putt along.\nWith this continuing creative drive, does rap need a king at all? Sadly, the vacuum in the heart of hip-hop has hurt it badly. Andre 3000, the genre's most exciting innovator, has wandered off into historical archives, while its past kings have receded to the front office. Just as the '50s needed Elvis and the '60s needed The Beatles as the center of rock, so does hip-hop today need a new center, a new king. \nWill it be 50 Cent or Kanye? Bless them both, but neither fits the bill. Both have been players in the game for too long to truly effect a sea change in hip-hop, save for the release of a colossal historic masterpiece. Neither Curtis nor Graduation qualifies. My prediction? Rap's savior will come from among one of those webcam kids who has heard it all and has something new to say. The next king is just waiting for his cue. So are we.
(09/09/07 4:00am)
The rain could not stop the show Saturday night at the Bluebird. A varied mix of hipsters, scene kids and music fans of varying ages filed into the dark and musty venue to see headliners Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s. \nThe band showed up early in its customized black bus – a gutted school bus with nine bunk beds and a “gear box” in the back for their equipment – to mill around in the crowd and catch the shows opening acts Autovaughn and Prizzy Prizzy Please. \nThe band took the stage around midnight and played a set that featured new songs and the biggest hits from their 2005 record “The Dust of Retreat.” The audience sang along to the band’s classics like “Broad Ripple is Burning” and “Vampires in Blue Dresses.” As predicted by guitarist Andy Fry, fans opted to “gesticulate” rather than sing and dance to new songs.\n“Quiet as a Mouse,” played towards the end of the set, elicited the most visual response from the crowd, as the lights shined on everyone singing along. The band also played two songs for an encore.\nAfter the show, Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s managed to cram all eight members of the band and some lucky fans into the tiny backstage lounge. Indianapolis resident Mike Birkey, who said he has seen at least eight Margot shows, passed around a drumstick and a sharpie for all the band to sign. Everyone obliged.\n“Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s is by far the best band in the whole entire earth,” he said as he marveled at the signatures on his drumstick.\nSinger/songwriter/guitaristRichard Edwards was in a playful mood after the show. He said the live music on stage came “from his balls” and that his home schooling background is the reason he has a hard time interacting with people. Edwards went to IU for over three years, and said that if he wasn’t in the band, he’d choose a radically different profession.\n“I would be a sociology professor,” he said.\nAs the night began to wane and the bar began to empty, electric pianist Emily Watkins and violist Erik Kang sat beside the stage and talked about aspirations for their band. Watkins said if success is being satisfied with what you are doing, then she was satisfied, but she did add that the band has much more to aspire to.\n“(Success) is about finding the best we have right now, trying to harness that and put it to the conglomerate song or record,” Watkins said.\nKang added that nothing for the band is set in stone.\n“Our songs, our record deal, nothing is definite,” he said.\nNext stop for Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s is Morrison, Col. for the Monolith Music Festival Sept. 15. For more information about the band, check out www.margotandthenuclearsoandsos.com.
(09/07/07 1:13am)
On stage, guitarist Andy Fry is not afraid to improvise. His band, Margot and the Nuclear So and Sos, has never used a permanent set list and sometimes plays without one at all. With his “generic rock instrument,” Fry is the playmaker of the musical arrangement. With eight other band members on stage, the role is daunting and rewarding at the same time. \n“That’s my favorite part about playing,” Fry said.\nPerhaps with the longest name to ever grace the Bluebird’s stage, Indianapolis’ Margot and the Nuclear So and Sos will be playing at 9 p.m. Saturday. Bluebird Public Relations Director Aaron Estabrook said the So and Sos is a band on the rise and the biggest band in Indiana right now. \nA bidding war erupted between labels wanting to sign the So and Sos because of their growing popularity. The band has chosen Epic Records, singer/songwriter Richard Edwards said. The band took less money so it could have more control over its music, Edwards said.\n“The people who are working on the new Michael Jackson record won’t be working on our record,” Edwards said. \nThe road to a major record deal began for the So and Sos in 2004 when Edwards and Fry met in a pet store in Indianapolis. They became fast friends and started recording an album that would eventually become 2005’s “The Dust of Retreat.” While recording the album, other musicians popped in and out of the studio. It became clear that Edwards’ and Fry’s musical vision needed more instruments. Thus, the current band roster consisting of guitars, cello, trumpet, drums/percussion, bass and piano was born, Edwards said. \nMost of the songs and lyrics on “The Dust of Retreat” were written by Edwards when he was a teenager in high school. Now 23, Edwards said he didn’t really know what he was doing when writing those songs and is only proud of a few of them like “Skeleton Key” and “Vampires in Blue Dresses.” Edwards said he is uncomfortable playing “Jen is Bringin’ the Drugs” now. \n“I didn’t know what problems were when I was writing those songs,” Edwards said. \nThe So and Sos have been in the studio for the better part of this year and Edwards said they play almost all new songs now. He strives to make songs that are technically proficient and he has no desire to \n“wax poetic.” \nFry said he enjoys playing the new songs. The feel of something new is never something that can be faked or parodied on stage, he said. \nJoining Margot and the Nuclear So and Sos at the Bluebird Saturday is Battle of the Bands champions Prizzy Prizzy Please and Tennessee-based Autovaughn. Tickets are $6.
(08/30/07 4:00am)
When Talib Kweli and fellow Brookyn MC Mos Def released Black Star in 1998, the hip hop scene was in a state of crisis. Hype- Williams-directed videos and bling galore, Black Star was a celebration of everything hip hop music could be: clean production and lyrics with important social under tones. Nearly a decade later, hip hop seems to again be suffering from an identity crisis. Eardrum, track for track, is an unwavering proclamation -- hip hop is alive and thriving.\nThe first verse of the album's first track "Everything Man" addresses this identity crisis. "What becomes of a dream differed/ that never makes it to the world to be seen or heard?" Kweli raps these lines with a sense of cautious reflection and sets the tone for an album that touches far more facets of hip hop than the usual Kweli disc.\n"Country Cousins" is a stand-out track featuring Texas rap duo UGK. The song explains the geographical divide of hip hop and how rap scenes all over the country "stay connected with the slang we bustin'." Another highlight is the concept song "Eat to Live" about a malnourished kid trying to survive in a harsh neighborhood. \nProduction on Eardrum is as diverse as Kweli's lyrics. Everyone from long-time collaborator Hi-Tek to Justin Timberlake is here. Kanye West contributes rhymes and production on "In the Mood." The song serves as the album's obligatory sex track and it's done right. West's lyrics and flow are awesomely funny ("This girl got a silicone booty!/\nAnd got the nerve to act moody!") when juxtaposed with those of Kweli's. \nEven with "In the Mood," Kweli is never misogynistic. "Soon the New Day" features vocals of the soulful Norah Jones and is a fun listen simply because both artists are stretching their ranges to make the song work. Female MC Jean Grae is the only lyricist on the album that can trade flows with Kweli on "Say Something" and not get outshined. With old-school needle scratches and scorching flows by both Grae and Kweli, "Say Something" is easily the most intriguing song on the album.\nIf Eardrum is missing anything, it's Mos Def. But with rumors of a new Black Star album, his absence is quite excusable. Just think, if Talib can do this album by himself, what will he and Mos Def do together? \nThink about that as you listen to Eardrum, one of the most complete rap albums in recent history.
(08/23/07 4:00am)
While you have been settling into Bloomington and getting ready for the new semester, the WEEKEND reviews staff has been hard at work deciphering what you should and should not pay attention to on the entertainment front.\nMy goals for this semester's reviews are consistency and good writing. All the reviewers know their audience, and we truly write just for you. We know that everyone has different entertainment tastes and one review will never satisfy the masses. If we get something wrong, I want to hear about it. E-mail all your gripes to WEEKEND@idsnews.com. Hell, if we ever get our new Web site running, you can post your complaints there. You can even take a stab at reviewing.\nI am forever looking for new additions to the reviews staff. If you have good taste and like to write, send a 450- to 500-word review of something (anything!) to me at bhettman@indiana.edu and we'll go from there. I am currently organizing a workshop for all reviewers that will take place in the next couple weeks. Check out WEEKEND in the upcoming weeks for more information.\nWEEKEND is the fun read on campus every Thursday. We're working hard to keep it that way.
(08/23/07 4:00am)
Life outlook\n"Just enjoy life. The people and the places."
(08/23/07 4:00am)
On bar do's and don'ts\n"There's no need to be rude. No need to be pushy. Just be respectful. You can get annoyed at any job, but I think people should keep in mind that we work here. There's a pretty wide spectrum of stuff you can get away with, but don't steal shit and don't be rude."
(08/23/07 1:38am)
A dark carnival crashes and slashes its way into Bloomington tonight. Making camp at the Buskirk-Chumley Theater, The Dark Carnival Film Festival will feature more than 40 independent horror movies, a sideshow, a horror rock band and, on Saturday night, a Dance Party Massacre.\nFestival Director Dave Pruett said he wants to expose Bloomington to some independent films the city would not see otherwise, and give filmmakers the chance to showcase their films on a big screen. This is the Dark Carnival Film Festival’s first year.\nThe films come from all over the world and were chosen by a five-person panel that included Pruett. The running times range from 11 minutes to feature length. One film uses stop-motion animation to retell Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Pit and the Pendulum,” Pruett said.\nFilms have been showing at the Cinemat since Monday, but today the main attraction begins.\nAt 8 p.m. tonight, actress Brenna Lee Roth will be participating in a meet-and-greet along with her rock-star father David Lee Roth at the Starlite Drive-In, 7640 S. Old State Road 37. The movie, “Dead and Breakfast,” will begin at dusk. Roth said she is not a huge fan of horror movies despite having starred in some.\n“I am terrified of everything,” Roth said. “If someone came up to me and said ‘boo,’ I might start crying.”\nFriday, adult film star Ron Jeremy will host the adult horror films at the Buskirk-Chumley, Pruett said.\nAlso doing a meet-and-greet is actor Ari Lehman. Lehman achieved cult status by playing young Jason Voorhees in the 1980 film “Friday the 13th.” His band, First Jason, will be playing at the Dance Party Massacre Saturday night.\nLehman describes First Jason as a “hard-core horror band.” Lyrics to songs such as “Jason is Watching,” “Red Red Red” and “Sink or Swim” are what Lehman imagines are going through the mind of Jason, who never talks in any of the “Friday the 13th” movies. An avid horror fan who watches four or five horror movies a week, Lehman said the genre is important because it questions the unknown.\n“When we go to a horror movie and we’re afraid, we are really having a vicarious thrill of fear in a place we know is totally safe,” Lehman said.\nThe Dance Party Massacre will feature local actors and actresses dressed up like dead cheerleaders and other staples from 80s horror slasher flicks, Pruett said. There will also be a costume contest for the public. The grand prize is Lehman killing the winner on stage, and he promised to be “gentle but deadly.”\n“The best thing about great horror is it looks really nasty, but it is totally fake,” Lehman said.\nFor more information, visit www.darkcarnivalfilmfest.com. Tickets range from $6 to $8 per screening and all-access weekend passes are $2.
(08/04/07 4:00am)
After a name shortening (from Common Sense to Common), six albums and 15 years in the industry as an "alternative" rapper, Finding Forever could be the cultivation of Chicago's Common. But it's not. \nAll the elements of a classic are here: superb production by Kanye West (who produced pretty much all of 2005's Be) and Will.i.am plus guest vocal appearances by the sensual Lilly Allen and the always-smooth D'Angelo. Common himself is on top of his game -- his rhythmic delivery contrasts well with the aforementioned jazzy production.\nYet the album doesn't bring anything new to the table or to Common's career. Be was a comeback album of sorts, after the '60s psychedelic-inspired Electric Circus alienated some listeners. On Finding Forever, we find Common content with his career one ladder rung from the top.\n"Start the Show" and "The People" get the album started and are the strongest tracks musically. "Start the Show" would have a much better impact on the listener if it opened the album (instead the album starts with a one-minute intro that should have been scrapped). "The People" is infectious and jazzy, reminiscent of '70s soul music that has been updated for the hip-hop generation. Common turned in an impressive live performance of this song with a live band on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" last week.\n"Drivin' Me Wild" is the album's most disappointing track. It plays like an excuse to get Lilly Allen on the album. Allen's falsetto is primarily used in the chorus, and in the background of Common's flows about those women he just can't understand. \nCommon is at his best lyrically toward the middle of the album. On "The Game," Common explains his path through the rap industry using a boxing metaphor. "They try to box me in like Cassius Clay/Hey I'm like Muhammad when he fasted/opposing the fascist." Flexing his high-culture muscle, Common compares himself to literary icon James Baldwin on "Southside."\nStill, this is all familiar territory. If you want Common at his very best, download 1994's Resurrection. Better yet, fans of alternative underground rap should wait until Tailb Kweli's Eardrum drops August 21.
(08/04/07 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>This is the last issue of our magazine this summer. Don't cry! Your pals here at WEEKEND sifted through all the music and movie reviews and are giving you the best of the summer in convenient list form.
Top 5 movies of the Summer
5. Ocean's 13 -- Clooney, Pitt, Damon and co. make a movie so savvy and cool, you feel cooler just sitting in the audience.
4. Live Free or Die Hard -- This movie has the best car/helicopter collision ever put on film (and it is not CGI, either).
3. The Simpsons Movie -- The only thing that could have made this movie experience better would be if they had served donuts and Duff beer at the concession stand.
2. SiCKO -- In a summer full of popcorn movies, SiCKO dares to be about something. After seeing Michael Moore's documentary, you will never look at the American Heath System the same again.
1. Knocked Up -- Seth Rogan's first starring role earned him and "Knocked Up" the surprise hit of the summer and WEEKEND's favorite movie.
Top 5 albums of the summer
5. Prince -- Planet Earth4. T.I. -- T.I. vs... T.I.P.3. Queens of the Stone Age -- Era Vulgaris2. Spoon -- Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga1. The White Stripes -- Icky Thump
(08/02/07 12:52am)
You drink and the kids eat.\nThat was the mind-set at Lennie’s, 1795 E. 10th St., Tuesday night, when all money from the day’s beer sales was donated to the Community Kitchen’s Summer Breakfast program. Community Kitchen director Vicky Pierce said the program benefits children in six low-income neighborhoods around Bloomington.\n“Most of the children eat two meals a day at school (during the school year),” Pierce said. “In the summer they are at a nutritional disadvantage, and we want to make sure their needs are met.”\nThe Community Kitchen, 917 S. Rogers St., delivers 240 sack breakfasts a day to playgrounds, apartments and trailers throughout the city. The sack breakfasts contain four elements: milk, a grain component (bagel or cereal), a fruit component (fresh fruit or 100 percent juice) and an extra item such as yogurt.\nThis is the 11th year of the Summer Breakfast Program. Last year, Lennie’s raised $900 for the program, which yielded about 600 breakfasts, Pierce said. This year, Lennie’s raised approximately $1,100, Lennie’s Manager Michael Layman said.\nIndianapolis resident and IU alumnus Brent Bockelman ate on Tuesday at Lennie’s and was unaware of the fundraiser.\n“Now that I do know (about the fundraiser), I will drink twice as much,” Bockelman said.\nBloomington Resident Virgil Sauter hung around outside Lennie’s after he and three friends finished dining. They had been to Lennie’s before but came specifically for the fundraiser Tuesday. Sauter and his friends spent $25 on beer, money that will end up funding the Breakfast Program.\n“Good beer, good pizza, good cause,” Sauter said.
(07/26/07 4:00am)
Accompanying the theatrical release of "The Simpsons Movie," the producers have created an intense ad campaign. Simpsonizing Burger King and turning neighborhood 7-Elevens into Kwik-E-Marts was only the beginning. The launch of simpsonsmovie.com may be the most complete and ambitious movie Web site since "The Blair Witch Project" in 1998.\nTyping in the site's name takes you to a hill overlooking Springfield, complete with the nuclear power plant and Moe's Tavern. There are several Springfield destinations you can visit with a click of the mouse. These include: Moe's, The Simpsons' residence, the Kwik-E-Mart and the Aztec Theater. Destinations such as Town Hall are promised to be coming soon.\nThe most comprehensive building is the Aztec Theater. Fourty-two Springfieldians are packed into the theater, and the visitor can roll over all of them for some quick biographical info and sometimes a character sound bite. Nelson does his trademark "Ha-ha!" and Matt Groening can be spotted among the audience as a bald, eye-patch-wearing creep. \nIn the Kwik-E-Mart, rolling the cursor over Bart, Chief Wiggum and Apu quickly yields this disharmonic masterpiece:\n"Whoa! Donuts I got thank you come again!"\nIt can be done over and over until you get tired of rolling. But warning: Do not do attempt this in the office. People will throw things.\nYou can also roll over items in the background, such as magazines on the rack or a poster on the wall. Most of these are movie promotions (downloads of Simpsons icons, wallpaper, etc.), and you can view the two movie trailers in Moe's.\nThe site has some surprisingly fun games, too. "3 Card Moe" is a game that requires patience and quick eyes. Players must keep their eye on the Joker as Moe mixes the cards in front of you. I got to round 10 of 15 (I mostly guessed at the end). In "Wrecking Ball," the player smacks a paddy wagon with a wrecking ball. It's confusing at first but highly addicting.\nThe best part of the Web site is the "Create your own Simpsons Avatar" that, in essence, lets you Simpsonize yourself. You can choose from four different body types and literally millions of different character permutations (check out the mugs on WEEKEND's Last Word page). There is also a feature that claims if you upload a mug yourself, the site will Simpsonize it for you, though WEEKEND could not get it to work(facebook photos are not the right resolution).\nThe Web site for "The Simpsons Movie" is not perfect, but it is a fun place to waste a few hours of your life, especially with the avatars. Hopefully other movie sites ("Halloween," "The Dark Knight") will take notice.
(07/26/07 4:00am)
Remember the good ol' days? when "the simpsons" aired two or three times a day? those times have long since passed, but that doesn't mean you can't still relive your childhood. Here are five dvds most worth your d'oh. \n Season 4: Best Episode Marge V. The Monorail \nAny episode that features the entire cast breaking into choreographed song automatically trumps the rest (think "Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?" from season five and "Spring in Springfield" from season eight). "Monorail" even begins in song with a little Flintstones parody, so we know it's good.\nAfter Mr. Burns pays the city $3 million for illegal toxic waste dumping, the town comes together to determine where to spend the money. Marge's campaign to fix the roads is interrupted by the fast-talking, Music Man-esque Lyle Lanley, voiced by the late Phil Hartman. Lanley easily convinces the town with a catchy tune, and the entire town is struck by Monorail fever -- including Homer, the conductor-to-be. \n Marge discovers that the monorail is a corrupt get-rich-fast plan and must act fast to save its passengers. One of the more memorable episodes from the early years (certainly one of my top five), "Monorail" is filled with funny one-liners and memorable moments. (Duh, it was written by Conan O'Brien.) \n Other notable episodes include "Mr. Plow," in which Homer buys a plow and temporarily rules Springfield, and "I Love Lisa," in which Lisa breaks Ralph Wiggum's heart on Krusty's anniversary special. DVD extras include commentary on every episode, deleted scenes and animation clips.\n Season 5: Best Episode Homer's Barbershop Quartet\nI picked this season in the same way Homer got picked to go into outer space in this season's masterpiece "Deep Space Homer." Two words: De. Fault. I let everyone else pick their favorite season and said I'd make a case for the leftovers. \nIt's a big season plot wise, as Marge shows her darker side, and Homer shows his Forrest Gump-like ability to be in the right place at the right time as he ends up in college, outer space and in love with Michelle Pfiffer. Marge grows a lot this season, as she goes on the lam and gets a new job -- a slot jockey. And Homer will never let her forget it, because "youuuu have a gambling problem." \nThe season starts beautifully with my favorite episode of the season, the heavily Beatles-influenced "Homer's Barbershop Quartet." The all-star band of Apu, Homer, Skinner and Barney beats Dexy's Midnight Runners for a Grammy, plays their last show on the roof top, a la the Beatles, and Homer has one simple question for George Harrison: "Where did you get that brownie?"-Zack Teibloom\nSeason 6:\nSeason six of "The Simpsons" was a ridiculously good year for the show. Of the 25 season episodes, I counted 13 to be shows I considered classics. Thirteen! And those were just my personal favorites. Maybe the entire season should be considered classic. Anyway, my list of notables includes: "Bart of Darkness," a spoof on the Hitchcock film "Rear Window," where the Simpsons get a pool and Bart breaks his leg. "Treehouse of Horror V", a classic "Treehouse of Horror" featuring a Shining spoof, Homer time-traveling, and the school cafeteria cooking students; \n"Homer: Bad Man" where Homer is accused of sexual harassment; "Bart's Comet" where Bart has a comet named after him that is heading toward Springfield; \n"Homer vs. Patty & Selma" where Homer has to turn to Patty & Selma for money; \n"A Star Is Burns" where Springfield holds a Film Festival and invites The Critic (voiced by Jon Lovitz); "Lisa's Wedding" where a fortune-teller looks into Lisa's future; and the cliffhanger season finale "Who Shot Mr. Burns?". \nGood storylines, clever writing and an abundance of fresh jokes make season six one of the best "Simpsons" seasons, if not the best. \nCommentary side note: Matt Groening shares how the Northridge earthquake affected the writing process for season six. -Joe Livarchik \n Season 7: Best Episode Lisa the Iconoclast\nEveryone is always asking, "What happens when you combine babies and firearms?" Simply watch the first episode of season seven, the dramatic conclusion of "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" \nThis season has a lot of musical ties, guest-starring Paul and Linda McCartney, The Smashing Pumpkins, Cypress Hill, Sonic Youth, Peter Frampton; and the namesake for the favorite band of many a 16-year-old girl. Fallout Boy is the sidekick of the comic-book hero Radioactive Man, played by everyone's favorite blue-haired geek, Milhouse.\nRight behind the episode where Homer wears a dress, "Lisa the Iconoclast" is the most cromulent episode of the season for its take on our warped perceptions of history and the soothing voice of Donald Sutherland.\nSpringfield was founded when pioneers set out for New Sodom after misinterpreting the Bible with their leader, Jebediah Springfield.\nLisa discovers a secret confession of Jebediah admitting he was actually a murderous pirate, but the curator of the Springfield Historical Society (voiced by Sutherland) doesn't want her badmouthing the town hero. Homer also steals the position of town cryer from Flanders proclaiming that he suck-diddly-ucks.\nAnd if you don't like history, you can watch the episode where Troy McClure (allegedly) has sex with fish.-Joanna Borns\n Season 9: Best Episode "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"\nSeason nine premiered 10 years ago and, episode for episode, is the last great Simpson's complete season.\nBoth the show's writers and animators are at their best in "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson." Homer had a bad experience in NYC before (he was robbed, had trash dumped on him, and chased by a pimp) and is similarly beleaguered in this outing. \nLandmarks and buildings are drawn with such excruciating detail and the streets are alive with so many extras you forget New York is the setting of the episode, not a character. In one tragic sequence, the World Trade Center is the setting for a couple of seemingly good humored jokes. In the episodes commentary track (Groening is noticeably absent) the writers offer an apology and lament the episode getting pulled from sydication. \nOther season highlights include Homer buying a gun in "Cartridge Family" and a Simponized telling of Lord of the Flies in "Das Bus." Matt Groening said the season finale "Natural Born Kissers" is one of his top ten favorite episodes. \nHey, Marge and Homer shaggin' in a putt-putt course windmill and running home butt-nekkid cracks my top 10, too.--Brian Hettmansperger
(07/19/07 4:00am)
Most of my barley brethren end up in cereal. Others end up in health food. A select few, like myself, have the distinct pleasure of becoming beer. My name is Brixton, and this is the story of how I became Upland Wheat Ale.\nI arrive in Bloomington in a bushel with 15,000 pounds of my closest friends. I don't really know what to expect. \nBeing barley, I don't have any choice what happens to me, though ever since I was a young sap I dreamt of being beer. \nI am taken to a storeroom in the back of Upland Brewery where I'm placed next to a bushel of the most beautiful hops I have ever seen. One in particular catches my eye.\n"Heyyyy baby," I say, all cool-like. "What do I got to do to ferment with you?"\nBut before I can hear an answer, I am whisked away and thrown into a malt masher. Can you imagine what it would feel like to strip down naked and jump into a wood chipper? How about taking a bath in fiery lava and then toweling off with industrial strength sandpaper? Well, that doesn't even compare to this agony, this torture. My outsides become my insides, and my insides turn to dust.\n"I thought beer was heaven on earth for us barley," I shriek. "What is the goddamned meaning of all this? I can't take this ..."\nAnd then it's over. Everything stops.\nI look down and I'm flattened like a pancake. But the pain slowly subsides as my vision slips toward the hops lying in wait. I suddenly remember all my cowardly screaming. I notice the hops staring back at me, giggling. I say the first thing that runs through my crushed, twisted mind.\n"Yeah, I'm smashed to smithereens, but look at all this surface area."\nChicks dig the surface area, I think to myself. Chicks dig the surface area.\nAfter another move, the pain is completely gone. Here, I am just marinating in a giant, metal mash tun with some warm water. It feels like oatmeal. I begin to lose myself in the substance. I feel my crushed body grow heavy and start to sink. And yet, for some reason, I am floating. Looking down, I watch my grainy body disappear into the bubbly abyss. \nI look around, and it's happening everywhere. \nWithout bodies, our souls mingle and move in and out of one another. It's hard to know who is who and what is what. As one cohesive unit we call ourselves "wort."\n"Hey, how's it goin'?" I say to a passerby. \n"Long time, no see," I quip with another.\nAfter laying down some basic ground rules (mostly regarding personal space), we eagerly await the next step of brewing.\nWe're pumped into a new vat called "The Kettle," where we begin to boil violently. Without bodies to feel pain, we embrace this "wort mosh pit" like we're front row at an AC/DC concert. Someone kicks me in the crotch and I poke them in the eye. Suddenly, a hatch opens from above, and green pellets rain down on us. \nIt's the hops! \nAnd boy, they are pretty freaked out, too.\nI am having a great time at the boil, but the hops are killing the mood. It's hot. They're screaming. Everybody's panicking. And just before I join them, it happens. A miracle.\nThe hops, too, are now disconnecting from their earthly bodies. Free and fluid, they thrash through the boil with the same intensity as us wort. Cries of fear and anguish turn to shrieks of joy and liberation.\nThen, we begin to whirl. \nWe spin around the kettle and create a vortex in the center where the discarded hop bodies are sucked to the bottom and deposited in an upside-down cone. And then, just as fast as it all starts, the whirlpool stops and we continue our journey.\nThe hops are gone, but I can feel their presence around me. The composition of the wort has changed -- I can tell. \nAs we are pumped through to yet another big vat, I begin to wonder if being beer is everything I thought it was going to be. Can it possibly be worth all this trouble? I'm starting to wish I had just become some Frosted Flakes.\nStill traveling, it starts getting cold. Oh God, is this the end? I hear something in the distance. It's coming at me like a freight train, getting louder and louder, closer and closer. I can hear it clearly now.\n"Wooohoooo! Let's get this party started!" I hear before the crash. Then I black out.\nI awake in a new vat, really chilled out. What hit me, I discover, was a yeast slurry.\n"Welcome to the party, man," I hear. "Sorry about hitting you so hard earlier, but that's my job. How do you feel?"\n"I feel surprisingly awesome," I tell him, as I ease into a newfound state of euphoria. \n"What's going on?" I ask.\n"We're fermenting, man, just chilling out before we're bottled. It should happen anytime, now."\nChilling there, I reflect on my journey. I came into this as a young, cocky piece of grain, and I leave now a premium Bloomington beer. Soon, a gold cap will be pressed onto my bottle, sealing me in until it is my time to be drank.\nWill I be consumed and then savored -- my bottle put on a mantle as a reminder and celebration of my bubbly greatness? Or will I be unceremoniously chugged -- my taste and complexities completely ignored? \nMy name is Brixton. I am a bottle of Upland Wheat and I don't really know what to expect
(07/19/07 4:00am)
1. Barley \nAll beer starts with the barley, or malt. All malt is toasted in a kiln. This is done so the grain can create enzymes that are not in the malt naturally. On the right is Pale Ale malt. This is what Upland uses as their base-malt and is the type used in Upland Wheat. On the right is Chocolate malt, which starts out the same as the Pale Ale malt but is kilned longer. The longer roast brings about different flavors and colors in the malt. Chocolate malt is used in Stouts and Porters.
(06/28/07 4:00am)
I couldn't tell you what the first action movie was or when it was made. I couldn't begin to explain the fascination we humans have watching something big (say, an oil tanker full of bad guys) blown to smithereens from the safety of our couch. What I can do is tell you is the story of little B. Hett and how action movies shaped his life.\nB. Hett got his first taste of fantastic violence watching Roadrunner and Coyote cartoons. That coyote is not very wiley, Roadrunner would think to himself as Wile E. plummeted off the side of a cliff and transformed into a poof of smoke. B. Hett laughed with glee when Coyote blew himself up, caught on fire or got stuck in the deathtrap meant for Roadrunner. \nB. Hett didn't root for Roadrunner or Coyote. He rooted for the comic violence.\nThus, the formative years of B. Hett's life went by in a blur of cartoon violence -- everything from Foghorn Leghorn beating his dog friend with a 2x4 to a certain group of turtles fighting crime from a sewer. It seemed all this cartoon violence was wearing on B. Hett's parents, especially his father. Could his father have been so prudish and hateful that he wanted to rid his boy's life of all the violence-glorifying garbage his son was watching? No one knows for sure. What's known is, on a weekend night near B. Hett's eighth birthday at a video store near his suburban dwelling, this conversation took place:\n"Hurry up, B. Hett, I want to get out of here."\n"I just can't decide if I want to watch '3 Ninjas' for the 14th time or if I want something else."\n(Sigh.)\n"This is taking too long, son. We're leaving. I have a movie at home we can watch, anyway."\nB. Hett and his father got back to the house and B. Hett began his favorite movie-night tradition of popping the microwave popcorn while his Dad cued up the movie in the living room. The movie, B. Hett would later find out, was titled "Speed."\n"Speed" was like nothing B. Hett had experienced. In cartoons, when characters died, they were alive again in the next sequence. As it turned out, cartoon violence was not rooted in reality. In this movie "Speed," when a guy shoved a screwdriver through someone's eyeball, that guy stayed dead the rest of the movie. The explosions in "Speed" were also better in than they were in cartoons. Nothing gets an 8-year-old's adrenaline pumping like a big, explosive ball of fire.\nSo "Speed" was B. Hett's first glimpse into this new world -- a world his dad tersely termed "action movie."\nThe floodgates had been opened. B. Hett needed more. Action movies were the only thing he could think about in school, on the playground, even in church.\nB. Hett's father saw his son was in pain and did the only reasonable thing that could be done: He went out and rented "Die Hard."\nNow, after watching "Speed" (and even the violent cartoons), B. Hett was pretty much desensitized to violence. That's what makes "Die Hard" so brilliant in B. Hett's eyes. Come for the blood-splattering violence. Stay for the vile vocabulary, motherfucker.\nThis movie marked a turning point in B. Hett's life. He understood, even at that young age, that a situation where he would be walking over broken glass (barefoot, mind you) after an awesome, rackin'-up-the-body-count gunfight would never present itself. But if something like that did happen to occur in his life at any point in the future, B. Hett was now aware of the proper expletives to use.\nNext up for B. Hett was "True Lies," starring his favorite "Kindergarten Cop," Arnold Schwarzenegegger. B. Hett loved this movie but became confused when his Dad began to use the fast-forward button.\n"What are you doing, motherfucker?" B. Hett inquired. "This violence does not even compare to 'Die Hard.'"\n"I know," B. Hett's father replied. "But there are some things you aren't ready to see."\nOn the glowing screen in front of him, B. Hett saw, in fast forward, what he would later learn was called a "strip tease." And that was the lesson B. Hett took from "True Lies": Gratuitous violence is OK for young children, but a middle-aged woman performing a striptease is only permissible in fast motion. B. Hett realized the world isn't really so complicated after all.\nSo thank you, action movies, on behalf of kids like B. Hett all over America. The way you shamelessly off bad guys, keep coming up with bigger and better things to blow up (let's blow up the moon next!) and always let the good guys win is the reason you are number one in our hearts. We love you, we really do.