Liberal: A 4-letter word

I write this as a warning, a cautionary tale for you, but I mean not to scare you: Liberals are all around you, everywhere you go.

When you drive to go to work, and you hear that song you love (modern country and Lee Greenwood excluded), it was with 99 percent certainty written by a liberal. When you see the Rolling Stone list of the 500 greatest albums, it might as well be a list of 499 albums made by liberals and one Skynyrd album. There’s no alternative solution there. I mean, Journey and Foreigner are nowhere.

And as Fox News is quick to inform you, when you go to the movies, you’re paying to watch a movie starring and made by liberals, and perhaps Hollywood trophy conservative Jon Voight. When you go to an art museum to look at art, you’re again looking at the creations of a predominantly liberal group.

And, as certain members on the right wing are quick to point out, several teachers are liberal, too.

The phrase “indoctrination” is often used to describe what the teachers and other media sources of “liberal” America are doing.

And what are they doing? What is this indoctrination? It is teaching students facts based on science and empirical data, as opposed to superstition and fear of the unknown.

Liberalism tries to treat every human being as though they are worthy of  respect, regardless of skin color, sexual orientation or upbringing.

The reason that conservatives use this phrase so much when describing liberals isn’t because there’s a secret pamphlet the liberal conspiracy of high school teachers, professors and film directors hand out at graduations or movie theaters.

Conservatives have a strong bias against anything remotely liberal because, to them, liberals are a closeted group seeking to destroy America. The fact is that this culture battle possesses a certain essentially puritanical element. Many conservatives view anything less than a complete adherence to whatever they believe, be it creationism, the free market, school prayer or public nativity scenes, as part of a scheme by the indoctrination squad. They believe that there is a widespread attempt to discriminate against anyone with religious or conservative views. And that simply isn’t true.

No one forced Jon Voight to be in “National Treasure.” He wasn’t forced there by being blacklisted. Many of the founders of this nation would be considered huge liberals by modern-day conservatives.

Thomas Jefferson? Come on. All men created equal? What a crock...

Being liberal doesn’t mean you hate America. There is no more liberal agenda to destroy the family structure than there is an agenda of reptilians to control the world through secret human-reptile hybrids.

Unless of course, this reptile agenda is real, in which case, I, for one, welcome and acknowledge our new reptile overlords. You hybrids will need people to remind humans how thankful for your rule we should be, and I could provide that role.