Highway robbery

Americans from Detroit to Washington, D.C., rejoiced Monday as General Motors followed industry rival Chrysler into a government-assisted restructuring, ending months of speculation regarding the fate of the embattled automaker.

As part of the arrangement, taxpayers will provide up to $30 billion in additional loans – mere milk money by today’s standards – on top of $19.4 billion in recent bailouts in exchange for a 60 percent equity stake in a leaner, meaner and cleaner General Motors.

In light of its generally inept management, cumbersome union obligations, declining market share, inability to meet increasingly stringent auto emission standards and a decades long history of hemorrhaging money, this new GM is certain to be a profitable and efficient corporation; Americans can rest assured that this is the last time the automaker will be feeding at the taxpayer trough.

Such a turn of events constitutes a major political, economic and moral victory for the Obama administration, which has once again stepped in to save capitalism from itself.

Much like the sale of Chrysler to Italian automaker Fiat, set to be finalized as early as Thursday, the Obama administration has managed to manufacture a deal that appeases all parties while satisfying the need for shared sacrifice.

First to suffer, of course, is the United Auto Workers, which begrudgingly agreed to acquire a 17.5 percent stake in the company, as well as $6.5 billion in preferred stock paying 9 percent interest and a $2.5 billion note to fund its $20 billion in outstanding health benefits.

In return, the union promised not to strike until 2015 – an onerous order, given its penchant for doing just that – and suspended bonuses and cost-of-living allowances for employees while agreeing to concede certain holidays. The UAW health fund acquired a similarly skimpy 55 percent share of Chrysler in exchange for comparable concessions.

Of course, the GM and Chrysler bankruptcies are not without their detractors. Responding to the announcement of the bankruptcy, Republican National Committee Chairman and perpetual party pooper Michael Steele had this to say: “No matter how much the president spins GM’s bankruptcy as good for the economy, it is nothing more than another government grab of a private company and another handout to the union cronies who helped bankroll his presidential campaign.”

Nonsense. These are indeed extraordinary times, and extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures.

Never mind that the proposed bankruptcies at Chrysler and GM run roughshod over existing bankruptcy law, which grants secured creditors first rights to repayment in the event of a bankruptcy. It’s necessary.

Never mind that bondholders, who serviced at least $27 billion of ailing automakers’ debt when times were lean, are receiving 29 cents on the dollar while the UAW is receiving 50 cents. They’re speculators.

Never mind that these “speculators” include among their ranks two Indiana state pension funds, for retired police officers and for teachers, and the state’s Major Moves Construction Fund, totalling $42.5 million.

When economically strategic and politically connected entities such as the domestic automobile industry and the UAW are in trouble, it’s our duty as Americans to step up and shoulder the burden.