Like babies with pacifiers

I don’t have a cell phone.

I know, I know. I’ve heard the Tourette-style reaction every time someone asks me about it. And it’s not changing.

The more I see the way people rely upon their cell phones so incessantly for all tasks and can no longer remember seven digits, the more I stand by my decision. The more I see about tracking people by a triangulation of their cell signal on television, the better off I feel.

But this isn’t about me. This is about you. (Yay!)

This is about how I shouldn’t have to tell you not to stop the second you get outside the door of a building or classroom after a lecture to check your cell phone, blocking those of us behind you. This is about how you shouldn’t sit in a crowded computer lab with people waiting, playing on your cell phone for five minutes (or Facebook, but that’s another topic). Or how maybe you should pay attention to the conversations you’re having as you walk around campus.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love hearing about how you blew the highest number at the drunk tank this weekend or how you were only looking for sex. These snippets of you make for great conversations later, but maybe pay attention to your locale.  
The same goes for texters in class. If you can’t be bothered to stop texting for 50 minutes, don’t come to class. And don’t think the people next to you can’t see what you’re doing.

Those of us who actually attend class for the lecture don’t owe you a “please stop, sir” any more than you would owe us one if we poked you in the arm with a spork repeatedly for 50 minutes.

I could also include the numerous reports of how talking on your cell phone while driving is worse than driving drunk, yet people refuse to give up that “right.” Most people fail to see that there is a stark contrast between talking to a person sitting next to you, who can look ahead and say “HEY, LOOK OUT!,” and your friend sitting at home, not seeing the road in front of you.

I know that the conversations you have while driving are vitally important, well worth someone else’s legs or life, but they can wait.

And to anyone who complains about Big Brother telling you when you can and can’t talk on your own phone, do you also keep a nice bottle of scotch in your car for those pesky slow stoplights, MADD be damned?

Anyway, do yourself and the world a favor. Just wait 10 minutes. Get home, wait until you’re parked, then make the call. You’ll be doing yourself and everyone else around you a favor.