I’m Write, You’re Wrong: Defunding Planet Parenthood

After a long dry spell of not being the first at anything, Mitch Daniels put his foot down. He decided we should be the first state in the nation to defund Planet Parenthood.

Er wait, excuse me — Planned Parenthood that is.

I think we should all give MD 20/20 a round of applause for having the courage to sign this premier piece of legislation. I just hope he doesn’t show up on ESPN’s Not Top 10. As cool and completely necessary as it is to insult women when they have to make a life changing decision, you’d have to be a douche to do it.

Normally MD 20/20 is just a budget hawk. This isn’t his normal steak and potatoes of lean appropriations and a glass of unregulated tap water.

Cutting the funding of Planned Parenthood didn’t save Indiana any money, in fact the state lost money on the deal. Indiana is at risk of losing all $4 million of its Medicaid funds for family planning as a result of this law.

This could mean that poor people will have to start asking for donations just to get an ultrasound.

I mean that’s cool and all. I don’t like poor people either. Isn’t it ridiculous that they get free stuff just for having a hard time?

Maybe I’m being too harsh.

Maybe there is a silver lining to this hurricane sized shit storm.

Sifting through the legislation I realized why MD 20/20 supports the bill, it will create jobs.

Or at least a very specific job for artists that only draw pictures of unborn fetuses.

I’m confused as to why there was so much emphasis put on pictures of fetuses.

By law, within 18 hours of a woman’s abortion, she must be shown a drawing of the fetus . Though the accuracy might be questionable, as artist renditions tend to be a little exaggerated.

The law also requires scientists to do objective research on what a fetus looks like as it develops . As if Wikipedia couldn’t already tell us this .  

There is also a lot of discussion on how someone discovered that a fetus can feel pain at or before 20 weeks of postfertilzation age .The law requires doctors to mention this when they hand over the artist’s rendition . Probably because the caricature will make the head look so disproportionate, the fetus will be offended.

But now I’m just hating again. Let’s just remember that Indiana is #1 once again.

­— nicjacob@indiana.edu