The wrong "right" way

I was sitting in my dorm room the other day when I heard a voice trailing in from across the hall.

My neighbor, also a freshman, was reliving her experiences from her previous night out, somewhat graphically. Her roommate was on the edge of her seat in anticipation of which hickey was from which guy and which basketball player was which in the pictures she had taken on her phone.

As I was climbing down from my bunk to go shut my door, ensuring the juicy parts of my “Sound of Music” movie were uninterrupted, I heard one of the girls say, “I would definitely say we are doing college the right way.”

I looked back at Julie Andrews and thought, “What exactly does it mean to ‘do college the right way’? Whatever it is, I’m sure it doesn’t involved Frauline Maria.”

Seriously, though. What kind of world do we live in or university do we attend that we have people setting daily schedules and to-do lists just to make sure that they are “doing college the right way?”

It makes me so sad to think that this poor girl is purposely talking loudly and with her door open to try and impress our fellow floormates with what she believes is the quintessential college experience.

I’ve met her several times. We’ve engaged in conversations about her interests in high school, her family and her friends back home. These conversations have led me to believe there is no way she truly feels comfortable going out and doing the things she proudly boasts about the next morning as we pass each other on the way to brush our teeth.

Where is she getting this idea of “the right” college experience? I’ve met her family, and I feel confident it isn’t from them. Her roommate is just hanging on for dear life.

So what is this “right way”?

Maybe it’s just me being a freshman, but I don’t think anyone knows how to do college the “right way.”

I come from a family of three IU grads. All three of them would attest to the fact that there are tests they wish they could retake, parties they wish they had not attended, and people they wish they had never met.

Not to mention probably one or two evenings and experiences they definitely are glad to have left behind in Bloomington.

There is a “right way” to do it, because there’s no one who’s done it yet. And no one will.

I don’t have any intention of waking up everyday while living in Bloomington thinking “What would the ultimate college student do today?” I am determined not to shelve all my personal aspirations and dreams for my college years to chase some imaginary standard.

I plan to focus my next four years on making great memories with great Hoosiers at the greatest school in the country, and leave the checklist of “rightness” to my sorely mistaken neighbor and all the other foolish people who believe in such a thing.

In my mind, that is the right way to do it.

­— cnmcelwa@indiana.edu
Follow columnist Claire McElwain on Twitter @claire_mcelwain.