A girl’s best friend?

Like everything else, the diamond industry is currently suffering from the financial crisis.

But if the ring fingers of my colleagues are any indication, traditional engagement rings remain popular as ever.

Touted as the symbol of eternal love and described by phrases like “fiery brilliance” and “as everlasting as your love,” diamonds are the most ubiquitous rare gem in the American marketplace. But the fascinating thing about diamonds is that they really aren’t all that rare. They are, however, one of the most brilliant marketing examples of all time.

The De Beers Diamond Trading Company has monopolized the market for more than 100 years, artificially controlling supply to keep diamonds rare. Its scheme of stockpiling gems and orchestrating a massive advertising campaign has kept the industry running like a well-oiled machine for decades.

While the false rarity of diamonds is a bit annoying, it is actually the aspect of the industry that bothers me the least. For a symbol of eternal love, diamonds carry a lot of negative baggage.

The most pressing problem: conflict diamonds. The current focal point of diamond conflict is Zimbabwe. Diamond smuggling is increasingly aiding Robert Mugabe’s stronghold on Zimbabwe’s presidency, as more diamond mines are coming under military control and stones are smuggled out of the country by the bucketload.

The Kimberly Process, the diamond industry’s regulatory body, has thus far done nothing effective toward reversing a situation spinning out of control.

While the mining end of the industry is troubling, the American end isn’t exactly nothing but sunshine. Perhaps nowhere else are our expectations of women lower.

My jaw dropped at a recent visit to www.diamonds.com. On the pages “For Women Only” and “For Men Only,” disgusting stereotypes about men, women and relationships were paraded one after the other.

It shocks me that still, in the 21st century, men are expected to propose, and women to manipulate them into doing so – for heaven forbid she propose herself.

The tips in this section are laughably absurd. Women are told to “respond to everything with ‘that has a nice ring to it,’” while men are advised that “a diamond will get you out of the doghouse.”

I think jewelry is lovely. I have spent many a daydream on thoughts of a white-dress, sparkly-ring, one-knee nature. And let me just say here and now that I actually like tradition when it comes to cultural ritual. But even traditions need to evolve and change with the times, and I think the American culture of the diamond ring is falling far behind.

If a man wants to propose with an African-mined De Beers diamond that’s fine by me (so long as it was truly conflict- and child-labor-free). But the societal insistence that this be the only way to embark on an engagement is ridiculous.

Every person is unique, and every relationship is certainly unique. We should have engagement traditions to go around.