Super-rich superheroes, unite!

The sky is dark; the city’s in crisis. Thunder booms. Lightning strikes. All hope is lost.
Atop police headquarters, the commissioner flips the switch bringing a giant spotlight to life. A dollar sign flashes in the night sky summoning the aid of the most powerful. Gates, Buffett, Bloomberg and Winfrey respond – clad in tight leather and spandex, equipped with explosives and wielding massive sums of cash.

OK, so maybe it didn’t quite happen like that.

But earlier this month, the world’s richest convened at Rockefeller University in New York City. They met in secrecy to discuss the nation’s economic woes and their collective role in the solution. Everyone at the party was a billionaire.

From prominent hedge fund managers to entertainment tycoons, a “Who’s Who” from the pages of Forbes assembled. Someone forgot to invite the uber-rich Olsen twins – so it wasn’t quite a full house. Regardless, those gathered en masse had an impressive history of philanthropy, having donated a combined $72.5 billion to various charitable organizations over the past 13 years.

Though Ted Turner’s mouth may have once betrayed his heart as he said, “Life is a game. Money is how we keep score,” it must be assumed that his consensual presence at the meeting suggests some sort of emerging belief in serving humanity. Indeed, I hope he feels obligated to help his fellow man.

As Uncle Ben told Peter Parker, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Turner certainly has great power, and his friends do, too. He personally commands $2.3 billion while 80 percent of humanity lives on less than $10 a day.

I’d take that over superhuman strength any day.

It’s nice to know our planet’s richest people are finally uniting in an effort to create substantial change. Much of their conversation focused on how to disseminate their vast fortunes and to improve philanthropic efforts. We can only hope that these verbal commitments and imagined strategies will soon be backed with financial might. I have no doubt that they will.

But to be honest, I’ve always found this type of giving a bit comical – the kind that is overwhelmingly massive and highly publicized. Though the billionaires held their meeting in secret, I can’t help but question if they truly wanted their plans to remain private. If we learned anything in middle school, it’s that a secret will only make people more curious.

In fact, I’ve always found the title of philanthropist a tad comical as well. To me, it references one who gives away massive quantities of money that have been crudely and astutely taken from another – one handshake and pen stroke at a time.  

But I guess if you’re going to make a living off screwing others over with a smile, you might as well use that cash to make a good name for yourself – and then put that name on the foundation you establish.