Confessions of a gay Boy Scout

I was semi-relieved to hear that the Boy Scout’s ever-fought anti-gay policy may indeed be lifted sometime soon.

Funny story: I met my first boyfriend through the Boy Scouts of America.

In the under utilized auditorium of a church buried in my relatively conservative Chicago suburb, Troop 12 introduced me to a guy who later became my longest-standing relationship, but that wasn’t until years after I had quit the program.

Looking back, it’s funny to think whatever latent attraction I had to him, or had possibly exhibited at our Monday night meetings, would have alerted my scoutmasters and could have caused a regionwide, if not nationwide controversy, and I had barely hit puberty.

My failure to grasp or understand the political weight of my preadolescent impulses directly corresponds to the BSA’s mistake when reaffirming its policy to overtly exclude gay scouts and scout leaders. The BSA places a blanket ban on a livelihood that might have barely yet surfaced.

Though I did not come to terms with my sexuality until my senior year of high school, I can’t imagine the implanted trauma I could have experienced getting kicked out of a recreational organization before I could even finish middle school.

Boy Scouts could have taught me at a very young age that only some people are valued, and I was not one of them — that intolerance and segregation are integral parts of any structured society.

If the Boy Scouts repeals its discriminatory regulations, there are several positive outcomes, in addition to one likely drawback.

Foremost, if the BSA lifts its ban, a young gay scout like me can enjoy male companionship and the outdoors without worrying about whether he will be suspended from his extracurricular activity.

Second, the BSA will have finally joined the shifting tide of human civil rights supported by largely public organizations and groups. If only we could get Chick-fil-A on that list.

Third, an assertion for gay civil rights at such a young age would then expose other scouts to belief systems and dynamic opinions that would round out an experience from all backgrounds. Scouting has been a melting pot and a safe haven for those who frequently feel left out of their school environments.

But such is not always the case. The reason I eventually quit the BSA was straightforward and is still ingrained in my memory. I didn’t fit in.

Though this might surprise you, I have always been a defender of stereotypical, American machismo. Constructing masculinity and learned robustness — what it means to “be a man” — is constantly redefined in our age, but either which way, it builds our character. The sad fact is I rarely met those standards, and I’m not the only one.

I was picked on, singled out, monkeyed-in-the-middle, isolated, pranked and called “pussy,” “girly,” “fruit” and “faggot.”

It was no different than at school, and the scoutmasters made few reprimands.

The BSA offers merit badges on entrepreneurship, law and environmental sciences, but it seems that boys are not yet mature enough to address issues of sexual orientation.

I am doubtful that values of equality, tolerance and gender diversity can be addressed consistently via the privately-owned organization, as many core principles of Boy Scouts only reinforce male stereotypes and masculine hegemony that downplays the legitimacy of the homosexual.

If only there were an LGBT ally badge.

This week, 15-year-old Jadin Bell was taken off of life support after trying to hang himself in the school’s playground. Jadin was a victim of gay bullying.

The world needs more safe places for teens like Jadin, and perhaps the BSA could have been that for him, but they need to rise to the occasion and work to change more than just its policies.

Until then, I look forward to its next big step.

­— ftirado@indiana.edu