Columbus Day under attack

If you’re reading this, congrats. You’ve made it out of bed on a Monday, and I’m sure it wasn’t easy. It never is.

I could joke about a case of the Mondays, or offer some encouraging words to pull you through the week. But that would be crap, because it doesn’t have to be this way.

This Monday could have been different.

Remember Columbus Day? We used to celebrate it, you know, in the 1990s. I’m pretty sure we talked about Native Americans and made paper hats. Or maybe I’m confusing it with Thanksgiving. Who knows? I always got those two celebrations of conquest and culture destruction mixed up anyway.

The point is, we got the day off from school.

But now, Columbus Day is under attack. We already let the liberals ruin Christmas. Once more, normal people everywhere are sitting idly by as bureaucrats in office chairs quietly take away the only three-day weekend in October.

I, for one, won’t stand for it.

This year, 22 states didn’t give their employees the day off, and the city of Philadelphia canceled their annual Columbus Day parade.

Our University isn’t doing much better. A look at the Official IU Campus Calendar reveals no real event designed to bring focus to the legendary event of 1492.

Have we no shame?

Groups like United Native America, an organization dedicated to the establishment of a federal holiday honoring Native Americans, are fighting to replace the federal holiday with “Native American Day.”

While this idea might have mass appeal in the midst of a recession, we can’t get caught in the hype. We must remember the noble grounds upon which Columbus Day was founded.

Originating in 1968, Columbus Day was ushered into existence by the Monday Holiday Law, which named the second Monday of October for the discoverer of the New World. The law also moved Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day and President’s Day to Mondays, giving birth to the three-day weekends that now anchor Americans’ social calendars.

Our lawmakers knew the importance of relaxation, strategically peppering our year with opportunities to take some time for ourselves. Who are we to question their judgment, putting a 16th-century man of conquest up to 21st-century standards of cultural relativism and respect, denying ourselves rest on ethical grounds?

OK, so Columbus took slaves to Spain and paved the way for conquistadores to eradicate native peoples across the Americas. That was then. We’re in class now. Such injustice can’t stand. Don’t we have an obligation to the future to gloss over the errors of the past, especially if it means we can sleep in?

This year, it’s too late. We’ve already made it to class. All hopes for rejuvenation have been destroyed.

But don’t worry. There’s always next year. And as for today, nobody’s judging you for wearing the same sweats as last week.

It’s Columbus Day. Live a little.