We're all slaves to Facebook

I was having a really bad week, so instead of dying my hair or getting an impulsive tattoo, I decided to deactivate my Facebook.

It seemed like a major life change, which is a little sad in and of itself, but that’s what I did. What surprised me was, not even 24 hours later, I felt amazing. I felt more liberated than I had been in ages. All from deactivating this website to which I’ve been a slave for seven some odd years.

This whole idea of connection we feel Facebook instills in us is bullshit. Facebook doesn’t connect you to anyone. Facebook is a device in which you subject yourself to everyone else’s extreme narcissism, or promote your own individual brand of narcissism. 

I’m not trying to halt technological progression. I’m not going to turn to the past and start hand-writing letters sent by carrier pigeon or burning mixtape cassettes for my friends.

I just feel like maybe everyone would benefit from a little break with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or whatever seems to be the digital poison in your life. If you’re in the same room as somebody, there really isn’t a sound reason to let your thumb autopilot to your Facebook app. You can give that person some respect and hold a conversation with them. Unless that person really sucks, in which case maybe you should leave the room and then check your Facebook.

I should be frank. I didn’t stop checking my Twitter or Instagram feed while my Facebook was deactivated. I still texted people and maybe used my phone for a call or two.So no, I didn’t completely cut out social media and electronic interaction like the cancer they’ve grown to be in so many of us.

But I really wish I could. I wish I could do like Andy Sachs does at the end of “The Devil Wears Prada” and throw my phone into a majestic, Parisian fountain, strutting away in designer haute couture.

The sad fact is, whether you like it or not, it’s not easy to make it in a world without your quirky web presence. I can’t fathom all the parties I don’t know about or the various BuzzFeed quiz results I had to live without in my Facebook-less week.

Which is why no good thing lasts forever.

I was seduced back by the sultry Facebook temptress when it came time for my weekly column — this column — to be published. “But how will people read about what I deem is important?” I thought. “How will my 1,268 Facebook friends know exactly what I’m thinking about?”

I’m not proud to be back on Facebook. But I’m trying to use it a little less, and I’m making myself aware of how much I let it dominate my life. I’m not going to tell you deactivate or, God forbid, delete your whole online presence.

Just remember, the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed or out of control, obliterating an unnecessary online world is just a few clicks away.

wdmcdona@indiana.edu
@thedevilwearsdm