One of the biggest myths that movies promote studying abroad is that you will instantly find your people. Like Lizzie McGuire in “The Lizzie McGuire Movie,” movies make it seem like you arrive, meet your roommate and classmates, visit different events and, suddenly, you find a group of friends that will attend your wedding.
But going to another country and leaving everything you know is not easy.
When I first arrived in the United States, I had mixed feelings. Mixed because I was happy to do what once seemed very far away, but I was also sad because my family and friends were not there to enjoy it with me. It took about eight months to adjust to a new culture, place, language and even food.
Every freshman feels like this, and the feeling can linger for months.
Of course, I didn’t want to be stuck in that cage of fear and loneliness all year.
Maybe someone would come and say hi to me while I was studying. But maybe not.
If life was as easy as waiting around, I think everyone would be happy just sitting back and letting things come to them.
I suspect many new students will not only feel lost but also intimidated when they first come to IU. There are a lot of questions that you just can’t stop from appearing in your head: “What if my classmates don’t like who I am?,” “What if my roommate gets bored of me too easily?,” or “What if I’m not as funny as I used to be?”
Doubt can slowly grow until approaching new people feels nearly impossible because you don’t want to “ruin their moment” by making them include you when they are already comfortable without you. So, you just wait until a miracle happens.
It’s okay to feel like that.
It took me a while to understand that sometimes you won’t meet people as easily as you may did back home. Things were different there. You met people through your friends, school or family. And even if that connection with those new people didn’t work, you typically had someone to go back to.
This fear and anxiety are normal. You’re not only trying to get a degree in a different language but also trying to enjoy your college years with people you want to appreciate and grow with, and that doesn’t come easy.
But you don’t have to enjoy your college years only with friends. Never forget that teachers are there to help you.
I remember always staying after class to talk with a teacher about the topics I liked. Outside the classroom, I joined Public Relations Student Society of America, a club many public relations majors like myself are a part of. They explained how some classes worked and how to get internship experience, and it was both useful and meaningful. Once I started to meet new people, I slowly gained more confidence in myself and starting a conversation with my classmates wasn’t a problem anymore.
Then, suddenly, you have a community. A small one, maybe, but one with which you share interests. You might even feel like they just appeared in front of you while you were doubting whether people would like you or not.
I didn’t want to replace the people that I still had back home because they have a special place in my heart. But I learned it doesn’t work like that.
Your heart is like a bookshelf. When you don’t have more space in it, you don’t throw away the books you enjoy. You buy new shelves and keep the new books there because you’re excited to read them.
You don’t replace your old people with new ones. You just expand your heart to put the people you love the most inside, while still being able to open up and build new connections.
There are still many years ahead of you, and you’ll meet more people until you’re suddenly stressed out because all your friends don’t fit on your wedding table.
So, when you get here, don’t think about how much of a loser you may feel like for not having friends in the first week of classes, because you’re not. There will be people who know each other because they went to the same school, because they met during orientation or just because they are more social than a lot of us. That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.
Take your time. The people that belong on your bookshelf are not always the ones you meet on your first day.
This story was originally published in the Indiana Daily Student's 2026 International Student Guide.
