Easy targets

I’m not what you would call a “science nerd,” so I don’t know much about Facebook targeted ads.

What I do know is that I keep getting Japanese-language ads searching for egg donors that are inexplicably accompanied by pictures of Mother Teresa. 

Targeted ads are supposed to be an enhanced marketing strategy wherein advertisers buy data on potential consumers in order to advertise directly to those most likely to buy their product.

That is a long way of saying Facebook uses posts like “Macklemore is so sexy!” and “I just ate a Pop Tart” to make hella cash.

Advertisers are desperate to know what we kids are into these days, and we have ever so kindly catalogued our “likes” for them, for free.

As technology advances, so do marketing techniques. Most things we buy are catalogued and tracked, and depending on whether we have a membership or use a credit card, we’re tracked, too.  

The more connected we are, the creepier advertising seems to get. Visions of Minority Report advertisements haunt me, many of which are already reflected in reality.

By analyzing customers’ purchasing habits, Target can determine whether or not female shoppers are pregnant by their second trimester, regardless of who the shopper herself has informed. 

Shortly after it was developed, such analysis led to an awkward conversation between a teen and her father when baby-centric coupons were mailed directly to her.

In recent years, celebrities have discovered that when they tweet their whereabouts, the paparazzi mysteriously show up. More disturbingly, social media sites gave some dumb kids enough information to burglarize a series of celebrities’ homes. This saga inspired the much-anticipated (by me) film, “The Bling Ring.” 

To make it harder on cat burglars and the paparazzi, many stars have changed the way they use social media. Maybe it’s time we plebeians do, too.

Not to be a fear monger: Millenials are notoriously the generation of overshare. Many of us fearlessly post the most intimate details of our lives for all to see because “YOLO.” 

Maybe you find it convenient to shop online when advertisers know exactly what it is you’re looking for. If that sounds like you, then share away. Who am I to stop you?

Unfortunately, I have read way too many dystopian novels to feel very good about Facebook, or Target or whatever corporation knowing how my relationship is going or who my fave bands are.

Double unfortunately, if you lack a social media presence in this day and age, people might think you’re a sociopath,  so it’s not like I can delete my Facebook. 

A good middle ground between live-tweeting your wedding and having no online presence whatsoever is to think more carefully about what information you’re just giving away. I also enjoy liking things nonsensically to throw advertisers off my trail.

It’s that kind of initiative that garners attention from the fertility agencies, asking for eggs at $6,000 a pop.

­— casefarr@indiana.edu