Horribly ever after

et's be real: Everybody has those guilty-pleasure, secret movie indulgences. These films usually involve a combination of Chad Michael Murray and any one of a variety of teen flops (Hilary, Lindsay, etc.). These movies are a unique concoction of bad acting, bad writing and bad plots with really cute clothes and boys. "Sydney White" is one of those bad movies. It's so bad that it's actually enjoyable. Of course, the part I found most enjoyable was the remarkable number of snide comments I found myself uttering throughout the 90-minute cringe-fest. \nAmanda Bynes plays Sydney White, a doe-eyed, unnaturally orange tomboy raised by her plumber father and his construction worker buddies. Obviously her mother died early on in her daughter's life, leaving Sydney clueless about the hierarchy and regulations of girl world, which she is abruptly thrown into as she begins her freshman year at her mother's alma mater. Nostalgic for her mother's spirit, Sydney rushes the same sorority (Kappa Phi Nu) in hopes of following in her footsteps. \nThe Kappa president and queen of campus Rachel Witchburn (Sara Paxton) immediately marks Sydney as her enemy when she spots her flirting with her ex-boyfriend Eric Prince (Matt Long). Sydney gets dismissed from her entirely blonde pledge class and moves in with the seven male outcasts living at the end of Greek row in a dilapidated shack. The seven dorks, ranging from grumpy to creepy, are mesmerized by the female specimen living in their attic.\nSydney leads a campus-wide, anti-greek revolution, but only after facing many instances of social suicide and the inevitable identity crisis. As if the original title ("Sydney White and the Seven Dorks") doesn't make the movie predictable enough, I found myself able to complete the lines every few minutes.\nBynes' voice is more annoying than I recall from her years on Nickelodeon's "All That," which is hard to believe. And I found it odd that her character prided herself on her tomboyish-ness while sparkly blue eye shadow seemed permanently stuck to her eyelids and her lips were perpetually glossed. \n"Sydney White" is that terrible yet perfect fluff movie, sugary-sweet to the point of cavities, and, in general, something to laugh at, not with. If you cannot brave the embarrassment of actually purchasing a ticket to see it, I would recommend waiting until it comes out on video (and even then you might consider Netflixing it).