Rules for young love

My grandfather used to tell my mother, “Be good. If you can’t be good, be careful. And if you can’t be careful, have fun.”

That last part mysteriously disappeared from the saying as I grew up – now my mom swears that it was never part of the original saying. But if it wasn’t, I think it should have been.

The saying applies to how we take care of ourselves and our friends when we go out, but I think it also applies to how we love. In the best of scenarios, we would all be “good.” We would treat our significant others with the respect, honesty and upright moral conduct that every human being deserves.

Almost all of us can remember a recent incident during which we mistreated a boy or girl, or they mistreated us. Often we blame our unethical decisions in relationships  on the a-a-a-alcohol, but our frequent consumption makes it only more necessary that we take the time to consider the moral implications of our actions toward others.

Maintaining one’s own dignity and not compromising that of our potential, current or past lovers, is a noble goal, which many of us fail to live up to.

Sexual ethics might not be the hot topic in most school health courses, but if it’s cut in order to teach safety, then by my grandfather’s proverb it’s not necessarily so bad. Last week was a week-long “Sexploration at IU,” and many opportunities were provided for students to further their own knowledge and practice of sexual safety.

In addition to accessible programming like “Sexploration” week, IU can boast of a strong network of advocates for sexual health on campus, including the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, the Kinsey Institute, the IU Health Center and the GLBT Student Services Support Office. Despite that, one in five Americans has a sexually transmitted infection, and two-thirds of those infections occur in people our age – 25 years or younger.

Being careful with our bodies should be a top priority, but relationships can be emotionally trying and dangerous to mental health, even in resilient young people. It’s beautiful to be able to recklessly love, and recklessly expose ourselves to the risk of heartbreak.

But college can be an emotional roller coaster as it is, so in romantic relations, being careful doesn’t only mean to use a condom. Be careful with your body, but also be careful with your heart.

This summer, I lied (not so good) and drove across the country for someone I barely knew.(Emotionally responsible? It was never my strong suit.) But I reminded all my friends that if I’m going to do something stupid in this life (which we all are), I might as well do it while I can blame it on my youth.

So at least for now – if all else fails – have some fun.