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Thursday, March 28
The Indiana Daily Student

Pudding and the downfall of man

Opinion editors Evie Salomon and Nick Jacobs

I aspire to be a professional journalist one day, but before I get there, I have to own up to a controversial piece of my past.

It happened last weekend, and it’s not very clean or pristine. It’s not very aristocratic, either.

Picture the following: a small, blown-up plastic pool filled with a dark substance dripping over the edges in the backyard of a fraternity. The smell of chocolate is pungent in the air.

At this point, I’ll just spell it out for you: As part of the kick-off to Homecoming, I participated in what will be referred to as a pudding party.

Cue the sound of a splash as a girl is flung face-down into the dark sea of dessert by a fratiator who shall not be named.

With the subsequent shrill ringing in my ears, I took off in my Nike kicks, game face on and all. Pouring out the contents of my cup, I reached into the pool and scooped up some of the muck — quite deviously I might add. Then, like a sniper, I carefully analyzed my subject and fired, sending the pudding flying through the air.

But instead of hitting the directed target, the custard splattered across the face of a poor soul with no intention of participating in such barbaric behavior. How was I supposed to know the excessive powdered mix, water and flour combination would add such weight to the substance?

Lucky for me, these moments were caught on camera.

About 18 months from now, I’ll be looking for jobs, and as I’ve frequently read, employers are looking at Facebook and other social networking sites before they
interview applicants.

A 2010 Microsoft survey found 70 percent of recruiters and hiring managers in the United States have rejected an applicant based on
information they found online.

Now, I don’t have any photos detailing drug use, orgies or any other illegal behavior.  I’m a good kid. But I do have some shots of this slimefest, with a video soon to come.  Will this pose a problem?

But what kind of problem could pudding pose, anyway? Maybe it’s the concept of people covering themselves in a feces-colored substance; maybe the issue has underlying racist tones.

More likely, it’s because 86-year-old Blue from the movie “Old School” participated in a slightly similar situation (just substitute the pudding with baby oil and the clothes with, well,  barely no clothes) and he keeled over and died from the excitement.

Who knows where these problems stem from, but as an aspiring journalist, I thought it might be a good idea to offer this full disclosure before it bites me in the butt later on. Or to quote good ol’ Blue, I decided not to be a pansy and ring the effin’ bell.

As for the future employers who get their hands on my pudding photos, I have to say the following:

1. Yes, it did take several washes to remove the grime from my hair.

2. Yes, I’m aware these types of festivities are neither the height of sophistication nor an example of my academic merits.

3. Sorry, I’m not sorry. College is a time for a little pandemonium here and there, and pudding is tasty.

Put the two together, and you’ve got a winning combination.

­— esalomon@indiana.edu

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