Defining ‘sex’

The word “sex” perpetually clogs our senses. It is pixilated, spray-painted, broadcasted and tattooed. It’s heard in flickers of audio transmissions, lurid whispers and drunken cat calls.

But a new study from the Kinsey Institute finds that the definition of “sex” remains largely ambiguous. In the study, 204 men and 282 women ages 18 to 96 were asked to explain what constitutes “having sex.”

The results were surprisingly varied. An overwhelming 95 percent of participants believed penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI) was sex, but only 89 percent said it was sex if there was no ejaculation. Only 19 percent did not consider penile-anal intercourse as having sex, and about 30 percent did not believe oral contact with a partner’s genitalia was “having sex.” What’s even more interesting is that 23 percent of men 65 and older did not think PVI was “having sex.”

These statistics invite numerous questions. Can our disagreements about the definition of sex lead to miscommunication? And what implications do sexual activities not mentioned in this study have? 

These data make it clear that no one should assume their definition of sex is shared by others because this can quickly become problematic.

For example, when a patient is experiencing symptoms of an STI, the doctor may ask that person how many sexual partners he or she has or has had. If each individual’s definition of sex is different, then the answers to this question cannot be fully relied upon. A patient might say he or she has never had any sexual partners because he or she believes that only PVI constitutes sex. Yet, that same patient may have had oral or anal sex with multiple people. Thus, the determining factors for the patient’s risk of an STI have been compromised.

Here’s a question: Can there be a sex act that involves one person “having sex” and one person not? For instance, would you consider one partner penetrating the other with a strap-on as “having sex?” To me, the giving partner is simulating PVI, while the receiving partner is physically experiencing PVI. Thus, the receiving partner is experiencing sex, while the giving partner is not.
 
And for the participants who thought PVI was only sex if it contained ejaculation, why doesn’t the female orgasm come into play? I believe this demonstrates a gender bias, where the man’s sexual needs are held above the female’s. If sex must include ejaculation, then to be fair, it must also include the female orgasm. 

There will never be an agreement as to what “sex” is, but the Kinsey Institute’s study can help further discussion concerning sexual health, sexual behavior and gender concerns. The study also demonstrates how an attempt to define “sex” can ignore a whole host of societal, cultural and behavioral differences, which illustrates a much more complex view of the issue. The definition of the word may be contentious, but it is the issues and practices surrounding the word that are really up for debate.  


E-mail: joskraus@indiana.edu