'Girls' and rape

“Girls,” HBO’s comedy series that just aired its second season finale, has never shied away from controversy.

Series creator Lena Dunham has come under fire for many aspects of the show, from its almost entirely white cast to the plots, which are generally #firstworldproblems. But last week’s episode, “On All Fours,” has viewers divided on an even more contentious question.

The episode asks the audience to decide the nature of a sexual encounter between one of the main characters, Adam, and his new girlfriend Natalia.

In the opening scene of the episode, Adam and Natalia have their first sexual experience after Natalia decides she’s “ready to have sex now.” Adam hesitates, only wanting to do it if she’s ready. She consents. Natalia also lists her sexual expectations. Adam is willing to adhere to these demands, going as far to say, “I like how clear you are with me.”

By the episode’s end, things between Adam and Natalia are rather ambiguous. Adam, an alcoholic who has been sober for years, awkwardly runs into his ex-girlfriend, Hannah, and decides to order a drink.

After a night of continued drinking with Natalia, they go back to his apartment and he demands she crawl on all fours to his bed. She hesitantly consents. He proceeds to throw her on the bed and have sex with her from behind. She hesitates and says she hasn’t showered. Adam tells her to just relax. He begins to masturbate and she hurriedly pulls her dress down so he doesn’t ejaculate on it. Natalia tells Adam, “I don’t think I liked that.”

Just as when sexual assault happens in reality, things between the fictional characters of Adam and Natalia might seem intangibly vague depending on who you ask.

Some might say Adam raped Natalia, plain and simple. She was uncomfortable with what happened and he should have stopped.

Others would argue that she never specifically said “no” to Adam and it can’t be categorized as rape. For my two cents, I don’t think this is the question we should be asking.

I think what we should be asking is how and why the character of Adam came to believe it was OK to treat a sexual partner in such a demeaning manner.

Whether you want to categorize it as rape or not, it was still wrong. It doesn’t make a difference if the word “no” is used or not.

A person should be conscious enough with their partner to know if he or she is uncomfortable and if a line may have been crossed. An open channel of communication needs to exist.

Of course, what we are observing here is Adam’s creative journey as a character. He is a flawed human being who doesn’t always do the right thing, just like all of us.

That is what draws an audience to him. He isn’t showing up on girl’s doorsteps with flowers and a copy of “The Vow.” I wouldn’t want to watch that show. I want to watch the show with an emotionally stunted young man still learning the difference between right and wrong.

So ultimately, I applaud Dunham for writing this scene, because it quietly establishes two things.

One, a mental block to your sexual partner’s attitude is something that must not exist.

Two, just because you do a bad thing does not make you a bad person. Once Adam is done having sex with Natalia, a look of horror washes over him. He knows exactly what he’s done and he regrets it.

Dunham leaves it up for you to decide if Adam sexually assaulted Natalia or not, just as it’s left up to you to determine your own personal boundaries and be able to assert them under difficult circumstances.

­— wdmcdona@indiana.edu