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(12/11/13 5:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>I’m done with finals. It’s not that I have literally finished all of my finals. I’m just done with the concept of finals. Cumulative final exams are not the right way to test students.Cramming exams that cover 16 weeks worth of knowledge into one week is foolish.Students, especially freshmen, often have classes that cover vastly different material. A finals schedule could include calculus, psychology, biology and history. The University expects us to dive in to all that at the same time, while every class demands perfection. It’s not feasible for a student to show their best knowledge of the material when they have one week to prove they know four different disciplines.Every year, students flock to the library for the first time the weekend before finals to gain a semester’s worth of knowledge. That’s senseless, and makes it unclear whether IU wants people to learn like that. We need to change the system so that semester-long procrastination isn’t possible.I have a simple alternative: no cumulative exams. Midterms should cover the first eight weeks, and finals should cover the second eight weeks.Switching to this layout would cut down on the stress and chaos of finals week. It might add to the resonance of the material as well. When I’m studying for 16 weeks of material the week before my final, I don’t remember any of it as soon as I step out of the test room. With a test that covered only eight weeks, I could actually remember what happened the month before in class rather than having to do my entire assignment from the beginning of the year over again just to gain a slight memory of what it was about.Testing a student over 16 weeks of material is not inherently harsh. But when a student has five different classes, their finals schedule becomes unforgiving.A schedule with a midterm covering the first eight weeks and a final covering the second eight weeks only has positive effects. It would force professors to be more concise and more pointed with their teaching.As of now, this alternative schedule is just a dream. In reality, I have to go back to studying for finals, remembering what the essay I read in early September was about.It’s going to be a long weekend. — lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis.
(12/04/13 5:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>During the frigid months of the year, students cram into IU buses more than ever. The ex-bike riders and ex-walkers join the rest of the lazy students as we all huddle together in a bus to get transported across campus. In such cramped times, we must remember the most important set of social rules: bus etiquette. Do not cut. This one goes out to all the kids who seem to just meander to the front of the mob when the doors open. Though it’s not a strict line, you have to have some sort of humility. No one is going to call you out for cutting since this isn’t middle school, but we’re going to judge you like it is. Your backpack is not a person. If you set anything in the seat next to you on a full bus, I am going to sit down right on top of it. Face your social anxiety and let a human sit down because I know your backpack won’t fall over at every sharp turn if it’s not on a seat.Walk to the back of the bus. This concept is simple, yet in a full bus the driver has to awkwardly say it over the intercom four times before the guy everyone is staring at moves. Simply move, or the people up front have to ride without anything to hold on to. And that’s nothing to joke about.Stare directly at your phone. I don’t want to look at you. Flash anything close to a smile and I’m getting off at the next stop. This is not a time to be friendly. Even if you have nobody to text, be sure to idly flip through Facebook pictures or tweets from days ago.Do not touch everyone near you. If standing, it is important to press your lower body into the person that’s sitting down next to you. I’m not very fond of this, but it seems to be a popular opinion of everyone that stands above me. Also, make sure to grab the bar right on top of someone’s hand and then switch it without making eye contact.Get on/off in an organized fashion. When the bus stops, don’t take your turn. Bust the door at the seams only to leisurely walk to class when out. If you’re entering the bus, get on so fast that people can’t get off and miss their stop because you’re in the way. This is your bus now. Show them who’s boss.Though you may not agree with some of these rules, they are sure to make you fit in with the rest of the bus riders at IU.— lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis.
(11/20/13 5:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Jaws dropped as stares penetrated my soul. The response was so extraordinary you would think I just admitted that I listen to Nickelback. But no, much worse. I let an opinion that I usually keep hidden in my closet slip out: professional basketball is better than college basketball. And therefore, I hate watching IU basketball.Please, save my excommunication to West Lafayette until after I graduate.I went to my first IU basketball game of the year this past Sunday, when IU beat Stony Brook. There were as many empty seats as there were missed free throws. Students decided they weren’t going to come. It was very reminiscent of a football game.And yet with half of the seats empty, I still get called out for not supporting IU basketball. I’m told I’m not a real IU student. I’m also called a name worse than anything — a hipster — for not going to IU games.In some students’ beer-blasted minds, they feel that loving college basketball is a requirement to go to IU. I would rather watch professional athletes who play basketball for their job rather than inferior athletes who play a lesser brand of basketball. If you want to watch inferior ball, you might as well go watch the dads league on Saturdays at the YMCA. I heard they play some real team basketball.When I say these slanderous statements, I am berated with talk of professional basketball being selfish. However, Yogi Ferrell was the only one with more than one assist for the Hoosiers on Sunday. Either they play selfish basketball or they just can’t make a shot. Count me out either way.I want to cheer for the top-notch, highest level of basketball players in an atmosphere conducive to actually watching a game.I don’t want to have to step over a girl who is spewing hot dog and regret into the aisle. A man urinated in his pants last year when I was at a game. Welcome to IU basketball. Between girls who stare at Will Sheehey the whole game while tweeting #iubb every five minutes and guys in tank tops who talk about how they could have played if they hadn’t had that one injury in high school, I’m over it. I would rather eat a snow cone and relax in the bleachers of a Pacers game.I won’t judge you for liking college basketball, so don’t judge me for liking a better quality of basketball. If you wanted an aspiring doctor in medical school to perform your open-heart surgery instead of a professional doctor, that’s fine. But I think I’ll go with the professional doctor. At least he can make a free throw.— lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis.
(11/13/13 5:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>I often hear of students getting kicked out of college for drinking or bad grades. However, two students may be kicked out of Gonzaga University for trying to save their own lives.Two students at Gonzaga University are facing expulsion for violating the school’s weapon policy. But if they would have followed the school’s policy, they might not be alive to tell the tale. When an intruder tried to barge into their university-owned apartment, one of the students drew his pistol and the intruder ran away. The students are in trouble for violating a Gonzaga policy stating that firearms are prohibited in any university residence. They are currently on probation. Although they clearly breached the policy, these students need to be pardoned due to the extraneous circumstances.Universities have an obligation to protect every student. If these two students are suspended, Gonzaga will have retroactively stripped these students of their safety. Their firearm was clearly the primary reason the intruder retreated in this specific instance. If they expel the students for violating the policy, they are essentially saying that a student’s safety falls behind adherence to school policy.I am not advocating that guns should be allowed everywhere on campus. The gun debate is a heated one on both sides. But in this specific instance, it is obvious that the guns helped and possibly saved the students’ lives, so they should not be punished for it.Gonzaga University has the right to make almost any policy they choose. Their policy prohibiting guns is not inherently wrong, but their choice to enforce it in this situation is.The school is banning guns based on the mindset that more bad would come than good. But in this specific instance, they saw how the guns worked. They saw that only good came from having guns in this situation, which is sufficient evidence to provide an exception to these students.Colleges live in entirely separate worlds. Many colleges have special rules prohibiting smoking and drinking, even if it would be legal elsewhere in the country. Since they have special rules, they can make special exceptions, as they should in this case. These two students by all accounts had good academic records with no signs of trouble. If Gonzaga expels these students, they will have taken years of money from these students and wasted years of their lives.We should not have a no-tolerance mindset when discussing policies that are specific to universities. Special policies permit special exceptions. If a university’s goal is to educate the young by providing us with resources and opportunities specifically tailored to our future, a gun that saved lives should not be a hindrance to that goal.These students should not be punished for defending their lives, no matter what ancillary policy they broke.— lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis.
(11/06/13 5:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>When I think of bullying, it’s hard to imagine a 300-pound athlete could be a victim. But one professional football player would beg to differ. Miami Dolphins player Jonathan Martin left his team unannounced after repeated bullying from teammate Richie Incognito.Martin released a voicemail message to the NFL in which Incognito said “I’ll kill you,” “I’m gonna slap your real mother across the face,” as well as racial slurs. I’m not defending Incognito’s actions. It is inarguable that what he did was wrong. However, Incognito’s actions did not warrant the media riot that followed. When some one hurts some one else’s feelings, it’s not always bullying.For example, last month, a parent filed a bullying complaint after his son’s high school football team lost 91-0. The parent claimed the opposing coaching staff was bullying the kids on the losing team by beating them by such a large margin.The players for the losing team said they didn’t have a problem with the loss. The winning coach even pulled his starters for the entire second half and coached his kids on how to not run up the score too much. But in today’s culture, I’m sure the parent had plenty of other people in agreement that it was wrong because their children’s feelings were hurt. It’s not bullying just because someone ends up on the losing side.An overmatched football team played a great football team and got beat. That’s all there is to it. The coach had no ill intent. He was just trying to win the game in a way that was least embarrassing to the other team. Incognito might not have had ill intent either. There’s no proof his arguably threatening comments were serious. Although what he said, in his mind, might have been some sort of bonding, they blurred the lines between teasing and bullying.Martin probably wasn’t accustomed to Incognito’s behavior because he was brought up in a society that condemns a child as a bully for a one-time jest at another student who smells funny.Exploring this distinction — singular, isolated occurrences and consistent, true bullying — is especially important at IU, where hazing in fraternities and sororities is abhorred. But not all initiation rituals are abusive. A good-natured ribbing can help people form bonds and strengthen friendships.I understand it’s a slippery slope, but if not all teasing was criticized then maybe Jonathan Martin would have experienced some in college. Then he would have learned to brush off and laugh about what he experienced in the NFL.What Incognito did is wrong, but we should not take it as an extreme case of bullying. Our values and culture demand we view Incognito as a violent monster and Martin as an innocent victim, but that might not be the case. Bullying has evolved into a misrepresentation of true oppression thanks to our crusade against hazing.We need to distinguish the differences between abusive behaviors like bullying and hazing, and common bonding behavior like teasing. We have already created a terribly sensitive society, and we risk growing even more delicate. — lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis @ColeThenLewis.
(10/30/13 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>When I was a kid, Friday nights didn’t involve any partying. They involved a smackdown.My childhood, like many others’, I assume, was stocked full of professional wrestling.I stumbled upon a wrestling match a couple of weeks ago. At first, I was skeptical of grown men acting like they were actually wrestling in front of thousands of people. But the more I watched, the more invested I became. Suddenly, I was on the edge of my couch for every match. My heart was beating out of control.And in those moments, I missed it. I didn’t miss professional wrestling. I missed the innocent, forgiving mindset we all have as kids.When I watched years ago, I had no idea it was scripted. I was convinced this was the most realistic fighting there was. I rode an emotional roller coaster each match, developing bonds with professional wrestlers.But as I sat watching the first match I’d seen in 10 years, I was initially critical. Growing up had forced me to question, condemn and disapprove of something I had loved as a child. Professional wrestling has everything that you would want — entertainment, sport and heroes. Yet, we can’t respectfully watch it because it’s not “real.” I know it’s scripted, and that’s part of why I love it. I know my grandpa tells me the same stories over and over again, and that’s part of why I love him.If we can overlook someone’s flaws and accept them for who they are, people would learn to be more tolerant. We learn to not watch wrestling because it isn’t real just like we learn to not like a neighbor because he or she mowed too close to the lot line.We’re judgemental and cynical. Everyone has an ulterior motive. Everything isn’t as good as it seems. We think we’ve seen everything and can’t take it for what it’s worth. If everyone channeled the mindset of a kid whose favorite wrestler is about to be pinned, the world would be a more passionate, better place.Professional wrestling is undoubtedly fake. But that shouldn’t relegate it to obscurity. The significance isn’t if it’s real or fake. It’s what you make out of it. You can make a great relationship with something or someone with flaws. We need to stop focusing on the negatives and just love people for the brilliance they provide. So when Hulk Hogan is jumping off of the top ropes, will he actually land on his opponent or will he fake it? Personally, I don’t care. I’m going to close my eyes and cheer, loving every minute of it.— lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis.
(10/23/13 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>A felony is usually reserved for murderers, rapists, child molesters and other serious criminals, but we can now add “rock pushers” to that list.Three men pushed over a 200 million-year-old rock formation at Goblin Valley State Park in Utah and are being investigated with a felony charge pending.They recorded the activity and uploaded it to Facebook. Not even a week later, the Internet exploded with responses chastising the men. The consensus was we should give these men the worst possible punishment.But when it comes down to their actual actions, a felony charge is too much.I’m not condoning their actions. The purpose of state parks is to preserve, and these jokers did the exact opposite.They should be banned from parks permanently and fined heavily. Two of the men were leaders in the Boy Scouts and have already been removed from their positions. They have received a tremendous amount of negative publicity across the country. This is punishment enough.They don’t deserve to have to check the “felony” box on every job application the rest of their lives. They don’t deserve to be said in the same breath as some of the worst criminals in the country.They acted on a whim and did what was undoubtedly wrong. However, I bet more of us than we would like to admit have done similarly stupid things.When I visited the Grand Canyon, I took a small rock. Though I knew that it was wrong, I had an unexplainable urge to take a souvenir of one of the most wondrous things on this earth, altering the landscape in the process.We all have impulses to change something forever and put our mark on this world. That impulse can manifest at any time and, unfortunately for these guys, they recorded it.We have bigger things to worry about in this country. Two weeks ago, none of us cared or even knew what Goblin Valley State Park was. Now we are springing into action to preserve a park and persecute three people.At a certain point we need to realize what’s more important: nature or people. I believe even the most environmentally friendly would say people. We shouldn’t ruin three people’s lives for knocking over a rock.These three guys didn’t start a forest fire, didn’t kill an endangered species or pollute an entire river. They moved a rock three feet. We need to relax our environmentally conscious reflex and realize the totality of the situation. A felony charge is overkill. The rock didn’t feel a thing.— lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis.
(10/16/13 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>After months of denying YouTube access to my real name, I finally gave in.I have a Google email and a Google+ account, but hesitated to incorporate them into my YouTube account. But YouTube berated me like an overzealous mother, telling me how fun it will be to have my real name show up beside everything I do.I gave in, and with that came a realization: we are slowly losing our anonymity online. Our name and picture are being used across multiple channels now, sometimes without our full permission. Google is facing a slew of protests from the few people who use Google+ in response to Google’s plans to put your face and name in sponsored ads.A change in privacy terms clearly stated this, allowing users to opt-out anytime they wanted.Herein lies the problem. Opting out should not be the standard, but rather opting in should be the norm.If users want their review of a pair of socks from Wal-Mart to show up so everyone can see, more power to them. But this should not be something people are automatically forced into.Our entire opt-in culture has reached a startling point. In 2010, a gaming website in the United Kingdom included a clause in their terms and conditions claiming the right to their shoppers’ souls. They rounded up 7,500 souls. Although just a joke, it proves a point.We are all willing to leisurely hit “accept” on the terms and conditions, much to the detriment of our online individuality. Companies are using this to exploit us, admitting policies into their terms and conditions they know users do not want. This leads to our names being more publicly displayed than ever online.Some websites have their comments sections integrated with Facebook, providing a whole mess of problems. With Facebook privacy policies vague and confusing, I’m scared of posting any comment.We’ve all seen our aunt post something on Facebook we know she didn’t know was going on her timeline. With the growing number of middle-age people joining Facebook, clarity in privacy policies is important now more than ever.I think I have most everything on my profile set on private, but I really don’t know. When I accepted Facebook’s terms and conditions, I might have unknowingly agreed to let them see the ideas inside of my head for the rest of my life.People might say, “I don’t have anything to hide. It’s okay if everyone on the Internet sees what I do.” Though I don’t have anything I’m explicitly trying to cover up, I would rather have my grandma not see that I just reviewed a 2 Chainz album. I would rather have my professor not know I reviewed his book on Amazon, calling it complete garbage.Advocating the use of real names integrated across multiple platforms online sparks a bit of honesty into the Internet, but the loss of individuality and anonymity that occurs is devastating.We used to be only an IP Address, but now we are a collection of names, addresses and interests, making terms and conditions policies more intrusive and irresponsible than ever. — lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis
(10/09/13 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>While scanning a class syllabus there is only one truly devastating phrase: attendance is mandatory.This is usually followed by “class participation is encouraged.” These phrases are set in place by teachers who are afraid that their material isn’t interesting enough to bring students to class.This bland, uninspiring set of rules sets the tone for the rest of the semester. It’s going to be a long one, full of long glances at the clock every four minutes.If a student can learn all of the material without coming to class, there is no reason to punish them for not attending class. It would be their decision on whether or not to soak up the lesson for that day.In theory, the same result could be accomplished by teaching prospective test answers to the students in the class, with no mention outside of the classroom.The students who were not there that day would not learn that specific lesson, thereby losing points on the test — just as they would have with attendance.However, this cannot be accomplished because most of the classes with mandatory attendance don’t teach original concepts. Instead, these classes are regurgitations of text in a book. Class attendance is the only way the professor can assert his or her own “teaching.” Teachers don’t want students who don’t come to class to earn A’s. You could know all the material perfectly, but a professor who thinks listening to their voice is important will give you a B. That’s not right. Mandatory attendance does not force any student to learn. It only forces some to move from the couch to the classroom, browsing Facebook on their laptop all the while. There are students who are going to go to class no matter what, as well as students who are going to skip class no matter what the situation.When class isn’t mandatory, time can be better allocated as well. I’ve skipped class to have extra time to study for a test in my next class. But with mandatory attendance, I’ll sit in my class as I do the half-listen, half-read, half-stare-blankly-at-the-professor-to-make-him-think-I’m-listening dance.That’s not beneficial for anyone.Mandatory attendance does not make students learn, pay attention or care. It just makes kids not want to go to class.So professors, I implore you to take out mandatory attendance from your syllabus. Reward your students by teaching things in class that you can’t find elsewhere. Make class interesting. Your classes will be more full than ever before.— lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis.
(10/02/13 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>I’m all celebrated out.While I was watching an NFL game last week, I was treated to an audio clip of a Spanish announcer commentating the game in respect for “National Hispanic Heritage Month.” Very cool, indeed. However, days later I ran into an advertisement for yoga stating that it’s “National Yoga Month.” That doesn’t work for me. I’m not going to appreciate Hispanic Heritage while I do yoga in the same month.Every month, and now seemingly every day, is sponsored by some random organization, promoting a different agenda. A quick look at monthly holidays across the nation indicates November as “National Novel Writing Month,” September as “National Guide Dog Month” and April as “National Mathematics Awareness Month.” I’m not trying to take anything away from the specific causes, but our calendars are getting a little too full.It’s hard enough remembering to buy my mom a present on Mother’s Day, but remembering to do some multiplication in April is tough.America has become a holiday-stricken culture. We want every month to have some significant meaning, however so slight. The novelty of these seemingly random appreciation months underscores the importance of months that actually matter, such as Black History Month.Black History Month has been around for more than 35 years. President Gerald Ford was the first to recognize the occasion, and it has been a staple in February ever since. Now February is polluted with other “National Months” such as “National Heart Month.” I don’t even know what that means. Am I supposed to draw hearts everywhere I go, or worship the body part? This muddy water only serves to dilute the lake that is Black History Month.It’s not that I don’t believe the heart is important — it’s quite essential — but these events shouldn’t get recognition in the form of holidays. I don’t think we need monthly reminders of what we should value in our lives.I’m sure that people with guide dogs wouldn’t mind if they didn’t have a whole month dedicated to the dogs. No one I’ve ever heard of used National Novel Writing Month to churn out best sellers.If we could tone down the amount of appreciation months, I would appreciate those occasions year round.Think of it as shark week. For a week of the year, I’m more into sharks than humans. But for the other 51 weeks of the year, I don’t want to hear one more thing about the size of a shark’s jaw. If we stopped burning out all our appreciation in one month, it would be spread out evenly.Besides the well-known traditions, let me determine what to appreciate.But for now, October is rolling in. I have to brush up on my Filipino American LGBT History as I make people aware of Down syndrome, cybersecurity and dwarfism. It’s going to be a busy month.— lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis.
(09/25/13 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Security deposits are true deposits in most of the country. But in Bloomington, it’s all just an act.I just received my security deposit back for the house I rented last year, a full 45 days after I moved out. At first I didn’t understand why it took so long to get the deposit back. But now I understand that it takes a long time to make up illegitimate things to charge someone for.My roommates and I slaved over this house before we gave it up, cleaning every inch for three days. We swept and mopped, dusted fans and even replaced drip pans on the stove. But apparently, this was not enough.We were charged $1,300 in total, including a $560 cleaning fee. When I moved into my house last year, it was dirtier than commercials on Spike TV. Dust and dirt caked the bathroom floor. There were no screens in half of the windows. The first day I walked barefoot in the kitchen my feet were entirely black.You can bet that the students before me were charged this “cleaning fee” just as much as I was.Landlords of Bloomington take advantage of the students because they know they can. Most of the time it goes unnoticed because parents are paying the rent, we’re young kids with our first house or we come from another state with a lot of money.For a responsible middle-class kid, this extra $500 they steal from you can be devastating. It’s one last addition to the tuition cost, monthly rent and textbook costs we have to pay during a school year, and there is nothing we can do about it.I would advise you to take pictures or document things, but it doesn’t matter. The rental companies in Bloomington make you sign your life away in the lease.Don’t want to sign the lease? Then have fun not having a house.As a student of IU, you have no choice. Your only other option is to live in a dorm for all four years of your college experience, but that would stunt your growth more than steroids. My only advice is to milk the landlords for all they’re worth. Call them about every single thing wrong with your house if they say they will fix it. Make them accountable. Look at the specifics in the lease that will help you get the most out of your housing experience. But ultimately, when you sign a lease and look at the security deposit, just forget it. You won’t get it back. Forget your deposit like Bloomington landlords forget their morals.— lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis.
(09/18/13 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Although there are technically hundreds of professors at IU, there are really only six. They might have different names, but they are all the same six professors.Use this guide like a modern day Pokédex.Once you know its weaknesses and strengths, class will be a breeze.Professor ProfessorThink Ben Stein in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” This professor won’t use computers or projectors. He believes his voice accomplishes all, even though it sounds like background noise on an air conditioner. Class is always mandatory and you’ll get docked 50 points for missing once. Look forward to the day when you watch a VHS tape from the 1980s.Professor ExcitementThis professor is in love with teaching. When you show up to class without doing the reading, he’ll look at you like you just shot his dog. This is the only teacher who makes you honestly feel bad for not getting an A+. He’ll beg you to come to office hours. The first three weeks of class are dedicated to ice breakers, so you’ll know the hometown and favorite meal of the person sitting next to you even though you won’t speak another word to him or her the rest of the semester.Professor Funny Guy Often in this class, you’ll get confused whether you’re in a class or at a horrible comedy act. All these professors’ jokes are pre-planned, and you’ll hear them at least four times before the semester is over. They most likely say uncomfortable things to the better-looking people in class, which makes everyone feel awkward.Professor OrganicYou can identify this professor on the first day: frilly shirts, sandals and ill-fitting pants. When he announces that he didn’t print out syllabi to save the trees, you know what you’re in for: a year full of environment-based activities.Professor InaudibleReminiscent of the teacher in Charlie Brown, this professor will literally put you to sleep. Most of the class is spent scribbling notes down as you furiously translate the quasi-English language to regular English. Abundant in foreign language departments, these professors make class unnecessarily impossible.Professor Too Cool for SchoolThis definition is for some teachers, but all TAs. They are more likely to kick their feet up and drink a Keystone Light than teach. They’re similar to substitute teachers in high school ... but forever. This is nice at first, but after day three, doing worksheets and Facebook-creeping all class becomes intolerable.Four years of college, six different teachers. It’s amazing this University functions so well.— lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis.
(09/11/13 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>The next time you stop at the supermarket, hopefully you will be able to pick up a couple of pounds of horse meat. The opening of the first horse slaughterhouse in seven years in the United States is being stalled by a temporary restraining order, filed by the Humane Society of the United States. A decision on whether the slaughterhouse can open should be made by next month. The restraining order needs to be lifted.I’m a supporter of turning horse meat into common household food. In fact, I will be the first one to ride them into the slaughterhouse. Among the horse surplus, the good taste of horse meat and the ability to catch up with other nations, slaughtering and eating horses in the U.S. will solve many problems.The wild horse population has reached an unquestionably large surplus. About 33,000 wild horses live in the western United States. The Bureau of Land Management acknowledges that this is too many. They annually round up wild horses and send them to private ranches to lower the number. The number of wild horses will only continue to rise, further destroying our ecosystem.Don’t worry about the taste either. If you’ve taken any recent trips to Europe, you’ve probably already eaten horse meat. The supermarket Aldi recently admitted that some beef products they have sold there contain up to 100 percent horse meat.Countries in Europe and Asia already legally sell horse meat. We can join the 21st century with the rest of the world and start eating horses. Cows, pigs, chickens and lambs are already eaten. What makes horses different?I’m not trying to convince animal rights activists that horses should be eaten. I’m trying to convince the average American that horses should join the ranks of all the other animals that humans eat. They are no different. Horses are not extraordinarily smarter than any other animal we eat. They are creatures of habit, relying on repetition rather than cognition. Killing a horse is no different than killing a pig. Hopefully, horse meat can become a staple in our culture. It is best for our environment, our country and ourselves. The judge needs to let the slaughterhouse open in order to start a long overdue process in our culture of eating horse meat. So let’s slaughter some horses. I don’t mean to beat a dead horse here, just eat it.— lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis.
(09/04/13 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Navigating the first couple of weeks without having a breakdown or defecating in your pants can be tough. The first few classes in a new semester are like watching a movie sex scene with your parents: quiet, unnerving and awkward. Because of your possible troubles, I’ve taken the liberty of creating a guide on how to make friends in the first weeks of classes. DO Introduce yourself. Most people love making friends in a class.A genuine introduction can go far. The worst they can do is spit in your face and call you names.DON’T Use “The Classics.” These conversation starters may get you one response back, but they lack creativity.Classics include “Hey, did we have any homework in this class?” or “What time do we get out of here?”These common lines are the “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” of making friends. DO Ask for a pencil. Even if you have one, go ahead and ask.This is always a good move. After class is over, keep the pencil and you have a guaranteed conversation with the prospective friend.If they ask for the pencil back at the end of class, abort mission and drop the class. Don’t return the rest of the semester. I now have 15 withdrawals on my transcript, but I have gotten to talk to the pretty girl in class a total of four times. DON’T E-mail the whole class asking for notes. I’m sorry you had to go out of town for your grandmother’s funeral, but it’s not happening.Asking in person might work. But the mass e-mail always makes me want to send a full set of notes with wrong information.DO Bring cookies and treats. Nobody in his or her right mind will turn down a Zebra Cake.DON’T Sit on the very end of a row. I know you want to get out of class early, but nobody appreciates having to stick their genitals in your face as they shimmy past you. It’s uncomfortable and leaves both people with a bad taste in their mouth.Follow these instructions to the best of your abilities. I hope numerous romances and bromances blossom as a result.Best of luck.— lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis.
(08/29/13 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>I love different people for different reasons.In fact, I’m down with the whole of humanity.But the months of August and September make me realize again and again, though I love people, I hate what they say. In theory, these two months should be great for me. I’m an avid NFL fan, and the season is kicking off. Players are practicing mercilessly while most of us are spending hours pouring over our fantasy football leagues. Fantasy football is a great hobby to enjoy with your friends. I take pride in acting like the owner of people who could demolish me in every way possible. It’s somehow enlightening. However, I love only my fantasy football leagues. I don’t care in the slightest about yours — sorry, Dad.I don’t care that you picked Tom Brady over Aaron Rodgers. I wouldn’t care if you picked Wayne Brady over Mr. Rogers. Numerous fantasy football leagues in the country exist, and nobody’s matters less than yours. Everybody and their mother are in a fantasy football league. Quite literally, I know mothers who are in fantasy football leagues who don’t know what a second down is. So, please do not tell me about your team, your league and what happened on yourcomputer on Sunday.Just because I’m an NFL fan doesn’t mean I care about everything to do with football.I eat food, yet I don’t attend lectures about what food my friends had for dinner yesterday. Nothing is more annoying than when a friend recounts the entirety of his fantasy football league’s weekend exploits. He makes me reconsider the word friend. Instead, tell me about the color of your pillowcases, or what you thought about in the bathroom. Tell me anything other than your fantasy football shenanigans. The NCAA tournament is the only comparable time to these excruciating months. It is especially rough at IU, where most collegians fill out a bracket. For the month of March, I tire of hearing how everyone had Davidson in the Elite Eight. I love sports, but I don’t care.Please, engage me with anything else.Lately, my defense to people telling me about their league is to berate them with comments about my fantasy NASCAR league. Unfortunately, that bores both of us and has me wondering why I am in a fantasy NASCAR league to begin with. Maybe that’s the good thing about NASCAR — no one wants to talk about it. If only everyone was in a NASCAR league, the world would be a much more tolerable place.So, tell me about your NASCAR league. Tell me about your grandparent’s cabin. Tell me about your new sweater. Just spare me the endlessly boring comments about your fantasy football league. Anyway, my fantasy football draft was last night. I got a total bargain in the second round. Email me, and I’d love to tell you about my team!— lewicole@indiana.eduFollow columnist Cole Lewis on Twitter @ColeThenLewis.
(08/21/13 2:42am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Growing food in a laboratory is no longer just a work of science fiction, but a promising reality. In early August, a five-year project culminated with a taste test of the first lab-grown beef. The two expert tasters had positive things to say about the beef, although acknowledging it tasted a bit different from regular beef. “In vitro meat,” as it’s called, is made from stem cells and injected with different proteins to help the cells thrive. Researchers added breadcrumbs and other seasonings to the meat in order to create a more beef-like appearance. Although this first patty took more than five years and $330,000 to produce, researchers predict lab-grown beef hitting the market in as few as 10 years. The mass production of this beef would undoubtedly please animal lovers and cows, but what does this matter to me, neither of the aforementioned?One word: deliciousness. If lab-grown meat can be made, specific flavors shouldn’t be far away. I’m talking cookie-flavored bacon and Skittles-flavored pork chops. If we can make candles that smell like marshmallows, I better be eating a marshmallow-flavored steak at Applebee’s. This is the cure for obesity. Meat is only the first step. Fruits and vegetables can taste like anything you want. Skip the gym, eat some cake-flavored broccoli instead.But in reality, burgers could be cultivated to certain health specifications. Patties could be leaner and healthier without future generations noticing the difference. I’m going to be telling my grandkids they don’t know what real meat is as they leave me at my nursing home. Lab-grown beef is nothing to be afraid of. Skepticism will arise that it’s not real beef and is not akin to beef coming straight from a cow. After everything else that is in our diets, this “in vitro” beef is the least of our worries. The processed and unhealthy food we put into our bodies everyday is hardly comparable.A sweeping trend of organic grocery stores has been taking hold of America. InBloomington, Bloomingfoods is seen as a hip, organic place to get great food. “In vitro” food will be a step above organic. Local hipsters and food nuts may one day find them themselves bringing lab grown food to class and work.Critics might believe that it is everything that organic is against; however, that is far from the truth. Lab-grown food could be cultivated to contain all of the proteins and nutrients necessary to our body, without any of the excess waste.Mass production could also help defeat the problem of hunger. When the process is simplified, lab-grown meat could be produced in mass quantities with less hassle than at a modern day farm. Quantities could be produced quickly and shipped to countries with a hunger problem. Even further down the line, patties could be specifically made to tolerate warmer temperatures, making it even easier to transport. Even though these are all just possibilities, they are absent in today’s food system.In simple terms, the lab-grown beef could be one of the first steps in advancing our culture. From hunter-gatherers to farming, lab-grown food is the next step in sustaining the billions of people on this planet. — lewicole@indiana.edu
(08/20/13 6:56pm)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Growing food in a laboratory is no longer just a work of science fiction, but a promising reality. In early August, a five-year project culminated with a taste test of the first lab-grown beef. The two expert tasters had positive things to say about the beef, although acknowledging it tasted a bit different from regular beef. “In vitro meat,” as it’s called, is made from stem cells and injected with different proteins to help the cells thrive. Researchers added breadcrumbs and other seasonings to the meat in order to create a more beef-like appearance. Although this first patty took more than five years and $330,000 to produce, researchers predict lab-grown beef hitting the market in as few as 10 years. The mass production of this beef would undoubtedly please animal lovers and cows, but what does this matter to me, neither of the aforementioned?One word: deliciousness. If lab-grown meat can be made, specific flavors shouldn’t be far away. I’m talking cookie-flavored bacon and Skittles-flavored pork chops. If we can make candles that smell like marshmallows, I better be eating a marshmallow-flavored steak at Applebee’s. This is the cure for obesity. Meat is only the first step. Fruits and vegetables can taste like anything you want. Skip the gym, eat some cake-flavored broccoli instead.But in reality, burgers could be cultivated to certain health specifications. Patties could be leaner and healthier without future generations noticing the difference. I’m going to be telling my grandkids they don’t know what real meat is as they leave me at my nursing home. Lab-grown beef is nothing to be afraid of. Skepticism will arise that it’s not real beef and is not akin to beef coming straight from a cow. After everything else that is in our diets, this “in vitro” beef is the least of our worries. A sweeping trend of organic grocery stores has been taking hold of America. In Bloomington, Bloomingfoods is seen as a hip, organic place to get great food. “In vitro” food will be a step above organic. Critics might believe that it is everything that organic is against; however, that is far from the truth. Lab-grown food could be cultivated to contain all of the proteins and nutrients necessary to our body, without any of the excess waste.Mass production could also help defeat the problem of hunger. When the process is simplified, lab-grown meat could be produced in mass quantities with less hassle than at a modern day farm. Quantities could be produced quickly and shipped to countries with a hunger problem. Even further down the line, patties could be specifically made to tolerate warmer temperatures, making it even easier to transport. Even though these are all just possibilities, they are absent in today’s food system.In simple terms, the lab-grown beef could be one of the first steps in advancing our culture. From hunter-gatherers to farming, lab-grown food is the next step in sustaining the billions of people on this planet. -lewicole@indiana.edu
(08/20/13 6:53pm)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Growing food in a laboratory is no longer just a work of science fiction, but a promising reality. In early August, a five-year project culminated with a taste test of the first lab-grown beef. The two expert tasters had positive things to say about the beef, although acknowledging it tasted a bit different from regular beef. “In vitro meat,” as it’s called, is made from stem cells and injected with different proteins to help the cells thrive. Researchers added breadcrumbs and other seasonings to the meat in order to create a more beef-like appearance. Although this first patty took more than five years and $330,000 to produce, researchers predict lab-grown beef hitting the market in as few as 10 years. The mass production of this beef would undoubtedly please animal lovers and cows, but what does this matter to me, neither of the aforementioned?One word: deliciousness. If lab-grown meat can be made, specific flavors shouldn’t be far away. I’m talking cookie-flavored bacon and Skittles-flavored pork chops. If we can make candles that smell like marshmallows, I better be eating a marshmallow-flavored steak at Applebee’s. This is the cure for obesity. Meat is only the first step. Fruits and vegetables can taste like anything you want. Skip the gym, eat some cake-flavored broccoli instead.But in reality, burgers could be cultivated to certain health specifications. Patties could be leaner and healthier without future generations noticing the difference. I’m going to be telling my grandkids they don’t know what real meat is as they leave me at my nursing home. Lab-grown beef is nothing to be afraid of. Skepticism will arise that it’s not real beef and is not akin to beef coming straight from a cow. After everything else that is in our diets, this “in vitro” beef is the least of our worries. A sweeping trend of organic grocery stores has been taking hold of America. In Bloomington, Bloomingfoods is seen as a hip, organic place to get great food. “In vitro” food will be a step above organic. Critics might believe that it is everything that organic is against; however, that is far from the truth. Lab-grown food could be cultivated to contain all of the proteins and nutrients necessary to our body, without any of the excess waste.Mass production could also help defeat the problem of hunger. When the process is simplified, lab-grown meat could be produced in mass quantities with less hassle than at a modern day farm. Quantities could be produced quickly and shipped to countries with a hunger problem. Even further down the line, patties could be specifically made to tolerate warmer temperatures, making it even easier to transport. Even though these are all just possibilities, they are absent in today’s food system.In simple terms, the lab-grown beef could be one of the first steps in advancing our culture. From hunter-gatherers to farming, lab-grown food is the next step in sustaining the billions of people on this planet. -lewicole@indiana.edu
(07/22/13 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>It’s a tough time for magazines, and tough times call for drastic decisions. Issues are being sold for a couple of bucks, feature stories are as ridiculous as ever and terrorists are now being put on covers. Rolling Stone received a backlash of enormous proportions this week. The reason? The cover of its Aug. 1 issue depicts the surviving Boston Marathon bomber, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. Tsarnaev, or “Jahar” as the article affectionately calls him, is shown scruffy and posed, as if he is a professional modeling for a photo-shoot. A magnificent Instagram selfie, indeed.Many retailers such as CVS and Walgreens are boycotting the issue, refusing to sell any copies in their stores. While the retailers’ efforts are understandable, it gives Rolling Stone exactly what it wants — attention.It was clear the cover would create some controversy. With controversy comes publicity. It might as well have had the caption read “Jahar – HE’S DA BOMB!” A calculated risk was made with the controversial cover. The worst part is Rolling Stone’s sad attempt at relevance is working. The magazine has managed to insert itself into pop culture. News outlets all across the nation are picking up the story (of the story), discussing the merits of the decision. It worked on me. I read the entire article online, even though I have never ventured inside the pages of Rolling Stone in my 20 years. When’s the last time you picked up a copy? 1985? Let’s take a look at its numbers. Rolling Stone is the 53rd most circulated magazine in the United States. If you read a different top magazine every week for a year, you wouldn’t even get to it in the first year.More people subscribe to Golf Digest than Rolling Stone. Only 400 fewer people subscribe to Golf Magazine. The sport of golf is dominating Rolling Stone. That must hurt. In February 2013, the three-year-old Rolling Stone restaurant failed and closed in Hollywood. Shoving food at people’s faces couldn’t even get people to read the magazine.Looking at these facts makes the real story clear to me. This cover story isn’t about Rolling Stone’s gutsiness or stupidity, but rather its demise. Whether you believe the decision was right or wrong, it was a desperate plea for relevancy. In one way the cover is perfect — an attention-hungry terrorist on an attention-hungry magazine. Let’s punish them both by going back to what we have done for the past 20 years – not caring a bit about Rolling Stone.— lewicole@indiana.edu
(07/08/13 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Before this week, I didn’t have one thing good or bad to say about the state of Wisconsin. I would imagine you as well have no opinion of this far-away land. I know nothing of their customs, except of their cheese fetish. However, last Friday the governor of Wisconsin put into effect a bill that forces abortion clinics to require ultrasounds before abortions.This, in no uncertain terms, is the wrong decision. An unnecessary move, this bill will tear apart women’s hearts in what is already a life-changing decision. Why do these women need to have an ultrasound? What does it possibly help?Tom Everson, the governor’s spokesman, said the bill will “improve a woman’s ability to make an informed choice.”If they didn’t know what a fetus was when they made their decision, they will now realize what a fetus is. Very helpful.The decision to abort a fetus is a difficult one to make. With the added effects of seeing the heartbeat and the description and images of the fetus, the bill is an uncalled-for move to guilt a woman into backing out of the abortion.These scans all must be done at least 24 hours before the abortion, which is just enough time for a woman to feel horrible about herself. This guilt trip by “pro-life” supporters has gone too far. We are constantly bombarded by bumper stickers talking about how they don’t want to kill babies. Next month maybe they’ll force women to put on headphones to hear the fetus scream. The true motive of this bill is apparent, even behind this façade of extra knowledge they claim. The stated goal of this bill is to give women a more informed decision on their situation. However, the requirement of the ultrasound is removed if the fetus is the result of rape or incest.If that really were the true goal, wouldn’t we want all women to have the most knowledge possible? I’m glad the government of Wisconsin has half of a soul and feels bad for putting the added pressure on rape victims.But with this caveat, the motive is especially clear. Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker wants women who have abortions to feel bad about what they’re doing. Next time he takes a drink of alcohol, I’d like to show him how his liver reacts. Next time he eats a cheeseburger, I’d like to show him his cholesterol. Maybe Scott Walker will realize shaming someone into a decision only serves to humiliate.— lewicole@indiana.edu