It’s that time of year again, people. Sugar consumption is up and educated choices are down.
“Halloweekend,” as some may call it, gives students the chance to let loose, get their wobble on and nae their nae, whatever that means.
So here at the Indiana Daily Student Editorial Board, we have your back — or your butt, whichever needs more covering.
Here are a few suggestions for your Halloween shenanigans this year.
The punch. Don’t drink it, even if you concocted it yourself. A bowl of mysterious liquid is scary.
Don’t black out for the blackout. Meaning, don’t have “blackface” and proceed to black out. This isn’t the 19th century, and you’re not Thomas Dartmouth Rice. Being “Jim Crow” for Halloween isn’t acceptable by ?any means.
Along those same lines, don’t wear a homeless costume. It’s repulsive to make light of a serious issue such as this, and we’ve seen the repercussions. Don’t be the person to go for round two.
If you go to an Anything But Clothes party, be careful. Post-it notes tend to fall off, and whip cream tends to slide down.
Keep it PG-13, people. Beware the stalker parents that inevitably follow everyone on ?Facebook.
Don’t try to update your sexy nurse costume in order to stay topical. A hazmat suit doesn’t exactly scream “funny.”
You’re not witty if you think this is a laughing matter. Sure, all you’re doing is parading around in a suit that mocks the 4,500-plus people who have died from Ebola, no big deal.
Another contemporary costume on the rise is Ray Rice. A picture surfaced this month showing a blow-up doll, assumed to be Janay Rice, being dragged around by a man wearing a Ray Rice jersey.
Please, for the love of candy corn and humanity, don’t be ?that guy.
Also, watch your aim. Don’t throw water balloons from a moving vehicle.
Or TP a house. Don’t even look at toilet paper. If you do, you will inevitably be caught, and the entire student body will be warned via an IU-Bloomington Crime Alert.
This isn’t a drill, people. Watch out for the life-threatening water balloon catapult guy who’s on the loose.
When the night is over, make sure you’re with a friend, even if that friend’s name begins with pizza and ends with X.
Don’t wait until the next morning to find out what you did last night.
Although Halloween is full of trickeries and mischief, don’t pull a fast one on yourself by ending up in some stranger’s bed with no recollection of how you got there.
Along those same lines, don’t do the walk of shame.
First off, it’s now November.
Wild turkeys and frostbite are an imminent threat to this leisurely morning stroll.
On top of that, it has become the “walk of fame.” When you’re walking down Fee Lane in a shambly zombie outfit, you’re basically begging every passerby to add a picture of you to their Snapchat story.
We suggest that everyone stay safe, refrain from the punch and watch out for airborne water ?balloons.
